"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**JoesParty** · 04-17-12 19:10

Originally Posted by F Scott [View Original Post]

Gentlemen,

I have already obtained Mandy's input on this question, so wanted to put it to the brotherhood at large. For those of you with an ATF, or a steady SB, how often do you communicate with her about things other than a calisthenics class appointment? Or in fact, do you at all? And how often do they reach out with a "touch-base" to you?

I ask because I may be way in the deep end with my ATF in terms of contacting her during our downtimes. Mandy assures me this is so, and I am not doubting her, just would like additional input.

Thanking you in advance,

Scott

I have been in this situation with my ATF to two different degrees. In general, I am not opposed to the occasional text conversation or brief phone chat. As Hernando said, it gives that IRL GFE that many of us seek. But, as your question suggests, Scott, there is a line past which it becomes less GFE and more like you have an actual girlfriend. Call it what you want--an affair, etc.--but be prepared for things to get messy.

In my case, my ATF and I hit it off very well and very quickly. Within two months, I was seeing her multiple times a week, and rarely a day passed when we didn't talk for at least a little while on the phone. I think I've said this before, but: To her credit, she told me we had to stop after about a month. She knew I did not want to leave my wife, and she was in no position to have a full time boyfriend. Since then, we've developed a very casual, once-a-week-or-so type of relationship. I may text her from time to time (never more than once a week beyond when I've already seen her), and she will rarely text me. We almost never speak on the phone. This particular system, which I admit we stumbled on by accident, helps remind both of us that we're only in this for NSA fun.

Only you know where that line is. I suspect, based on your question, that you feel you have crossed it. I don't judge either way, but if you have crossed it, be prepared for your current personal life to eventually become a mess, or your life with your ATF to become a mess, or both. I was lucky that I was able to recover before I hit bottom, and I suffered only a few emotional bruises, which were (lucky for me) unnoticeable to my friends and family. I hope that I can avoid a similar mistake in the future.

If you want to look at this from purely a statistical standpoint, remember that the more she texts, e-mails, or calls you, the more opportunity there is for your communications to be discovered by someone else. However vigilant we all may be about deleting texts, guarding passwords, or using a hobby phone or scrubbing the call log on our personal phone, we all will eventually forget to do something. Call it the Tiger Woods paradox (in fact, I think someone here already has). The fewer the communications, the easier it is to secure the information.

Regards,

Joe

**Hernando** · 04-17-12 17:20

My SB of 1 year and I see each other 2 nights / week for an overnight. She has been slow to communicate but of late she calls 2 or 3 nights / week in between visits and we text usually daily. I demand this of her since I want that irl gf sensation. Our contact is short and sweet. She does not like to chat and calls are usually 5 minutes and texts one liners. This is how I like it.

What is the correct frequency? It depends on what your goals are re: the relationship. Mandy has been successful seeing multiple SDs and a husband and seems to be happy doing things that way. I am not in favor of multiple sbs or sds in our relationship so I work toward a more intense interaction. I have been through my multifucking phase and am no in a monogamous one.

**F Scott** · 04-17-12 16:21

Gentlemen,

I have already obtained Mandy's input on this question, so wanted to put it to the brotherhood at large. For those of you with an ATF, or a steady SB, how often do you communicate with her about things other than a calisthenics class appointment? Or in fact, do you at all? And how often do they reach out with a "touch-base" to you?

I ask because I may be way in the deep end with my ATF in terms of contacting her during our downtimes. Mandy assures me this is so, and I am not doubting her, just would like additional input.

Thanking you in advance,

Scott

**Hernando** · 04-17-12 15:30

Rrguy, welcome to the sugar bowl. It sounds to me like both these girls are high drama / maintainence and I would try to stick with higher quality girls. These would be employed and / or in school who don't need $$, but use funds for extra things. These two sound like low brows. Plus, if #2 will trade her other date for you she is either lying or has no conscience and will eventually do the same to you.

**Varoom** · 04-17-12 15:04

Originally Posted by Rrguy [View Original Post]

SB1: meet and greet last week. Mid-20's, cute, gave strong hints about needing sugar to fix her new motorcycle>>>>> turned up a mug shot from her previous res. Felony, involving theft. , what do I do with SB1?

SB2: but she sounds like a pro, especially putting time constraints like that? Facebook if it's true indicates she's got 2 kids and a fiancé, but she's never mentioned either in conversation / text (and she wouldn't if she's smart) ; constantly talking about needing new phone, more minutes, needing sugar, not sleeping with guys for money.

Thanks, and I've got a couple more I'm still fishing I'll post on in the future.

Welcome Rrguy.

SB1. I'd ditch her NOW. The advance to fix the MC, even if she is as trustworthy as you and I, shouldn't be happening. This has "bad result" written all over it, IMO. There are just too many out there to play that game. I'd just tell her that this doesn't fit your gameplan.

SB2:. She may be a pro, but if she is you should be able to locate her past. If so, you decide. Time constraints, hard to guess on this, maybe just needing to take care of those 2 kids and juggle sitter, etc. Didn't mention her S. O. ; Good. There are probably a lot of things you haven't mentioned to her too, hopefully. Talking about needing a phone, minutes, etc. Chances are this may be her way of negotiating, keeping you from offering her 40 bucks <smile>, or that she just isn't smooth at doing so another way yet, so I would ignore these comments for now. If the pro thing isn't a deal killer, go get-u-some.

Good luck with the others too.

**SubCmdr** · 04-17-12 14:46

To RRGuy Advice from the Cmdr on SB1.

After referring to the SBAM (SB Assault Manuel). The following battle plan is recommended. After performing throughout recon (which you appear to have done). Perform a maneuver that leaves you behind the target. Develop a firing solution. Then attack from the back! Put your WPAD (Weapon of Pussy & Ass Destruction) on target. Release multiple times for full effect. Then dive. Turn hard to port. Make a speed run along the bottom. Maneuver through the underwater canyons. Emerge from the other side and rig for silent running. Make several clearing turns to insure she is not in your wake. Resume patrol.

Warning: The thrill and excitement of this assault can be addictive. This tactic is only to be used when you a certain you can resist the urge to return for additional attacks.

SubCmdr Out

**EuroInCincy** · 04-17-12 13:16

Originally Posted by SubCmdr [View Original Post]

Brothers & Sister,

EuroInCincy I feel your pain.

SubCmdr out

Thank you fellow warrior, but us who served in mounted regiments with a history as long as the us independence, were educated on an early age to put on the kevlar underwear under the silk clothing, so in case the silk would tear from the arrows, the kevlar is our final barrier.

And your quoted reply is a very good and normal response, thank you oh underwater lurker.

**JoesParty** · 04-17-12 13:10

Subcmdr and Euro, I feel your pain. I've had a couple of potentials vanish when our financial expectations couldn't be reconciled. In each case, I was lucky that the communications hadn't progressed beyond email, so I wasn't out much time or any cash. (I should note that I try to avoid financial conversations before meeting, but some SBs go there almost immediately.)

I say more power to a girl who can find a guy to give her what amounts to a decent salary at a full time job. I just think, based on my reading here and elsewhere, that such guys are few and far between.

As for being "out of your league," it sounds like the lady has bigger issues than simple GPS. Just my non-mental health professional opinion.

In other news, SB3 has changed the location of our first interview tonight from her place to a neutral location. I'm not sure what precipitated the change, but alas, it appears there'll be no indoor fun this evening.

Regards,

Joe

**SubCmdr** · 04-17-12 09:50

Brothers & Sister,

I just had to share. Positive interaction with a Pot SB lead to this response once after she asked the amount of my budget for my SBs.

"Here in the sugar world the purpose of an SD SB relationship is to be able to have something you normally would not. Not to say its always the case but, most of the time I have been approached by men who knew I was out of their league. This is fantasy not regular dating so it's not the same. I'm looking for an SD who has a need for great company, fun times enjoying the city and great sex. I am all about pleasure for both parties! I am sure our time would be what you are missing. I imagine we would meet up when it was best for both and play it by ear. I do however want to establish that we both have lives outside of our arrangement and we need to respect that. I do agree of I'm not being taken care of I would not even go through with the arrangement. I believe an allowance of 2k direct deposited would be suitable for my needs. If you don't have an issue with this so far lets move forward."

EuroInCincy I feel your pain.

SubCmdr out

**Hernando** · 04-17-12 09:50

Heya Euro!

You had an encounter with the dreaded Golden Pussy.the anathema of us hard working not obcenely wealthy SDs. You should run, not walk from this user as quickly as possible. These SBs probably use the $$$$ ploy as a screening tool as well, so it might be worth calling her bluff and laying down the law. If she is a genuine GPS then there is no hope. She will eat you up.

As a fun diversion you should ask her if she will sleep with you for $ 1 million. (This is an old joke but oh so true). When she says yes then ask her if $100 would be enough. When she acts insulted and asks you "what do you think I am?" You can say that we both know what she is, we are just negotiating price.

**Rrguy** · 04-17-12 08:50

Fellow practitioners in the art of SB's, I could use some help. Some Time ago I posted my success rate with SD4Me; lately I've been trolling on SA while keeping a UTR on the side. Here is where I stand, and where I need help:

SB1: meet and greet last week. Mid-20's, cute, almost tomboyish, recent arrival to this area. Went well, after some difficulty arranging. Obvious money problems, but just started a new job in the local tourist industry. Yesterday, in discussing our next meeting, gave strong hints about needing sugar to fix her new motorcycle she needs for her job. As part of my due diligence, a google image search turned up a mug shot from her previous residence. For a felony, involving theft. Not sure she was convicted of a felony (checking on it) , as I doubt she would be working where she is with a felony conviction. With a definite number out there for "assistance" and only a mod-ay meeting scheduled (as in, no FC time planned as of now) and a history, what do I do with SB1?

SB2: met her a couple of weeks ago. 1, Hispanic from Texas, working in restaurant. Which means she's always trying to get me to meet her after work at 10pm or so for drinks, which isn't happening; I couldn't stay awake even if I could legit get out that time of night! Anyway, we both have a free evening Thursday so I proposed last wek we meet. When she finally responded last night, she said she had plans unless I had a better offer; when I said I didn't know where the bidding was, she said a guy was taking her for "just dinner" and giving her $300. I told her I'd buy dessert and drinks later that night of it was "just dinner", to which she responded she would trade him for me if I offered $200. When I said that sound good, she said "how about between 5 and 8pm?" Couple things: haven't found her on other sites, but she sounds like a pro, especially putting time constraints like that? Facebook if it's true indicates she's got 2 kids and a fiancé, but she's never mentioned either in conversation / text (and she wouldn't if she's smart) ; constantly talking about needing new phone, more minutes, needing sugar, not sleeping with guys for money. But then will text out of the blue at midnight on weekends saying come out, I want to screw your brains out! She's cute, but young, immature, crazy? I know "don't stick your pecker in crazy" but. Suggestions?

Thanks, and I've got a couple more I'm still fishing I'll post on in the future.

**AliasSM** · 04-17-12 05:12

Originally Posted by EuroInCincy [View Original Post]

After todays m&g I am a just want to find out how many of you have similar in my eyes out of touch sb's.

The m&g went great and we agreed to go to the local casino's the day after tomorrow, and she mentions."Oh I won't play with less than $20, 000, that is not problem is it"

Am I out of touch, too cheap, or just normal in saying "sorry babe. Go find another one."

Hey Euro, glad I'm not the only one that keeps running into these GPS-infected SBs. I got a good laugh out of the $20K request. Hard to believe she was actually serious, but you just never know. One SB I met a couple of weeks ago told me that her roommate was paid over $1000 in cash, and taken on a shopping trip to the local maul on her first date (no sex was ever actually discussed). The SD came into town from another metro area over 90 miles away just to take her out for the night. Probably cost him over $1500 when all was said and done, and he still went home without satisfaction.

The last 2 M&Gs for me were with a couple of early-20s HYCBs and they both demanded $500 per meeting. That's just outrageous to me, but someone must be paying it. Neither of them showed any sign of considering less, regardless of several attempts at negotiation. One told me that she would feel like a cheap prostitute for anything less.

I'm meeting someone fairly regular now for $150 per meet, but it probably won't last much longer if I can find a suitable ATF for $200 or less. So put me right there in that "cheap" category if you want to. As long as there are chumps out there willing to dish out $1500 for a night of shopping without sex, I will just have to learn to enjoy the label.

**Graham111** · 04-16-12 17:13

Oh the magic of the overnight. A real SB plus. SB1 continues to satisfy. The last 2 weeks I was in town she moved into the hotel and we had morning, noon and night sessions. Talk about bang for the buck. Had it's drama but overall so satisfying compared to pros. But while SB1 is enamored with me she is a Nando 1 making her living via SA and SD4M so it's pretty messy when I am not around. Have 2 new gals on the hook to see another option but as SB1 says, NSA this ain't! Danger Will Robinson! Kinda fun living on the edge.

**EuroInCincy** · 04-16-12 17:00

After todays m&g I am a just want to find out how many of you have similar in my eyes out of touch sb's.

The m&g went great and we agreed to go to the local casino's the day after tomorrow, and she mentions."Oh I won't play with less than $20, 000, that is not problem is it"

Am I out of touch, too cheap, or just normal in saying "sorry babe. Go find another one."

**JoesParty** · 04-16-12 11:17

I don't know where I'm going to find the time this week. My ATF is back after a short vacation and has promised me some extended time together. I need to set up a second date with SB2, with whom I had an excellent M&G last week. And SB3 has been in contact for the last three weeks, but our schedules haven't meshed; we did, however, finally set a date for tomorrow. It appears she has dropped all pretenses at this point, as she has suggested we meet at her place. I know she plays pro ball (I googled her number like any good SD should) , but I don't care. As long as I am careful to avoid being taken advantage of and keep my eyes open to any potential danger or drama, I don't care what she does on the side.

I'm also struggling with extricating myself from SB1, who you'll recall is spiraling into Nando1 territory. She keeps texting about her family drama, money troubles, and roommate issues. And I admit I'm having trouble just telling her (politely) to buzz off. She's not giving me what I need (or want) , and there's too much drama in her life. I suppose I just need to "man up" and tell her this isn't working for be.

Welcome to our newcomer, too. I hope you learn as much as I have from these fine gents, and Mandy too.

Regards,

Joe