"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[F Scott]

Met a new baby yesterday. South African (with that lovely accent) , intelligent and funny, quite possibly the finest body I've ever seen. Initial meeting went very well. We get together this coming week for a play date. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Hey Win,

Congratulations on your new contact. When I was down south not too long ago, I was out of my mind with all those fabulous babies and their adorable accents. I've got wood just thinking about them.

Good luck to you, and keep your brothers informed!

Scott

[CantWinLosin]

Met a new baby yesterday. South African (with that lovely accent) , intelligent and funny, quite possibly the finest body I've ever seen. Initial meeting went very well. We get together this coming week for a play date. Keeping my fingers crossed.

[Golfcart]

I have observed over the years that it is only when we examine the "downside" of the deal, ie the negative outcome, and are ok with that, that we are in a true position of power. We can't be made to do anything for which we are not prepared.

We have a similar view. I look at it as not being afraid to lose. A man unafraid cannot be pushed around by another in a stronger position who is afraid.

[Varoom]

Hernando,

Just enjoy the ride and maintain friendly relations if you can hold your emotions in check. It's hard, but we have to accept that these gems are not seeking deep emotional attachment or a lasting relationship. In essence they are seeking $ without feeling like they are having sex for $. Confrontation is a bad idea. Just decide if you can handle it. If not, move on to the next one. It's all you can do. No sense getting hurt in this game. No offense intended!

Spit:

Great advice. The only problem is, from Nando's perspective he cannot hear this advice, as he is "IN" way too deep to be able to just say next. And move on.

Gentlemen,

I have been reading all your observations and advice to our friend Nando, and, in addition to feeling they are also directed at me, Scott

Actually Scott, I have examined the patient and hear a rather strong heartbeat. In other words, I have been greatly encouraged by some of your writings of late concerning you perspective and pronounce you in the endeavor in a much more sane manner than had been originally anticipated. I recall reading not long ago of your thryst with a young lass in another city, and seeming that you are functioning quite well. So for the moment you are excluded from the previous writings (or ramblings) that were intended from me to Nando.

I know I am giving Nando grief here, but certainly in the most well intentioned and brotherly fashions. All in good fun, and hoping that if (and when) the thud occurs, that Nando can pick himself up and best dusted off for the next young Queen in no time. We are merely attempting to help the ole Nando.

[Spitfire]

Gentlemen,

I have been reading all your observations and advice to our friend Nando, and, in addition to feeling they are also directed at me, I'd like to offer yet another perspective for group consideration. I realize I am speaking from Nando's side of the fence on this point, but why should He sublimate his feelings and expectations in regards to his ATF's treatment of him if it bothers him?

I have made a career out of making deals of one sort or another, and I have developed a simple philosophy: anyone can envision and embrace the "upside" of a deal, namely that we get the whished-for positive outcome. When we are successful in this manner, we think we have power over the situation. I have observed over the years that it is only when we examine the "downside" of the deal, ie the negative outcome, and are ok with that, that we are in a true position of power. We can't be made to do anything for which we are not prepared.

Using Nando's, or my, situation as a real life example, if we are willing to accept that our babies might bolt on us, there is no harm in making our feelings, or in this case Nando's irritations, known. In my particular case, I had a frank talk with my ATF about her strange "aloofness" and we sorted it out and now things are golden again. I wonder if I had not had that talk with her, but rather kept it to myself for fear of ruining things, if it might not have had a negative effect on our relationship in that I would have behaved differently towards her, she would have sensed it and reacted, and so on downwards.

In the end, I guess, we are all looking for a connection, at times some deeper than others."Honesty" is a word that gets used a lot in the SB world, which on one hand is ironic given the forum in which we are operating, but on the other hand is something that many of these little fish are obviously not getting elsewhere. Could it be that they view honesty as power? An interesting idea to ponder.

In any event, keep up the good work, gentlemen.

I know I am not alone when I say that I await some salacious reports.

All the best,

Scott

A good perspective!

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

I have been reading all your observations and advice to our friend Nando, and, in addition to feeling they are also directed at me, I'd like to offer yet another perspective for group consideration. I realize I am speaking from Nando's side of the fence on this point, but why should he sublimate his feelings and expectations in regards to his ATF's treatment of him if it bothers him?

I have made a career out of making deals of one sort or another, and I have developed a simple philosophy: anyone can envision and embrace the "upside" of a deal, namely that we get the whished-for positive outcome. When we are successful in this manner, we think we have power over the situation. I have observed over the years that it is only when we examine the "downside" of the deal, ie the negative outcome, and are ok with that, that we are in a true position of power. We can't be made to do anything for which we are not prepared.

Using Nando's, or my, situation as a real life example, if we are willing to accept that our babies might bolt on us, there is no harm in making our feelings, or in this case Nando's irritations, known. In my particular case, I had a frank talk with my ATF about her strange "aloofness" and we sorted it out and now things are golden again. I wonder if I had not had that talk with her, but rather kept it to myself for fear of ruining things, if it might not have had a negative effect on our relationship in that I would have behaved differently towards her, she would have sensed it and reacted, and so on downwards.

In the end, I guess, we are all looking for a connection, at times some deeper than others. "Honesty" is a word that gets used a lot in the SB world, which on one hand is ironic given the forum in which we are operating, but on the other hand is something that many of these little fish are obviously not getting elsewhere. Could it be that they view honesty as power? An interesting idea to ponder.

In any event, keep up the good work, gentlemen.

I know I am not alone when I say that I await some salacious reports.

All the best,

Scott

[Spitfire]

Perhaps I should just enjoy the ride and not worry about others. In effect back my emotions down a bit if that is possible.

I am going to confront her and see what she says about it. Perhaps she is taking my $$$ thousands for granted and I will spend them somewhere else. I can not stand Greed.

Hernando,

Just enjoy the ride and maintain friendly relations if you can hold your emotions in check. It's hard, but we have to accept that these gems are not seeking deep emotional attachment or a lasting relationship. In essence they are seeking $ without feeling like they are having sex for $. Confrontation is a bad idea. Just decide if you can handle it. If not, move on to the next one. It's all you can do. No sense getting hurt in this game. No offense intended!

[F Scott]

I have been communicating with a SB for two weeks now without meeting for the first time yet. I have already gotten the picture of her life, and while it doesn't seem all that bad, no drug problem as I can tell etc. She is down on her luck and the relationship with her family is bad. Now I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress and this all of the sudden emotional attachment has me in quite the quandry, I want to help her instead of fuck her. I have enough emotional attachment at home, don't need to go find more. Not sure if any of this makes sense to other people, Not sure the SD route is my ticket just yet.

Buck,

Keep at it, my brother! It took me over a month to land my first baby, but things magically got easier after that. It's like learning any new skill, motivation alone is not enough to get the little fish in the net. You have to practice, and learn from what works and what doesn't work. I actually had a seasoned baby walk me through my text line by line and tell me where the red flags, turn-offs and stupid lines were, as well as what was working. I don't quite know why she did this, since we had already met and did not feel the spark, so it was not because she was hot to get into my pants, LOL.
Oddly, after I had landed my first baby, I started getting regular hits. It's like I had gotten in the groove, so to speak. You need to look at all aspects of your game: profile text, first contact text, second contact text, first meeting approach, second meeting approach, and so on. Also, keep in mind that a baby that did not rise to your presentation the first time might just bite the second time around. A lot of them just bide their time in their holding spots, waiting to see what hits the water.

This is a hobby for the patient man who enjoys the pursuit almost as much as the netting. It's not like dialing a number and getting laid by any means, but the babies are so much finer. As for their personal lives, as long as it's not like an episode of Teen Moms or whatever that show is, don't let yourself get deterred. We all have baggage, and ups and downs of fortune. That's just life. Keep your eye on the prize, though, which is fucking her. You can feel compassion, help her out of a jam, and so on, but the goal is to bed her.

Keep up the good work, my friends, and don't forget to write.

Best,

Scott

[Varoom]

I just found my HYB HCB SO back on the SB site, so it is obvious that she is looking for more than I am giving her. .

Who knows? Maybe more $$, maybe more regular companionship, maybe both.

Maybe she is just doing what she does. Isn't this how you met her, right? On SD site. Maybe nothing new at all here.

She still treats me like $ Million and I quite honestly don't know what to do at this point. I am seriously emotionally involved so I can't stand the thought of me being one of several guys she is banging and treating to the same love and affection that I get, but I AM getting good service from her, although at a considerably higher price than I would normally spend for hobbying.

Hmmmmmm, I do think that you are getting exactly what you want. Except for the sharing part. But really, isn't that part of this whole SD / SB thing. The only thing that is now different is your perspective on this very relationship, not the hobby in and of itself. The only change is within Nando.

Perhaps I should just enjoy the ride and not worry about others.in effect back my emotions down a bit if that is possible.

Yep, yep, yep. Find a way to trim those emotions or else you risk running this gig over the cliff.

I am going to confront her and see what she says about it. Perhaps she is taking my $$$ thousands for granted and I will spend them somewhere else. I can not stand Greed.

Oh my. There goes the gig, right over the cliff; lock, stock and barrel."Greed is good", to quote Gordon Gecko.

I worry about Scott but I worry more about Nando

Well placed concerns, Golf.

[BuckDancer]

Thanks Golfcart for the words of wisdom, Said SB has not yet returned, and I'm ok with it as I don't want or need the drama. I am quite confused by the whole SB thing now though. I'm relatively younger early 40's and my motivation is purely for sex and the enjoyment of the female body. I have no problems with the impersonable straight up phyiscal release of being with a pro. But here's the thing, the pro's these days are skank's, at least 95% of the ones on BP with their tatoo's, drug habits, and big ass thieving pimp's. The decent pros come with a high price. Then of course there is uncle leo always around the next corner. That scares me, so I thought after reading this SB thread this was the way to go! I have been communicating with a SB for two weeks now without meeting for the first time yet. I have already gotten the picture of her life, and while it doesn't seem all that bad, no drug problem as I can tell etc. She is down on her luck and the relationship with her family is bad. Now I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress and this all of the sudden emotional attachment has me in quite the quandry, I want to help her instead of fuck her. I have enough emotional attachment at home, don't need to go find more. Not sure if any of this makes sense to other people, Not sure the SD route is my ticket just yet.

[Golfcart]

I worry about Scott but I worry more about Nando on account of stuff like this:

(Edit Delete) I do not blow her phone up. I might text a sweet nothing one liner every 1 to 2 days just to let her know I'm thinking about her. (Edit Delete)

What's important is does she want this attention during her day? How often does she text Nando in relation to how often he texts her? Replies don't count in the count. How often does she touch Nando's hand in the car in relation to Nando reaching for hers? It's about natural balance, natural imbalance.

And this:

I think your baby got frightened by the strength of her own feelings for you and thus the reality of your age gap. (Edit Delete)

They are both scared. Scott is scared what will happen will happen and she's scared Scott is getting too close which endangers her sugar 'cause Scott's off the natural path, but here I go again with the Mother Nature stuff.

And this:

I would suggest a light hearted discussion with her about your feelings about what happened. She needs to know that you noticed a big difference in her attitude and that while you do have strong feelings for her they are manageable in order for the relationship to go on. (Edit Delete)

Oh My Fucking God, Nando. Not when she does it but coming from us that is Pure Drama and certain death. At least if Scott plays the Drama Card the sooner this whole mess will be over. I need a beer and The Real Housewives of Atlanta where there is a some reality.

I love you guys.

[Golfcart]

I call it not pushing on a string.

Yes Mr. Scott, I followed your advice and my correspondence with my first baby off SA stayed very cordial and I left it with Have a great holiday and feel free to contact me if you decide you would like some company. She sent back a nice message as well. So whether or not she contacts me again I didn't do anything to shut the door. (Edit Delete)

Women need space. They get space by getting more time. A woman goes through a series of steps before reaching the big one, fucking for money, when she needs space like never before. BuckDancer's move removed the pressure to choose, to choose when she is ready, and to choose him when other suitors are pressuring her to get with the program. Let the others push on a string and see where that gets them. BuckDancer is sitting back and letting the smell of sugar do the hard work. It won't always work. When it doesn't nothing else will.

Women also need the security they can withdraw at any point, before, during and after the event or events without dangling participles following them home and troubling their lives. Compared to all the other suitors BuckDancer's move puts him in the safe category. Stay on this path.

We must be real no pressure, as in genuine. This is not something we can fake. Women can tell.

Not all genuine no pressure guys win. Wimps are genuine no pressure. Confident men usually win for a while.

[Golfcart]

I'll add my 2 cents to the discussion. From the girls’ point of view, many of them are looking for an escape from the immature drama they may be experiencing with guys their own age. There is something safe about a relationship with a man 2 or more decades their senior. They quite often just want an escape from the jealousy and unpredictable emotional reaction of younger men. (Edit Delete)

Disagree to the Max (no pun intended). In fact I couldn't disagree more. They don't have to do us to escape an immature or disloyal boyfriend. It's the sugar coming from Scott compared to her needs (evolving needs) (inflationary needs) and the sugar available from SOSD (Some Other Sugar Daddy). [Question: Is somebody keeping a list of these? ]

I think it is very important to always keep a happy go lucky attitude with a sugar baby. (Edit Delete)

Agree to the Max. I couldn't agree more.

Scott's well planned out overnight may have scared his ATF into believing he is getting too serious or that she may start to experience unexpected emotions for him. (Edit Delete)

Yes, it will happen sooner or later. By nature the relationship is limited to a certain period of time, secondary to her other opportunities. We can prolong that time by playing our cards right but even without other opportunities Mother Nature will win in the end. Mother Nature always wins.

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

Last night I opened an email whose two word message might have otherwise sent fear coursing through my veins,"get tested." I was not worried since it was from a baby that I had only briefly corresponded with, but had never met with. She just gave off a skanky vibe, and I drifted away. I am guessing that she sent out an email blast to everyone in her contacts list, as there were several other names besides mine in the "To" slot.

It did make me think, however, that it is easy in the SB world to become complacent, lulled by the sometimes false idea that these are all amateurs that we deal with, and thus are free from STDs. My take-away from this is to trust my spidey sense, and if something seems not quite right, walk away. There's another baby or two just around the corner.

Happy holidays to all my brothers out there, and remember to always play safely.

Best,

Scott.

PS. Drock and Dru, pm me for her info. I don't know if she is still on the SA site, but you don't want to accidentally run into her, I'm guessing

[F Scott]

If in her first message to you she addresses you with any of the following: sweetie, hun, babe, doll or handsome (this last especially if you have no public picture posted) , or if she uses the phrase "I'm so horneee".

Scott