"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Walruscl]

I suppose part of this is a preference thing, but from a pure monger perspective it seems to me going with the Backpage girls is much more efficient timewise and costwise.

The short answer is that I don't believe the math to be that straightforward, and a lot of it is what you expect to get out of the deal. For the longest time I my needs were (mostly) met with CL / BP, though that can be sufficiently hit-and-miss to incur overhead just like the bowl does. When you find a good provider that helps, but it's still work to get there.

These days I'll occasionally scan BP, mostly out of habit, but nothing I see there is even remotely tempting compared to visits with my SB.

[Wnde8]

Having spent some time in the back page escort section, I see less value in doing the sugar dating thing.

You can get a pretty cute girl for between $160-$200 an hour.

As this is about the price you are paying for your sugar date, you're not getting a discount unless they stay the night.

But you still incur higher time costs: messaging new girls, dealing with BS, sometimes having to date, etc.

I suppose part of this is a preference thing, but from a pure monger perspective it seems to me going with the Backpage girls is much more efficient timewise and costwise.

[HollywoodGuy]

When it rains it pours. I am always looking but mentally I really have a, I don't give a shit attitude about it all right now. Also to make things a little more chill for my regulars I have started wearing condoms with any random girl I meet. I don't really like it but I get it.

I still miss my x but I am dealing with it. Girls can smell neediness and desperation from a mile away, something I have very little of these days. At the moment I am so physically drained. These girls will take it out of you. But no matter how tired I feel one day I seem to rebound the next.

Plus the flu and cold season came a little early, that can really put a damper on things. Just rambling. When I have some new pics to post I will. I am trying one thing at the moment with just one girl. Which was to get into a convo with no talk of sugar. Something I never do but it just took off in that direction. In the past that tactic has always backfired on me. I really really just don't care right now. So maybe its a good time to experiment.

I lost a girl Monday shooting my mouth off after she flaked. I could have acted like it was OK and rescheduled her, but instead I told her I had a back up date. She didn't like that. Oh well, next. So instead I went out with a chinese girl I met at a party a few weeks ago. She was the bartender. I asked her at the party if she had ever tried sugar dating and she said no, but she gave me her number. On the date the chemistry just wasn't there for me and I am sure she picked up on that. It was kind of hard not to as I was at half mast. Never a good first date. I apologized it was so bad. I might txt her again. She was cute and sexy but my mind was elsewhere.

Last nites date was my 3rd date with a new college cuite. She agreed to the $.2 but then tried to hit me up for mare at the end. I refused. She got out of the car without saying goodbye. I,ll fix it later if I can. Her skills are excellent and worth the extra effort.

Lets see some pics guys. I love pics and a lot of the girls do too. They all secretly (or not so secretly) want to be little porn star princesses.

[BamBam]

More than fishy. My hypothesis is that those are fake accounts SA creates and uses to entice SDs to re-up. That explains why so many messages are from far away SBs. They know your odds of identifying them as fake is low. Already 3 of the 20+ "people" who reached out to me have cancelled profiles. Just be aware of it.

I noticed something similar on SD4 Me. If I let several days pass without signing in, when I eventually sign in, shortly afterwards, I get a flurry of pm's from people an unrealistic distance away. I am convinced these are enticements generated automatically. I have not seen the same thing from SA.

RB.

[Rouleur]

More than fishy. My hypothesis is that those are fake accounts SA creates and uses to entice SDs to re-up. That explains why so many messages are from far away SBs. They know your odds of identifying them as fake is low. Already 3 of the 20+ "people" who reached out to me have cancelled profiles. Just be aware of it.

Mine just expired two days ago. I've been used to receiving one or two legit inquiries a day. Post expiration I'm suddenly hit with several kisses from America and beyond! LOL. My favourite Kiss is the "I think you're handsome" note. Since I don't use a photo avatar I know the kiss is bogus and move along. LOL.

[SlowMo]

I can't say I have had a flood but twice I have let my membership (two different profiles) expire and noticed an uptick in messages while it was expired. The strangest one is when the oldest profile (expired, I used different email addys for both) hit me with a message from a MILF in OBX. I couldn't read the message since the account was expired. I tried searching the profile using my active account and it didn't show up. Hmm. Not sure why one account would show available profiles in a geography when another wouldn't. Fishy.

More than fishy. My hypothesis is that those are fake accounts SA creates and uses to entice SDs to re-up. That explains why so many messages are from far away SBs. They know your odds of identifying them as fake is low. Already 3 of the 20+ "people" who reached out to me have cancelled profiles. Just be aware of it.

[HollywoodGuy]

Good for you Walrus, sounds like one of those successful relationships. You took a chance fronting her a significant amount but she is evidently honest and normal. Sometimes you have to take a risk which we all do. Most of the time we lose advancing money, but there is no absolute in this crazy business. I have never won that game myself. Most use the emergency ploy to increase their take home pay, and never intend to repay in service. My former FB was a classic example. There was always some dire problem and after a number of months she was into me for $$ ,just $50 here,$50 there. I asked to reduce her fee each visit but she kept ahead of me by concocting a crisis. I fell for it too many times until I finally stopped. Sometimes a good piece is not worth the effort.

All money spent is money spent. It's an investment. Sometimes the ROI is better than others. Not all investments turn a profit. The best thing is to have a diversified portfolio (of girls that is) comprised of both high and low risk ventures. One reason I am so strict ($) with some of these girls (the new ones) is that I know I am going to have unexpected expenses with my regulars (especially in an exclusive relationship). You can't really see someone for 6 months or more and not get dinged. On another note. After reading countless posts in my area it appears if I want a never ending stream of 9+ hotty UTR girls (and I don't think SB's are any different) the going rate is $$ just for the girl. For now this will be impossible for me. Maybe next year.

[FredMoore]

18 months into this adventure, and assuming I make it out unscathed, will have been the most mind-bending of my life.

I'm a monogamous SD (well, married, but only have one SB), and I'm as sure as one can be in this situation that she is exclusive to me. So I'm not one of the superstars with a pipeline of POTS and M&G's to tend to. Too much time and energy: juggling a family and even one SB is enough for me.

.

Good for you Walrus, sounds like one of those successful relationships. You took a chance fronting her a significant amount but she is evidently honest and normal. Sometimes you have to take a risk which we all do. Most of the time we lose advancing money, but there is no absolute in this crazy business. I have never won that game myself. Most use the emergency ploy to increase their take home pay, and never intend to repay in service. My former FB was a classic example. There was always some dire problem and after a number of months she was into me for $$ ,just $50 here,$50 there. I asked to reduce her fee each visit but she kept ahead of me by concocting a crisis. I fell for it too many times until I finally stopped. Sometimes a good piece is not worth the effort.

[Walruscl]

18 months into this adventure, and assuming I make it out unscathed, will have been the most mind-bending of my life.

I'm a monogamous SD (well, married, but only have one SB), and I'm as sure as one can be in this situation that she is exclusive to me. So I'm not one of the superstars with a pipeline of POTS and M&G's to tend to. Too much time and energy: juggling a family and even one SB is enough for me.

The sex has ranged from mind-blowing, to almost-scary-adventurous, yet sometimes routine. Even routine is fine with me since 3-4 hours of non-stop attention to the little head from a killer spinner body is something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime. At the same time she is sweet, forthright, hardworking, and supportive of my struggles with the daily turbulence in my household. There's been drama, but for the most part it's normal angst of a girl that age, with dollop of issues coming from a somewhat f*cked-up family situation. I have also gotten my share of personal reward in being able to mentor her on many fronts.

At the beginning, before we built up a trust relationship, it was a typical arrangement: $$ per visit. There were some occasions (like an all-too-rare overnight for example) where she refused the sugar. Then about six months ago there were a couple of financial crisis which made me throw caution to the wind and front her some significant sugar. At this point I cared too much to see her future getting trashed by something as simple as a cash flow jam, so out it went. I couched it as an advance, but also made it clear that even if we broke up the next day, I didn't expect to see the sugar back. She was deeply grateful, as the advance kept her in school and avoided some other fiscal meltdowns. With the assumption that the original arrangement was still in force, I roughly figured she was advanced for at least the rest of the year, so at that point it stopped flowing, and there were no complaints or further discussion.

Recently she mentioned a cash flow problem that perhaps I could help with. It was minor, but made me realize that we never really discussed where things stood. On our next visit I gave her enough to cover the expense plus some extra, which she was a little surprised about. Turns out she had only mentioned it since she wasn't really clear how / when the financial part would work going forward. We had a talk later, to make sure we were on the same page. I had come around to the notion that I could provide sugar as major expenses came along, since the pay-for-play was getting a little awkward. Over the summer I'd been steadily skimming enough to take a bite out of the next round of school expenses by the end of this year, and figured that's what I'd use it for when the time came. When I mentioned that she insisted that she was probably in ok shape until mid-2015, and as we talked the strong implication was that she really didn't expect or even want sugar until she had a concrete need for it.

Which took me aback.

Dream come true, right? Well for me it tested a lot of the compartmentalization that I think a lot of us have to do in the bowl, especially if married. The sugar aspect is the source of a lot of discomfort for many. But at the same time, it's the main differentiator between a sugar and a civvie relationship. For me, a civvie relationship is out of my comfort zone since it's more like an affair and therefore a more direct threat to the relationship with the SO. A sugar relationship, for all the balancing act it represents, is more of a business arrangement than a relationship.

That said, this specific relationship is not a threat in the traditional sense. I'm almost 50, she's 20. We wouldn't last a month if we spent any amount of "normal" time together. I'm aware of this in a very real sense, for her perhaps it's a little more abstract. She's also aware that as challenging as it is, I'm not going to abandon my family. Much of her admiration comes from my dedication to the keeping the household intact. So it's not like running off with her is a possibility.

New territory for sure, never a dull moment.

[VaSD1]

Those on SA know that the whole membership payment system is weird at best. From my experience, you can't re-up until your previous membership runs out, which means that you go dark (ie not premium) for at least a little bit. So recently I ran out and didn't get around to re-upping for 4 days. When I finally did, I got something like 20 contacts within the first 24 hours. Mind you, this is with the same profile as before where I had to be a lot more pro-active. I will grant you that three quarters of the contacts were from hare brained chicks from out of state or out of the country, but there are about 5 potential ones in there. Including one I spoke to on the phone tonight with the hottest body I've seen on SA yet. Still a long way to go on that front thought.

Anyone else receive a flood of messages after updating their membership?

I can't say I have had a flood but twice I have let my membership (two different profiles) expire and noticed an uptick in messages while it was expired. The strangest one is when the oldest profile (expired, I used different email addys for both) hit me with a message from a MILF in OBX. I couldn't read the message since the account was expired. I tried searching the profile using my active account and it didn't show up. Hmm. Not sure why one account would show available profiles in a geography when another wouldn't. Fishy.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Good tip! Since I like playing bare back it is always a risk. I try to maintain distance so that they don'why know how to find me. And I try to make sure they are on BC, but who knows about that?

A girl I was last seeing over 1 year ago wrote that she had a baby which was conceived while I was seeing her. She said she and her then estranged husband got it on trying to rekindle the marriage and it did not work out. She never tried to say it was mine so I can only hope that it isn't and she will not come looking.

I know for a fact that many girls will intentionally try and trap you! Even girls who originally are not that type can change when they get emotionally involved with you and start seeing a great future with you. If you are a nice guy, even though older, not bad looking, meet her emotional needs and make open ended promises, there is a good chance she might start missing her pills. A tale tale sign is if she starts mentioning things like how cute the kid might look if you ever had one. Etc, etc. Be careful!

I have seen the most career oriented college bound, liberal SB's try and get knocked up.

[SlowMo]

Those on SA know that the whole membership payment system is weird at best. From my experience, you can't re-up until your previous membership runs out, which means that you go dark (ie not premium) for at least a little bit. So recently I ran out and didn't get around to re-upping for 4 days. When I finally did, I got something like 20 contacts within the first 24 hours. Mind you, this is with the same profile as before where I had to be a lot more pro-active. I will grant you that three quarters of the contacts were from hare brained chicks from out of state or out of the country, but there are about 5 potential ones in there. Including one I spoke to on the phone tonight with the hottest body I've seen on SA yet. Still a long way to go on that front thought.

Anyone else receive a flood of messages after updating their membership?

[HollywoodGuy]

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...899&viewfull=1#post2260899.

Local story about SA, they all acted like they were getting rich. One holds up a Luis Viton purse and claims she got it for just having dinner.

"Johnson says the average student receives $3000 a month in gifts, travel and money. " This part is believable. Its just that most of the guys on this thread like to spread it around and not give it all to one girl.

[Beachesnole02]

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...899&viewfull=1#post2260899.

Local story about SA, they all acted like they were getting rich. One holds up a Luis Viton purse and claims she got it for just having dinner.

[FredMoore]

In my adventures I've only dealt with this issue a handful of times. More often than not, I use the standard "can't be mine, I've been snipped. " (Which I haven't) but they suddenly stop the scam and within a few days they reach out with "sorry, false alarm" text, offering to meet up again. Usually I pass, unless it was all 9's across the board.

.

Good tip! Since I like playing bare back it is always a risk. I try to maintain distance so that they don'why know how to find me. And I try to make sure they are on BC, but who knows about that?

A girl I was last seeing over 1 year ago wrote that she had a baby which was conceived while I was seeing her. She said she and her then estranged husband got it on trying to rekindle the marriage and it did not work out. She never tried to say it was mine so I can only hope that it isn't and she will not come looking.