"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[HollywoodGuy]

So after 18 months with my 20 year old princess I had to pull the plug. I had her on a 1 k a month allowance and she averaged 2 k a month on her job.

Since she lived at home and paid no rent her progress from having nothing when I met her to having all the basics is now complete.

She was my version of a 10/10 but never achieved the skill level in the FC to keep it going. Its too bad and a little sad, but the time and energy plus the funds just didn't add up anymore.

Since she was my professed GF, I am now officially single again so to speak. And like JL says someone has to be the boss, and I was definitely not in total control anymore so I had to give it up. Sb creep had settled in and my CPO was way off base. Every current girl I am seeing is at a strict $ per date or less (and this includes any all extras like rooms or food, excluding gas). This is going to make a big change in my ability to play and save for the rest of the year.

So yes, I do pay very little in cash but a lot in mentoring, emotional attachment, etc.

[RiverGriz]

Like SOL, I was intending to budget about $1 K / mo, but wound up spending $7 K the first month or so getting established and getting all the machinery moving in the same direction. Now it as settled in to about $1. 5 K / mo with about four, sometimes five good outings per month.

I'd be interested in hearing from some of the serious-old-times on this board what a monthly and per-event budget is running.

My starting budget is probably in the $1 k / month range, but with the date, some sugar, gas, hotel room, wine, etc. I racked up well over $400 which will mean 2-3 dates per month MAX and that doesn't allow for other M&Gs to bolster my future rotation. I still have half a dozen women that I'm interested in looking to meet me. I guess I'll commit to this one somewhat as I learn the ropes, set some rules and see what happens.

SOL.

[Nerd29]

I had been texting and emailing a POT for about a month as she was pretty nervous about meeting and seemed to be in and out of a bad relationship. I get a text with the standard "I really hate to ask you this but. " Well she needed a little bit of money and asked if I could help her out. I weighed the pros and cons and decided to meet her that afternoon and give her $. 6 as a down payment. She seemed super happy and we talked about meeting the next day. So fast forward a day and I send her a text letting her know I was in my way to our planned meeting spot. She texts back about 30 minutes later asking if I was there and she was trying to get another $. 4 from her uncle. Another 30 minutes go by and she sends another text saying she could not make it because she did not want to get pulled over for not having current insurance on her car. I tell her no worries and go silent. 2 days later she sends a text asking where I have been and why I have not talked to her. I send a simple response saying I was disappointed in her backing out of our meet and it gives me serious doubt I can trust her to keep her word especially since I already helped her out some with money. Never heard back. Oh well. I really did want to go FC with this one as I had a lot of time invested and she was super cute.

I will be visiting Manhattan for 11 days for work and if anyone has any leads in that area pm me with any information you are willing to provide.

Thanks! And happy hunting!

[JZLizard]

We all need different things. Some girls are Subs and want a Dom Daddy or SO. They do need constant validation that they are respected and needed, and special.

An SO should never have to feel insecure about your love for her.

But she should never take us for granted either.

And JL is correct in advice from those of us who are avoiding the hard relationship issues by escaping to the Bowl.

She doesn't have to feel insecure about my love for her, in fact really if I had my way she wouldn't. But everyone I've ever been with seems to feel threatened they will lose me to someone better -- the reality is that my dabbling in the bowl is very few and far between, and makes up a very small percentage of my life, and there is certainly nothing about any of these SBs that threatens to take me away from her, it's just something to cure my boredom when she's out of town.

And yes, mongerer forums are probably the worst place on the planet to seek advice on how to sustain a relationship. I'm the way I am because I was born this way -- I wear the pants in my personal relationships as well as business and that's mostly because it's not in my nature to be any other way. The likes of Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey would like society to believe whatever they are selling in their latest episode, but if I look at my own relatives and friends, at the relationships and marriages that have actually lasted, they fall into one of two categories:

1. The male is the clear leader of the family and takes no shit whatsoever off the female.

2. The female is the boss and the male is pussy whipped.

In other words there is a clear leader in every successful relationship I've ever witnessed in my lifetime. Everything else is only something I've heard about on TV. I wouldn't be able to force myself to become a #2 case if I wanted to.

[FredMoore]

Tip of the day: Never take relationship advice from anyone who hangs out on a forum like this.

I've already left her once in the past. If she fucks up I'll leave her again.

We all need different things. Some girls are Subs and want a Dom Daddy or SO. They do need constant validation that they are respected and needed, and special.

An SO should never have to feel insecure about your love for her.

But she should never take us for granted either.

And JL is correct in advice from those of us who are avoiding the hard relationship issues by escaping to the Bowl.

[SpiceOfLife]

So my very first M&G went well IMO. Met my sexy blonde 30 y / o, we had drinks, flirted a lot and then I asked if she wanted to get a room. Neither of us were particularly expecting a trip to the FC but being a good boy scout I was prepared. She hadn't had sex in almost 2 years, was very sensitive and came easily and loudly. So I now have my first SB and we'll see where it goes from here. It's a first time experience for both of us and lots of fun. However, she was adamant about not getting naked until I committed to her as my only SB before the deed, which of course I did. She is my only SB "at this time" but I have another M&G set up for today that I don't expect to go to the FC and I'll make a decision on who I want to be with for now. I don't think she understands that this type of relationship is supposed to be transitional and isn't a long-term commitment. I'm just starting to have fun and I want to see what's out there. Next date I'm going to explain in further detail exactly how this works. I don't want her to feel like I used her and threw her to the side. I like her too much for that. But, there were some red flags last night, and I probably should have avoided the FC on the first date with this one but the call of the FC was too strong.

Red Flags: I only have ever dated non-smokers and picked her profile specifically because she didn't smoke, so imaging my surprise when she showed up with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The smell of it actually turns me off so much that I had a hard time keeping an erection, although I did manage 2 pops.

She has expensive tastes in jewelry, purses, etc. But had zero money on her even though she owns a legitimate small business.

She is already making long-term dating plans based on the fact that we did the deed. I came into this SD thing wanting to meet as many women as I could. I'm not looking for monogamy.

My starting budget is probably in the $1 k / month range, but with the date, some sugar, gas, hotel room, wine, etc. I racked up well over $400 which will mean 2-3 dates per month MAX and that doesn't allow for other M&Gs to bolster my future rotation. I still have half a dozen women that I'm interested in looking to meet me. I guess I'll commit to this one somewhat as I learn the ropes, set some rules and see what happens.

SOL.

[JZLizard]

I don't think the upper hand works. Lasting relationships require a balance. Women are into the storybook of happily ever after and long for that. If she is not secure in a relationship she will stray and eventually leave.

Tip of the day: Never take relationship advice from anyone who hangs out on a forum like this.

I've already left her once in the past. If she fucks up I'll leave her again.

[Golfcart]

I don't think any woman has ever been secure with me in a relationship, but it's actually good to keep them a little jealous and worried -- I'd rather it be like that then the other way around. It gives me the upper hand in the relationship. But sometimes they need certain reaffirmations -- women have their games.

I don't think the upper hand works. Lasting relationships require a balance. Women are into the storybook of happily ever after and long for that. If she is not secure in a relationship she will stray and eventually leave.

[JZLizard]

The woman wouldn't pull that shyt if she was truly secure in the relationship. We're on the lookout for strange but still more secure than the women. We trust. Women don't trust.

I don't think any woman has ever been secure with me in a relationship, but it's actually good to keep them a little jealous and worried -- I'd rather it be like that then the other way around. It gives me the upper hand in the relationship. But sometimes they need certain reaffirmations -- women have their games.

[Golfcart]

Women like us to buy things for them on command. It doesn't matter so much what the item is, it's the act itself. I think it gives them a temporary feeling of power.

Even my GF (who isn't perfect but is one of the most honest women I've ever met -- one main reason I keep her) likes to test me on this every now and then. She will either send me a link to something online and ask me to order it for her, or if we are at a store she will ask me to buy something for her. It's almost never an expensive item -- I guess she does this because if the cost were objectionable it might get in the way of the real purpose of the test. Then, sometimes out of nowhere she will either hand me money to cover the purchase, or offer to buy dinner or something similar.

It's actually a two-phase assault. Getting us to buy it for them is saying "look I can pull your strings" and paying back is saying "look I never really needed your help, I could have afforded it myself if I wanted, I just wanted to test you".

The woman wouldn't pull that shyt if she was truly secure in the relationship. We're on the lookout for strange but still more secure than the women. We trust. Women don't trust.

[JZLizard]

Reminds me of the time a girl and I went to a casino and stopped at the casino's dress shop. We were not getting along particularly well at the time. She picked out a dress I didn't like. I voiced no opinion and paid. Later she told me she didn't like the dress. I asked why she asked for it then. She said, "To punish you." I took too long getting rid of her because she was hot as the dickens for her age and fuqued like a mink.

Some women are good through and through and others are down right mean. It's hard to tell what's behind that smile sometimes.

Women like us to buy things for them on command. It doesn't matter so much what the item is, it's the act itself. I think it gives them a temporary feeling of power.

Even my GF (who isn't perfect but is one of the most honest women I've ever met -- one main reason I keep her) likes to test me on this every now and then. She will either send me a link to something online and ask me to order it for her, or if we are at a store she will ask me to buy something for her. It's almost never an expensive item -- I guess she does this because if the cost were objectionable it might get in the way of the real purpose of the test. Then, sometimes out of nowhere she will either hand me money to cover the purchase, or offer to buy dinner or something similar.

It's actually a two-phase assault. Getting us to buy it for them is saying "look I can pull your strings" and paying back is saying "look I never really needed your help, I could have afforded it myself if I wanted, I just wanted to test you".

[Golfcart]

I once was talking to a stripper about what a PITA someone I was dating at the time was. She said "listen, I can tell you because I'm a woman -- we are evil creatures". She then proceeded to tell me a story about how once she had a married regular customer that would always come in and buy lap dances. She said she didn't really like him at all, but she decided to play a game and see if she could lure him away from his wife and family. So over a period of weeks / months she started dating him, convinced him to leave his wife for her, etc. Then after he did, she just dumped him. I said why would you intentionally screw up someone's life like that? She said "just to see if I could, it was a competitive thing. I told you, we're evil!"

Reminds me of the time a girl and I went to a casino and stopped at the casino's dress shop. We were not getting along particularly well at the time. She picked out a dress I didn't like. I voiced no opinion and paid. Later she told me she didn't like the dress. I asked why she asked for it then. She said, "To punish you." I took too long getting rid of her because she was hot as the dickens for her age and fuqued like a mink.

Some women are good through and through and others are down right mean. It's hard to tell what's behind that smile sometimes.

[FredMoore]

Coeds are back in school and there are 42,000 females attending 10 Four year universities within 70 miles of my home town. This does not include the junior Colleges which are prolific as well. How about those numbers? There are another 40,000 within 3 hours. Mind (and other) blowing stats for sure. Colleges are fertile shopping malls for broke not so moral youngsters willing to spread their (er) wings to make ends meet. Pun intended.

My inbox is lit up and I have neither the time nor the money to entertain them all. Decisions must be made which are not easy.

SB #1 is Asian, beautiful, and willing to do whatever I want. She is a little chubby, which is not to my liking. So I like to pad the calendar a little more.

SB #2 is in the wind. We did a great great arrangement but could not meet enough to satisfy the terms of the deal. So that is off. Too bad since she was a true 9 across the board.

FB #1 vaporized after owing me some money. She unfortunately was a Nando 1 to the core and constantly wanted a loan or advance. We worked out a repay schedule but she's gone.

Pots I am working are:

1) 18 yr old college frosh ,2) 19 yr old Frosh, 23 yr old Senior all slim and ready for the M&G.

So many Babies, so little time and money!

[SkinJr]

I'm trying to stay out of the bowl. Burns up too much of my time and attention. I let my sa acct go dead but I keep my toes in the water a little.

22 year old freak is constantly chasing me down. I've gone to strictly bjs cause she is a dirty hippie and I think she screws everything. She is a filthy who're and I can do anything. This last time I videoed her gagging on it for 30 minutes before I painted her and the wall behind her. She should be in porn. She even makes the loudest and sexiest noises while sucking.

22 year old mom keeps having a crisis of conscience. But every time the bills come due she comes calling. If she hadn't had a kid her body would be a 10. But it's an 8 now and she is fairly skilled. BJ is lacking like most are. I think she could learn but our time is normally rushed.

New 24 year old innocent girl is a little thick but her face is pretty and she is super innocent and sweet. After a month of delays got to the fc today and it was what I thought. She was innocent and not very experienced acting but she tried hard and was enthusiastic to suck to finish me. Her BJ was the standard sub par, although we could force it down her throat, but she seemed very interested in getting better. She asked me not to get it in her face so that's something we will have to over come. Her body was a 6 but she was super wet and snug.

[SpiceOfLife]

Hey all! First, my sincerest and deepest gratitude to you veteran SD's who have posted so much valuable information here for me to research and properly prepare for my upcoming SD adventures. I have been in the bowl for just over a week (I joined SA 10 days ago) and have my first M&G set for tomorrow with a true SB first-timer, 30 YO smoking hot blonde who needs attention and someone to treat her nice, which I definitely will. I have several other MG's set up, been juggling them really among 7 women who want to meet me so far. My first MG setup flaked and went radio silent, now she's hitting me up for a reschedule but I have seen the unbelievable number of hot young thangs who are available to me and I'm not giving her a second chance. My second MG setup was an Asian girl, about 30, cute, but maybe a 7 overall who didn't like it when I said that I had some free time after the MG to "try each other out" if the MG went well. "If you expect sex on the first date then what you're looking for is a prostitute, not a classy woman!" I responded that I had no expectations at all beyond a nice dinner and a chance to get to know her, but that the next step beyond the MG would include sex. And that if we didn't click, I would not sleep with her because I was NOT looking for a prostitute. Despite being a semi-experienced SB with about a year under her belt, she went silent. Her loss. If the communication is that bad from the start, and she gets offended that easily, then I probably dodged a bullet. Then a GPS who wanted $250 to come to the MG. She's got a marvelous wit and our correspondence has been very stimulating, so I finally said "$250 for dinner, drinks and some intimate time with a beautiful woman is acceptable" and she came back with "As in any relationship, you will have to seduce me and intimate time will cost more. " I told her she was probably worth every penny but I cannot afford her, and to keep me in mind if she could manage $250 all-inclusive. How can a POT charge a'la carte and also claim that it's a relationship? It boggles the mind.

So, tomorrow looks like it's happening. My potential SB has been late-night texting, we've had a couple of long phone calls and it looks like we'll be a great match. I'm psyched as I haven't been on anything resembling a date in many years. She is so excited she took the entire day off of work for our lunch meet. If it goes to the FC I will be prepared. But I have already avoided several pitfalls mainly because of your sage advice here, and I intend to contribute to this forum as I gain experience in the bowl. Wish me luck and I hope to report back with a successful meet and some awesome FC action.

SOL.