"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JZLizard]

Bear with me on this through the details, there's a valid question that's hard to present without reporting some of what went on.

Recently met a SB for our first encounter for dinner & drinks at a hotel restaurant and conveniently I had a room waiting in same building so after dinner it was off to the FC. We talked a little about minor fetishes or things we liked and had a couple more drinks in the room, and it wasn't long before I unfastened her pants, pulled them down around her knees and used the pants as leverage to hold her legs up, slid her panties aside and started giving her my absolute best oral effort.

Others have enjoyed my giving nature in the past but she was into it even more than most. Eventually all our clothes came off so positions changed, and she was still going on about how incredible the pussy eating was, so I kept this going for a VERY long time (inordinately long maybe), getting her off multiple times as she couldn't get enough. Then I get into a 69 position so that she can return some favors too. She does, but it was not with the fervor or enthusiasm one might expect, particularly after the extended performance and hard work she's been getting from my tongue and hands.

During sex, her daddy's girl fantasy started to show as she verbally encouraged her new daddy to do various things. During doggy, it felt instinctive to me to spank her beautiful bottom, as daddy's have been prone to do (at least this daddy). Based on everything else that had gone on, I expected some positive reaction to the spanking, but she didn't react and for some reason I almost got the feeling it was disrupting her idea of what the daddy's girl play should be about, as if she saw her self as the good girl getting some affection from daddy, not the naughty girl getting punished by daddy.

So my question is, for those of you that do this role playing (I'm normally not much of a role playing person but it seems some SB's are into it so it can be fun), is spanking not typically mixed with "daddy talk"? I had another experience once several years back where a non-SB situation let me to believe I need to be careful with introducing the "bad girl" or "naughty girl" idea into whatever fantasy they have going on in their mind. In that case, the girl literally cooed "nnoooooooooo, I'm a GOOD girl daddy" in a way that might have been trying to correct me.

Along the same lines, do you find these SBs really expect to spoiled in every sense? I'm talking about the inequity of her BJ effort versus how hard I worked to please her. Do your find your SBs to typically feel entitled to the princess treatment where you're basically paying to kiss their butt in the figurative sense? Or do you find it to be on a par with say typical girlfriend who is horny and into you sex? I came away from that encounter feeling like I was expected not only to provide dinner / room / allowance / great sex for our encounter but that the only thing she was on the hook for was being young and hot and being there for me to fuck.

[Jwredskins55]

Has anyone tried Fetlife.com ? There are a lot of Daddy and Princess / baby girl type profiles. Went to a party last night and met a 27 year old girl that started telling me she liked "age play" and she told me about the site. At 27 it seemed a little difficult to imagine her being my baby girl. Anyway I put up a profile. This site is not about money. It's a social networking site. Seems like a lot of work, but the site is free. Dating mostly 18 to 22 I get a lot of that on the SD site. Which is what I look for and really have no trouble finding.

Curious to see about doing it without money being the prime focus. Even though being a Daddy is about taking care of your girl in all areas. This site is mostly just focused on sex, but I do see some profiles talking about being compensated.

I've been a member of that for a while now. You are wasting your time honestly. You need to seriously be involved in the kink lifestyle in order to have any success. The easy ones are way way overweight and love using the term bbw. The hot ones are taken or are just posting pics for the attention. If you are looking for a bs I don't thing it's the right place IMHO. It will chew you up and spit you out.

[HollywoodGuy]

Has anyone tried Fetlife.com ? There are a lot of Daddy and Princess / baby girl type profiles. Went to a party last night and met a 27 year old girl that started telling me she liked "age play" and she told me about the site. At 27 it seemed a little difficult to imagine her being my baby girl. Anyway I put up a profile. This site is not about money. It's a social networking site. Seems like a lot of work, but the site is free. Dating mostly 18 to 22 I get a lot of that on the SD site. Which is what I look for and really have no trouble finding.

Curious to see about doing it without money being the prime focus. Even though being a Daddy is about taking care of your girl in all areas. This site is mostly just focused on sex, but I do see some profiles talking about being compensated.

[HollywoodGuy]

I'm guessing if your name indicates where you're located, you've probably got an insane amount of options available. Earlier in the thread I mentioned how different the girls can be from city to city. Some areas have girls that (in terms of attitude and intent) aren't really distinguishing in their mind between SB'ing and escorting. Every now and then they'll throw their phone number out in their first response and ask if I can meet them in the next hour or two. LOL.

At the other side of the spectrum, I've seen some that already have a good education and decent job, with no major financial problems, but they seem genuinely interested finding a financially successful boyfriend for a LTR, and/or they're attracted to older men.

It's a little tough for me because I've already got a GF, and I can't host here at my place, so trying to line them up in other areas I'll be traveling to, then adding hotel room to the cost of the overall deal is a challenge sometimes.

I agree that location and relationship status are big factors. My GF is an SB so that helps a lot. I don't civi date.

[JZLizard]

I only pay per visit and tell them its $ in my first message. Saves a lot of time, gets a a lot of rejects and also gives me more selection than I can ever get to and I bang once a day on average.

I'm guessing if your name indicates where you're located, you've probably got an insane amount of options available. Earlier in the thread I mentioned how different the girls can be from city to city. Some areas have girls that (in terms of attitude and intent) aren't really distinguishing in their mind between SB'ing and escorting. Every now and then they'll throw their phone number out in their first response and ask if I can meet them in the next hour or two. LOL.

At the other side of the spectrum, I've seen some that already have a good education and decent job, with no major financial problems, but they seem genuinely interested finding a financially successful boyfriend for a LTR, and/or they're attracted to older men.

It's a little tough for me because I've already got a GF, and I can't host here at my place, so trying to line them up in other areas I'll be traveling to, then adding hotel room to the cost of the overall deal is a challenge sometimes.

[HollywoodGuy]

Yes, I don't disagree at all, but if you read that quote of mine again, the part I wanted to emphasize is finding women that are your type. By that, I'm not just referring to the fact that some guys are going to be better players, some are more fit and / or attractive and / or wealthier than others. I mean try to find some similarity in the type of women you search for online to the type of women you would have dated 20 years ago, even if they are a couple of notches higher in looks than you would be able to successfully take home from a bar.

Just an example -- when hunting for free pussy, I rarely go for the Barbie doll blonde type, even when I was younger. If I go to a strip club, I almost never pursue that type of girl. It's not that I don't want to bang them, it's just not my thing. There's something lacking in the mutual chemistry between them and me. However show me a slim brunette with a little more exotic look, and its a different story.

So, the tactic I was trying to share is really more than just the "lower your standards, dude" speech. It's partially about keeping standards realistic, but also about aligning your SB selection to your real-world dating experience. Of course if someone has almost zero dating experience, has never even tried to perfect their game with women, doesn't take care of themselves, and doesn't choose their SB targets carefully they aren't going to have much success.

SB training or not, so far I have thus far I have not had one of them reject the idea of starting out with a per-visit allowance, but I never talk about that initially. I exchange e-mails / texts / phone for probably at least a week before I even get close to that topic. I have also had some not even respond to me at all, or just flake out within the first couple of e-mails (I assume they weren't that into me. LOL). But in the case of the latter, it was always someone who was outside my typical type anyway.

Find your type, find your niche, and you'll have success. These immediate demands for thousands per month unseen are a result of either aiming too high or just generally aiming off target.

I only pay per visit and tell them its $ in my first message. Saves a lot of time, gets a a lot of rejects and also gives me more selection than I can ever get to and I bang once a day on average.

[JZLizard]

RE: Jeez.

" the more game you have the more women are probably your type and therefore greater chance for success. ".

And therein lies the answer. Just as in Real life, some guys have "it" and others don't. However, it IS all about the Money guys.

Yes, I don't disagree at all, but if you read that quote of mine again, the part I wanted to emphasize is finding women that are your type. By that, I'm not just referring to the fact that some guys are going to be better players, some are more fit and / or attractive and / or wealthier than others. I mean try to find some similarity in the type of women you search for online to the type of women you would have dated 20 years ago, even if they are a couple of notches higher in looks than you would be able to successfully take home from a bar.

Just an example -- when hunting for free pussy, I rarely go for the Barbie doll blonde type, even when I was younger. If I go to a strip club, I almost never pursue that type of girl. It's not that I don't want to bang them, it's just not my thing. There's something lacking in the mutual chemistry between them and me. However show me a slim brunette with a little more exotic look, and its a different story.

So, the tactic I was trying to share is really more than just the "lower your standards, dude" speech. It's partially about keeping standards realistic, but also about aligning your SB selection to your real-world dating experience. Of course if someone has almost zero dating experience, has never even tried to perfect their game with women, doesn't take care of themselves, and doesn't choose their SB targets carefully they aren't going to have much success.

SB training or not, so far I have thus far I have not had one of them reject the idea of starting out with a per-visit allowance, but I never talk about that initially. I exchange e-mails / texts / phone for probably at least a week before I even get close to that topic. I have also had some not even respond to me at all, or just flake out within the first couple of e-mails (I assume they weren't that into me. LOL). But in the case of the latter, it was always someone who was outside my typical type anyway.

Find your type, find your niche, and you'll have success. These immediate demands for thousands per month unseen are a result of either aiming too high or just generally aiming off target.

[FredMoore]

RE: Jeez.

" the more game you have the more women are probably your type and therefore greater chance for success. ".

And therein lies the answer. Just as in Real life, some guys have "it" and others don't. However, it IS all about the Money guys. If you read the Blog on SA, which is mind numbing, you will learn where these girls get their instruction. They are told never to accept PTP because they are not to be treated like a low life Hooker. This is their mindset. I have never paid an allowance and always PTP without a blink from any of these girls. Money talks. It is all in the presentation to them to sell the idea that it to their advantage to PTP.

One suggestion: Blame the weekly payout on your finances and cash flow issues. " I wish I could pay monthly but my business works better with a weekly donation. It always works for me.

[AliasSM]

Thanks Revo and others that responded to my request. This is still a mystery, but I have eliminated the possibility of a few sources on my end and feel much better about the potential of any security threat on my end.

To answer some of the questions:

- I never use my Google voice to talk with her by phone. All of our interactions from the beginning have been strictly txt through Google voice.

- I use my own cell phone but keep it locked down at all times.

- My SO is definitely NOT involved. I know her very well and she would never be able to keep something like this to herself. She would have confronted me by now or at least left some indication through her mood changes that there is a major problem.

-I never use a shared PC or anything other than my locked-down cell phone to communicate with this SB.

- At first I thought maybe this SB was trying to blow me off and this might be an easy way to scare me off, but she has since come around and wants to meet again.

- None of my other SBs have received a message at this point.

- I do use my real first name with this SB. I know that is stupid on my part, but they usually find out anyway and I never felt the need to hide it with her. She claims that my name is not tied to my number on her cell phone, so that would eliminate the "someone saw her cell phone messages" theory. They supposedly called me by name when talking with her.

So still a mystery for both of us. I like her enough to not let this scare me off. I'll keep you posted after our next meeting if she agrees to keep the relationship going.

Thanks.

Alias.

Another angle. I have some experience with the industry that breaks into these types of applications. And I can tell you. It is probably not going to happen unless the person doing the breaking in is motivated to find you out. And that narrows it down to most likely your SO. Because she could not do it she would need to find someone who could and that would cost money and also be illegal. Doubt your SO did that.

Are you sure your wife would not take the roundabout route and call the SB instead of you? Maybe she is not ready to confront you and risk the marriage yet. Maybe she just wants this to go away?

Anyway. Lets look at a low tech possibility or two.

1. What happened to me the other day. Someone saw you two together and called her. Could be a friend of hers. Thats what happened to me. Someone saw me and my POT together at dinner called her boyfriend and he texted her. That was the end of our fun.

2. Your SB is fucking with you. Potential extortion? Unlikely but a possibility. Or maybe the person calling was referring to another one of her SDs and she thinks it is you?

Need more details. What was the caller I'd on the person who called her? That should be in her phone log. Should be easy to get. And don't tell me that she answered a call with a private number. Most of these SBs don't answer when they know who it is. LOL.

Revvo.

[JZLizard]

So my membership to my SB site ran out and I won't be renewing anytime soon. I am tired of these little young stupid girls who want so much money and don't expect to work for it. Here are some of the girls I have met / emailed and let me know if you are experiencing the same thing.

- They automatically want a minim of over a $1,000 per month.

- Some want 1 K-2 K a month and clearly state they won't do anything physical. I take it this is their first time doing this. I would hate to think men are actually ok with type of arrangement.

- Are inflexible about a monthly arrangement. Some how they feel like if they accept a per date agreement it some how makes them a prostitute. I guess going monthly some how is more respectable. I travel 2-3 weeks out of the month and a monthly arrangement won't work for me.

- The girl who replies to your initial email and then drops off the face of the earth.

This is my second time around and I think I am done for now. I am sure I'll be back because the little guy always wins in the end but damn, these girls better smarten up. Be safe out there.

I will share a tactic that is working pretty well for me so far: as you look through photos, picture yourself walking up to her at a bar under reasonable pickup conditions. Pretend for simplicity sake the SB scene we know today doesn't exist, and pretend she is in the bar doing what girls did in bars in the pre-Internet days, but assume she is the age and appearance you see in her photos. How do you think she would react? What are your chances? How far above in looks and below in age is she to you? Does she look (and seem from what little writing their may be from her online) like she's just a couple of notches above what you would normally be able to get a phone number, or does she appear in a completely other league from women you've dated?

Use the answers to those questions to guide the women you pick to make an offer, and your chances for success are greater. There is no magic point system or threshold I could provide, but use that as an overall guideline and it tends to lead to better results.

For example, sometimes I see a decent looking one that is actually a little below my normal dating standard, but I ask myself -- is she the type I usually date? If the answer is no, almost without fail I have no luck with her. Maybe she just stops responding or whatever. Sometimes I see a stunner that I really want and have poor success getting her to respond at all. But repeatedly, when I get that vibe that the girl is something like I normally date, only 15-20 years younger, then it seems like the idea of an arrangement quickly fills in that age gap. In other words, most of the ones I have good luck with, I would not necessarily have success with in a bar because I'm 2.5 decades older. But, because they have already conditioned their own mind to the idea of SB'ing, they're open for business.

So in additions to keeping standards reasonable, I think you have better success if you stay within the realm of women that are your type, albeit much younger. Of course, the more game you have the more women are probably your type and therefore greater chance for success.

[SunDrop]

Oh hell no! I pass them on by and say GOOD LUCK with getting that much! I no there are some men out there that can afford that much a month but I'm not paying that much when I can find it for less. If their asking that much they must think its lined in gold! One thing they forget every woman have one. And alot of them look just as good.

So my membership to my SB site ran out and I won't be renewing anytime soon. I am tired of these little young stupid girls who want so much money and don't expect to work for it. Here are some of the girls I have met / emailed and let me know if you are experiencing the same thing.

- They automatically want a minim of over a $1,000 per month.

- Some want 1 K-2 K a month and clearly state they won't do anything physical. I take it this is their first time doing this. I would hate to think men are actually ok with type of arrangement.

- Are inflexible about a monthly arrangement. Some how they feel like if they accept a per date agreement it some how makes them a prostitute. I guess going monthly some how is more respectable. I travel 2-3 weeks out of the month and a monthly arrangement won't work for me.

- The girl who replies to your initial email and then drops off the face of the earth.

This is my second time around and I think I am done for now. I am sure I'll be back because the little guy always wins in the end but damn, these girls better smarten up. Be safe out there.

[Ltnric]

So my membership to my SB site ran out and I won't be renewing anytime soon. I am tired of these little young stupid girls who want so much money and don't expect to work for it. Here are some of the girls I have met / emailed and let me know if you are experiencing the same thing.

- They automatically want a minim of over a $1,000 per month.

- Some want 1 K-2 K a month and clearly state they won't do anything physical. I take it this is their first time doing this. I would hate to think men are actually ok with type of arrangement.

- Are inflexible about a monthly arrangement. Some how they feel like if they accept a per date agreement it some how makes them a prostitute. I guess going monthly some how is more respectable. I travel 2-3 weeks out of the month and a monthly arrangement won't work for me.

- The girl who replies to your initial email and then drops off the face of the earth.

This is my second time around and I think I am done for now. I am sure I'll be back because the little guy always wins in the end but damn, these girls better smarten up. Be safe out there.

[FredMoore]

It is really hard to ever really know how many other men are involved with these babies. We just do our best and hope for the best. But even the most stable / normal ones have crazies around them.

Revvo.

My ATF #1 had another SD towards the end of our 1 1/2 yr run. He was a psycho possessive Daddy who thought she was exclusive to him. He had a PI follow her to ME! She spent the night with me at a Notel as we usually did. He got info on me and called the SO. A "fellow" SD ratted out his brother rat. That was low but don't discount a crazy EX, SO, or other SD in spoiling your plans.

[Revvo]

#3) Her BF / another SD wants to eliminate the competition. He had access to her phone, got your messages, and has a plan to chase you off by freaking her out. (and you).

It is really hard to ever really know how many other men are involved with these babies. We just do our best and hope for the best. But even the most stable / normal ones have crazies around them.

I have one now that is truly a dream. She has most of the things I am looking for sane, job, car own place, beautiful and sexy, and she likes me 9.5/9.5/10/9. But she has a ex boyfriend / stalker that is constantly bugging her. Not easy to get him detached from her. But she does seem to be pushing him away.

If not I may be the one detaching. LOL Not an easy decision.

Revvo.

[Beachesnole02]

#3) Her BF / another SD wants to eliminate the competition. He had access to her phone, got your messages, and has a plan to chase you off by freaking her out. (and you).

That was my thought too. BF, jealous one of the girls...her mama...but the leak was on her side, someone who knew her.