"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[John G Smith]

I want to start my post off by quoting the TV show The Wire:

'The thing is, you only got to fuck up once. Be a little slow, be a little late, just once. And how you ain't going to never be slow, never be late? You can't plan for no shit like this man, it's life. '

Well I finally was a little slow, a little late. Ironically just like AliasSM I left behind a potential damaging piece of evidence of my escapades.

My SO was cleaning my shorts and she found a hotel card (not a key) with the address and that had a room number written on it. It was actually left over from when I saw my Euro Baby many weeks ago. Most likely in the after-glow of that heavenly experience, I didn't properly clean out all my pockets of papers. So my SO discovered the card yesterday morning and confronted me on it. I denied, denied, denied. The card just had the hotel address and a room number written on there, but it didn't contain my name or have any date. It was a dangerous piece of circumstantial evidence, but it fell short of a "Smoking Gun" because it still couldn't place me at a time and place. The hotel itself was 30-40 miles away, so it wasn't exactly a place I could go easily on a lunch break or something (to her knowledge at least).

I simply I said I didn't recognize the card. I might have picked it up or been given it as a scratch piece of paper since the backside was blank. I denied any knowledge of the hotel and said I had a faint recognition of even having the card. When you get caught with evidence against you, THE FIRST 10. 15 MINUTES ARE CRITICAL! I acted calm but not dismissive either. I said I simply didn't remember getting the card and I could have even got it when I was with her out somewhere. I then suggested she do a google maps of the hotel. After that, I'm guessing that suggestion and my overall demeanor put her at ease. Her mood changed again to more upbeat. And then throughout the rest of the day she was actually in a very good mood and I was obviously careful not to ruin it. It hasn't been 24 hours so I don't know if I'm completely out of the woods, but after the first 10. 15 minutes, she never brought it up at all throughout the entire day. And she's the type of person who can't hide their emotions, so when she's mad / angry / disappointed, you'll know. As others have said, most SOs want to believe you. Denial will get you very very far but if you panic in that first 10. 15 minutes, the issue may not be pushed aside so easily.

Just like AliasSM, I've been seeing escorts and AMP girls off and on for close to a decade. I was never ever in serious danger of getting caught by SO. LEO was probably the biggest threat for exposure. But I've been in the Sugar World for just under 2 years and I finally had a very close call. I'd like to welcome new guys like John Handcock, but you should be warned as soon as you step into the sugar bowl, you've activated a hidden time bomb. The detonation time may be unknown, but it will go off at some point. That is certain. You just have to hope when it does, you just get hit with shrapnel or a non-lethal wound and it doesn't take off a limb or blow your head off. Meaning at some point, you're going to be a little slow and little late and you're going to leave some crucial evidence behind. It might be in the form of a hotel receipt, a condom, sugar phone, chat text, designer finger nail, a psycho SB, a STD from barebacking, and etc. There's so many moving parts that it's pretty much impossible to play this game for any length of time and not get scathed in some way or another.

Yes the sugar world has a bit of glitz and glamor of banging college hotties and young MILFs and having you're own personal stable. But before you jump in head first, you need to decide if you're married, are you willing to risk your marriage for this lifestyle? If you're in the sugar for more than 3-4 months, you have a 50% chance of exposure and / or suspicions by your SO. If you're in the game for more than a year, it goes up to damn near 90. Most of us are just happy if we can keep the suspicions low enough so the SO can look the other way. But one critical mistake can throw that out the window.

My point is Mr Handcock or any others new to the bowl, if you have a happy marriage that you don't want to tarnish, stay away from the bowl. This is a seductive but a very high risk activity. I think sometimes some of us vet members here need to do a better job of cautioning our new arrivals. The challenges aren't just in the pursuit of the SB pussy but also not destabilizing your home life in the process. If you have a home life that you want to preserve unscathed, think very long and hard before you decide to be a sugar daddy.

[AliasSM]

Thanks for the variety of responses. I think the best one for me, had I been quick enough to respond with it when originally accused, would have been the "found it near my desk at work and picked it up quickly because I didn't know where it came from". Unfortunately, I am now too far into the deny, deny, deny routine to back up and try something different at this point.

But I do appreciate the responses. I'll just have to see how this thing plays out. If she starts telling her friends and family about it today and asking their advice, I'm likely going down the divorce road in the long term. If she tries to keep it to herself and eventually stops bringing it up, I may still have an outside chance of survival.

Funny though, other than the initial embarrassment about getting caught and the obvious financial impact, I don't know which option I would be better off with. Losing her would not be the end if the world, but losing my current lifestyle would certainly take some adjustment. Wish me luck as I struggle to get through all of this.

You could say honey, I am really frustrated with the once a month sex. I considered having an affair, but just could never go through with it.

[HollywoodGuy]

Thanks guys for the responses, I see the picture a little more clearer now. Some info on me, I'm 60 years old, divorced for last 3years, and in fairly good health. I'm on no type of medication whatsoever and don't need the little blu pill. I'm located in WV and have a sugar allowance up to $1500 a month.

Now to pick your brains, what is the best way to go? Allowance or per visit. What is the minimum and maximum if per visit is decided on?

Since joining SD here are some of the request I have had. Had 2 22&24 from Columbus Ohio request allowance. Both had been SB before. One wanted $300 up front as a show of good faith and would send some dirty pics till we was able to meet. Had another from KEntucky ask for $150 before meeting to pay some bills. One from Pa who was an older lady wanted $300 at the meeting with guarantee straight to FC. She was also bring a GF to play. Pretty sure she was a pro, did Alot of research on her but couldn't find anything, could be utr. Also have seen several backpage girls with listings on there. One from pa-wv border who had previous SD that gave her $500 per visit. One from Va that got $1000 per visit zoning with $400-$600 shopping and all expense's paid for rental car, gas and hotel room.

All of these ladies are 150-300 miles away. Just had as writing this my first local girl contact me. 22 year old college student who has won several beauty pagents that wants an allowance.

So how does one determine their worth?

Start with $$ per visit till you get your game on. Then work your way down to $ a visit. Your good for 8 to 15 visits a month my man. Stay within 60 minutes drive time as much as possible unless you have some kind of driving fetish

[John HandCock]

Thanks guys for the responses, I see the picture a little more clearer now. Some info on me, I'm 60 years old, divorced for last 3years, and in fairly good health. I'm on no type of medication whatsoever and don't need the little blu pill. I'm located in WV and have a sugar allowance up to $1500 a month.

Now to pick your brains, what is the best way to go? Allowance or per visit. What is the minimum and maximum if per visit is decided on?

Since joining SD here are some of the request I have had. Had 2 22&24 from Columbus Ohio request allowance. Both had been SB before. One wanted $300 up front as a show of good faith and would send some dirty pics till we was able to meet. Had another from KEntucky ask for $150 before meeting to pay some bills. One from Pa who was an older lady wanted $300 at the meeting with guarantee straight to FC. She was also bring a GF to play. Pretty sure she was a pro, did Alot of research on her but couldn't find anything, could be utr. Also have seen several backpage girls with listings on there. One from pa-wv border who had previous SD that gave her $500 per visit. One from Va that got $1000 per visit zoning with $400-$600 shopping and all expense's paid for rental car, gas and hotel room.

All of these ladies are 150-300 miles away. Just had as writing this my first local girl contact me. 22 year old college student who has won several beauty pagents that wants an allowance.

So how does one determine their worth?

[Igor Mongorsky]

Well you all warned me and it finally happened. I've been playing in the sugar world for about 18 months now and prior to that for decades have been messing around with escorts and the massage parlor scene. If been a faithful reader of this forum for a long time and truly value the experience of the pros on this board.

I' been married for longer than many of you have been born, and all of this finally caught up with me this week. My SO found a condom in the washing machine after doing a batch of my laundry. Yes, it was a stupid mistake and I was totally negligent in leaving the evidence behind (it was at least a new one still in original wrapper) , but it is just me and her in the house and its hard to come up with a logical excuse as to how it got there.

Any assistance here would be appreciated. She is still talking to me, but just barely and is looking for a plausible explanation. She has no other reason to be suspicious, other than the usual tell-tale signs like late nights at work and an occasional business trip.

HELP!

You could say honey, I am really frustrated with the once a month sex. I considered having an affair, but just could never go through with it.

[Revvo]

Love the name.

First I would say read the entire thread. It will take some time but is very entertaining and educational. I honestly consider myself still a novice at this. I started in February.

I can tell you that for me. This is not like regular dating I am married anyway. And it is not like hiring a pro. Which I have never done. But I have heard and read many of the stories and know that is not for me. Just sayin to each his own.

But this adventure can be the ride of a lifetime. Women are out there to fuck. And many of them don't mind having a little financial help with it. This has been going on for centuries all around the world. There has to be something to it right?

I can tell you from personal experience that I have gotten more pussy in the last 5 months than my entire life. I am in my early 50's also. I am not sure I would date a woman without the money because it maintains a certain separation that keeps it from getting too serious. And that is the main attraction for me is the emotional involvement. Kind of a delicate balance there.

I spent half the day today fucking and holding and cuddling and getting a awesome massage from a 26 YO very cute sexy northern European MILF that has had only 5 men her entire life. She is so sweet she will do anything for me. The first time we had sex she cried. Not because she was sad but she said she always cries with her first time with a man. Try getting that from a pro.

When it was time to leave to go back to the real world neither one of us wanted to go.

This can be a wonderful experience.

By the way if you just want to "date" women and just fuck them. You can actually do that on match. Com. I have several divorced friends who get so much pussy just "dating" them a few times and going on to the next one. So that can be done. But I am older and married. So this suits me for now.

And try having to juggle half a dozen women at $200 a pop and they each want to see you at least once a week. And you will see how complicated it can get.

That is the downside. Not as easy as it seems. I will most likely cull two more this week.

A few thoughts from deep deep in the sugar bowl. Hell the fucking sugar is about the bury me. LOL.

Revvo

[HollywoodGuy]

Well you all warned me and it finally happened. I've been playing in the sugar world for about 18 months now and prior to that for decades have been messing around with escorts and the massage parlor scene. If been a faithful reader of this forum for a long time and truly value the experience of the pros on this board.

I' been married for longer than many of you have been born, and all of this finally caught up with me this week. My SO found a condom in the washing machine after doing a batch of my laundry. Yes, it was a stupid mistake and I was totally negligent in leaving the evidence behind (it was at least a new one still in original wrapper) , but it is just me and her in the house and its hard to come up with a logical excuse as to how it got there.

Any assistance here would be appreciated. She is still talking to me, but just barely and is looking for a plausible explanation. She has no other reason to be suspicious, other than the usual tell-tale signs like late nights at work and an occasional business trip.

HELP!

Do you guys still have sex? If not, it might be time for a heart to heart.

Or like lenny bruce used to say 'Never tell. Not if you love your wife. In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die. ' I didn't know what I was going to do."

I got caught many times when I was married. My excuse was always the same. If you aren't going to take care of me I, ll find someone who will. Sorry if this advice sucks.

[Revvo]

First thing you have to understand is your SO wants to believe you did nothing wrong. It is your job to help her through this.

Second is deny deny deny.

Tell her you saw it on your desk at work and stuck it in your pocket. Tell her you don't know where it came from. But whatever you do don't admit the truth.

And by all means do not tell her you were paying for pussy. That will duck you up.

Do not change your habits. And never give in until she catches you on top of the other chick. Most wives suspect something when their husband is cheating. But they let it slide or turn the other cheek. They do not want to lose their lifestyle.

Good luck.

Revvo

[BigTigger]

Well you all warned me and it finally happened. I've been playing in the sugar world for about 18 months now and prior to that for decades have been messing around with escorts and the massage parlor scene. If been a faithful reader of this forum for a long time and truly value the experience of the pros on this board.

I' been married for longer than many of you have been born, and all of this finally caught up with me this week. My SO found a condom in the washing machine after doing a batch of my laundry. Yes, it was a stupid mistake and I was totally negligent in leaving the evidence behind (it was at least a new one still in original wrapper) , but it is just me and her in the house and its hard to come up with a logical excuse as to how it got there.

Any assistance here would be appreciated. She is still talking to me, but just barely and is looking for a plausible explanation. She has no other reason to be suspicious, other than the usual tell-tale signs like late nights at work and an occasional business trip.

HELP!

1. Tell her you found it at work by your desk and being as you weren't sure who was playing the joke, put it in your pocket to save embarrassment.

2. Let her know you were planning to get your sperm tested for possible freezing and you needed the condom for that process. It's a take home test kit to test vitality and you were trying to be sneaky, because you didn't want her to think you were weird.

3. Tell her some teenage girl and her bf asked you to buy them for them because they were embarrassed. When you came out with the one, they were gone. You meant to throw it away, but got distracted because it was so hot outside.

4. Tell her you grabbed it when you were at the gym. It was in the locker you had and didn't realized it until you got in the car. You didn't want to leave it in the car as that would have looked suspicious.

5. Tell her there was a demonstration where a church group was yelling about the bible and abstinence and another group was protesting them saying protection and giving out condoms. You took one because you didn't want to be rude and you really didn't want to be talking with either group. But you felt you could at least support the group pushing protection. Completely forgot the condom was there.

5. Tell her a bunch of flying monkeys were throwing condoms at drivers when you pulled up to the stop light, you rolled your window down to see what the commotion was all about and this one fell in

[AliasSM]

Well you all warned me and it finally happened. I've been playing in the sugar world for about 18 months now and prior to that for decades have been messing around with escorts and the massage parlor scene. If been a faithful reader of this forum for a long time and truly value the experience of the pros on this board.

I' been married for longer than many of you have been born, and all of this finally caught up with me this week. My SO found a condom in the washing machine after doing a batch of my laundry. Yes, it was a stupid mistake and I was totally negligent in leaving the evidence behind (it was at least a new one still in original wrapper) , but it is just me and her in the house and its hard to come up with a logical excuse as to how it got there.

Any assistance here would be appreciated. She is still talking to me, but just barely and is looking for a plausible explanation. She has no other reason to be suspicious, other than the usual tell-tale signs like late nights at work and an occasional business trip.

HELP!

[HollywoodGuy]

Hi, new to this and since this forum seems to be the closest to me I have been following it. I"ve read a great many of the post and was so impressed with you gentlemen that I joined SD4M last week. WTF was I thinking, must have been with the little head because the big head would never had made that decision. Anyway I digress. What I'm having a hard time understanding is why not just date these ladies as if in a normal dating ritual? The only advantage that I see vs the pro is that you might get to spend more time per visit vs the pro"s set time standards. It seems to me if you have time to juggle any amount of women then why drop the sugar on them every time you meet. If you have that kind of money to drop most of these ladies would still be willing to date you knowing somewhere down the line that the boyfriend would get them something nice, or give them some extra $$ to play with. The only thing that comes to me is that it might take longer finding these ladies because from what I've experienced over the last week is if they smell any type of sugar they come out of the wood work. Another post will be forth coming as to what sort of sugar should one give out because some of the request that I have gotten would be considered highway robbery at gun point. So Why not just date and juggle them as opposed to being a daddy?

The true non pro SB scene is very nuanced. Hang around. It's well worth it at any age. And I could never date 10/10 teenagers off eharmony. Yet I have a waiting list I"ll never get to in the sugar world

[F Scott]

Hi, new to this and since this forum seems to be the closest to me I have been following it. I"ve read a great many of the post and was so impressed with you gentlemen that I joined SD4M last week. WTF was I thinking, must have been with the little head because the big head would never had made that decision. Anyway I digress. What I'm having a hard time understanding is why not just date these ladies as if in a normal dating ritual? The only advantage that I see vs the pro is that you might get to spend more time per visit vs the pro"s set time standards. It seems to me if you have time to juggle any amount of women then why drop the sugar on them every time you meet. If you have that kind of money to drop most of these ladies would still be willing to date you knowing somewhere down the line that the boyfriend would get them something nice, or give them some extra $$ to play with. The only thing that comes to me is that it might take longer finding these ladies because from what I've experienced over the last week is if they smell any type of sugar they come out of the wood work. Another post will be forth coming as to what sort of sugar should one give out because some of the request that I have gotten would be considered highway robbery at gun point. So Why not just date and juggle them as opposed to being a daddy?

Let me add my welcome to the clubhouse, John.

I think you will find us all willing to share. How old are you, and are you married? Not to pry by any means, but the essential aspect of the SD / SB equation is that it offers us older, married dudes access to women we would hardly have a chance with in real life. If you are a 30-something stud, you don't need this. If you are in your 50's, single or married, and happy banging women you meet at a bar who are your own age, you don't need this.

However, if you want to experience the Fountain of Youth, then keep on reading through the journal, but understand it is not as easy as calling up an escort and getting your nut, nor is it as unemotional and simple as that. I feel I can speak for most of my brothers here in saying that we strive for something richer, more complex and far more rewarding than trying to "beat the clock."

I'd be interested in hearing why you feel signing up for SD4Me was a mistake. What part of the country are you from? If you haven't realized this yet, this particular thread, though posted in Richmond, is national in scope. I myself am from the great mid-west.

Again, welcome,

Scott

[Igor Mongorsky]

Hi, new to this and since this forum seems to be the closest to me I have been following it. I"ve read a great many of the post and was so impressed with you gentlemen that I joined SD4M last week. WTF was I thinking, must have been with the little head because the big head would never had made that decision. Anyway I digress. What I'm having a hard time understanding is why not just date these ladies as if in a normal dating ritual? The only advantage that I see vs the pro is that you might get to spend more time per visit vs the pro"s set time standards. It seems to me if you have time to juggle any amount of women then why drop the sugar on them every time you meet. If you have that kind of money to drop most of these ladies would still be willing to date you knowing somewhere down the line that the boyfriend would get them something nice, or give them some extra $$ to play with. The only thing that comes to me is that it might take longer finding these ladies because from what I've experienced over the last week is if they smell any type of sugar they come out of the wood work. Another post will be forth coming as to what sort of sugar should one give out because some of the request that I have gotten would be considered highway robbery at gun point. So Why not just date and juggle them as opposed to being a daddy?

The answer is in the numbers. Sure, these women might be willing to "date" you, but how would you meet them? I don't know about you, but that little hottie waitress might be willing to date me in exchange for some help with her college tuition, but I can't just go ask her that. With these sites, you can M&G a hundred ladies and you are bound to find some that you have chemistry with. Once the chemistry is there, anything is possible. You might not even have to give sugar every time.

[Hernando]

It seems to me if you have time to juggle any amount of women then why drop the sugar on them every time you meet. If you have that kind of money to drop most of these ladies would still be willing to date you knowing somewhere down the line that the boyfriend would get them something nice, or give them some extra $$ to play with.

Welcome John!

The girls on SB sites are looking for money. So if you are not offering something in return for their bodies then you had better look like George Clooney or go to Match dot com.

Having said that sweeping statement, it isn't quite that simple. The girls are looking for other things like an experience, wining and dining, travels, validation that they are worthy of being loved, sex, to name a few. But without an offer of $$ you will not get any traction after the M&G. There are a few studs here who are attractive enough to keep some babies off the clock though .

[Dsprdo]

The only advantage that I see vs the pro is that you might get to spend more time per visit vs the pro"s set time standards.

Time is one part of the equation for sure, and the other is quality of the encounter itself. A pro is almost always only interested in getting it over with as quick as possible so that she can move on to her next encounter. Finding one that is actually into it and enjoys herself is hard to do, and usually means high end. My 25 yo tattoo baby enjoys sex as much or more than I do, and she certainly has more O's than I do. It's hard to find a pro that you can leave with her legs quivering to the point she has trouble standing up. A lot of us also enjoy some emotional attachment with the SB's that isn't there with a pro.