Massage Parlor Reports

**Bebop60** · 09-16-09 22:02

Saw the CL ad, "**FREE SAMPLE 4-hand massage** (appartment in chicago south)" and thought I might find a diamond in th rough. Found myself in the rough....

The phony pics suckered me in, the "therapists" were nothing to look at and they and the dumpy apartment on S 80th Ct. in Hickory Hills reeked of cigarette smoke as did I afterwards. Quoted me .7 door on the phone, tried to get .75 when I arrived, didn't get the sample 4-hand, and left very oily and disappointed. They are trying to pretend they are legit but have a sign on the bedroom wall that says "Don't touch therapist" and "Must stay covered or session will end early without refund". When have you seen a sign like that in a legit place? I didn't tip, the massage sucked and no extras were offered - she told me to keep my hands away from her.

Stay away, much too nasty.

**Paleface** · 09-16-09 17:12

Originally Posted by Amp Middleman

Hopefully this is ok to ask here. If not I apoligize in adv. Could anyone be so kind to let me know if there is any other non-paying Amp review sites that provide good reviews for the Chi. town area?? Pm would be greatly apreciated.

That's a good question. I have another one.

I've been wondering if there is a Chinese forum out there as well. If there is, with google translate (http://translate.google.com/translate_t#submit), we could easily listen in. I have no doubt they read this forum. If they have one too, we need to know.

So, here's another question to all of you: If a Chinese forum exists, how do we find it?

Any ideas?

**Paleface** · 09-16-09 17:01

Originally Posted by Brandonkelly

Decided to try Xindy on Archer near the end of August. Buzzed in and was greeted by a 30-something Chinese woman, decent body and average face. There were some other women in there that seemed really melancholy and not that attractive. Smelled a little like dogs in there but otherwise seemed pretty clean. I was the only person in the place, it was a Monday afternoon, bright sunny day just like it has been the past two weeks. Is this Chicago or Phoenix? Anyways.

First question she asked was this my first time: yes. I was asked to pay up front and since this was my first time in massage parlor period, I took only a half hour for $35. We proceeded to the massage room.

Once again it seemed to be very clean, smelled nice and was dimly lit but not dark. She cued the music and asked me to disrobe. Very fair with the time and used an egg timer to start the 30 minutes.

The massage was wonderful, very skilled hands and was totally worth it. Hands only slightly skimmed the inner thigh area but I got a good vibe and was fully aroused by the time the turn came, almost 20 minutes in.

It was a funny turn because I was completely ready to go and she did laugh. The whispered response was 'what you want'. I pointed to my mouth and made a head bobbing motion with my hand to communicate BJ. Interestingly I was told 'not yet' referring to first time customer. So I made the universal HJ symbol and was told .6. Didn't barter just said yes and she oiled up. Little bit of boob grabbing was allowed but she wouldn't move closer, said it wasn't allowed. Very, very skilled hands, didn't forget the boys and i was done in 5 or 6 minutes. Left a $20 tip to try and make a good impression.

We'll see what happens next time.

Massage rating 9/10
HJ 9/10
Attractiveness 6/10
Round ass, decent tits and a little around the waist

Do I understand you correctly? You paid $115 (35 + 60 + 20) for a 5 minute HJ?

That story must be all over Chinatown by now. You'll be welcome everywhere you go!

Before you go out again, please read the forum.

**Self Hi5** · 09-16-09 16:34

Originally Posted by Brandonkelly

Decided to try Xindy on Archer near the end of August. Buzzed in and was greeted by a 30-something Chinese woman, decent body and average face. There were some other women in there that seemed really melancholy and not that attractive. Smelled a little like dogs in there but otherwise seemed pretty clean. I was the only person in the place, it was a Monday afternoon, bright sunny day just like it has been the past two weeks. Is this Chicago or Phoenix? Anyways.

First question she asked was this my first time: yes. I was asked to pay up front and since this was my first time in massage parlor period, I took only a half hour for $35. We proceeded to the massage room.

Once again it seemed to be very clean, smelled nice and was dimly lit but not dark. She cued the music and asked me to disrobe. Very fair with the time and used an egg timer to start the 30 minutes.

The massage was wonderful, very skilled hands and was totally worth it. Hands only slightly skimmed the inner thigh area but I got a good vibe and was fully aroused by the time the turn came, almost 20 minutes in.

It was a funny turn because I was completely ready to go and she did laugh. The whispered response was 'what you want'. I pointed to my mouth and made a head bobbing motion with my hand to communicate BJ. Interestingly I was told 'not yet' referring to first time customer. So I made the universal HJ symbol and was told .6. Didn't barter just said yes and she oiled up. Little bit of boob grabbing was allowed but she wouldn't move closer, said it wasn't allowed. Very, very skilled hands, didn't forget the boys and i was done in 5 or 6 minutes. Left a $20 tip to try and make a good impression.

We'll see what happens next time.

Massage rating 9/10
HJ 9/10
Attractiveness 6/10
Round ass, decent tits and a little around the waist

.8 for a HJ is WAAAAAAAYYY Too Much!!! There has been a handful of reports lately that are tipping too much for standard services. Lets get back in line and quick, before we let the providers set AND expect higher tips. Anything over .4 for standard hr is too much, and to be honest, .4 is a bit high!!!

Please fellow hobbyist, stick to the pricing or the market gets out of line VERY FAST!!!!

**Amp Middleman** · 09-16-09 12:19

Hopefully this is ok to ask here. If not I apoligize in adv. Could anyone be so kind to let me know if there is any other non-paying Amp review sites that provide good reviews for the Chi. town area?? Pm would be greatly apreciated.

**SamaRy** · 09-16-09 12:15

Just thought i would ask... Does anyone know of anyplace in our area that does NuRu (or even settle for soapy) ?

This just looks so damn fun, i really want to try it... A friend just got back from CA and said it is in lots of higher end AMP's there...

Asked about it around here and got the Huh? look...

**Squat** · 09-16-09 11:45

Since I had a lunch appt in Chinatown on Cermak & Archer, I stopped by B & B for it was across the street. I also wanted to see if they've made any upgrades since my last visit over 2 years ago. There were 2 fat old ugly ducklings working at the time. I should've walked out to Senina's or New China, but was too lazy to move after a huge meal so I decided to spend 1/2 hour nap there. Nothing to write about, just the same shitty service in a shitty environment. I settled for HR for 30, and I know I can get more, but who'd want it anyways? I wonder how they can compete with New China, or Senina, Xindy, or even Ruby Spa. This place is actually worse than Elegant. Stay Away!

**HappyGardener** · 09-16-09 11:38

Originally Posted by Babycash

Most of the people on this web site work the have a 9 to 5 job sorry that I have no time to write a book.

"Most of the people" who contribute do so with the intention of giving and receiving information. Therefore "Most of the people", do so by writing literate reports that others can make sense of. One of Jacksons rules is to not write in a "chat room" style. Maybe you need to take a few more minutes and read the rules, or learn to actually do grammar and spell check before sending your reports.

**Cosmok** · 09-16-09 01:58

Recently visited Tropical as I was looking for something new. As is frequently the case when you go looking for greener pastures you rarely find them. Went by on a Friday at around 5pm and there was only 1 girl there. Her name was Anna. Chunky latina with C's but a little more girth than I like. (and I generally don't mind a little extra cushion for the pushin')

Anyway TS was okay. Into the room and get a so so 5 minute massage (had opted for 30minute massage to conserve cash). She then asks all the standard questions and we get to the negociations and as is always the case with LMP's she starts out really high. End up with Nude HR for.8 which for this girl was like Christmas coming early. Services were just okay will definitely not repeat.

However, this visit was not a total loss. This girl was very talkative and made a couple of interesting comments.

1. She mentioned that Tropical is owned by some Mexicans and they own 4 other places. Including caribbean plus 2 places on the south side she did not know which places.

2. LMP's charge the girls to work there AMP's do not. She mentioned that she worked over at Bella's for about 2 weeks and liked the fact that Sunny did not charge her to work there? This of course could be BS because why would she leave the AMP to go back to the LMP if the money was not as good. Of course once you meet this girl you'll wonder if any AMP would really recruit her.

3. The mexicans installed cameras in the waiting room for the lobby at Tropical to keep tabs on the girls. She said they never come by. Duhhhhhh but apparently that's the reason she rushed me a little.

**Brandonkelly** · 09-15-09 20:32

Decided to try Xindy on Archer near the end of August. Buzzed in and was greeted by a 30-something Chinese woman, decent body and average face. There were some other women in there that seemed really melancholy and not that attractive. Smelled a little like dogs in there but otherwise seemed pretty clean. I was the only person in the place, it was a Monday afternoon, bright sunny day just like it has been the past two weeks. Is this Chicago or Phoenix? Anyways.

First question she asked was this my first time: yes. I was asked to pay up front and since this was my first time in massage parlor period, I took only a half hour for $35. We proceeded to the massage room.

Once again it seemed to be very clean, smelled nice and was dimly lit but not dark. She cued the music and asked me to disrobe. Very fair with the time and used an egg timer to start the 30 minutes.

The massage was wonderful, very skilled hands and was totally worth it. Hands only slightly skimmed the inner thigh area but I got a good vibe and was fully aroused by the time the turn came, almost 20 minutes in.

It was a funny turn because I was completely ready to go and she did laugh. The whispered response was 'what you want'. I pointed to my mouth and made a head bobbing motion with my hand to communicate BJ. Interestingly I was told 'not yet' referring to first time customer. So I made the universal HJ symbol and was told .6. Didn't barter just said yes and she oiled up. Little bit of boob grabbing was allowed but she wouldn't move closer, said it wasn't allowed. Very, very skilled hands, didn't forget the boys and i was done in 5 or 6 minutes. Left a $20 tip to try and make a good impression.

We'll see what happens next time.

Massage rating 9/10
HJ 9/10
Attractiveness 6/10
Round ass, decent tits and a little around the waist

**Dynomutt** · 09-15-09 16:03

Went to that place that's rhymes with vagina. They have two new girls. I chose Belinda. She's 5'4", short, boyish haircut, decent face, c cup chest, okay bottom. The other girl looks similar, but Belinda looks a little better.

Terrible massage, only knew "yes and no" in 'Engrish.' Try doing the standard ending, but wouldn't/couldn't (language barrier, and apparently, no common sense) negotiate. She actually stop the massage, and started to teach me some Chinese! I know, you're thinking, "that's so nice of her." I wasn't. I was pissed! I feel, she was wasting precious massage time, and I think she should be trying to learn English. Hmmm. Now thinking back to the free chinese lesson, she could have taught me how to say, " Hi, don't talk to me. Just do massage, and hand release for .4, thank you."

I played along with her 'lesson', out of courtesy, but after awhile I just started nodding my head, like " i don't know what you are saying." When it came to negotiate, she had to go get somebody else, but the person she wanted to get, wasn't around. So she comes back in, tries speaking Chinese, and then goes out again. Then, do you know who she gets?? She goes and gets papasan! All the while, she's opening and closing the door, and my junk is out for every monger to see. I grab a towel from the clock stand, and cover up, then just start putting my clothes on, figuring I just TOFTT. Papasan comes in, and I'm like " this is kinda weird, just forget about it." He's like," no, I'll get another girl, you just pay her the tip." He gets Lisa, who is notoriously expensive, and not anything to look at. I've had her before, and hoped never again. When I saw her, I was like, " oh boy," sarcastically, or as from what Belinda taught me, "天啊！"

I'm tired of writing, and still really mad over the whole experience. Long story short, I'm out .6, if you know Lisa, you know how it was. I don't think I'm going there anymore.

P.S. Papasan said next massage is on him, but when I came down to get a card or something that guarantees me the free massage. Papasan is nowhere to be found, his assistant is there. Belinda and him, must be English study partners, because both of them only know the same two words.

P.S.S. Katey is back! Aw, she was my first. I don't think she could stop that ship from sinking, though.

**Captain Stiffy** · 09-15-09 15:59

Damnit, man! Babycash has no time for punctuation, grammar, or spelling! lol

**Babycash** · 09-15-09 12:58

Originally Posted by F Blaster

Are you tweeting your reports? I, for one, would like to read more than a sentence or two.

Most of the people on this web site work the have a 9 to 5 job sorry that I have no time to write a book.

**F Blaster** · 09-15-09 10:10

Are you tweeting your reports? I, for one, would like to read more than a sentence or two.

**Joey Jojo** · 09-15-09 06:14

Was in the area on Thursday and decided to stop in before work. Was taken to the room by Lisa. Appeared to be younger than the usually fare and a little thicker but not fat. I have never seen this girl there before so I don't know if she's new or not. Saw the new signs in the room, written in Chinese and English, stating therapy only. Massage was pretty lame until she hiked up her dress and climbed on the table to sit on my backside. Then she sat between my legs and did some teasing. Upon the flip, some more teasing and she let me go to town on her nice sized nipps. Also let my fingers do a little walking. At this point the full menu was offered for 1.00 and I accepted. Afterward she finished the massage and gave me a pretty good foot rub. Then she surprised the hell out of me by offering to clip my toenails. I said sure, why not. She also used the little emery board to smooth them over. She insisted on dressing me herself, including tying my shoes and putting on my hat and sunglasses. I offered her the .1 change from the door fee, but she refused and sent me on my way with a hug and a peck on the cheek.