The Raleigh area "Sugar Bowl" (SA, WYP, SD4 ME)

[TwoGemSin]

I've been having decent success using Seeking, and I wanted to give everyone some tips about what has worked for me, with the hope that it works for you. Everyone has a different way to use the site, so I'm not saying my way is the best. Now that the disclaimers are done, let's talk about what I've found to work thus far:

Golden Rule: Never Ever Ever send money before meeting. These women will talk to you, be nice and interested, and keep the con going for days just to get $20 or $50 from you. If you do get scammed, just know that if she spent 8 or more hours talking to you for that money then she's making lower than minimum wage haha.

Rule #1: Cast your net far and wide.

There are a lot of women on Seeking, but there are also a decent number of guys in each of their inboxes. There are a few tools to get noticed:

- Have at least one picture. Yes, there's a risk associated, but I've made profiles with both pictures and no pictures and I'm getting roughly 30% more responses with a single picture. If you don't want to use yours, find someone similar but communicate this to the women once she gets to know you better.

- Try to message women when they are currently online. This puts your message at the top of their inbox. I usually look to see if a woman is online, craft a message and send it. Then if she refreshes her page I send her a favorite. That gives you two separate cases to get her attention.

- Be unique and respectful in your messages. Guys, it's 2025 and there are things called ChatGPT, Gemini, and other AI tools. Just copy / paste their profile into it, and have it create an interesting introduction message for you based on her profile. If you're new to AI and there's interest, I could do a whole post about how to get the best output from using it. And on the respect, even the pros who post on both Seeking and Tryst want to hear something nice for once. You will be that one guy "who actually cares. " I've had so many responses saying "wow, you really put a lot of effort into this" when in truth I spent 5 minutes making a perfect response.

- Consider options outside of your comfort zone. Like most of you I have a type, but if those women aren't responding, try opening your horizons a bit more. You'd be surprised at the arrangements you can come up with when you give yourself more women to choose from. You'll also be less likely to overpay for the one chick who responded that is your type as the alternate option you chose is 80% of what you're looking for at 40% of the price.

Rule #2: Treat every conversation as if you will never meet them.

- I feel like I spend 50% of my time chatting with someone, only to find out we aren't compatible (money, availability, menu items) or she is a scammer / fake. If you try to date these women one at a time, you will end up losing precious time to get to actual arrangements. If you have some empathy like me, you can either let the women know that you're looking for one arrangement but are talking to multiple people to find it. Then if you really can't meet them because you found someone else (or in my case, I can't afford to see them all at once) you can say you're taken, but if things don't work out you'll reach out to see if they're available.

- Speaking of chatting, there are many ways to get to the end game, but if you're budget conscious like myself, here's what I do:

O Get her attention with the opening message.

O Say a few nice things in 2-3 messages.

O Ask them if they want to see if we're a good fit by texting instead of talking details on the site.

O Via text get all the details of costs, hosting, menu, etc.

O If her terms work, continue chatting to reach a date, and if not tell her it won't work.

- The last thing I'll say on opening messages is I always try to make the first few words very unique. That's because they can see those words before they even open the message. Saying "3 Reasons why I think. " or "I love your eyes, and I wish. " looks better than "Hey" or "Hi. ".

Rule #3: Newer members usually have more flexibility.

- Most, but not all women tend to develop their allowance rate and what they're comfortable with over time. When they are new to the site, they don't know how everything works, which can be advantageous in either getting a lower allowance or better items on the menu. The following things can improve your odds:

O Offering to meet in person to discuss terms. I find that once I meet them and they see I'm not crazy and they're interested that they are more lenient on their requirements.

O Having recent test results. Regardless of if you play with protection or not, having test results really calms down the concern women have with initially having sex with a guy. A vasectomy wouldn't hurt either, but again it depends on how you play and what you're looking for.

O Make the conversation sound like you want to focus on pleasuring them as well. That helps level the playing field and if they think they will get more than a few minutes of humping they are likely to work with your budget. Also, a lot of the women will delete their profile if they find exactly what they're looking for. No sharing yay!

I have a few that I'm working on currently, but they left the platform. I do have one that I spent time with who is still active that I will post once I get more time to write. Feel free to PM me with questions if I didn't cover something you wanted to know about.

Welp never mind found the perfect guide. I'll be back when I find some success.

[TwoGemSin]

From the looks of it it seems I'm choosing a bad time to want get into portion of the hobby. But ill ask anyway, is there any advice on which site to use and best practices.

I'm hoping to find a new spinner and this seems to give the best chance of that.

[Swimback]

They have to cater to women because. That's why men pay to be on there. The site is losing women users. Its skimp AF now. It used to be lit back in the day.

The next frontier is approaching over dating apps and socials. Yes it takes more leg work, but your offers don't need to be as large to impress girls on those. Hot girls on seeking are getting too crazy with their asks. They are also offering less for what you're paying. A lot more online / platonic only. More than a few expecting 1 k ppm. I was seeing a hot girl who just got back on because we had a 500 ppm agreement and now she is wanting a lot more. Somebody told on me last time I mentioned her so not saying who, but the really hot girl who has just reappeared in Raleigh is the one I'm talking about. Seniors can PM me about her if you deduce who it is.

[LolBoat]

Body type filter removed? I'm not paying a subscription to have hambeasts pawned off to me against my will. Girls probably complained but seeking is too stupid to understand that's not the paying demographic, we are. Not renewing this month. I'm starting to get over seeking lately. Have had some luck just shooting my shot on Instagram.

They have to cater to women because. That's why men pay to be on there. The site is losing women users. Its skimp AF now. It used to be lit back in the day.

[Usmc0819]

Agreed. Huge time waster. 0/10.

Her message to me in Northern Virginia: Hey youu!! I'm all about skipping the small talk and getting to the good stuff. If you're into real, fun vibes with a little spice, add me on Snap: SloanMartin25 Let's see if you can keep up. 😉128293;.

Not interested.

[LikesGirls]

Has anyone seen her in the last week or two? She hasn't replied to my texts again. I did see her a few weeks ago and it went well as usual but radio silence since then.

[Swimback]

For a counterpoint, I've sent literal pictures of my driver's license - license # covered - to maybe 30 girls in the past few years, and it's never bitten me on the ass. Giving them something with your name, picture, and the address you're asking them to visit that they can share with a friend will assuage a lot of fears that might otherwise end in being ghosted. It's hard to overstate how prevalent the concern about being murdered is, especially in a generation that consumes so much "true crime" media.

Unless you're married, what do you have to lose? The biggest part of it is your address, and they've already got that because they're meeting you there. Unless you use hotels, I guess, but damn does that seem boring.

I get the feeling I use these sites different from a lot of you, though. It can be an escort site, true, but it can also be something less formalized, and the real fun is in the latter.

I eventually give PII with trust, but not out the gate. I hear you on the murder point but it's a very cold world in this field. Trust is earned, not given. If they wanted honest safe work they should stick to a day job. I use hotels. Nothing to lose except the nice life I've built myself. New NC laws are very strict now, you're done for now whereas it wasn't too bad before.

[jobobtheclown]

Walk away from PII requests. It's so they have you by the balls if things go south. A mutually assured blackmail destruction. Every meet I've ever had in my years of doing this never needed PII. The one and only time I gave PII I was immediately threatened to have my identity shared doxxed. Thankfully I avoided it by just ignoring the person but I'm never putting myself in that position again.

For a counterpoint, I've sent literal pictures of my driver's license - license # covered - to maybe 30 girls in the past few years, and it's never bitten me on the ass. Giving them something with your name, picture, and the address you're asking them to visit that they can share with a friend will assuage a lot of fears that might otherwise end in being ghosted. It's hard to overstate how prevalent the concern about being murdered is, especially in a generation that consumes so much "true crime" media.

Unless you're married, what do you have to lose? The biggest part of it is your address, and they've already got that because they're meeting you there. Unless you use hotels, I guess, but damn does that seem boring.

I get the feeling I use these sites different from a lot of you, though. It can be an escort site, true, but it can also be something less formalized, and the real fun is in the latter.

[Swimback]

The 6 to 8 comp is good advice, appreciate it!

Unrelated, I was trying to line up a date with a girl (who was gun ho initially) then as we got closer she started asking if I had FB or could verify with my license. This pretty much kills the deal for me but wanted to see if this is a common ask and if people actually share that info? I get it's risky for them but they're the ones being compensated whereas I think sharing personal information is an even higher risk (I know some of us have more to lose than others from a personal standpoint).

Walk away from PII requests. It's so they have you by the balls if things go south. A mutually assured blackmail destruction. Every meet I've ever had in my years of doing this never needed PII. The one and only time I gave PII I was immediately threatened to have my identity shared doxxed. Thankfully I avoided it by just ignoring the person but I'm never putting myself in that position again.

[BeltWayGuy]

One of my old reviews being referenced, I'm flattered. Yes she's former listcrawler girl and my sleuthing skills found multiple H use arrests. Bad recipe. My best advice to everyone is to find a girl who likes to fuck, and not one begrudgingly servicing because they need the money. An enthusiastic 6 is better than a "let's get this over with" 8.

The 6 to 8 comp is good advice, appreciate it!

Unrelated, I was trying to line up a date with a girl (who was gun ho initially) then as we got closer she started asking if I had FB or could verify with my license. This pretty much kills the deal for me but wanted to see if this is a common ask and if people actually share that info? I get it's risky for them but they're the ones being compensated whereas I think sharing personal information is an even higher risk (I know some of us have more to lose than others from a personal standpoint).

[Swimback]

Search by name in this thread, and then search by the last piece of the user ID in the full-forum search (far upper right). In this case, for example, "56640f1fae9d". That will pick up anyone who's linked to her, even if she's moved between towns. It won't catch her on other sites or previous profiles, of course, which is why the name search is still a good idea (assuming she kept that the same).

One of my old reviews being referenced, I'm flattered. Yes she's former listcrawler girl and my sleuthing skills found multiple H use arrests. Bad recipe. My best advice to everyone is to find a girl who likes to fuck, and not one begrudgingly servicing because they need the money. An enthusiastic 6 is better than a "let's get this over with" 8.

[NeedToSearch2]

Thanks for the tips fellas. Should have known better. Oh well. Easy come easy go. Lost like 5 $ on her. Worthless.

Search by name in this thread, and then search by the last piece of the user ID in the full-forum search (far upper right). In this case, for example, "56640f1fae9d". That will pick up anyone who's linked to her, even if she's moved between towns. It won't catch her on other sites or previous profiles, of course, which is why the name search is still a good idea (assuming she kept that the same).

[jobobtheclown]

Search before every sb dream. This one has pretty damning report from seniors for me. Search for Jade in the thread. Had a close call.

Search by name in this thread, and then search by the last piece of the user ID in the full-forum search (far upper right). In this case, for example, "56640f1fae9d". That will pick up anyone who's linked to her, even if she's moved between towns. It won't catch her on other sites or previous profiles, of course, which is why the name search is still a good idea (assuming she kept that the same).

[Member #7183]

Jade - 24.

Talked for a bit, kept asking for money before meeting. I sent since she was legit on snap. Got that banned, but finally saw her. Don't recommend. High maintenance. Extended stay location. GPS. Covered everything. Pillow princess. Bad attitude.

More of a nightmare than a dream.

https://members.seeking.com/member/8...7-56640f1fae9d

Search before every sb dream. This one has pretty damning report from seniors for me. Search for Jade in the thread. Had a close call.

[NeedToSearch2]

Jade - 24.

Talked for a bit, kept asking for money before meeting. I sent since she was legit on snap. Got that banned, but finally saw her. Don't recommend. High maintenance. Extended stay location. GPS. Covered everything. Pillow princess. Bad attitude.

More of a nightmare than a dream.

https://members.seeking.com/member/8...7-56640f1fae9d