Should we stop mongering? How?

[Jug145]

I am trying to stop completely. I often find myself riding around OBT just to "kill time" maybe in reality I'm looking for that one special girl that will break my abstinence. Also found myself paying girls just to talk to me or up until recently have stopped going to strip clubs. I want to stop but the urge is so strong. I recently also deleted any and all girls I was paying but now k just feel so lonely. It's like I knew damn these girls don't like me they just want money and I kinda power trip over being able to get them to talk to me with it. I stopped going thru with getting bbbjs because someone gave me a special surprise that the doctor had to take away and I just have been to scared to do it again to be honest. Maybe for me the risk of going thru with it then worrying if I have something is just not worth it to me. Even tho I know from experience or maybe I was just lucky I've been doing this for years and never got anything. For me the risk is to great. Not to mention I feel like a loser when I do it. Also I tried some SAA meetings and that doesn’t really help me. Maybe I make a few friends but I always end up “relapsing “. I guess I’m not so sure it’s an addiction like alchohol or something drugs maybe. To me I don’t see it as the same. But hey maybe it is. Maybe I will give it a shot again cause my self esteem is so low.

[Midnightpass]

Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about today's relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.

I remember thinking "I'm just not miserable enough to leave." If you ever catch yourself saying that, you are. Believe me.

38 years of marriage, 42 together and when we split up 6 years ago, I have yet to shed a tear. And we had it good, too.

[Bjceb]

I don't pretend to be able to give any one advice without knowing the impossible answer that only you really know. Your situation as every other persons situation is different.

I can't pretend to think that sex is the only driver of a 30 year relationship. So many things come into play.

I will tell you if you plan to leave consult an attorney. If you plan to stay possibly go to counseling or create a plan for what you can live with for your own personal needs going forward that will work. Unfortunately living in the us we all have the same struggles in relationships.

You would think 3 decades of marriage means something to a girl but it doesn't, if anything she should be more in love with you based on the time why'all spent with each other. But sadly, that's how things work, attraction falls off and so does interest. And holding 3 decades of things that tie you together isn't worth keeping if she doesn't want to honor the literal most fundamental point of being in an exclusive relationship which is sex with your partner. Other than that I don't see the point in being in a relationship unless you want to have kids with someone. And even then its not worth it. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's making you provide for all her securities and benefits, and in return you get nothing out of it. She's manipulating you and the only reason your holding on to this relationship is because of some fond memories why'all made together which mean nothing now. Because I'm willing to bet a women that is not interested in sex with you anymore is probably also disrespecting you and starting fights with you as well. Which to me means she doesn't think highly of you. I would definitely say dip out now, so you can save face and be the one that leaves vs her and that way you can start all over again without dealing with a heavy loss. But make sure you have your financial situation in order during the split and things lined up. Otherwise if she decides to divorce you first out of no where, you will be the one in trouble. If there's no kids involved, its easier to do, if not I would still push for it, because its the last card you can play. Trust me, I know so many guys in your situation, and it always ends badly for them.

[Blazingblue]

Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about todays relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.

You would think 3 decades of marriage means something to a girl but it doesn't, if anything she should be more in love with you based on the time why'all spent with each other. But sadly, that's how things work, attraction falls off and so does interest. And holding 3 decades of things that tie you together isn't worth keeping if she doesn't want to honor the literal most fundamental point of being in an exclusive relationship which is sex with your partner. Other than that I don't see the point in being in a relationship unless you want to have kids with someone. And even then its not worth it. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's making you provide for all her securities and benefits, and in return you get nothing out of it. She's manipulating you and the only reason your holding on to this relationship is because of some fond memories why'all made together which mean nothing now. Because I'm willing to bet a women that is not interested in sex with you anymore is probably also disrespecting you and starting fights with you as well. Which to me means she doesn't think highly of you. I would definitely say dip out now, so you can save face and be the one that leaves vs her and that way you can start all over again without dealing with a heavy loss. But make sure you have your financial situation in order during the split and things lined up. Otherwise if she decides to divorce you first out of no where, you will be the one in trouble. If there's no kids involved, its easier to do, if not I would still push for it, because its the last card you can play. Trust me, I know so many guys in your situation, and it always ends badly for them.

[IrwinFletcher1]

There are plenty of 60 yr old women that are horny don't make excuses for her. Why does she get excited about other things, but no longer gets excited about you? Also you make a great point, why be with someone getting older whose just going to get worse with age and give you zero sex, when you can be with someone younger who is willing to have sex with you 5-6 times a day. Its a no brainer man. Do yourself a solid and bounce. Unless she's the breadwinner, You did way too much as a man in the relationship, to be dealt that hand.

Thanks for the advice. I have contemplated that way. But I have over 3 decades invested with us. It cuts both ways in the vows. But again why am I saying vows when I'm dipping out. There's a lot more involved in all this. Responsibilities in the marriage. What I know is there is no easy answer. And you're right about todays relationships, don't get married. They only want what you can provide them. Thank you.

[Blazingblue]

While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.

There are plenty of 60 yr old women that are horny don't make excuses for her. Why does she get excited about other things, but no longer gets excited about you? Also you make a great point, why be with someone getting older whose just going to get worse with age and give you zero sex, when you can be with someone younger who is willing to have sex with you 5-6 times a day. Its a no brainer man. Do yourself a solid and bounce. Unless she's the breadwinner, You did way too much as a man in the relationship, to be dealt that hand.

[Blazingblue]

While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.

You are better off getting a divorce and be a bachelor. If you aren't getting any sex out of it, you might as well dump the broad and not have to worry about sneaking around anymore. It'll save you a lot of money, and on top of that less headache. Hell if you tell her you want to divorce her for not having sex with you and sticking to those vows you had at marriage, that actually might make her wet. You got to have a backbone and tell her you won't tolerate it anymore, otherwise you will be looked at the bad guy if you ever get frustrated in the relationship. Word of advice man, just do it, guys are better off not marrying in 2025, since we all know these hoes ain't loyal not even in the bedroom.

[AznWenis]

Do you guys think the girls who work the AMPs like Milk, MY, Tokyo, etc are trafficked? As in working against their free will?

It doesn't seem like they are to me but idk for sure. I think it's a tough gig with the hours they work and amount of guys they see, but the girls seem to know what they're in for and are okay with it because they make a lot of money.

In the past I have also had girls tell me during lean times (like the Milk bust or when the new FL laws passed) that girls didn't want to come here and work because of LEO. Which would imply that they have a choice about it.

Curious to know everyone's thoughts though. PM is fine too if you're more comfortable that way.

I talk to all the ones I see and they do this by choice and can come and go as they please. No one is forcing them.

[StyleNProfile]

Do you guys think the girls who work the AMPs like Milk, MY, Tokyo, etc are trafficked? As in working against their free will?

It doesn't seem like they are to me but idk for sure. I think it's a tough gig with the hours they work and amount of guys they see, but the girls seem to know what they're in for and are okay with it because they make a lot of money.

In the past I have also had girls tell me during lean times (like the Milk bust or when the new FL laws passed) that girls didn't want to come here and work because of LEO. Which would imply that they have a choice about it.

Curious to know everyone's thoughts though. PM is fine too if you're more comfortable that way.

[IrwinFletcher1]

If your SO isn't interested in giving you sex anymore in the bedroom, even after you've made it apparent your interested in a lot of sex, they are selfish. They want to be in an exclusive relationship with you and not let you have sex with anyone else, but don't want to give you sex either is pretty psychologically manipulative. The purpose of being in an exclusive relationship is so that you don't have to turn to other people for sex. Otherwise you can just be friends. There no different than your homies LOL. That lack of interest is a sign that they aren't attracted to you and you should bounce LOL, and find someone that is willing to drop their panties for you.

While I agree with you on some of this. It also has to do with the SO age. Women go through the change and it makes their lives miserable as well as ours. And that change can last for many years. I've tried to help in the past and that went over like a brick to the head. Soooo here I am. We will see what plays out. From reading all of this I'm sure most guys on here know what I'm and she are going through.

[Blazingblue]

WOW!! I didn't know there were people going through what I'm going through. My SO is my best friend and has been for decades! But the lack of sex in the bedroom Has put me here. It's maybe two positions and that's all. I to started with just L1 and slowly creeped to L2 and felt horrible!! But I'm always chasing the pussy with my SO ad I'm tired of it. I've talked with her about it but nothing happens. Then I started L3 and so on and just like you guys I kinda like the variety. At the same time I'm thinking bro!! You're crazy!! All of what you have could vanish if you get caught!! You really want to start over at your age?? Not sure what to do. I've always said this is it I'm out!! But come right back again in a few weeks. Pussy is strong my brothers. It's the driving force.

If your SO isn't interested in giving you sex anymore in the bedroom, even after you've made it apparent your interested in a lot of sex, they are selfish. They want to be in an exclusive relationship with you and not let you have sex with anyone else, but don't want to give you sex either is pretty psychologically manipulative. The purpose of being in an exclusive relationship is so that you don't have to turn to other people for sex. Otherwise you can just be friends. There no different than your homies LOL. That lack of interest is a sign that they aren't attracted to you and you should bounce LOL, and find someone that is willing to drop their panties for you.

[Hawkeye49]

Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.

I've been doing this since 2005.maybe it's my age now. But I'm finding myself more and more of thinking of just hanging it up. I know my bank account would love it. Plus I owe it to my SO. Maybe she's doing the same and I'm just oblivious? I've found myself in not so good situations and have been able to tip toe away and have had some experiences that even porn movies couldn't come close to it. Ok that one was a stretch, but I think I would've won an award. Don't have an answer for all this.

I've been at this since 2004 and from my own experience it has been very difficult for me to just age out of the hobby or slowly stop doing what I'm doing. At this point it takes a support group to help and I tried that for a year but got tired of hearing the same old stories and decided to bow out of the group. I've been able to convince myself that being 71 with a very active drive I might as well use it since I'm in the last 1/4 of my life and what do I have to lose at this point. I wish I could stop but unfortunately my needs are too strong to let go.

[IrwinFletcher1]

Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.

I've been doing this since 2005.maybe it's my age now. But I'm finding myself more and more of thinking of just hanging it up. I know my bank account would love it. Plus I owe it to my SO. Maybe she's doing the same and I'm just oblivious? I've found myself in not so good situations and have been able to tip toe away and have had some experiences that even porn movies couldn't come close to it. Ok that one was a stretch, but I think I would've won an award. Don't have an answer for all this.

[Plzd269]

Crazy how this has come up. I was thinking the same thing a few days ago. I've been in this for 20 years. It's easy to go hog wild with all these chicks that are available. But at the end of the day you're bank account is drained and you're still alone with or without a SO that doesn't want or do what you want. I've stopped for a few months but find myself driving to one of my regulars and banging the hell out of her and driving off day WTF man. But also, flip the coin, can these girls ever stop and stay with just one guy? I'm sure many have just like us. But I'm thinking more have not and can just like us. Thanks for this thread.

Fletch.

Just like every other vice in my life, I'm slowly aging out of the hobby for many reasons. I was 17 years old in 1981 when I first became intrigued with the hobby. Since those days I've seen alot good, bad, and indifferent. During my active years, I had less than a hand full of encounters that could have ended badly in terms of LEO or an unstable individual. As an older guy I'm smart enough to realize new vulnerabilities could become a disadvantage. I'm much more selective and patient these days.

[IrwinFletcher1]

Sounds like you got a good setup with your friend.

The only concern I would have for you is that in my experience women have a harder time separating emotions and tend to eventually need more than your current setup. That is when things get screwed up.

Hopefully this doesn't happen to you.

WOW!! I didn't know there were people going through what I'm going through. My SO is my best friend and has been for decades! But the lack of sex in the bedroom Has put me here. It's maybe two positions and that's all. I to started with just L1 and slowly creeped to L2 and felt horrible!! But I'm always chasing the pussy with my SO ad I'm tired of it. I've talked with her about it but nothing happens. Then I started L3 and so on and just like you guys I kinda like the variety. At the same time I'm thinking bro!! You're crazy!! All of what you have could vanish if you get caught!! You really want to start over at your age?? Not sure what to do. I've always said this is it I'm out!! But come right back again in a few weeks. Pussy is strong my brothers. It's the driving force.