Massage Parlor Reports

[Mitsom]

Got a double team at 819. Now I know some of you have been complaining about reviews that are too detailed and lengthy. But I like them. So if you don't just skip to the end.

It was a chilly and rainy Friday night. I had just fought my boss and traffic to make it back into the city in one piece. The melancholy hung in the air like so many rain drops on my drivers side window. I Knew I needed a release. Haha. Just kidding. I'll try to make it short and sweet.

Popped into 819 Friday night hoping to get one of the E cup girls they've been promoting on X. Greeted at the door by Coco. Definitely looks nothing like the pics. When she told me she was coco (Coco and Eli are the ones they say are E cup) I appraised the chest which didn't look E. Then felt her up (she was wearing kind of frumpy clothes) and they definitely didn't feel E. But I said what the heck and went for it thinking maybe they're pop outs. She's kinda plain looking and I would describe her as pudgy. Not shapely at all. Again nothing like the pics on X.

Get to the room and I ask for Eli. Coco doesn't understand. So Monica comes in and says no Eli. Alright well I'm there so WTF. I hand her $200 and start taking my clothes off. That's when she said with a smile 2 girl for $100 more. I confirm $300 and went with it. Monica comes back in. She was definitely the general sometimes telling Coco what to do in Chinese or whatever since she understands some English. Monicas description is well reviewed. I described Coco so only thing to add is I would say her boobs are floppy C's. Nowhere near E.

Despite Cocos average looks she was fun and kinda cute in a way. Monica is more sultry / milfy. Monica definitely has the bigger boobs. Started with Monica BBBJ kinda sloppy like she does while Coco got her butt spanked lightly while she licked my nips. Then I had them switch (alcohol douse in between). Coco couldn't really take it very deep so I palmed her head and just pumped her mouth with the head pretty fast. To her credit she kept it up for a few minutes while I sucked on Monicas boobs and she licked and sucked my chest. Then I banged them both in Mish and cowgirl and Monica once doggie. Each time in between new condom which was fine. Wound up blowing in the bag with Monica riding me and Coco playing with the jewels. They didn't really interact that much with each other, but also were very comfortable playing together with me if that makes sense. All in all it was a hell of a lot of fun. Took me a little while to catch my breath after that one LOL.

[RubLuvr]

I don't know what's worse, your experience or that your post is one continuous run-on sentence.

It was a spectacular literary device to convey the rush, confusion and chaos of the visit. Very well done I thought.

[Slam2505]

Run to see her. So I been going to orange the last few weeks to she these Hispanic girl can't afford a flight to South America yet. The last girl was good and told me this new girl Valeria was her friend. Another guy reviewed her and the photo is her. Her ass is huge wanted to put my face all in it. Titis are ok kind of a bad job on those. Her personality is amazing speaking Spanish helps. Her other friend is coming the next round. Four of them plan on coming to Chicago to visit in April she gave me her what's app to send her places and air Bnb. I'm going to stop by again tomorrow. Going to try to set up something with all four of them when they come just to see the city be the tour guide.

Dm if you want to know more for 140 get BJ you can rub her pussy and get a finger in the ass I was in it and after a good few minutes moved my hand away.

[Eddinger]

I don't know what's worse, your experience or that your post is one continuous run-on sentence.

Probably it's got to be your only having made 2 contributions to the forum before this boring burn that's worse.

[OF Charlie]

On scale 1-10. How attractive are Eli and Angelas faces? Sure they have huge tits. But are they good looking? Mood is striking but I don't want just huge tits. And the orange line up is well. Not going there in a minute.

Looks are very subjective. Someone's 10 might be your 7 or vice versa.

Fwiw, I would say Eli is about 8.5 and Angela is 8. Eli is more of a seductress while Angela is more of gnd type. Just my personal opinion, so no need to bash me if you don't find my ratings accurate. As always, you are free to walk out if you don't find either of them attractive.

[Bambinos1987]

On scale 1-10. How attractive are Eli and Angelas faces? Sure they have huge tits. But are they good looking? Mood is striking but I don't want just huge tits. And the orange line up is well. Not going there in a minute.

[Billy73]

Decided to toss the towel in at work put on some traveling clothes and jumped on the Orange Line with no specific spa in Mind then looked at the Forum through the loop and when I got to Roosevelt made up my mind I was going to Kedzie Spa today.

Got off at the Orange Line Kedzie Stop jumped on the 52 bus (about 7 -10 stops) bus literally drops you off right across the street from the place. Rang the bell and was greeted by Anisha (she typed her name into my phone) who claimed to speak no English but when I called the woman who answered the phone spoke perfect English. Anywho asked to use the restroom which was flooded and the shower was a mess but the rest of the place what welcoming and clean for the most part.

We settled originally on $140' for 30 min visit then after me jumping my big ass up and down on her for 15 of those minutes she up sold me for $40 for BBBJCIM which was awesome and she took it all in Fucking Amazing.

Looks 6/10.

Body 7/10.

Performance 9/10.

Would repeat if ever in that area again but overall worth the visit and their exterior camera system is on point -.

[TheSeeker717]

Absolutely awful experience at Orange. Arrived and they were busy so I was seated behind the screen until lulu was free. Then taken to the room by lulu. She was hot. Paid 300 $. Got undressed and taken to table shower. Everything was fine so far, and the shower was ok, but then one of the other girls came in nude and they were talking to each other and this seemed ok for a bit and I got to put my hands on her too, and then lulu started blowing me and then another of the girls came in and started washing her pussy and then some dude in a towel started to come in, and then stopped but just stood there while I was getting blown and there were two other girls in there and then lulu stopped blowing me and started yelling at the other girl and then they kind of all left and then I got a super hurried shower ending and we rushed back to the room. Massage was rushed and she kept having to talk to people through the door loudly, and then while she was blowing me again the door opened and some guy walked in and put down some boxes in the room and then the door was just open and another dude walked by and then lulu climbed on and was riding me while another old guy came in and they just started talking and she was riding me and they were arguing about something and this was just fucking insane and I hated it and then he finally left and then I flipped her over and was trying to plow her from behind and the mamasan came in to talk to her and I finally just was like fuck it and fucked her so hard so I could finish while she was arguing with the mama and then she finally left and I cleaned up and got out of there and jeez I will prob take a break from orange which had been wonderful for a while but was just utter chaos. It sucked.

I don't know what's worse, your experience or that your post is one continuous run-on sentence.

[Eddinger]

It really sucked. I was thinking the whole time, "WTF is going on?

It just never ended. Plenty of times I've had other women working come into the room to get something I've been in or to shower or whatever and chat and that's always fine and kind of hot and sometimes they fuck around too if you're a regular or whatever. But this was like supply dudes, or other old men involved in the operation and then the mamasan and the arguing and shit was just stupid. Let the girl fuck me in peace! It was no great and I won't be back, which is too bad because I really liked it for a while but they are struggling with the crowds they are getting I guess and can't get their head around figuring out how to make it not feel gross for me.

Holy Moly. This is the best stream of consciousness report ever. Like you were vomiting the whole experience into the phone all at once. Hall of Fame report.

[Fit312]

Was excited to read the recent post about Moon Spa which was one of my first go to Spas besides Relax Spa on Cermak.

He was talking about the place on Montrose, not the one on Canal.

[SpaGuy21]

Absolutely awful experience at Orange. Paid 300 $. It sucked.

As funny as your post is, the sad part is you paid 3 benjy's to be part of that sh** show. To me it sounds like they showed no respect to the fact that you paid for "VIP". More proof that "VIP" is pretty standard for getting ripped off or Very Inflated Pricing. And you didn't even get slimed by some nuru gel, hahaha!

[Ronacin]

Is it weird that I got turned on reading this post? Best fucken post I've ever read lmaooo.

Yes man, you are a fucken weirdo LOL.

[GeorgeMax]

Bruh,That shit is Wild! Took me like 10 minutes to read it, from stopping to laugh so much! Sell that scene to Tarantino immediately. Gold!

And yea, props for staying upright!! I am curious about her cg technique while arguing?! LOL.

Yes! Props for keeping your wood and eye on the prize. Not many could do that.

Sounds like a fucking Chinese clown car fire drill.

[Elpatron]

Ivy is the older Chinese lady she's still there, you not going to get nothing here aunleast they know you if you want a really good massage tried the Spanish girl Rose she does a really good massage

I have not seen her for years. Pre Covid probably. I'm not sure if she is still there or not. D & D Spa 3310 S Archer. Small strip mall with a restaurant across from it that had great Pork Bao.

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[Billy73]

Was excited to read the recent post about Moon Spa which was one of my first go to Spas besides Relax Spa on Cermak.

Showed up parked and was like WTF they moved so I walked up read the sign and luckily it only moved around the corner. I then ring the door bell and get let in and right off the bat was thinking awwww hell to the no. The woman was 50 ish and resembled Andre The Giant total other end of the spectrum from what a spinner would be classified as I asked for younger girl and she said she was the girl. I then tried to play it off and said can I make an appointment for tomorrow and she asked for a deposit which I passed on and shuffled my ass right out the door. But for you guys lucky enough to get the younger girl congrats I just wasn't going to drop $200 to tap a giant Chinese woman.

Upon exiting did notice The Earth Chi a 1/2 block away and that place looks promising.

But today was a hard pass on Moon Spa and back to the hunt I go.