What I learned as a Monger for the past 2 years. Good read for Newbies

[DWaits]

Hey guys,

I'm going to start looking for a therapist and I remember seeing some people mentioning to look for a "sex positive" therapist but I don't know what that means exactly. Can someone with experience DM me with some help as to what to look for?

Thanks in advance!

This means the therapist is not going to shame you, but will understand and appreciate an interest in kink of various types. Google: Chicago therapists sex positive and the first link should be Psychology Today listed. Read the profiles to find a good fit.

[Illinois Guy 7]

So many are wanting to share their complete story. I get it. My best friend and confidante passed away a few years ago and I do not share my "hobby" with coworkers, relatives, other friends. I guess deep down I am ashamed that I partake so much. I have shared here before so will update y'all. If nobody reads it, it's okay. I still feel the need to purge these thoughts.

So I have run through various avenues of service. I don't care for the AMP adventures. Korean Palace has been my go-to for the last 2 years. But I returned to a former agency lady who became an independent lady I have previously referred to as my "Salma Hayek" in both body and facial looks and she's younger than Salma, but not by all that much. Because she keeps a lower volume than many others, and because I pay the same directly that I did thru the agency, my Salma wants to keep me and has become a great GFE provider- DFK the whole time, BBBJ, DATY, and bare FS. She knows that I love really big tits and she indulges my need for titty-face and otherwise worshipping her body. I have only kept up with Korean Palace because of the addiction to seeing different young hotties who also kiss and provide most of those same services, but really- I should give them up. The problem is very simple- I have had some of the greatest sex with the hottest women. So what if it hurts my savings? If savings are not for such a wonderful thing, then really what good are they? I guarantee my Salma is better at sex than the actual Salma. And those young hotties from KP- OMFG, they get the spinners with fake boobs and some of the tiniest waists. They kiss like teenagers with their hormones running wild. At my age, I sometimes have a hard time finishing, so I can last most of the hour if she follows my requests to start out slow, and these gals generally do that well. So my "problem" becomes a wonderful thing because Salma or these KP hotties want me to leave happy and they find a way to finish me off.

But is this "normal" ? Why am I ashamed of what I do? Well, probably because I have a significant other, a dead fish who is more than willing to be a cum bucket as often as I like because I do give her the O when we do it. She would not forgive me at all for what I do, but I have tried and tried to put a fire into our nights, and have only succeeded occasionally to get the dead fish into a lively mode. Meanwhile, I can go this week and see a smoking hot lady who will ride me until I am sore or be ridden for an hour of pounding and make me feel like I did her a huge sexual favor by using my skills on her. Fake fantasy or not, that is an awesome thing.

The last time I said I was going to give up KP, a bunch of you messaged me and asked me to allow you to use my membership. No way. I did not actually quit KP and it would be a logistical nightmare to give my info to someone else. I don't even use a burner phone. I am going to try to cut way back on KP and mostly just see Salma. I won't entirely give it up but might cut back so much that "Mike" will eventually drop me. I will see Salma until I retire and move away or until she leaves the business. Her personal life is such a mess that I doubt she quits before I do. I retire soon and plan to move to such a small "tropical" community that I won't be able to continue in this hobby. Everyone will know everyone and talk would get around. But I will have the greatest memories of some of the hottest women on this planet. If it takes you back any, I might have gotten out of this hobby before getting in too deep until I discovered touringgirlsDOTcom, South American hotties. Tessa was about the literal hottest GFE a man could handle. I was actually okay that they went away and saved me from over-indulging. I saw Macie for awhile and she was great, but no passion in her game. But KP took their place and then Salma, I met thru an agency during COVID and she didn't kiss back then. I just came back for the magnificent body and huge naturalistic DD's. When she went indy and recruited me, she became more passionate and I actually can escape into believing she would run away with me if I won the lottery- I bet she would. And sorry guys, she won't let me share her info. She recruits her own way. She prefers men with their own problems and something to lose because so many guys have obsessed over her, put airtags on her car, showed up at her incall when they were drunk and wanted to profess their lust / love for her. I get it, we play like we are lovers, but she knows I go home and turn it off.

Anyway, I think I wanted to share what I can't tell the people around me, but I also wanted to say- FIND A WAY TO END THIS GAME. I know I will quit in a couple / few years and it will be okay to live with the memories.

[TwilightCircus]

Hey guys,

I'm going to start looking for a therapist and I remember seeing some people mentioning to look for a "sex positive" therapist but I don't know what that means exactly. Can someone with experience DM me with some help as to what to look for?

Thanks in advance!

[OldSchoolGuy73]

I don't know exactly what you are asking people to comment on, I didn't see any actual question in your entire Monger storyline. So the only thing I will comment on, is that you need to understand that this isn't a hobby it's an addiction. You also need to come to terms to what you want to get out of it. You can't honestly expect to start a healthy relationship with someone new if you are sleeping with escorts on the side. A good portion of the men here seek escorts while married because of a sexless marriage, or issues with sex with their partner. Some don't have a partner at all and need the sex from a women and this is their outlet. Some have sex with their partner and just simply want variety and this is that outlet; But you need to understand that this addiction has it's risks. Some might be quite obvious, like getting an STD, costing you a ton of money in the end. The not so obvious one are, ruining your idea of a relationship, ruining how you view sex and what gets you off, re-programming your sexual gratification an unrealistic sex life of having multiple partners. One woman will never be able to sexually satisfy you after a while. I don't know why your goal is 100 women, if it's just a numbers game for you to make you feel like a PIMP then maybe re-evaluate what you are actually after. I can only assure you that it's best to figure out your true purpose and goals. The longer you are in this addiction the more you'll eventually pay for it in some way or another. There's a reason girls come and go in this addiction, they don't last long because it's mentally taxing and emotionally damaging for some women. If you talk to any of the escorts long enough you'll realize they are in this business for a reason and that' simply to make money fast. The smart ones make their cash quickly and dip out, the ones that say in for the long game often have some serious, serious issues. Good luck in finding out your goal and if finding a healthy relationship is your goal, I say to focus on that and leave this addiction behind.

It's the thrill finding her online getting to the place be it a hotel or apartment and that magical moment when the door opens and you pass it then turn back to see who was behind it. The outfit the perfume drives me crazy. I still have amazing sex with the misses and she's a 9 possibly a 10 if she didn't nag so much but that's what turns me on is the suspense. Reading these testimonies has gotten me to slow down a lot and now have that regret lingering in the back of my mind so I try avoid it even though I still search. Personally I liked to be touched and stroked and get a BBBJ with some ball sucking the sex is secondary. Worst part is I had a great year at work and received an huge bonus and that itch has intensified due to increase in funds.

[AngelBravo]

I don't know exactly what you are asking people to comment on, I didn't see any actual question in your entire Monger storyline. So the only thing I will comment on, is that you need to understand that this isn't a hobby it's an addiction. You also need to come to terms to what you want to get out of it. You can't honestly expect to start a healthy relationship with someone new if you are sleeping with escorts on the side. A good portion of the men here seek escorts while married because of a sexless marriage, or issues with sex with their partner. Some don't have a partner at all and need the sex from a women and this is their outlet. Some have sex with their partner and just simply want variety and this is that outlet; But you need to understand that this addiction has it's risks. Some might be quite obvious, like getting an STD, costing you a ton of money in the end. The not so obvious one are, ruining your idea of a relationship, ruining how you view sex and what gets you off, re-programming your sexual gratification an unrealistic sex life of having multiple partners. One woman will never be able to sexually satisfy you after a while. I don't know why your goal is 100 women, if it's just a numbers game for you to make you feel like a PIMP then maybe re-evaluate what you are actually after. I can only assure you that it's best to figure out your true purpose and goals. The longer you are in this addiction the more you'll eventually pay for it in some way or another. There's a reason girls come and go in this addiction, they don't last long because it's mentally taxing and emotionally damaging for some women. If you talk to any of the escorts long enough you'll realize they are in this business for a reason and that' simply to make money fast. The smart ones make their cash quickly and dip out, the ones that say in for the long game often have some serious, serious issues. Good luck in finding out your goal and if finding a healthy relationship is your goal, I say to focus on that and leave this addiction behind.

OK been reflecting on life a bit and I think this is a good place to share because I don't think anyone else would really understand about what goes on other than the people here surprisingly, I've never admitted to anyone in person about having a sex addiction or even when my friends mention happy ending massages I usually just laugh it off with them because I know deep down they'll judge and not get where I am coming from if I ever told them about my hobby. So preface to it all, I am 24 right now and got into this "hobby" for 3 reasons first was I saw some YouTube videos talking about the subject and I've always had a high sex drive so I dabbled into it with an AMP and didn't know what I was doing so I ended up at Golden Dream Spa with Mandy and boy I was so nervous that day that I ended up just finishing with a handy in like a minute because I thought I'd get LEO coming out the woodworks. Second reason, I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart who was 2 years younger than me from when I was 14 till 20, she had asked to be celibate for religious reasons and I agreed because I was a chubby and insecure kid so I didn't think I could do better, when she got to college she dumped me to experience the college life (LOL) Looking back, I dodged an actual bullet because I was thinking about marrying her mainly due to being horny and the girl was not the greatest looker, I thought this hobby would make up for the lost time I had from being faithful and get bodies for me under my belt; I earned losing my virginity to a girl I met on tinder, I would personally feel shame if I lost it to a escort if I am being honest. Last and main reason is I found a girl that I fell in love with again, she was just visiting Chicago for a concert for the week and we spent all the days together without it feeling like a burden and we clicked at a level I hadn't in a while. We set up arrangements that we would do a long distance relationship for a year and if it worked out well, she would move here but after like 2 months, I just couldn't do it anymore and I ventured into this to try filling that hole but really it turned from a once a week thing to a couple times refreshing the line ups for all the apartment places trying to see which had the best pull. I was also doing all this behind her back because she would kill me if they knew, so I would just turn my location on from my second phone and get out of the house, make my way to do the deed and then act like everything was fine. My original plan was to just cut cold turkey once she moved but deep down I don't know if I ever want to stop this because it's honestly very fun. Long story short, relationships are very hard, she didn't like that I wasn't putting proper effort into things, so she chose to start making me feel miserable so I would break up with her instead of doing it herself. I turned to the high end section of the forum, I think if you go back I am probably the person that bumped that section up because honestly I don't really mind paying more to get a better looking girl whose "less ran thru" (very subjective ik) and GFE is just amazing instead of a pump and dump. I usually stuck to eros girls but was bored and decided to go on escort alligator and see what was there and ran into a listing, I didn't really deep dive into the pics too hard and just made my way instead, normal procedure I got to the door but when THEY opened the door and we were talking, THEY came in for a hug and I felt a bulge and excused myself to the bathroom to look at the listing maybe I was tweaking because I was high during this all and no mention of a cock in the listing. I panicked a bit and was looking for a way out, we had agreed to payment thru venmo beforehand and I have my extra card always linked where it will always auto decline the charges, pull the good old switcharoo to get out of the situation but this **** made a big deal about me wasting their time and I essentially got blackmailed for like a whole week after that in hopes I would pay up and that put me on the shelf for the hobby for a bit cause it was so much and I honestly wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Since all this though, I became a hinge demon, I got really into fitness during the pandemic and recently finally began actually cutting properly and I am not like a full chad or the most beautiful man ever but I look good and I think my partners wouldn't be ashamed or anything standing next to me. I have certain qualities that make me stand out ALOT (if any of you ever meet me in person you'll get what I am talking about haha and you'll be like I get what you meant) and I've honestly grown into my body and my ability to yap with a women is really out of this world. I met an asian girl and I made her squirt multiple times literally almost every time we fucked but she ended up kicking me out of her house because she thought "I wasn't the one" but I don't think I would be able to do that without this hobby. It was a tough year from me for most angles, my business went to shit, I lost more girls than I wanted to and I honestly thought I would be maybe engaged by this time? But majority of these experiences have been good except a couple bad actors. I am not sure if there will ever be an end for me for this hobby, I was thinking maybe when I get to a 100 bodies, I call it quits but I am slowly starting to creep on that number thru all escorts, dating apps and ONS from parties. I will say this is such an expensive hobby and I collect sneakers for my other hobby where I am used to paying crazy premiums so money has less value to me personally. Thank you if you read my rant or whatever you consider this, if you have any input feel free to give it, I know most of you guys are boomers so I genuinely wouldn't mind seeing what you guys have to say.

[HappyGardener]

I'll take up on the offer whenever I come visit Chicago. I've always wanted to experience watching / joining a GB. Always wanted to experience something at least once in my life. Good thing I don't live in IL otherwise I'll be visiting many places. Not much here in MN. Thanks to this forum, I've learned many things.

I Don't know where you are in MN, but there are some very active swinger and GB groups in MSP. Go to the FetLife website, look for events and / or for swinger groups. People in the lifestyle are very welcoming to newbies and first time attendees as long as you are vetted and follow their rules. I had a very enjoyable time at the events I went to. Much bigger groups than in Chicago and much less expensive.

[Lemon123]

OK been reflecting on life a bit and I think this is a good place to share because I don't think anyone else would really understand about what goes on other than the people here surprisingly, I've never admitted to anyone in person about having a sex addiction or even when my friends mention happy ending massages I usually just laugh it off with them because I know deep down they'll judge and not get where I am coming from if I ever told them about my hobby. So preface to it all, I am 24 right now and got into this "hobby" for 3 reasons first was I saw some YouTube videos talking about the subject and I've always had a high sex drive so I dabbled into it with an AMP and didn't know what I was doing so I ended up at Golden Dream Spa with Mandy and boy I was so nervous that day that I ended up just finishing with a handy in like a minute because I thought I'd get LEO coming out the woodworks. Second reason, I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart who was 2 years younger than me from when I was 14 till 20, she had asked to be celibate for religious reasons and I agreed because I was a chubby and insecure kid so I didn't think I could do better, when she got to college she dumped me to experience the college life (LOL) Looking back, I dodged an actual bullet because I was thinking about marrying her mainly due to being horny and the girl was not the greatest looker, I thought this hobby would make up for the lost time I had from being faithful and get bodies for me under my belt; I earned losing my virginity to a girl I met on tinder, I would personally feel shame if I lost it to a escort if I am being honest. Last and main reason is I found a girl that I fell in love with again, she was just visiting Chicago for a concert for the week and we spent all the days together without it feeling like a burden and we clicked at a level I hadn't in a while. We set up arrangements that we would do a long distance relationship for a year and if it worked out well, she would move here but after like 2 months, I just couldn't do it anymore and I ventured into this to try filling that hole but really it turned from a once a week thing to a couple times refreshing the line ups for all the apartment places trying to see which had the best pull. I was also doing all this behind her back because she would kill me if they knew, so I would just turn my location on from my second phone and get out of the house, make my way to do the deed and then act like everything was fine. My original plan was to just cut cold turkey once she moved but deep down I don't know if I ever want to stop this because it's honestly very fun. Long story short, relationships are very hard, she didn't like that I wasn't putting proper effort into things, so she chose to start making me feel miserable so I would break up with her instead of doing it herself. I turned to the high end section of the forum, I think if you go back I am probably the person that bumped that section up because honestly I don't really mind paying more to get a better looking girl whose "less ran thru" (very subjective ik) and GFE is just amazing instead of a pump and dump. I usually stuck to eros girls but was bored and decided to go on escort alligator and see what was there and ran into a listing, I didn't really deep dive into the pics too hard and just made my way instead, normal procedure I got to the door but when THEY opened the door and we were talking, THEY came in for a hug and I felt a bulge and excused myself to the bathroom to look at the listing maybe I was tweaking because I was high during this all and no mention of a cock in the listing. I panicked a bit and was looking for a way out, we had agreed to payment thru venmo beforehand and I have my extra card always linked where it will always auto decline the charges, pull the good old switcharoo to get out of the situation but this **** made a big deal about me wasting their time and I essentially got blackmailed for like a whole week after that in hopes I would pay up and that put me on the shelf for the hobby for a bit cause it was so much and I honestly wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Since all this though, I became a hinge demon, I got really into fitness during the pandemic and recently finally began actually cutting properly and I am not like a full chad or the most beautiful man ever but I look good and I think my partners wouldn't be ashamed or anything standing next to me. I have certain qualities that make me stand out ALOT (if any of you ever meet me in person you'll get what I am talking about haha and you'll be like I get what you meant) and I've honestly grown into my body and my ability to yap with a women is really out of this world. I met an asian girl and I made her squirt multiple times literally almost every time we fucked but she ended up kicking me out of her house because she thought "I wasn't the one" but I don't think I would be able to do that without this hobby. It was a tough year from me for most angles, my business went to shit, I lost more girls than I wanted to and I honestly thought I would be maybe engaged by this time? But majority of these experiences have been good except a couple bad actors. I am not sure if there will ever be an end for me for this hobby, I was thinking maybe when I get to a 100 bodies, I call it quits but I am slowly starting to creep on that number thru all escorts, dating apps and ONS from parties. I will say this is such an expensive hobby and I collect sneakers for my other hobby where I am used to paying crazy premiums so money has less value to me personally. Thank you if you read my rant or whatever you consider this, if you have any input feel free to give it, I know most of you guys are boomers so I genuinely wouldn't mind seeing what you guys have to say.

[Pmuas]

I've been recently hosting Gangbangs at my location by Wrigley Field with some frequency.

PM me. I might be able to accommodate your first experience.

Every guy on this board started as a newbie in this game. No shame on being a newbie.

I'll take up on the offer whenever I come visit Chicago. I've always wanted to experience watching / joining a GB. Always wanted to experience something at least once in my life. Good thing I don't live in IL otherwise I'll be visiting many places. Not much here in MN. Thanks to this forum, I've learned many things.

[Ron M]

Ron's the man. He invited me to his gb once and that's what you call a good deal. I just didn't want to make the drive. I'll def take up the offer again one day 😂.

You think you have a long drive to attend my gangbang?

The last one I hosted a board guy drove in from Northwest Indiana.

He left with a big smile on his face back to Northwest Indiana.

[Terrapin911]

You can get those okamoto 0. 04 from Amazon at about 1 per bag. A set of 24 will run you $25. They're def hella thin but also on the average size. You'll feel a lot better but it's still no match for bare.

That said, yolo. I'm in an open sexless relationship so I've been doing it raw with SA meets. Also, eating pussy is a favorite thing of mine, especially 69. I can eat pussy for an entire hour straight. So yeah, it she looks clean I'm risking it fuck it.

I will have to give those a go myself. Just can't keep it up like I'm 20 anymore, yet don't seem to have an issue bare.

And amen on the pussy eating! If I don't get at least a good 25+ minutes of pussy eating in per session my dick won't even get hard enough to need a condom.

Getting older sucks, got to eat a lions share of pussy to get it up to start (which I actually love more than fucking) then need something either ultra thin or going bare to keep it up long enough to finish. Nothing worse than losing an erection mid fuck, even worse when you really are attracted to the lady physically and think she is a hot 8 or a 9.

TP.

[JamesWords]

Pretty sure I'm addicted. In my 20's I would pick up SWs and get BJs for $20. "scared straight" when one of them left her crack pipe in my car.

Started seeing pros about 2 years ago. Between when I stopped seeing SWs and 2 years ago I would go to strip clubs and get HJs in the VIP room.

After having trouble with my wife I started to see pros in Vegas. My first time out I saw 3 girls on my first day. That includes a duo. For the past 2 years I see girls in Vegas since I head out once a quarter. In the meantime I watch porn and read reviews and posts on the daily.

Non existing sex life at home keeps pushing me. To be honest I've only seen 2 girls in Illinois. Other hobbies keep me busy. The situation at home isn't getting better so now I'm getting verified with agencies.

Funny thing is I started to talk to a divorced friend of mine who said was in the same boat I am. Difference is he didn't get along with his wife. I do but there is no sex. Anyway he admitted to me he would frequent massage parlors all the time.

I don't know if it's normal to pursue this stuff outside of a sexless marriage or it's addiction. If anything I'm addicted to watching porn.

Similar situation to you but I don't do SW. I went with agency first, MCE to be exact. Then I found an Asian apartment, RL before anyone posted on the forum. I was a lurker back then and found them by pure accident online. I would sneak out at night. Then from one RL encounter I met some guys who recommended me to check out Lily's. Found out they were located 2 blocks from me and I went there weekly till I moved to the burbs. Tried to keep things down after moving but eventually got caught seeing an escort online. Got into an argument and settled our differences. Started taking Lexapro to curb my sexual desires but then wife became lesbo and I'm like fuck it, you get a partner I do my shit. Here I am, back in the game. Made an account on the forum too 😂.

She knows what I'm doing, she don't care anymore. Neither do I.

[JamesWords]

Good advice. Need to get those ultra thin Japanese bags. I definitely initiate more with the wife but yeah, I can be proactive in voicing wants and needs but it's one thing getting it from someone that wants to get it done and others what know what they are doing.

Much appreciated for the advice.

You can get those okamoto 0. 04 from Amazon at about 1 per bag. A set of 24 will run you $25. They're def hella thin but also on the average size. You'll feel a lot better but it's still no match for bare.

That said, yolo. I'm in an open sexless relationship so I've been doing it raw with SA meets. Also, eating pussy is a favorite thing of mine, especially 69. I can eat pussy for an entire hour straight. So yeah, it she looks clean I'm risking it fuck it.

[JamesWords]

Ron, I thought I was getting a good deal haha. Thank God, I have not agreed to anyone who asked 600+ 😁.

Ron's the man. He invited me to his gb once and that's what you call a good deal. I just didn't want to make the drive. I'll def take up the offer again one day 😂.

[JamesWords]

What's up all and Merry Christmas! I have to say SA have been pretty busy and great for me for the past few months and I'm hoping to add one more gal in my rotation. I sometimes wonder if I make the best decision and I'm just curious to know what would you guys pick and why?

Which one would you pick in such situations.

1) 21 year old, no kids, BBBJ, cfs, kiss, body 8/10, face 8/10 Follows orders well, Performance 7/10. For 400.

2) 30 year old, no kids, BBBJ, cip, don't kiss, body 9/10, face 8/10. Almost like a dead fish, but follows orders well, always on SA. Performance 5/10. For 400.

3) 40 year old, has kids, BBBJ, cip, kiss, body 6/10 (baby damage) face 9/10. Definitely full GFE experience. Almost never on SA. Performance 10/10. For 350.

Thanks!

Long term #1. I'd take a 21 year old since they'd age slower. You can also groom them to follow your preferences. BBFS might also be on the table eventually.

Short term #3: face 9/10 does it for me. At 40 baby damage is normal. If she can keep up the face who cares about the body. Great performance is also a plus.

#2 doesn't really match up to 1. 9/10 body and 8/10 body is more or less the same. 30 vs 21 I'd take 21 every day. Perhaps we can work that body to a 9/10 too.

Prices of 350 and 400 are decent in my eyes. They're all good and comparable.

[Ron M]

Ron, I thought I was getting a good deal haha. Thank God, I have not agreed to anyone who asked 600+ 😁.

Would you throw me the ones you don't pick, haha.

I am on a massive SA losing streak!

I stay far away from SA girls.

I like the zone I'm at.