Massage Parlor Reports

[Willie23]

In other words, the staff there are not confirmed to be the old biddies at Dupar's that you crave.

Huh? Not sure why you want to slam my posts.

My personal preferences run from 20-60 and slender depending on my mood. Yours seems to be fat, sweaty providers. To each his own.

[Fat Jerk76]

Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home.

I seriously don't understand mongers to slide into the massage joint unshowered on their lunch break. They've been pouring concrete or picking their nose in front of spreadsheets for 4 hours, then they go eat a Chipotle burrito and figure they can squeeze in a tug and the boss won't notice. So they haul their coffee breath & bean farts into the parlor and expect to be greeted with smiles and wet, inviting slit.

[PlayerN818]

I have a four hands massage story from wharf coming, and I now believe it is the vicar of jesus on earth.

But last night, the place broke me.

I am face down with a new girl. Carissa or something, typical portly Asian gal age 36-100, and in comes a monger:

The girl says to him, you want showered?

To which the monger says, not now but I want to shower after (and then goes on a fucken soliloquy about how he had showered before hand that he was raised as a foster child and that his real parents were satanists and refused to accept the lord.

There is now a shower at wharf. Mission list for me is how to cut the fucken pipes. Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home. If I hear anything about a shower at wharf one more time, I will find a way to have like 50 homeless take showers there.

Westside has homeless? I thought they paid someone to haul them away. (It's sarcasm, people. Aim your correction ammo elsewhere).

[PriscillaM]

I have a four hands massage story from wharf coming, and I now believe it is the vicar of jesus on earth.

But last night, the place broke me.

I am face down with a new girl. Carissa or something, typical portly Asian gal age 36-100, and in comes a monger:

The girl says to him, you want showered?

To which the monger says, not now but I want to shower after (and then goes on a fucken soliloquy about how he had showered before hand that he was raised as a foster child and that his real parents were satanists and refused to accept the lord.

There is now a shower at wharf. Mission list for me is how to cut the fucken pipes. Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home. If I hear anything about a shower at wharf one more time, I will find a way to have like 50 homeless take showers there.

[PriscillaM]

The former watch battery/repair place on Olympic is a bit too public for a local.

Another new massage Parlor (Oasis) is on Pico about 4 blocks East of Sepulveda. Lights on, nobody home. but has a rear entrance, so more discreet.

In other words, the staff there are not confirmed to be the old biddies at Dupar's that you crave.

[Willie23]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

The former watch battery/repair place on Olympic is a bit too public for a local.

Another new massage Parlor (Oasis) is on Pico about 4 blocks East of Sepulveda. Lights on, nobody home. but has a rear entrance, so more discreet.

[Murrican]

There is really no info online. Is it next to the fucken 7 - 11?

Yep that one. It's been there for months. I googled the name and the address. Nada. Usually by now there's at least some indication.

[Murrican]

Check out Rose Massage in Koreatown. You can thank my blue balls after. But you should consider tipping $0. 50 for every pound you are overweight.

That place sucked. All the signs of an AMP and it's fools gold. Whipped my Johnson out and they clutched their Asian pearls.

[PriscillaM]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

There is really no info online. Is it next to the fucken 7 - 11?

[Murrican]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

[Gruyere]

Lads, I'm back with more tales of high society. This time we're talking about truly the upper echelon of people-touching-people here in this quaint Southern California borough: the Russian nuru sweatshacks that advertise 180 hhr /220 hr.

The marketing is great. The women in the photos are how you pictured Her while you were staring at Joaquin's fucked up lip wondering if that's a birth defect or what. The PD pictures let you imagine the world we'd live in if there were acai bowls in Stalingrad. But what you get on the other side of the door is not that. On a good day you will see the resemblance. Like if the picture hottie's cousin snuck into Long Beach on an Affliction container ship, eating Takis and rats until it was safe to swim ashore.

The good news is, they do eventually jack you off.

I've been through one of their locations a half dozen times. I'm guessing they're all the same. You text the number of what I assume to be a Russian dude, he replies in a Hey Hun broken English that personally I find to be funnier than the Asian version. The appointment is set, you will pretty much always be told they're available. It's usually short notice for me. If I spent days looking forward to this I would find that to be aggressively sad on a personal level. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

The next 20-30 minutes is the reason this is so cheap. You never really know if the time you booked is the time you will hear the sweet sweet sound of a shitty apartment building buzzer. The bookers say yes to everyone. Your appointment is like a free ticket to one of those first come first serve pre-release screeners, not orchestra seats at the Ahmanson.

The second or third time I was there, a gentleman was waiting with me. My monger senses were tingling but I guess I wanted to believe he was not seeking a 180 dollar HJ from the same naked Russian drifter as me. We stood around for a while and finally I got a text that the call of the buzzer was imminent. Because I'm a hero, and have low self-esteem, I opened the door for the fella and gestured for him to go ahead. He thanked me kindly and darted straight up to the motel-like 1-bedroom suite I had been before, where I'm assuming he chuckled while squirting out the last of the old spice body wash. It was a particularly melancholy drive to my local prostate poking granny that day.

If you do have the privilege of being the lone appointment holder, you will be led into a plain apartment with a couch and bed, at the location I've been to anyway. I do greatly prefer a mattress to a creaky table so that is appreciated, though I'm sure you'd need welding glasses if you held a blacklight to it. I've seen four different women there. The first was surprisingly hot with a kind've dingy north Florida spring break vibe. Black hair, late 20's, fake everything with some tats & a tan. The massage was light touch but not bad. She wore a thong the whole time. On the flip it was the kind've body to body lap dance I've become accustomed to in the various lite nuru operations around town. Her ass was pleasantly meaty, perhaps in a skinny fat way, but my expectations were surpassed on this inaugural run. Pop, clean-up, shower, 18 seconds of small talk, see ya next time.

Next time never came for that one. The next gal I saw twice in a row. She was probably early 30's. Light brown hair, sweet face, decent body but no standout features. Two sides of the coin with her- she gave the best damn massage I've ever had from someone in the handjob business. And she absolutely hated being touched.

She didn't tell me about the touching rule, verbally anyway. Two thirds of the way through the truly excellent pre-flip, I made an innocent graze on her leg. She took my hand and put it back on the bed. I thought maybe I was just in her way. A few minutes later I did it once more and she more firmly moved my hand away. I'm no saint, but I'm not one to push boundaries or make someone uncomfortable. I mean I do typically like a little faux intimacy with someone who's rubbing their tits on my cock, but message received. Surprisingly she then proceeded to breathe and moan into my ear. It came out of nowhere but I was into it. Completely a performance of course but in this context it worked for me.

We finished up, she was now in a great mood. What can I say, women love seeing me walk out the door. Through her disappating vape cloud she told me to come back again. I said I will, Dear, but for now I must go outside and see how many dudes with hard-ons are waiting at the buzzer.

I did actually see her again the next week because I wanted an hour this time. I'd go back for that massage if I were Hellen Keller in a strait jacket. Fortunately she rubbed her tits on my cock again. These Russian ladies take a pride in their namesake sexual act that would make the people of Cleveland blush.

The next two trips were decent enough but unremarkable. I saw a nice gal who was probably not the first of the farmer's daughters to be courted. But she was friendly and her English better than the rest. Not that I'm there for the conversations but she was easy to talk to and it wasn't awkward. High standards, I know. A week or two later I hit up the booker and asked who was working, hoping to avoid her. I'm one of these psychos who likes to be attracted to the person jacking them off. They sent fake but real enough looking pics that I thought I was in the clear. But it was her again. I went through the motions of the session out of laziness and because the price is right, but it put a bad taste in my mouth for a while.

I went back recently after a regular fell through (more on that in a future posting). This time a strung-out looking girl in her late 20's opened the door. Septum piercing and some tats, with shoulder length brown / black hair. Skinny & hot in a I'm Never Introducing Her to Mom type way. She asks half hour or hour and starts talking about upgrades. 50 bucks touching, 50 bucks nude, I don't remember what else but it wasn't particularly exciting. Having not been there for a bit I had a passing concern about it being a sting. But don't worry folks, within 26 minutes I'd be draining my balls as she softly laughs and sighs at the same time.

After I showered she hopped on my back, thong only. She took the massage seriously and it was enjoyable. There's a bed-length closet mirror where I stared and watched her work. It was one step below my vaping angel, but better than most AMPs. For those of us who enjoy the massage aspect of the hobby, I'll say I respect the effort that comes out of this particular jack shack.

On the flip I discover that I like her body quite a bit. I paid the touch upcharge because I'm a sap. Everything she did was kind've a combo of the other women I saw there. Half nuru, half lap dance, followed by the grazing of some tits on my balls. I decided to cum while grabbing her ass as she laid by my side stroking me and breathing into my ear. It's moments like these when I regret every dollar I've spent in a Thai parlor touching a 47 year old's b cup as she lifts up her shirt with one hand and solemnly finishes me off with the other.

So missed bag with this operation. Sometimes I think it's the best value in non-FS mongering. Other times I stand around for a half hour just to be the doorman for a guy who also was recently called Babe by a Russian man via SMS. Ultimately the gamble is in the scratch-off ticket nature of the ladies. I don't know how the schedules or rotations work, there's no lineup, and I don't trust the booker to tell me whether or not the person I want to see is actually the person who's there that day. But I will probably continue to follow my pattern of extremely last-minute, unplanned bookings with them. At least until I go to therapy.

[Rocketron1006]

Fellas, I want to give back to this fine upstanding community. Been lurking for awhile, as I've been pretty active hobbying the past year or two. I think it was the 2nd Pfizer dose that made me want to go around town collecting room temp bottles of water. Without your collective wisdom, I'd probably be wasting my life with a different hobby like rescuing dogs or teaching prisoners to read.

This entire missive was a masterpiece. Never stop.

[PriscillaM]

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the flip.

Four hands.

[Fat Jerk76]

Wharf is now the ultimate power in the universe. More to follow. Details available via private message and remember the rules- no read receipt address me as his royal highness and AYC.

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the flip.

[CalValencia]

This visit I came back and paid the full hour and got the lineup. Luckily there was a black lady in the lineup but not the "Lisa" I met back in December. Where as Lisa had no clue about massage this lady did a great massage. Unfortunately the rest of Lisa offered was far superior but even a bad time is a good time. I do need to try other locations in the area. Anyone have a spot comparable or better to 8155?