Massage Parlor Reports

**Frank Digitola** · 09-01-23 20:10

At some point in our existence as a species, some schmuck who fancies himself a philosopher came up with the phrase "The customer is always right". This was an absolutely devastating development in humankind's history as many of our directionless sheep bought into this idea and began behaving as such. As you and I both know though, the customer oftentimes is incorrect. In many cases, the aforementioned customer is also a steamy pile of jackal manure.

A group of pals and I made our way to Sweet Water Tavern for drinks and a delicious dinner last night. This restaurant was a frequent destination of ours pre-pandemic and I would often go to 8303 to attain the full belly, empty testicles euphoria that we all know and love. Since I haven't been there in so long I decide to pay a visit. The door opens and when I look behind it there's a Chinese, late 40's something named Mimi, with absolutely jumbo teddies spilling out of her dress. I recreate the Tiger Woods putt celebration meme in my head but not physically because I'm not a tool. I'm led to the room, pay the house fee and then hit the table. Mimi comes into the room and begins to give me a pretty good massage. After about 10 minutes though, there's a chime at the door. Another patron has arrived and the visit takes a turn for the worse.

The other masseuse working, Lisa, was apparently tied up and Mimi left out to answer the door. I hear another door open and close before the front door, followed by Chinese chatter. Said patron, who I have not referred to as "brah", because he could never be my brah as he is a self absorbed pickle jar full of rat piss, ends up seeing both women because of this kerfuffle. Mimi sends him off to the room with Lisa then returns to the room with me. We begin to hear the other dude raise his voice, going full Karen. I hear "No. I want you out of here. I want the other girl. " amongst other pretentious ramblings. Mimi leaves out to investigate and all I hear is his incessant "No, no, no" followed by a defeated "okay sir".

Lisa comes into the room in Mimi's stead. Her torso is flatter than my high school math teacher's tires the year he failed some of the brahs from the football team. She is however much cuter and younger looking. She apologizes and says she's going to finish. I tell her that everything is cool and that she is very beautiful. I'm both being nice and exaggerating. She proceeds to give me a pretty good massage. We flirt a lot and she laughs at my jokes. I'm having a nice time considering what went down.

Mimi made quick work of the Karen and he was leaving while Lisa was tickling my acorns and asking how much I was going to tip her. I told her I only wanted a Hugh Jackman and she asked me if I wanted to bang. I declined while simultaneously reaching up her skirt and grabbing what was surprisingly a nice, jiggly, meaty booty. It was so pleasant to the touch I was a tad startled. Mimi came to the door and checked in with some indecipherable Chinese. It is at this point that I decided to go big air. I asked Lisa to call Mimi into the room and she complied. Once in she apologized for the earlier inconvenience. I assure her that the apologies are unnecessary, but that I have a different problem. "I have fallen in love with two women in one night and now I don't know what to do. " This joke was a success and laughs were had. I ask if I can pay the difference for 30 minutes of 4 hand so that they can both join the finish. They agree to the finish for tips but declined to extra house due to the Karen incident. Shoutout to them for customer service.

Four hand was the absolute last thing I cared about. My main concern was getting to Mimi's teds. They both agreed to pop their teddies out. Lisa's were okay. Mimi flopped hers out and they were a marvelous, meaty sight. As per usual, your Google search for comparison is "Anri Okita JAV". Anri is 5'6". If you imagine what those teddies you see in Google images would look like on a 4'11" Chinese 48 year old with a cat face, then you have Mimi. Reaching up both skirts reveals that neither of them had on panties. Mimi's ass is as unremarkable as Lisa's teddies.

They take turns tugging me and both had good technique. I'm squeezing thick teddies and jiggling meaty ass as they stroke away and rub oil all over my balls. I'm having too much fun and I'm not paying attention to finishing. Mimi makes her way down to Jr. And starts smacking her teddies with him. I ask for the ted bang and she gives it to me. Lisa caresses and scratches me all over my chest and shoulders. I haven't been paying an iota of attention to her so I take a break from my ted gaze, look at her and tell her that she's beautiful. I'm harder than the Valkyrie boss fights in God of War and before long I shoot Super Saiyan ropes all over this poor woman's teds and neck. 7 house, 7 to each of them.

I got dressed and they returned to the room to refresh it. I was given a water bottle and a big hug by both of them. I asked if I could come back to see them again. Mimi said and I quote "Yes. Next time you should fuck us. " This reply sufficiently sent me to my car with a boner. But my fresh boner and water bottle were not the only thing I took with me to my car. I also carried a conundrum. The entitled patron who shared 8303 with me, although briefly, annoyed me greatly. His stunt was so maddening that I wished I were Guile from Street Fighter so that I could Flash Kick him across the forehead. His stunt however was the vehicle by which I had a soul sapping, four hand pop with handfuls of meaty T&A. So is it "Screw you" or "Thank you"? I don't know. All I know is that it's update time.

Frankie Digitola Big Teddies Hall of Fame.

1. Kiko at Diamond Flash Spa. Best massage in the DMV. Gorgeous teddies. Google "Audreysimone Monika Vapes". That's what Kiko's teddies look like.

2. Amanda at Queen Spa. Playful, firecracker Chinese provider. "Nene Tanaka jjda-024" is your Google search. Teddies look like those on the cover with long, thick nipples.

3. Tara. Thai legend. If you Google "Seana Rae definefetish" her and Tara have very similar bodies, but Tara's teddies are firmer with thicker nipples. Second biggest teds in the HOF.

4. Lily. Early 30's Chinese girl at CiCi Oriental Spa in Fredericksburg. Google "Gianna Michaels dress and heels". That balcony photo shoot is what Lily's body looks like, with less booty. Gorgeous teddies.

5. Mimi at 8303. Late 40's something Chinese provider. Teddies like Anri Okita. Third biggest. 8303 used to be a revolving door. Hopefully she sticks around.

6. Marianna. 50 something Ukrainian BBW in Silver Spring. Google "Porche Dali these tits'll knock ya out" (cringe I know), for her body type. Her teddies although being around the same size, are much nicer. Google "SPRD-632 Horikawa Nami" for nipple appearance and placement. Best edge tugger in the DMV.

7. Apple. Thick, Thai indy. Google "Codi Vore". Apple looks like that with much less of a tummy.

8. Nikki. Thai indy and owner of the biggest teddies in the HOF. Google "Ryan Smiles pawged" and look at the pics of her in the teal bathing suit. Now Google "my_vice_is_back nudes" and imagine those teddies with thicker nipples on the Ryan Smiles body and you have Nikki.

9. Vandara. Medium build, 50 something Thai indy with teds similar to Tomoko Kamisaka. Second best massage in the HOF.

Almost back to 10 brahs.

**GoodOne6969** · 09-01-23 19:46

Hello. I was passing through Vienna and stopped at Bubbly and want to post a review. However, there isn't a thread for Vienna and I'd appreciate it if someone would tell me the best city thread to post it on. Thanks for your help!

**You Chooch** · 09-01-23 13:53

Went back to Best today and saw Yumi again! She will be here until the 10th and will leave until mid. October and return. She said she is pretty much working everyday and they have not been that busy so your odds are pretty good of getting her. When I went today another MT answered the door, she had blonde hair and a beer belly. I asked for Yumi and she quickly obliged. If Yumi was not there or not available, I would have left. Good luck to all and stay safe!

**Serpico99** · 09-01-23 13:04

Originally Posted by YouChooch [View Original Post]

I shared my good fortune of Julie at K Therapy in Chantilly and now I can barely get in. Tried twice today and she was busy both times. I'm glad you're having fun with her, just be nice and take care of her!

I generally will hit up a spot two or three times in quick succession if the provider / AMP was really good so as to enjoy at least two good sessions prior to reviewing here, based on past experience like yours.

Also, it could the person who answered the phone has a personal disagreement with Julie and is trying to steer business away from her. Have known instances of that happening at other area AMPs.

**Karscfk** · 09-01-23 09:46

Pinetree in Fairfax, just a couple of doors down from Angel. This place has been wildly inconsistent for me over the years. Unlike some mongers, though, I have often had positive experiences with the fairly quickly rotating providers over the last year or so. They are on the younger side for NVa, and I like the dresses they wear that are sexier than at a lot of places. I don't generally go for FS at AMPs, but I occasionally do at Pinetree with the right provider. A couple of observations (some positive, some negative). For me, the price point here is ok (I know this is an issue for some on the board). . 6 at the door, 1. 6 tip for FS. I often can talk them down to 1. 4 (or just leave that on the table at the start to avoid negotiating all together). The FS tends to be good, not great — I always get the "too big" and "go slow" treatment. Oddly, I find that with the quick rotation the providers sometimes forget their "names. " They also leave the door wide open when they leave you to get undressed, which makes me a little uncomfortable. Finally, they seem to only change out the top towel between customers, leaving a thick blanket on the table. I try to jump over the blanket when I get on the table!

**Karscfk** · 08-31-23 22:11

My first post containing any kind of current information. For quite some time, I have frequented Angel in Fairfax. Like just about everyone else, I love the consistency of service here. Nice combination of a sensual, positive attitude and sense of connection with a consistent menu. No FS here and no BJ, but everything else on the table. Linda is a wonderful woman (I agree that she is 50 ish, but looks much younger) with long sensitive nipples. She loves to do this hot breath thing over your body that is very sensual. I also enjoyed Jenny, who last I heard now works at a casino in MD and is done with massage. Mimi was another favorite — she would let me massage her and would gush at a certain point. She occasionally comes back from NY for a short while, but I haven't seen her in a while. Most of the time, it's Linda and Anna. I don't really vibe with Anna, for whatever reason. She would be the most likely to catch my eye in real life just based on looks, but I have the least connection with her. Perfectly nice, pretty woman who aims to please, though.

**Tophat31** · 08-31-23 17:37

Originally Posted by NyHornet [View Original Post]

I too, had many, many visits with Nalee for lots of years. Anyone know her story? Did she just decide to stay in Thailand? Someone once suggested her TH was owned by her father.

Miss Nalee for sure. The best 4 hand I ever received was from her and her niece. The fact that they were related was a huge turn on. I may or may not have a video of it loll.

**You Chooch** · 08-31-23 15:59

I shared my good fortune of Julie at K Therapy in Chantilly and now I can barely get in. Tried twice today and she was busy both times. I'm glad you're having fun with her, just be nice and take care of her!

**You Chooch** · 08-31-23 15:54

Does anyone here remember Abbie from 11 in Herndon? She was tall, thin with a man made set of C's. She was super cute, super fun and very tight with a shaved kitty, she left about a year ago. If you know where she went, please PM me. Thanks!

**JsppsgFun4** · 08-31-23 14:17

Originally Posted by RickNva [View Original Post]

It's been a while since I've reported some mongering reviews. Looking at my bank statements, I realized I visited more than I thought in August. I'll try to be brief, happy to share more details if needed.

ZY Massage: previously reported on this place (and need to ignore the Kevins and Karens who might see you go in). But visited again, saw Eva again with same great massage, satisfying HE (she says no FS or BJ) but could be her rules and other girls will? I saw some nice bodies on other 4 providers working that night. I left near closing time and they were cleaning up. Chinese provider who blows belief that K-AMPs are better.

Healing Touch Therapy. Off Opitz Blvd, not to be confused with Healing Therapy in Lake Ridge. Saw Penny, older MT (50 ish), not the prettiest face but nice Chinese body. Another great CMT level massage by Chinese lady. Easy to talk with, allows OTC and UTC (after the flip). She says HJ is all they give for extras. FS not provided because too risky (health & legal issues). Definitely will repeat, might even be tonight. LOL.

Rte 1 Spa K-AMP with good table shower. Saw a different Eva whom I call 'Big Eva' (versus 'Little Eva' at ZY) because taller and bigger teddies. Decent massage, naked HE, does FS but I don't partake. Total damage $$ and may repeat for non-massage fun..

Thanks for the recon!

**Pathfinder04** · 08-31-23 13:58

I used to see ads for this from time to time on BP but I haven't in a long while. Does anyone have a couple they could recommend that gives massages to males?

**RyanHarvey** · 08-31-23 12:56

Originally Posted by RickNva [View Original Post]

Posted in escort forum but wanted to ask here too.

Does anyone know of a provider who does or will wear a hijab?

I've been attracted to many women who wear them but never considered fun with one. That change earlier this week while running errands. Now I have a new unicorn and a 4-day weekend to pursue it.

The only girl who looks like she might actually wear one is Jasmine from Secret Temptations. She's 100% Indian and does private viewing so you'll probably only get a HJ but I could see her wearing it for you. You might have to provide it.

**Member #6802** · 08-31-23 10:54

Posted in escort forum but wanted to ask here too.

Does anyone know of a provider who does or will wear a hijab?

I've been attracted to many women who wear them but never considered fun with one. That change earlier this week while running errands. Now I have a new unicorn and a 4-day weekend to pursue it.

**Karscfk** · 08-31-23 09:59

Long time listener, first time caller. First, a bit of an apology. I have been reading the forum for years without contributing, so I have benefited from all of your work for years. So I would like to try to give back a little bit. I won't be on the literary level of Frankie Digitola or The Drowned, but hopefully I can help some. I also will admit up front that my motives here aren't entirely altruistic— I've recently lost my ATF, so I'm hoping to get some help from the community in finding a new one!

Some quick nostalgic history. I've been mongering for 15 years. My first experience was at an AMP on old chain bridge road (same complex as Ruby and QQ) where you had to walk downstairs to get to the door. My therapist was Sunny, who had a small tattoo where her neck and back met. I didn't know any better, so when she asked if I had been there before, I told her no — and even admitted I'd never had a massage before! That visit ended with a naked HJ, and I was hooked. Some lessons from the experience— I still play it by ear at a new place as to whether I claim to have been there before. Sometimes, knowing you're a regular and not LEO helps, but I think I have often benefited from being a new client to be worked for. So I often tell them I've never been before at a new place.

Anyway, I saw Sunny for months, before learning another lesson. As I saw some of the other women at that spa, while I still enjoyed Sunny (and to this day I am a one ATF kind of monger if I find the right one), I sometimes wanted to try someone else. So one day I asked Sunny who else was available, and she showed me a new, younger therapist. When I chose the younger therapist, as my massage started, I could hear Sunny complaining loudly about me wanting to try someone else. My sessions with Sunny were never quite the same after that. Sometimes the spa dynamics are positive for sharing clients, but sometimes they aren't. With the therapists I connect with now, I try to let them lead on whether they share me with their colleagues.

Anyway, that's a bit about me. I'll post more (including some more timely reports) soon. Certainly feel free to reach out with questions or advice (or if you know where Sunny is!

**Serpico99** · 08-30-23 15:39

Originally Posted by LoonyBinPatrol [View Original Post]

Back to Forever wellness and saw Grace again. I'm not Asian so I really don't see her age like 50's at all. She must be in her late 30's bro! BTW, she gave me a good TS, FBSM and then covered man-meat sucking. Begged her to allow me to go CIM but she just smiled while stuffing it in her mouth. CBJCIM but it was fantastic.

Sounds like you are her shill because your previous review of this Grace person only a few weeks ago, you say she looks to be in her early 40's. LOL.