Massage Parlor Reports

[PriscillaM]

For some strange reason the El Pollo Loco there is always on point. Is this the place on the corner upstairs (I can't believe it is still open if it is)? I remember a giant shower / tub thing that had more LEDs in it than Marquee nightclub in Vegas.

I think it is one off from the true corner upstairs. Pollo loco you can have, not for me. Place is more salty than the dead sea. I have no doubt that there are 50-100 lurkers that are banging Latinas super hard in that place. For awhile, they censored reviews on some other sites. I like the dog they had.

[Im Yours]

This place is the worst kept secret on the westside. On the second floor of a strip mall with, inexplicably, an h salt fish and chips and a little Caesar's pizza. Some people use this address a post office drop box too.

Up on the second floor, on load bearing jointed floors are some of the fattest, meanest and as miserable as the shift change supervisor at Abu Ghreib prison massage girls you will ever find.

The system is easy to follow. You call first. You are let in by this security buzzer out of get smart. You pay for the half hour. There may be other options like 45 minutes or 48 hours, but those are as useless as the dosing size cap on Nyquil anyone who takes Nyquil out of that cup probably puts the seat down in the Goldfinger shitter.

You pay the 30 min and each room has a shower that has not been used since the advent of the wheel.

You lay down. A latina who averages 4000 calories a day with 400 grams of carbs in the mix comes in. She massages you for exactly the time it takes Kershaw to get another back injury, and then you fuck her. It is about as fun as watching Le bron go over the finer points of Milton's paradise lost..

For some strange reason the El Pollo Loco there is always on point. Is this the place on the corner upstairs (I can't believe it is still open if it is)? I remember a giant shower / tub thing that had more LEDs in it than Marquee nightclub in Vegas.

[Stickens]

If you ain't to comfortable then don't go up LOL.

It's a safe neighborhood trust me.

How are the girls?

[JuJu256]

Try mango a very beautiful & curvy (for a korean) provider. She's really good but is a bit toothy so you have to tell her to be careful with those teeth, enjoy!

Thank you!

[Eddy68]

Drove by that place on the second floor in Huntington Park, but I was too scared to go inside. PM if you know where I'm talking about and have intel.

If you ain't to comfortable then don't go up LOL.

It's a safe neighborhood trust me.

[PriscillaM]

Been there. While the rooms were as you described, everything else was the complete opposite for me. Person up front was like a Russian grandma, and the girl that came in was fat as fuck, so I just asked for a BJ (CBJ only) so I could close my eyes and get that shit over with. I've been staying far away from that place since.

This place is the worst kept secret on the westside. On the second floor of a strip mall with, inexplicably, an h salt fish and chips and a little Caesar's pizza. Some people use this address a post office drop box too.

Up on the second floor, on load bearing jointed floors are some of the fattest, meanest and as miserable as the shift change supervisor at Abu Ghreib prison massage girls you will ever find.

The system is easy to follow. You call first. You are let in by this security buzzer out of get smart. You pay for the half hour. There may be other options like 45 minutes or 48 hours, but those are as useless as the dosing size cap on Nyquil anyone who takes Nyquil out of that cup probably puts the seat down in the Goldfinger shitter.

You pay the 30 min and each room has a shower that has not been used since the advent of the wheel.

You lay down. A latina who averages 4000 calories a day with 400 grams of carbs in the mix comes in. She massages you for exactly the time it takes Kershaw to get another back injury, and then you fuck her. It is about as fun as watching Le bron go over the finer points of Milton's paradise lost.

I do not know how it exist, but then again, h salt fish and chips gets good reviews there.

[GeorgiaMikeC]

So, this place advertises more than the Russians on facebook and they even have a website:

https://lamassageandspa.com/lee-mass...na-del-rey-ca/

The pictures are real. Also, walker buehler is going to pitch again.

There have been some reviews here or there and I had a bender of westside fails this weekend, this was the least of them.

10/10 review.

[PriscillaM]

For many, they remember the girl that got away, the job they quit to start their own business only to fail at that endeavor, the person they shot in the back of the head only to hear the victim survived.

For me, it is what happened this Sunday at a-1 massage parlor on Pico, just a few homeless bodies north of Lincoln.

Like I said, I was on a fucken bender of the worst kind. I was like that fucker on money ball trying to get my nut off the way it should be torked by some Rusike prostitute in an a a building off Beverly glen for 500. But no such luck due to the paucity of Russian meat, so I figured I would hit every fucken MP in san Mon. / Venice / Mdr, until I was drained. At 100-150 a fastball, I could try for a triple crown.

So, a-1 massage which has been in Santa Monica longer than fucke cha cha chicken was my target after bum rushing out of lee massage in MDR.

Now, a-1 shares a parking lot with something called the "German American" club. I am guessing that they do not host a whole lot of DEI symposia there. Oh, Oktoberfest is schedule for September 11, so avoid the parking lot on that day. A-1 is upstairs and you walk up this staircase that looks like some shit from an Escher sketch.

As you enter an alarm goes off.

It is as if you went through the stargate to the planet of the sun god ra, except without all the sand.

The mamasan, who is far and away the ugliest person I have seen up close since I dated this girl at UCLA with fucken dog mouth, I mean this mamasan was so bad looking she knew to tell me that she would not be giving me a hand job. She said it is 50 for a half and I needed my I'd. I forgot my wallet in the car, but she let me in.

Walked me to the backroom for my session and on the way was a storage with enough paper towels and toilet paper to explain that whole covid19 shortage. I mean unless they are jerking off sperm whales back there and wiping their shitters too, no one needs that much toilet tissue.

I get face down and in comes lee. Now I had asked for coco based on the rub reviews. A girl that apparently does not exist. I said I had been there before and I also said that the Patrick Beverley trade is the answer to the disastrous Talen Horton-Tucker and Kendrick Nunn on non-minimum contracts.

In walks lee, and I am sure of two things. The rebels were on the hot system and this is the oldest person ever to see my asshole.

Lee has to be 60. Her hair is jet black, like think of the color del taco coffee at midnight on a stop off on the 5 freeway with no lights. She was wearing a mask. She had on some ridiculous church dress. I immediately decided that this was life and death. I was going to get a hand job from this old bag.

She massaged me and I fucken groped her everywhere. I got more over the clothes action that most guys get on seeking arrangements from non pros.

She turned me over and I fucken yanked off the towel and was like, I give you tip.

She was nonplussed and not interested.

After some more over the clothes manhandling (think Jimmy superfly Snuka on hulk Hogan), she called time. No hand job, no postmortem, no survey monkey satisfaction questionnaire.

I walked out and a three sleestak assault drill greeted me. It was mamasan, lee, and I think lee's grandmother. You could have stacked them on top of each other and you would still need to lower the rim to slam dunk. Lee had her hand out. I did a patented three step drop and walked right by these three stygian witches and just thought how rewarding it would be to write this hathotic review.

[AssusPrime]

So, this place advertises more than the Russians on facebook and they even have a website:

https://lamassageandspa.com/lee-mass...na-del-rey-ca/

The pictures are real. Also, walker buehler is going to pitch again.

There have been some reviews here or there and I had a bender of westside fails this weekend, this was the least of them.

First off, the place's location is as stupid as its namesake. This is a large strip mall (it is unknown to those out of the area and it is the last place in the area with decent fast food) that was designed by roark on fentanyl. It has odd parking islands, a tenant mix and layout that would make corbusier proud, and literally not a single cock hair of shade.

Lee massage is at the northwest end, one door west of the panda express. More on that later. There is an empty space next to it to the west and then a US Postal service annex next to the empty space.

There is a sign that has about 500 mega candle power. I rolled there around 10 am. There is on the wall of the panda express the world's busiest ATM, so forget about sneaking in privately. Some dud was nursing a coffee for a few hours and the panda had it going on..

Another comic gem. Hilarious. I bet Priscilla gets paid to write. I have been paid to write and edit. Priscilla is a pro. One of the hardest things to develop is a distinctive voice that you own and can repeatedly use. This guy has a voice. I am guessing many years of TV and writers rooms.

[PriscillaM]

Expectations are important.

I had some time to kill and an extra 250. So I walked right into the Zen on Washington.

This is the place that is managed by my three year old.

https://us-sanfernandovalley.bedpage.../22550338.html

They are about 1 mile from the water, and they advertise on san Fernando valley bedpage.

To understand management here, you would probably do well watching one flew over the cuckoo's nest.

The front desk is run by this sort of attractive (a step up from the fucken hippo) black woman whose management style is "I don't really give a fuck" she takes the money and has you wait while she is on the phone for apparently the millionth time with the place's payment processor.

Her phone manners are peak to the stereotype. It was pretty fun to watch her employ all of her iq to deal with the payment problem. I paid cash. 250.

My girl was Gabi, a morbidly obese Latina but with actual great hands for dickwork.

I get in and I was hoping she was just an attendant. She is wearing like dickey type scrubs. Lays me face down with a towel the size of a candy dish doily over my asshole.

She does a shoulder massage for about as long as the last two minutes of an NBA game.

Finally she goes south and towards the end she grabs my nuts like she is feeling mangos.

On the flip, she starts with ball and dick work. I got her down to her panties and she was sweating all over me. I could tell that I was going to go the full time because she was just not doing it for me.

She russianed me and came close to blowing.

I finally asked how we were on time, she said one minute. So I positioned her in firing position, unlocked the safety, and shot loads that impressed her. She was like that is some control there.

This place is truly horrendous.

[PriscillaM]

So, this place advertises more than the Russians on facebook and they even have a website:

https://lamassageandspa.com/lee-mass...na-del-rey-ca/

The pictures are real. Also, walker buehler is going to pitch again.

There have been some reviews here or there and I had a bender of westside fails this weekend, this was the least of them.

First off, the place's location is as stupid as its namesake. This is a large strip mall (it is unknown to those out of the area and it is the last place in the area with decent fast food) that was designed by roark on fentanyl. It has odd parking islands, a tenant mix and layout that would make corbusier proud, and literally not a single cock hair of shade.

Lee massage is at the northwest end, one door west of the panda express. More on that later. There is an empty space next to it to the west and then a US Postal service annex next to the empty space.

There is a sign that has about 500 mega candle power. I rolled there around 10 am. There is on the wall of the panda express the world's busiest ATM, so forget about sneaking in privately. Some dud was nursing a coffee for a few hours and the panda had it going on.

I figured after about 10 min of surveillance that I was going in.

I did a quick pincer movement to get defilade and went in.

I hear someone rustling in the back, and there is a sign up sheet. The walls do not go to the top. Out comes this life form, no bigger than Lizzo's pinky and no younger than Mary at Chen's. Woman looked like toothpick. I asked her. Do you still play hula hoop with cheerio? She has more liver spots than *46. I was like, is candy still here (read that she was an Asian with ample tits). She said no, she quit to work on the hadron super collider. She the human pinky was the only one there, although I heard something in the back, kind of like the sound of 1000's of mongers when alderaan blew up.

I quickly walked out. I am not sure how the owner of this place, who also owns a place in the valley, can afford the rent.

I did check in at the panda express. They do have popcorn shrimp. One of the iconic moments of my shit life was at that panda express when two kids were with mom and one of them said, "this popcorn shrimp is so fucken good", and I looked over and a bunch of others looked over, and the mom looked at me, this was peak 2017 marina del rey, and the place was full of some high school traveling soccer team. So I said "not as good as this fucken lo mein" - laughter erupted.

[KCowGirl69]

Is there any girl that does BBBJ at Coco Aroma? If so, what's her name? Or what are their names?

Try mango a very beautiful & curvy (for a korean) provider. She's really good but is a bit toothy so you have to tell her to be careful with those teeth, enjoy!

[Stickens]

Drove by that place on the second floor in Huntington Park, but I was too scared to go inside. PM if you know where I'm talking about and have intel.

[TaxiTaxi]

Great report, the only thing missing was what was the damage besides the house fee?

Oh yeah, house was $50 and I gave the girl $160.

[LAPartner]

Earlier today I woke up sore and was craving that which is pretty much impossible to find: An actual good massage with a good HE afterwards. I decided to try out a new place and am here to report that while I didn't find what I wanted, I found something that was still pretty nice.

https://us-losangeles.bedpage.com/fe.../22504974.html

This is the place I picked, primarily because they claimed there's a sauna and rain shower in every room, which to me meant I could get a legit massage there. They're currently appointment only, so I called and made an appointment. Cash only.

I show up and pay the $50 fee. Right off the bat the mamasan struck me as being legit attractive. I would've been fine if she was the one servicing me. But instead she led me to my room and called someone else.

The room was great. Idk if this matters to anyone but me, but they weren't lying. There was a sauna and a tub with jets in the room. There was no massage table, instead there was a queen sized bed that was pretty soft and comfortable..

Been there. While the rooms were as you described, everything else was the complete opposite for me. Person up front was like a Russian grandma, and the girl that came in was fat as fuck, so I just asked for a BJ (CBJ only) so I could close my eyes and get that shit over with. I've been staying far away from that place since.