Massage Parlor Reports

[k__rat]

Saw "Sally" at Lucky today. She pantomimed boom-boom while fully clothed. Negotiated BJ and she produced Saran Wrap. No thanks. A dispirited HJ followed with limited utc roaming. I couldn't even finish. Do not recommend.

I've seen three providers at that place now and two of them have been lousy. I think I just got lucky the first time. Don't think I'll be going back.

Bleah.

[OneOne9]

Found a new shop that just opened in Vancouver. It's next to Cascade Park Animal Hospital on 164th that I take my pet to. Long story short, finally found a young girl that speaks English, gives a good massage and does a great BJ / HJ. Since I was only person in shop, had time to chat with her, she's in her mid 20's came here for college and now is doing massage. Total damage was. 6 to house and 1 for BJ / HJ and chatting since I went over time. Cash / ApplePay / Venmo only since they're brand spanking new, you can still smell the paint. Table shower was extra $10.

I stopped by recently and they have raised their rates to 50/30 70/60 +10 for TS. I didn't stay, too many 30/40 60/60 shops with TS included in Vancouver.

[Sancho1999]

I think you're going to have a hard time finding a provider willing to go for that in an AMP setting. It's pretty hard to pretend it's "just a massage" when it's two customers at the same time and there's risk to the girl to be alone with two men, especially in places where the girl is working alone, unI think you're more likely to find what you want elsewhere. You can probably even get it for free on some place like fetlife if you can find a swinger couple looking for a third.

Especially here in Oregon. In L. A. MAYBE or Hawaii. You are more likely to have 3-sum with another girl, but two guyz, a snow-balls chance in hell.

[k__rat]

I've done pretty much everything I've wanted to do at an AMP. Want to push the envelope and try something new at an AMP. It involves one masseuse and a bi or heteroflexible guy. Don't want to go into too many details but if this piques anyone's interest and you know of an AMP that may be open to this, send me a PM. Not trying to offend anyone, I just want to do something I've been thinking about for awhile.

I think you're going to have a hard time finding a provider willing to go for that in an AMP setting. It's pretty hard to pretend it's "just a massage" when it's two customers at the same time and there's risk to the girl to be alone with two men, especially in places where the girl is working alone, unI think you're more likely to find what you want elsewhere. You can probably even get it for free on some place like fetlife if you can find a swinger couple looking for a third.

[WestSidePunter]

Yes they do. Its in the back bathroom across from the room the workers hang out in. Its a black table in the shower stall. I don't understand why you would make a post to say something doesn't exist when in fact it does. Hell I had to pay extra to use it. Maybe its new since you went last, but I assure you there is a table shower there and I used it!

I will be doing some investigative journalism next week, I think.

For science, of course.

[PMThomas]

I've done pretty much everything I've wanted to do at an AMP. Want to push the envelope and try something new at an AMP. It involves one masseuse and a bi or heteroflexible guy. Don't want to go into too many details but if this piques anyone's interest and you know of an AMP that may be open to this, send me a PM. Not trying to offend anyone, I just want to do something I've been thinking about for awhile.

[SnAppleMgfm]

There is fun to be had. There's usually only the owner working, so there are occasional interruptions. She's mid-40's, I think pretty, and nicely shaped. Not sure how far someone new will get, but certainly a HE and UTC is likely.

The few times I've gone (last year), it's been very enthusiastic work. Never got more than CBJ, but I think it's possible. Vicinity to traffic keep me away from the place though.

[WanderingPuntr]

CNE doesn't have a table shower.

Yes they do. Its in the back bathroom across from the room the workers hang out in. Its a black table in the shower stall. I don't understand why you would make a post to say something doesn't exist when in fact it does. Hell I had to pay extra to use it. Maybe its new since you went last, but I assure you there is a table shower there and I used it!

[WestSidePunter]

Thanks West, that place has been on my radar for some time now. Guess it will still be a mystery until I go check it out for myself, (I just have to tell myself, 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes). I opt for the places that stand alone in the middle nowhere because it seems to me they try to make an effort to get more business by word of mouth. Also I really would have a fair looking provider who does a good job then a hot looking young girl who is playing the GPS role.

I rather enjoy Anna / Cindy / Lena / whatever else she goes by these days. She's pretty, though starting to show her age, and gives a good massage.

[Sancho1999]

CNE doesn't have a table shower.

Thanks West, that place has been on my radar for some time now. Guess it will still be a mystery until I go check it out for myself, (I just have to tell myself, 30 minutes, 30 minutes, 30 minutes). I opt for the places that stand alone in the middle nowhere because it seems to me they try to make an effort to get more business by word of mouth. Also I really would have a fair looking provider who does a good job then a hot looking young girl who is playing the GPS role.

[WestSidePunter]

I went to CNE Massage over on Canyon Ln. I picked them because they had a table shower. $50 for a half hour plus $20 for the table shower. I was there so I said Fuck it and paid the fee. I saw Lili, typical 40 something chubby Chinese woman. Not sure what she looked like because she never took of her mask. Everything is dark here. They keep the lights low. They do this because the place is filthy. I've been to some dive parlors before, this one was easy top 10 for dirty. I was offered to take my shower first or at the end. I opted for the end because I realized early on this would be a rub and tug only place and I don't like going home oily. Lili used a lot of oil, I was bathing in it. But it allowed her to give me a rather nice sensual massage. She played a lot with my ass and taint while she massaged the rest of me. On the flip she started a very well lubricated rub while massaging my prostate. She got pretty deep with her probing so if you are not into that you may want to pass. OTC hand roaming was allowed, I didn't try for under but I could pretty much touch her wherever. After I was done went to the table shower where she did a very nice job washing my whole body making sure to wash the sensitive parts really well. Would I go back here, no. Lili was nice but I have no idea what she looked like because of the mask. Plus the place is really dirty, that bugs me. There are much better times to be had elsewhere but I wanted to share my experience so that you all have this info. Now someone can take my review and pass it off as their own on one of the other MP sites so that you can get VIP for free. Damage, $50 hour, $20 for table shower, $60 for tip based off how far her finger was up my ass.

CNE doesn't have a table shower.

[Joepdx]

You can try Sweet Spa in Vancouver. They have brand new table shower and a young girl there to wash your ass and body. The table shower room looks like those Japanese ones fully tiled so maybe you can negotiate for something more?

They would need to have the mattress, the nuru gel, etc, etc. Plus seems like she's the only one working there. She can't very well stop in the middle of a nuru session to answer the door.

[Monkeyboy1977]

I am looking for a place that does NuRu. If that doesn't exist at least a nice table shower. Can anyone let me know where I might find that?

You can try Sweet Spa in Vancouver. They have brand new table shower and a young girl there to wash your ass and body. The table shower room looks like those Japanese ones fully tiled so maybe you can negotiate for something more?

[Pdx503]

Super is located on BH Hwy not for from a grocery store. Hasn't been there long, maybe a month. Entered around 6 pm to a trio who might have been retired from the from Beijing Z league, plus one kid of about 6. I should have turned heel right there, but I felt like taking one for the team. Or something. House fee was. 6 for an HR, or. 65 for you idiots dumb enough to use your V / MC (hint: they read your data and pass it around). Not a lot of English spoken, all of it broken. Mama led me to the room and we nearly marched in on another session. Sorry if that was you. If I'd only have thought to say, "What the hell is going on in here!" perhaps I'd have completed the scene.

Ma got me to a room and turned me loose. Know how sometimes you wait forever at that point? Well, this was about 120 seconds. I was just stripped and making sure crap was secure in my pockets when the masseuse came storming in, saw me in the buff and screamed. Mama came running in and demanded I get on the table, face down and cover up with a blanket provided. No, not a sheet, a blanket. And yes it was 174 degrees outside and the AC was hardly sufficient, just as you'd suspect. This was going to hell faster (and hotter) than I could have imagined. Masseuse came back in and rubbed me with the blanket on. She was all fists and elbows and came close to squeezing and beating the living shirt out of me. My protests went unheeded. I don't know if that was because of the language barrier or if I was receiving my just punishment for the shocking, shocking scene before we got off the ground.

Mercifully, the blanket got pulled halfway down but by that time I was sweating like a September sow. She had to have thought so too because she oiled me up like I was going on the spit.

I enjoyed reading this during my lunchbreak.

[BoneRoller]

Super is located on BH Hwy not for from a grocery store. Hasn't been there long, maybe a month. Entered around 6 pm to a trio who might have been retired from the from Beijing Z league, plus one kid of about 6. I should have turned heel right there, but I felt like taking one for the team. Or something. House fee was. 6 for an HR, or. 65 for you idiots dumb enough to use your V / MC (hint: they read your data and pass it around). Not a lot of English spoken, all of it broken. Mama led me to the room and we nearly marched in on another session. Sorry if that was you. If I'd only have thought to say, "What the hell is going on in here!" perhaps I'd have completed the scene.

Ma got me to a room and turned me loose. Know how sometimes you wait forever at that point? Well, this was about 120 seconds. I was just stripped and making sure crap was secure in my pockets when the masseuse came storming in, saw me in the buff and screamed. Mama came running in and demanded I get on the table, face down and cover up with a blanket provided. No, not a sheet, a blanket. And yes it was 174 degrees outside and the AC was hardly sufficient, just as you'd suspect. This was going to hell faster (and hotter) than I could have imagined. Masseuse came back in and rubbed me with the blanket on. She was all fists and elbows and came close to squeezing and beating the living shirt out of me. My protests went unheeded. I don't know if that was because of the language barrier or if I was receiving my just punishment for the shocking, shocking scene before we got off the ground.

Mercifully, the blanket got pulled halfway down but by that time I was sweating like a September sow. She had to have thought so too because she oiled me up like I was going on the spit. I was covered in that cheap, lousy smelling stuff some of the places use. After 25 minutes or so, I called time. I was hot, smelly and in pain and could think of nothing that sounded sweeter than getting the fork out of there, getting in my air conditioned car, and going to somewhere where I wasn't going to be baked, seasoned and assaulted in the same sitting. This place is striving for strictly legit, and that's fine, but somehow I think I'd get a better massage during a barfight in Juarez. There is probably some guy out there who would delight in the Super Dooper Catholic Decency League Certified treatment. Step this way, I sez. I'll take my lumps elsewhere.