"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Ernest Ll]

OK, here is some advice that is blunt. Sorry that it isn't PC. If you can get past the style....

As others have said you need to get down to brass tacks yourself in your approach! Look, there are a TONNE of guys out there that are too inept to meet, scared to meet or who just get off jacking off to convos with girls. Girls get tired of dealing with them. You need to distinguish yourself from those dudes.

Remember as you are sizing her up she is sizing you up. Be straight forward after a few texts that you want to meet. What I read there was WAY too circumspect. Get to the point! It is Not her job to ASK you to meet. No girl is going to say she is there to sell her pussy. Some girls want to be sought after, wanted. I don't see that in what you wrote. It is too round about.

Ask her when she is free to meet for coffee, drinks, dinner, lunch, etc. Suggest a couple of times that are good for you. Also suggest a place. That is a DEFINITIVE offer that she can evaluate and accept, refuse or counter. That will get her off go. DO NOT offer to pay for any funds for a Meet & Greet! The M&G is a job interview. You see if she is honest, straight forward, as shown in pics and someone you will be comfortable getting naked with. She will be sizing you up: can he pay? Is he looking for ongoing or one time? Is he going to hurt me or kill me? Also at the meet & greet you can discuss her vision of "help" for her time. Follow the same rule as SW: never talk sex and money of any kind of remuneration..

You need to be a man and act like one.

First, clear the air. "so you're friend told you to get on SA. Has she had an actual in-person arrangement?" so you can have some sense of what she really knows, and she can reveal "what her friend has done with a man 2 x a her age" , so you can follow up accordingly. If she says she doesn't know, or its just been virtual, then lay it out for her.

Secondly, make a plan, but be clear and respectful. I always tell them meetings are to make sure we click in person as well as we have in messaging. And while I'm not morally opposed to running to the nearest hotel if the sparks fly, its not my expectation on a first meeting. Again, laying it out for her, but setting a fairly respectful boundary and expectation.

[John G Smith]

What you will need is a prepaid Vanilla Visa Card. There is a picture of one posted by FarFarAway several pages (3+?) back. Remember there maybe a 5. 95 usage or signup fee so buy a bit more than the SA price. That will get you on SA.

However, if you want MAX privacy do the following:
*snip*

Really great advice especially in relation to current tech and resources.

But I would just caution you can have an anonymous burner phone with a two layer VPN attached to a fake I'd, but if you leave your burner phone in a jacket pocket, then all that subterfuge is completely useless and in some cases exasperates the situation further. This is why I try to reduce as many "foreign objects" as possible. The advantages of a burner phone is that you can really leave "no trace" with it from a records / digital standpoint whereas something like Google Voice is a like parasitic fungus relentlessly trying to find and integrate itself into your personal data until you can no longer separate it cleanly. But I classify a burner as a "foreign object" that will raise alarms on sight. Your SO wouldn't even need the pin to unlock the phone, it's very presence is like her finding a hairbrush with strands of long wavy red hair. There's no clean explanation for it. Same thing with Vanilla VISA cards. They're not as incriminating as a burner phone, but it's a foreign object.

So I think it's important to strike a balance between subterfuge to conceal a paper trail between leaving foreign objects around. Because 8 times out of 10, guys get busted for leaving the "tape in the VCR". This is also why I recommend using the technique of "hiding in plain sight" for some things. This gives you some margin of error and you can see ahead of time if someone is getting too close to the cookie jar. For example, if you're going to use Vanilla Visa cards, start using them in your everyday life with your SO. Find some excuse to use prepaid cards like for budgeting or identify theft reasons. This way if you leave your sugar prepaid card lying around, your SO won't bat an eye because she thinks it's the same one you use for DoorDash. So I think it's important to strike a balance in techniques and always err on the side of reducing foreign objects.

BTW, having a sugar baby in your car is always risky. Her scent, her leaving hair ties, and etc. Having a SB in your car is like a spore for foreign objects. But if you're going to do it, make sure no one goes into or uses your car for 24 hours if it can be helped. You should examine your car in full daylight and drive it some for foreign objects to be dislodged from hidden places and to have the windows down to help get rid of strong odors. So right after you drop of your SB, you should do a deep cleaning of your car, and then 12-18 hours later do another cleaning in bright conditions to make sure you got everything. But for God's sake don't let your SO in your car within just a few hours of driving your SB around town and having backseat sex.

Scammers

Briefly about the college time waster from Germany. I hate to break it to you, but she's fake. Or at the very least not in San Diego. Those SA geolocation things are pretty accurate and they're for your benefit. But let's say her location says "United States" and yet something still feels off. I usually do something like this to see if she really does live in my area. I'll say some of the following:

"Wow, crazy weather we had yesterday, right?

*If she claims to live in downtown*.

"What do you think of *popular downtown restaurant*.

*After you ask her for her favorite foods*.

"What are some of the good places that serve that dish?

"Have you been to a San Diego 49 ers game before?

Of course a diligent person could lookup and research the answers for all of these. But 9 times out of 10, scammers are lazy. If they can't answer something, they'll just give a vague answer or deflect. One or two vague answers can be normal, but if the person you're chatting with consistently gives you vague, wrong, or non-answers to questions related to the local area or meeting up in person, then chances are high she doesn't actually live in the area.

I also like college girls that haven't become "pro-sugar babies" yet. They can sometimes require a little more massaging and patience but once it gets going the arrangement can feel more natural. That said, if a girl is actually serious about pursing an arrangement, they are usually eager to meet within a week of chatting. Sometimes schedule conflicts may push it by a couple of weeks. But if you've been chatting for over a week and there hasn't been any talk of meeting and person, then it's a waste of time. Most legit girls in a local area, want to meet right away. If they don't want to meet it's either because they don't live in the area, they want an online-only arrangement, they're not serious / ready for an arrangement, or they already have a sugar daddy and they're setting you as a backup.

My current sugar baby is a college girl who was completely new to arrangements and we met within 3 days of chatting. And we've been seeing each other for 6 months now. Remember if a girl is actually in college and if she's attractive, she's constantly meeting and hanging with people all the time. College girls aren't shy about meeting new people And she shouldn't be overly shy / reluctant to meet with you unless you're literally inviting her to your dungeon on the first date.

[Shampoo55]

Fellas I am in San Diego but you are the masters. THANK YOU for all the info here, I have been laughing at all the scammers and vapids on SA. I hope to be able to contribute here but I am a newbie. Let me throw this one out here.

https://www.seeking.com/member/006d4...f-228be0f30d67

I have had several perfectly normal chats with this girl, talking about grad school and what not, but at some point you have to start getting down to brass tacks, right? She is my ideal case, a college student with goals that needs a little help. Although that is not exactly clear from her profile, info is it. Here is a pic of the last few texts I've had with her, and frankly I don't know how to respond to her last text. Is she just playing dumb and jerking me around? She has been a member for a year, seriously acting like you just stumbled onto SA? Am I supposed to spend endless hours chatting up a girl like this to convince her to sell herself? Anyway I'm thinking that I'm wasting my time with this one. Or does anyone think this could moved forward from here?

OK, here is some advice that is blunt. Sorry that it isn't PC. If you can get past the style....

As others have said you need to get down to brass tacks yourself in your approach! Look, there are a TONNE of guys out there that are too inept to meet, scared to meet or who just get off jacking off to convos with girls. Girls get tired of dealing with them. You need to distinguish yourself from those dudes.

Remember as you are sizing her up she is sizing you up. Be straight forward after a few texts that you want to meet. What I read there was WAY too circumspect. Get to the point! It is Not her job to ASK you to meet. No girl is going to say she is there to sell her pussy. Some girls want to be sought after, wanted. I don't see that in what you wrote. It is too round about.

Ask her when she is free to meet for coffee, drinks, dinner, lunch, etc. Suggest a couple of times that are good for you. Also suggest a place. That is a DEFINITIVE offer that she can evaluate and accept, refuse or counter. That will get her off go. DO NOT offer to pay for any funds for a Meet & Greet! The M&G is a job interview. You see if she is honest, straight forward, as shown in pics and someone you will be comfortable getting naked with. She will be sizing you up: can he pay? Is he looking for ongoing or one time? Is he going to hurt me or kill me? Also at the meet & greet you can discuss her vision of "help" for her time. Follow the same rule as SW: never talk sex and money of any kind of remuneration.

IF you have chemistry at the M&G you can offer to take her right away to the FC. So have a plan for that. Don't expect her to know of or suggest a place, er, unless she is a pro.

But dude- GET TO THE POINT! Ask her to meet! You follow this and you will quickly flush out the scammers who want you to go to the OnlyFans page, who EXPECT payment for the M&G or who need $ upfront for gas money, baby sitter, etc.

[Hal1957]

I had two leaving shit in my house all the time so I got two ditty bags with name tags for each. Put SB-A's stuff out when she was coming, hid the stuff from SB-B.

Had a sugar drop a very feminine looking mask in my passenger side. Another sugar found it, just told her must of belong to my sister who brought my car a few days ago.

[Kingmaletx]

Yeah I didn't know what to make of that, texting from a San Diego area code though. Spoofed?

I've met with girls that were technically savvy and were using a vpn. Honestly, only way to find out if she is legit is to get down to the point.

I don't chat for days, unless I'm not in the area, and I know I'll be there in a week, 2 weeks, or the SB is having some scheduling conflicts.

Her question, "waste time? I would then use that as a good way to get to 'business'. That's when I would say something like, yes, I'm here to look for an SB, and I usually like to meet first, blah blah blah. Whatever your way is.

[MaxKat]

For whatever its worth, just checked her profile. The recent login was from Germany. You may want to check that with her if you want to move forward.

Play Safe.

Dr. S.

Yeah I didn't know what to make of that, texting from a San Diego area code though. Spoofed?

[DrSummer]

For whatever its worth, just checked her profile. The recent login was from Germany. You may want to check that with her if you want to move forward.

Play Safe.

Dr. S.

Fellas I am in San Diego but you are the masters. THANK YOU for all the info here, I have been laughing at all the scammers and vapids on SA. I hope to be able to contribute here but I am a newbie. Let me throw this one out here.

https://www.seeking.com/member/006d4...f-228be0f30d67

I have had several perfectly normal chats with this girl, talking about grad school and what not, but at some point you have to start getting down to brass tacks, right? She is my ideal case, a college student with goals that needs a little help. Although that is not exactly clear from her profile, info is it. Here is a pic of the last few texts I've had with her, and frankly I don't know how to respond to her last text. Is she just playing dumb and jerking me around? She has been a member for a year, seriously acting like you just stumbled onto SA? Am I supposed to spend endless hours chatting up a girl like this to convince her to sell herself? Anyway I'm thinking that I'm wasting my time with this one. Or does anyone think this could moved forward from here?

[Tidad]

Fellas I am in San Diego but you are the masters. THANK YOU for all the info here, I have been laughing at all the scammers and vapids on SA. I hope to be able to contribute here but I am a newbie. Let me throw this one out here.

https://www.seeking.com/member/006d4...f-228be0f30d67

I have had several perfectly normal chats with this girl, talking about grad school and what not, but at some point you have to start getting down to brass tacks, right? She is my ideal case, a college student with goals that needs a little help. Although that is not exactly clear from her profile, info is it. Here is a pic of the last few texts I've had with her, and frankly I don't know how to respond to her last text. Is she just playing dumb and jerking me around? She has been a member for a year, seriously acting like you just stumbled onto SA? Am I supposed to spend endless hours chatting up a girl like this to convince her to sell herself? Anyway I'm thinking that I'm wasting my time with this one. Or does anyone think this could moved forward from here?

I think you go straight to it; tell her you'd like to spend time together. She has joined a sugar daddy website after talking to a friend who is also on the site, she's a grad student so not a dummy. Even if she's not a grad student and her girlfriend didn't lead her there, its the story she is using to meet you and she's an adult female. She's been ducking (or not?) older men looking to fuck since she was a teenager. She knows exactly what you want, the question is how much do you want it? Ask her for a real world date, don't take "that time / day doesn't work" more than twice.

[MaxKat]

Fellas I am in San Diego but you are the masters. THANK YOU for all the info here, I have been laughing at all the scammers and vapids on SA. I hope to be able to contribute here but I am a newbie. Let me throw this one out here.

https://www.seeking.com/member/006d4...f-228be0f30d67

I have had several perfectly normal chats with this girl, talking about grad school and what not, but at some point you have to start getting down to brass tacks, right? She is my ideal case, a college student with goals that needs a little help. Although that is not exactly clear from her profile, info is it. Here is a pic of the last few texts I've had with her, and frankly I don't know how to respond to her last text. Is she just playing dumb and jerking me around? She has been a member for a year, seriously acting like you just stumbled onto SA? Am I supposed to spend endless hours chatting up a girl like this to convince her to sell herself? Anyway I'm thinking that I'm wasting my time with this one. Or does anyone think this could moved forward from here?

[Member #7176]

Had a sugar drop a very feminine looking mask in my passenger side. Another sugar found it, just told her must of belong to my sister who brought my car a few days ago.

I've NEVER had a SB in my car, but damned if someone at the dealership didn't leave a water bottle in the door compartment for my SO to find.

[Ernest Ll]

7. If the girl is ever in your ride, stop at a convenience store on the way home and give your car a thorough search. Under the seats, between seats, under mats, in door pockets. Look anywhere a bobble earring might fall into or drugs might get stashed.

I've NEVER had a SB in my car, but damned if someone at the dealership didn't leave a water bottle in the door compartment for my SO to find.

[Shampoo55]

I have been on and off SA for the past 3 years.

Want to jump back in but my personal situation now requires me to be super careful and "lean no trace" behind.

I sued to simply punch in my own CC, can't do that anymore.

How do others handle this. Stopped at Walgreens and the number of prepaid cc was overwhelming. No idea what to get or how it works?

Thanks in advance for your help on this.

What you will need is a prepaid Vanilla Visa Card. There is a picture of one posted by FarFarAway several pages (3+?) back. Remember there maybe a 5. 95 usage or signup fee so buy a bit more than the SA price. That will get you on SA.

However, if you want MAX privacy do the following:

1. Get a burner phone. Usually can find a cheap "smart" phone for $30 in the drug stores or Wally World. Renewal 35-50 depending on plan. You will have to buy a renewal 'card" each month, mix up where you buy that. PAY CASH. Use a fake name AND a real address. Select an address of a HUGE local Apt Complex, leave off the Apt #. Don't give a business address.

2. Sign up for and use a VOIP App for all of your sugar communications! Google Voice, TextNow, etc (read down there is a number of posts on these apps) Layer that on your burner phone NOT on your regular phone. There is often "leakage" with apps and you don't want that to happen if SO is around or borrowing your phone. Level 1 danger "happens" you can block the girl on the App. Level 3 danger and you block her AND toss the phone in the nearest body of water and start over.

3. Sign up for a burner email account. Some use the encrypted or hidden email accounts: Hushmail, proton, etc. You need a REAL phone number (burner number) to sign up with Gmail and Yahoo mail.

4. Sign up for SA using the Vanilla prepaid card. Use the above info to do so.

5. As OP have pointed out, use a "stage" name when talking with girls. Reveal little personal info. Don't tell them where you work, use competitor company if you must say something.

6. Pay cash for everything associated with the Bowl: hotels, gifts, food, etc. For goodness sake, don't keep receipts for any of it! Some guys get the girl to put the room on their CC and give them the cash for it.

7. If the girl is ever in your ride, stop at a convenience store on the way home and give your car a thorough search. Under the seats, between seats, under mats, in door pockets. Look anywhere a bobble earring might fall into or drugs might get stashed.

8. Wrap up used condoms and take them with you. Don't leave them in hotel, you can toss them in the trash when you stop to check your car.

That should help you transition to leaving little if any trace for a SO to find.

Good luck!

[John G Smith]

I have been on and off SA for the past 3 years.

Want to jump back in but my personal situation now requires me to be super careful and "lean no trace" behind.

I sued to simply punch in my own CC, can't do that anymore.

How do others handle this. Stopped at Walgreens and the number of prepaid cc was overwhelming. No idea what to get or how it works?

Thanks in advance for your help on this.

Honestly it depends on what level of privacy you're looking for. In this day and age, there's no such thing as "leave no trace" behind. .

But I'll give you a few levels of security and you can figure out what works for you.

Lavel 1 - If your spouse rarely or almost never checks your statements, and you just one to obscure the actual SA charge then you can maybe get a prepaid card (that's able to do online purchases) or a Paypal debit card. You pay SA with Paypal card. You can then load the Paypal or prepaid with cash at the store and then pay SA. The downside is if your spouse asks you why you have a prepaid card, then you may have problems. It's sort of like finding your spouse with a second phone.

Level 2 - If your spouse is regularly checking your paper statements and looking at your wallet, then get a new credit card and use a PO Box and sign up for paperless. And pay by mail. If she sees a legit credit card in your wallet, it probably won't raise any flags. She may make a mental note to look for statements, but she'll probably forget. And if she does ask, you can say you signed up for paperless. And then you can always give her an edited statement. Also you can use this credit card for dinners and hotels with SBs.

Level 3 - Your spouse has threatened divorce and / or is aggressively looking through paper statements, e-statements, and your credit report. My advice would be to not go on SA or just get divorced. If someone is aggressively looking for irregularities, they will find it. The only thing I could suggest would be to find someone in person who will essentially pay for SA for you and you pay them in cash. But of course you're now exposed to that person. And again, if you have to be this discreet just purchasing the SA membership, how are you going to hide allowance payments, gifts, dinners, and hotels for your sugar baby?

I think the Sugar Bowl is good if you have spouse that is not tech savvy or they're busy doing their own thing. But if you have a spouse that's on full alert or you have too much to lose, it's best not to play in the bowl. There's no advice that can be given to make it safe for you.

[Ernest Ll]

https://www.seeking.com/member/6a240...7-a6e49b4be064

Nice looking nurse. Verified her IRL -- newbie opsec!

She had an organic SD -- a surgeon at her hospital that used to take her to conferences and bang her in exchange for travel and gifts, no cash.

Very high opinion of herself.

[FreeSpirit2763]

Making a trip up to Richmond in the near future and wondering if anyone has any intel on this lady. Been talking a good game.

https://www.seeking.com/member/0861a...f-dba8e9d1ef7f