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Thread: Massage Parlor Reports

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  1. #6074
    Troll, if you don't put me on ignore then don't complain about what I post


    Posts: 2977

    No ass fucking for you

    So I hit the zen suites (aka, ass fucking spa) on 30 $% washington.

    I arrive at like 415 and the refrigerator out front said that the girls were taken until 8, save for Camryn who was free with her baggy tits and affinity for unauthorized creampies and jordyn who was open at 430 for accidental ass fucking. I said I would wait for jordyn and the refrigerator asked me if I wanted to leave a deposit. I said that would happen just about the time she lost 50 pounds and that I would be right back. I get back at 430 and I had to give the fridge the money. I opted for the 239 dollar (I let the fridge keep the change). The girl out front should have managed presidential security in dealey plaze in November 1963. She is an idiot. She had me wait on that ridiculous couch and went back to talking on the phone with mongers trying to understand why a monger would want to come in as soon as she had an opening (again, this no-op has the understanding of the male dick you usually find in lesbian clam bakes). Her employment at this place is totally redundant. AMPs have mamasans so that you are thankful to get a nice girl age 36-40 rather than the 62 year old mamasan. This place could simply stock a fridge out front. She offered me wine, which is unreal. I doubt they have a 41 or 47.

    Jordyn comes down to get me and she is not indian. She is nubian / mixed / exotic. Meaning she is black. She does not mumble, she has slurred speech from either ketamines and / or weed. She has a fat fucken ass and she is a marsupial.

    The room is bigger than my house. She told me I would jacooze after. She did a terrible massage and did not tease shit. She is lazy as a dodger starting pitcher and sat on the table during part of it. When she turned over I was scared I would be upsold for a much needed handjob. I massaged her ass and she was not wearing any knickers. She liked it and I just about tore my bicep massaging her ass. She did not drop trou or show any thing, she was in short and a sweatshirt. She is very low iq and makes no sense at all. Talking to her is about as productive as nailing jello to a tree.

    Finally, about 45 minutes in she starts jerking me off like I have covid / hemorrhoids. She told me that I was running out of time and prepared the landing deck with a paper towel. After nutting she put me in the hot tub and I farted some mean old chipotle farts for the next dude to enjoy. I got out of the hot tub after some pleasantries and dressed myself.

    I can see how one could slide a hot rod into her garage accidentally. If you oil that ass up, it is the anatomical equivalent of a front lawn slip and slide. I guess the dud that nutted in that ass made her a little more guarded.

    I am not going back to this place.

  2. #6073

    Wen

    I like Sue's breasts. They are nice. She oils up her hands, my dong, balls and butthole. I save up a week's worth and together we see how high I can shoot. Its fun.

  3. #6072

    Still Worth Trying

    Quote Originally Posted by BoulderBoy  [View Original Post]
    LOL So all I read was:

    .

    I think I'll pass. I'm looking for fantasy level, not something I'll regret later! Haha.
    Harmony indeed has strong hands but I found her to be just the right size I need (I'm 6'3", same as the orange blob currently in the White House but minus 100 lbs in weight). 5'7", nice round tits, tight wet pussy, pictures are real. If you happen to be in need of a deep tissue massage her techniques make do.

    Generally no FS or CIM (unless you want to switch your dietary choice to consuming dirt and offer her your lunch money for the month), but fingering is occasionally permitted. Overall a decent time.

  4. #6071
    Troll, if you don't put me on ignore then don't complain about what I post


    Posts: 2977

    Mary at Chen's

    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefKeefer  [View Original Post]
    I'm looking for any recommendations on a place that has good looking white girls. I've seen people mention pine therapy but haven't been able to check it out yet. Any other spots that you know of? Could be anywhere in the LA area. I've been to Havana in Downey but they don't offer FS.
    She is good looking, and she bleaches her colon.

  5. #6070

    White girls?

    I'm looking for any recommendations on a place that has good looking white girls. I've seen people mention pine therapy but haven't been able to check it out yet. Any other spots that you know of? Could be anywhere in the LA area. I've been to Havana in Downey but they don't offer FS.

  6. #6069
    Troll, if you don't put me on ignore then don't complain about what I post


    Posts: 2977

    The zen master

    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcCoy692  [View Original Post]
    It's in Marina Del Rey. It's basically a jacuzzi massage place.
    Some takeaways on the zen suites at 30** washington boulevard, in Marina del rey.

    1. they have more ads on rubratings than all the presidential candidates and nationwide have on youtube. You can text the phone number and you get an address.

    2. it is walk in only, which has to be the stupidest model ever used in a non Asian mp. It will be the death knell of the place. You cannot just let mongers come in to a place like that.

    3. if you walk in, the refrigerator size black receptionist, tells you they are all booked up and you need to deposit 40 bucks to hold a reservation in a few hours.

    4. there are large massage rooms and a staff of non-Asians (age 36040), including a fat white gal (camryn), an Indian gal (Jordyn) who apparently lets you put your hot rod in her rear garage (accidentally).

    5. I am NOT putting 40 bucks (my hourly wage at von's is 22.50 per hour) as a deposit.

    6. I will try again this weekend because as of now, there is nothing on the west side that will let you up the ass accidentally.

  7. #6068
    Quote Originally Posted by PlayerN818  [View Original Post]
    So, you're saying you know how much pain one should expect when a cock goes up their ass? Interesting.
    Come on now. You never had anal sex? I'm just saying, I've been with other girls who let me have anal sex with them and while they might act like they are uncomfortable while doing it I've never had a girl scream and freak out like she did. I think she was just surprised.

  8. #6067
    Quote Originally Posted by Bbx34  [View Original Post]
    Where is this place? What is zen suites.
    It's in Marina Del Rey. It's basically a jacuzzi massage place.

  9. #6066
    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcCoy692  [View Original Post]
    . . .Obviously I'm sure it hurt, but I think she played it up a bit too.
    So, you're saying you know how much pain one should expect when a cock goes up their ass? Interesting.

  10. #6065
    Quote Originally Posted by MyFinalHeav3  [View Original Post]
    I think it's been closed for a while.

    Phone number is unreliable, the former owner was very paranoid and rarely picked up the phone.

    Maybe it'll open up now that MP's are allowed to open.
    Saw it was open when I passed by Saturday but didn't go in.

  11. #6064

    Zen Suites? What place is this?

    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcCoy692  [View Original Post]
    OK, I was able to pop in to Zen Suites. Got a girl named Jordyn. Really cute Indian chick. Sweet look in the face and sexy pedicured feet. Unfortunately her body didn't match up to the rest of her. She was not fat, but had a little kangaroo pouch with saggy tits. Seems to be the type here I guess. I got the 1 hour jacuzzi with the nuru after. We got in the tub and just talked. Cool personality, but she kinda mumbles a lot so I just kinda nodded my head yes like I knew what she was mumbling to me. The jacuzzi wasn't as sensual as I was hoping. Sure, she spent plenty of time playing with junior while she sat across from me, but that was about it. I thought there would be more mutual touching and stuff, not that she stopped me, but she sat on the opposite side of the jacuzzi. I asked if I could kiss her and she said she would take off her clothes (she was wearing some kind of mesh see through bathing suit) and kiss for 140. I paid the extra tip and then got on the massage table. She kissed me twice and then said if I would like to massage her body. I kinda didn't want to because I had just paid this chick extra money. But I said OK and massaged her for a bit. She moaned and told me how good it was. I massaged her ass and then rubbed her pussy a little bit and she started moaning louder. As I was massaging her I got on top of her and started rubbing my dick between her butt cheeks and she was cool with it. She kept moaning and started grinding her ass on me. I felt like I was about to cum so I started humping harder and faster as she was moving her ass. Then accidentally I slipped my dick up her ass as I came. I know it sounds like I did it on purpose, but it was totally an accident. It slipped in partially because of the way she twisted her ass at the moment I was cumming. She obviously got pretty pissed off and jumped off of the massage table. She got in the jacuzzi and started washing the massage oil off after she finished I got in and did the same. After I got out the jacuzzi I was still kinda horny because I didn't really fully blow my load. I was about to but when I slipped in and she jumped out I was kinda past the point of no return so I still shot cum out but not the full load I needed. I told I didn't really cum all the way and if I could jack off while looking at her. She got pissed off and started mumbling to her self. I looked at her confused and said that I needed to go to the bathroom to get dressed, but that I jerk off by myself in there if I wanted.

    Despite the fact that I'm probably not welcome back there after what happened I don't think that I'd want to repeat anyways. Yes, the spot is really nice, but the talent feels subpar to what you could get for cheaper at other spots.

    Tldr;.

    Nice place, bad talent.
    Where is this place? What is zen suites.

  12. #6063

    Ocean

    Quote Originally Posted by BigBadNut  [View Original Post]
    Hey has anyone been to Ocean on SMBLVD? Last couple of weeks? Every time I have been there the back is locked up solid.
    I think it's been closed for a while.

    Phone number is unreliable, the former owner was very paranoid and rarely picked up the phone.

    Maybe it'll open up now that MP's are allowed to open.

  13. #6062
    Quote Originally Posted by BigBadNut  [View Original Post]
    Jeeezz Wally of course it slipped in accidentally! But what's missing here is after the groaning and moaning precursor what did she do upon entry?)). Was there an ouch? Or ohhhhh or maybe a ahhhh??
    There was an oooooouuuuuuuu! Follow by a "what the fuck! Followed by a few minutes of ooouu. Shit. Ouuu. It sounds fucked up, but it really was an accident and I think she was more in shock than in pain. Obviously I'm sure it hurt, but I think she played it up a bit too.

  14. #6061

    Slip and slide

    Jeeezz Wally of course it slipped in accidentally! But what's missing here is after the groaning and moaning precursor what did she do upon entry?)). Was there an ouch? Or ohhhhh or maybe a ahhhh??

    Quote Originally Posted by JamesMcCoy692  [View Original Post]
    OK, I was able to pop in to Zen Suites. Got a girl named Jordyn. Really cute Indian chick. Sweet look in the face and sexy pedicured feet. Unfortunately her body didn't match up to the rest of her. She was not fat, but had a little kangaroo pouch with saggy tits. Seems to be the type here I guess. I got the 1 hour jacuzzi with the nuru after. We got in the tub and just talked. Cool personality, but she kinda mumbles a lot so I just kinda nodded my head yes like I knew what she was mumbling to me. The jacuzzi wasn't as sensual as I was hoping. Sure, she spent plenty of time playing with junior while she sat across from me, but that was about it. I thought there would be more mutual touching and stuff, not that she stopped me, but she sat on the opposite side of the jacuzzi. I asked if I could kiss her and she said she would take off her clothes (she was wearing some kind of mesh see through bathing suit) and kiss for 140. I paid the extra tip and then got on the massage table. She kissed me twice and then said if I would like to massage her body. I kinda didn't want to because I had just paid this chick extra money. But I said OK and massaged her for a bit. She moaned and told me how good it was. I massaged her ass and then rubbed her pussy a little bit and she started moaning louder. As I was massaging her I got on top of her and started rubbing my dick between her butt cheeks and she was cool with it. She kept moaning and started grinding her ass on me. I felt like I was about to cum so I started humping harder and faster as she was moving her ass. Then accidentally I slipped my dick up her ass as I came. I know it sounds like I did it on purpose, but it was totally an accident. It slipped in partially because of the way she twisted her ass at the moment I was cumming. She obviously got pretty pissed off and jumped off of the massage table. She got in the jacuzzi and started washing the massage oil off after she finished I got in and did the same. After I got out the jacuzzi I was still kinda horny because I didn't really fully blow my load. I was about to but when I slipped in and she jumped out I was kinda past the point of no return so I still shot cum out but not the full load I needed. I told I didn't really cum all the way and if I could jack off while looking at her. She got pissed off and started mumbling to her self. I looked at her confused and said that I needed to go to the bathroom to get dressed, but that I jerk off by myself in there if I wanted.

    Despite the fact that I'm probably not welcome back there after what happened I don't think that I'd want to repeat anyways. Yes, the spot is really nice, but the talent feels subpar to what you could get for cheaper at other spots.

    Tldr;.

    Nice place, bad talent.

  15. #6060

    Ocean?

    Hey has anyone been to Ocean on SMBLVD? Last couple of weeks? Every time I have been there the back is locked up solid.

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