Massage Parlor Reports

[The Nub]

**DISCLAIMER: The following is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.***
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The Nub smiled as he got dressed in an attempt to hide his disappointment. You see, his first spa experience had just turned out to be far less than he had expected. Just 1 hour before, he had arrived at Swan. The Nub was nervous. He walked in the building, made his way up the stairs and rang the bell. He heard someone rushing towards the door; it was a girl in her late 20's. "Not too bad," The Nub thought. The girl spoke softly in broken English. Later the nub would find out that the girl is Korean, and he would ask her name which he would forget after a few seconds. "First time?" the Nub was asked. "Yes." After some formalities, the nub took a quick shower and then he was ready for some therapy. Things had been a little awkward till this point because of The Nub's inexperience. The therapy began. The Nub could barely feel the girl’s hands on his back. The massage was very light, mechanical, and not energetic at all. Later he was asked to flip over. The Nub thought that things would get better from then on. However, the mechanical massage continued on The Nub's shoulders, legs and arms. After a few more minutes the girl said, "Ok...Done..."

"That's it?" the nub asked.

"Yes, massagi only here" the girl said.

The nub thought, "What! You call that a massage?" but he only smiled.

The nub was totally disappointed and walked out. The therapy had not relieved he Nub’s stress.

[Trav Pokerman]

If you really want to be amazed, you should have a look at their forum.

Hmm. Anyone notice that the site looks suspiciously like the U-S-A Sex Guide (e.g., fonts, signon boxes)? I'm officially concerned.

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Hi Trav Pokerman,

Interesting observation, but the fact is that the USA Forum uses a software program called vBulletin, which is the most popular forum software available, and which has been installed on more than 200,000 websites.

Thanks,

Jackson

[Tom Thumbs]

With the dry spell going around the entire area, and eveyone at full alert, I wanted to give Golden Palms a try and see what they have. Beware, this may have uncle LEO all over it. I called using a phone card, which comes back to a number in Colorado. They were busy and put me on hold. I got tired and hung up, only to get a call back to my phone directly within about 2 minutes. I don't know how they could have gotten the number without some help, so be careful out there. If you have any history there, please PM.

I have a Walmart card that use to have a colorado number but not no more now when I call they get my phone number it just might be the card.

Harley.

[Harley Dude 29]

With the dry spell going around the entire area, and eveyone at full alert, I wanted to give Golden Palms a try and see what they have. Beware, this may have uncle LEO all over it. I called using a phone card, which comes back to a number in Colorado. They were busy and put me on hold. I got tired and hung up, only to get a call back to my phone directly within about 2 minutes. I don't know how they could have gotten the number without some help, so be careful out there. If you have any history there, please PM.

[VanDriver]

Not sure if this is where I should post this PM, but did anybody else get this from Tom Thumbs? I have no idea what the hell he is talking about.

Van

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In a PM from Tom Thumbs, he wrote:


fuck it! let's just do the "BIG KAHUNA"

we'll all meet at the manassas courthouse at 10 am and we'll go into the courtroom and as soon as the judges tries to say anything other then to get a jury to make decisions
we'll arrest the judge and bring them into federal court [that's why we have federal court a place to bring the states into court] charge the judge with treason and demand they be put to death

[Jake Jj 1492]

Went by Sakura tonight--it was closed and all the lights were out.

Kinja had lights on and the open sign was lit. But, I called twice from a pay phone, and no one answered. An SUV was there, but might have been Uncle LEO waiting for a visitor. Did anyone try it?

Guess they win. Last two visits at Sakura, the provider was jumpy every time the bell rang--and they were busy.

Main sign at Sakura is lit today, but open sign is not. Didn't try to call.

[Roamin Roman]

A local paper was carrying the following ad recently: "Asian Pretty Girl, 25y.o., 5ft.5in., 115lbs., 34B-23-34, offers massage to relax your tired muscles. Incall or outcall. DC/VA." Since I was in Arlington at the time and it was the end of the workday, I decided to TOFTT and gave her a call.

First, the "bad" news: Not all the listed specifications were, by my estimate, quite accurate. She is a 34B, to be sure, but her waist is probably more like 32 (versus 23) and she's got a couple more inches at the hips than the 34 listed (probably a 36). And, she's a bit more solid than the 115 pounds listed in the ad (closer to 135#). Also, I'd put her age at about 40.

All that being said, Linda was a sweet girl, somewhat quiet bordering on slightly shy (I think she's a bit self-conscious of her weight). And she was cute --- not a knockout by any means --- but cute in that Asian kind of way. Her massage skills are more than competent, and she has strong hands. She will give you a good rubdown and leave you feeling totally relaxed by the end of the session (w/ standard Harry Reasoner action). And, she is Chinese, not Korean as I first thought upon seeing her. She is pleasant, clean, and can carry on a decent conversation, for those who like to talk to their masseusse during a session. And, while I didn't persue it, I just had this feeling that she may be willing to explore other styles of massage if she feels comfortable with the person she's with. I didn't see anyone else at the apartment, but did get the impression that one or maybe two other girls were there, as well.

Would I repeat with her? Yes. Will I try to see if she offers different types of massages next time? Yes, too. She may indeed be 40, but I wouldn't mind raising her tail, given the opportunity. However, I think one would have to initiate that move, as she probably isn't going to offer on her own. (Safer that way.)

Seniors can PM me for details.


Rating: 7 / 7.5 / 7.5 (L/S/A)


"Have fun at the Forum" --- R::R

[The above fictional account is copyrighted by its author and is intended only for the enjoyment of those willing to read it. Similarities between persons described herein and persons living or deceased is purely coincidental but darn lucky. Inquiries from members about the grammatical composition of this tale of adventure are welcome, but requests will be handled on a case-by-case basis. Seniority rules...even if my own toga still has that newish look to it. Exceptions made for other members whom I recognize from this or other forums, past or present, real or imagined.]

[Kluvr]

Recent LE activities have me thinking of getting to know a nice rub&tug lady and look for off-campus options.

[Jake Jj 1492]

I know of instances on the West Coast where LE resorted to legal "harassment" by parking cruisers in front of an establishment and/or the Health Department frequently making unannounced "inspections" and writing up the AMPs for BS violations.

I noticed this kind of activity around the Eye place in DC not long after they were "visited" by LE. Soon after, the spa let their phone get disconnected to reduce the amount of foot traffic but remained open. Not too many days after, the parked cruisers went away, but now it seems the spa may be closed for real now too. Not sure as there have been conflicting reports on their closure, but who knows.

Better safe than sorry.

[Jet Ranger]

LE may may still be in the middle of their investigation and they won't go public until they are ready. As I understand the chronology of the Black Wednesday investigation, it started in February and the Feds didn't make the massive raids and shows of force raids and their announcements to the media until August.

As you may have read in the code extract I posted, there are several government officials authorized to enter massage establishments. Unlike HWC, they may not have found usable evidence of criminal activity. When this happens, I know of instances on the West Coast where LE resorted to legal "harassment" by parking cruisers in front of an establishment and/or the Health Department frequently making unannounced "inspections" and writing up the AMPs for BS violations.

Remember, there were previous reports some time ago of PWC LE questioning guys as they were leaving HWC, so LE didn't bust HWC immediately, but they were obviously working on a plan to raid it and take it down, which they eventually did.

[Omeyer]

Nothing on the police blotter hints (screams out) at an ongoing sting operation.
Would be funny as hell to see someone sneak up and put Dunkin Donuts signs over the Kinja and Sukura signs.

[Dlrzboy]

Went by Sakura tonight--it was closed and all the lights were out.

Kinja had lights on and the open sign was lit. But, I called twice from a pay phone, and no one answered. An SUV was there, but might have been Uncle LEO waiting for a visitor. Did anyone try it?

Guess they win. Last two visits at Sakura, the provider was jumpy every time the bell rang--and they were busy.

[Jim Rob]

Hey Mongers, Well I just today drove by Tyco therapy, I really just drove by for shit's and giggles. I'm' really too scared to go to an AMP and not have the door kicked in and cops everywhere, acting like the cops on South Park (which I find to be the only realistic show about Cops). So yes Tyco was closed and the sign said closed for 5 to 6 weeks, moose out front should have told you. Well I did see this girl Natasha on CL, she is out in Vienna and is half Asian and very hot, way hotter then her pics. Trusted mongers can PM me for details about her

[Benchseats Rock]

Hoping it was some disorderly customer and not a big thing . . . hoping . ..

Whether or not this is a big thing remains to be seen. All the hoping won't help that this was a bona fide raid and not anything else.

[Omeyer]

Drove by Kinja just after 6 yesterday evening. "open" sign was on and the place looked typically calm.
Nothing showing up on the Potomac News website yet.
Hoping it was some disorderly customer and not a big thing . . . hoping . . .