Massage Parlor Reports

[PhilMendel]

WTF? Thank you so much for this report. Total disappointment at 250 and doesn't use NURU gel. Some of them just think a little B2B is NURU. And on top of that a shit hole. Stay the fuck away from that. I have had could B2B with smaller breasted girls that were good but this sounds terrible.

If you're looking for a great Nuru experience, see Soni if she is still around. I saw her about a year ago in her apartment right off LSD in Lakeview. One of the best experiences I've had.

Legit Nuru gel.

L1 only and a bit expensive $2. But that Polish girl had huge puppies and a great body. Very friendly. Totally nude and lets a lot of roaming. Decent, clean apartment. I almost blew before I flipped.

She's a real treat.

[AsiaPhileJake1]

I visited Alana at their site on Archer.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/51895

First, and I knew full well the pictures would not match, the only resemblance between the pictured Alana and the real Alana is a) they are both black, and b) they both have small breasts.

So I showed up for a massage around 3:00 PM. As with a lot of this type of operation, they give you an address, and when you arrive, they give you the real address which is several doors away. The establishment, if you can call it that, would be, at best, classified as a dump. A very small (and heated only by a portable heater) massage room with an even smaller massage table. Alana was a short and petite provider, with A cup breasts. I asked for my options, and Nuru massage was an option. Since I had never tried this, I agreed to Nuru, and I got the price down to $250. After dropping the money off, Alana came back and removed her clothes; I had already had done so and was laying on the table. She got something that had the texture of hand lotion, and she rubbed on her front and my back. She then proceeded to rub back and forth on my back with her front. Even though I am in no way experienced, Nuru massage is not that entertaining from a woman with small breasts. I could feel her breasts when she rubbed, but it was a minuscule amount. After a while, Alana got some more "lotion" and repeated the process, front-to-front. She only did it with her head next to mine; never with her privates near my hands or face. After about 10 minutes, I was ready to get out. I indicated that I was ready to finish, and Alana sat on my stomach, facing toward my feet, and gave me a mediocre HJ. I'm sure that my attitude at the time influenced my review. Alana then cleaned me up below and then used a pan with lukewarm water to clean the rest of the lotion off me. Out of curiosity, I asked how much FS would have been, and she replied $100 more. Man, I'm glad I didn't partake in that the $250 I had already spent was one of the worst financial decisions I had ever made. For that money, I could have gone to Exercise and enjoyed a far more pleasurable experience. After everything, Alana gave me a peck on the cheek and told me to "come back soon..

WTF? Thank you so much for this report. Total disappointment at 250 and doesn't use NURU gel. Some of them just think a little B2B is NURU. And on top of that a shit hole. Stay the fuck away from that. I have had could B2B with smaller breasted girls that were good but this sounds terrible.

[Citybird]

Had a dream with Jenny over at CLM. I enjoyed my visit very much and plan on repeating sometime soon. Would definitely recommend if you haven't visited her yet. I was not rushed at all and you could tell that your satisfaction is her top priority. She's a very cute, smart, and caring provider. Looking forward to my next visit with her. PM me with your favorites from CLM.

[Math1956]

I visited Alana at their site on Archer.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/51895

First, and I knew full well the pictures would not match, the only resemblance between the pictured Alana and the real Alana is a) they are both black, and b) they both have small breasts.

So I showed up for a massage around 3:00 PM. As with a lot of this type of operation, they give you an address, and when you arrive, they give you the real address which is several doors away. The establishment, if you can call it that, would be, at best, classified as a dump. A very small (and heated only by a portable heater) massage room with an even smaller massage table. Alana was a short and petite provider, with A cup breasts. I asked for my options, and Nuru massage was an option. Since I had never tried this, I agreed to Nuru, and I got the price down to $250. After dropping the money off, Alana came back and removed her clothes; I had already had done so and was laying on the table. She got something that had the texture of hand lotion, and she rubbed on her front and my back. She then proceeded to rub back and forth on my back with her front. Even though I am in no way experienced, Nuru massage is not that entertaining from a woman with small breasts. I could feel her breasts when she rubbed, but it was a minuscule amount. After a while, Alana got some more "lotion" and repeated the process, front-to-front. She only did it with her head next to mine; never with her privates near my hands or face. After about 10 minutes, I was ready to get out. I indicated that I was ready to finish, and Alana sat on my stomach, facing toward my feet, and gave me a mediocre HJ. I'm sure that my attitude at the time influenced my review. Alana then cleaned me up below and then used a pan with lukewarm water to clean the rest of the lotion off me. Out of curiosity, I asked how much FS would have been, and she replied $100 more. Man, I'm glad I didn't partake in that – the $250 I had already spent was one of the worst financial decisions I had ever made. For that money, I could have gone to Exercise and enjoyed a far more pleasurable experience. After everything, Alana gave me a peck on the cheek and told me to "come back soon. " There is little likelihood that I would ever return, as the little enjoyment I got was nowhere near the amount of money I spent. And since I'm not from the Chicago area, that means that it is even less likely that I will ever return.

Math1956.

[Green16]

Is this place still alive and kicking?

Are you referring to Crystal Spa in Matteson? If you are, yes it's still alive.

[Not Dead Yet]

Not sure where to post this, being a distance from Chicago but anyway.

So, since when is the Asian Massage on Main in St. Charles a legit business? Guess how I found this out the other day? LOL I should have known. There were clues. The windows weren't covered, she draped my correctly, and the massage techniques were legit. So, when I whipped it out, I was told that it's not that kind of place. Oops. Anyone else have the same experience there?

Are usually found under IL. Other areas, under Geneva, the closest town. Two years ago everything there was good for at least L1; they got a visit by those people who have nothing better to do than cause problems for hard working imigrant girls and those kind men who want to welcum them to America. They were shut down for a while about a year ago; apparently either new management or just being very cautious. Haven't seen any reviews since then indicating anything other than legit.

[Jaker808]

Has any been to Nuru for All on the southside? Message or reply with info. I haven't seen any reviews online. Thanks!

[ConfuciusMan]

Got a text from their they got 3 new young girls. Anyone been their lately?

[Captain Stiffy]

Not sure where to post this, being a distance from Chicago but anyway.

So, since when is the Asian Massage on Main in St. Charles a legit business? Guess how I found this out the other day? LOL I should have known. There were clues. The windows weren't covered, she draped my correctly, and the massage techniques were legit. So, when I whipped it out, I was told that it's not that kind of place. Oops. Anyone else have the same experience there?

[PhilMendel]

Gentlemen. I was walking to a meeting in the South Loop. 500 Block of South Dearborn. Saw the typical massage sign, with the small waiting room.

I did not have time to stop in, but may TOFTT next week if I have the time. Anyone know the place? Care to report? Thanks and stay safe.

[Crimp03]

Is this place still alive and kicking?

[VRooomBada]

Went to this Michigan ave place to check out Angelina. Called ahead but I'm pretty sure I got Lilly because she was just a normal AMP lady, not slim. She wanted $80 for L1, $120 for L2. I said no. She asked for a tip on the way out, I said no. Disappointing since I am always looking for new loop options.

[Jinurso]

With all the talk about CLM, I haven't seen anything lately about Bodyrubs Chicago and Bodywork. Has anybody had any recent experiences with either of them? Last I saw Sofy and Giselle were still there, but no new reviews of anybody.

[HanginBalls]

Room has had some chatter on Latina massage lately given the Corona concerns with the AMPs, so took a trip to AOL yesterday to see how this place has held up. It was. OK. One girl working Melissa, 6/10, cute, average. Very little English so if you like to have a conversation during your session better brush up on the Espanol. $80 door fee and options available at standard prices. Left pretty happy but probably won't repeat unless there is better talent there someone can recommend. Happy trails!

I inhaled my Asian mt's fumes last night!! Not worried about corona. Lotta news stations banking on commercials!!

[GonzoBalls]

Room has had some chatter on Latina massage lately given the Corona concerns with the AMPs, so took a trip to AOL yesterday to see how this place has held up. It was. OK. One girl working Melissa, 6/10, cute, average. Very little English so if you like to have a conversation during your session better brush up on the Espanol. $80 door fee and options available at standard prices. Left pretty happy but probably won't repeat unless there is better talent there someone can recommend. Happy trails!

AOL is a complete waste of time in my personal opinion.