"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JustLonely]

I assume any potential SB who doesn't have in her profile Platonic or not looking for sex, is going to be open for it. Assuming as well that you have game.

Thoughts?

[Walruscl]

The prettiest women I've ever known were naturally beautiful and didn't need make-up, nails, hair styling, heels and outfits to make them beautiful.

My first long-term SB was exactly like this, as is my current SB. And they are pretty in non-glamorous ways, which to me makes them all the more attractive. My first SB in particular would dress in a way that de-emphasized her slim, spinner physique. Between that and a slightly nerdy demeanor, you'd have no clue of the sexual energy lurking underneath. So it was a real ego rush to know her "secret", and that I was the guy who enjoyed the fruits of that.

[Madaboutmax]

I appreciate when a girl exhibits GPS early on. It allows me to cross them off the list without investing too much time or money.

We've all made mistakes in the bowl, especially early on. I'm no different and spent too much on some girls early on. I found that there is actually an inverse relationship to the amount a girl demands and quality of the experience.

Girls that only do it for the money, think they are "the shit" and are doing me a favor, have almost always been a disappointment. Girls that genuinely like older men, are down to earth and appreciate what I offer, have almost always been a much better experience.

Surprisingly, there is little correlation to looks. The first group always dresses well, but often is hiding or covering up physical flaws. The second group is often much more casual, less confident in their appearance, but often take much better care of their health and natural appearance.

Often girls will use how much it costs them for their hair, nails, clothes, make-up, etc as rationale for needing an allowance for the meet and greet. My thought every time is "what are they trying to hide?" The prettiest women I've ever known were naturally beautiful and didn't need make-up, nails, hair styling, heels and outfits to make them beautiful.

Similar to the recent discussion on this board, I believe more girls should focus on diet and exercise more so than make-up, nails, styling and outfits.

See my post farther down, just happened to me recently. It was strange because usually the GPS girls (in my experience anyway) tend to not be the ones in pursuit. But she reached out to me first, and when I started to flake a little on her she didn't give up. Until we went to text of course, at which point the financials came up again, and then she let it drop that $500 was non-negotiable. Which is ironic because if it's that non-negotiable, that must mean she has SD's beating a path to her door, so why did she feel the need to pursue me?

I don't think she was a UTR, just a GPS who is looking at it very much as a transaction, and for whatever reason (ego, greed, whatever) needs to have the number be high. The one time I agreed to that amount was from someone who claimed to pull down $800 on occasion, but at the same time I was her last SD because she had given up on it as an activity with a good ROI for her. She had no spark, wasn't a clock-watcher but was very stingy with her time, and very much seemed to be of the mindset that she was the one doing me the favor. The latter wasn't obnoxiously so, but that was her general thought process.

So, I'm rambling, but I had no problem just walking away from these situations (demanding to talk financials first, are out of my price range) because I do think that these are girls I am not interested in. The entire vibe is wrong, as they are more likely to be calculating an ROI in terms of their time and are doing it more for the financials than the sex. As a result, the sex is probably not going to be as good, simply because they are either not into it or are treating it so casually that there's no spark.

[JZLizard]

Fortunately I've managed to not backslide that far. At most I see less than a pound difference when I "binge" (which basically translates into indulging in pub food, or a larger portion than I might normally have). And again, remarkably I sometimes see a small net loss over the course of a week where I binged once or twice. I know how much work "that last five pounds" are, so at the moment I'm pretty hell-bent on not letting things slide to the point where I'm facing that problem.

I may not have that sense of relative difficulty of losing five pounds, because I'm sure it's harder than losing more pounds when the % over ideal weight is higher. But for me, not straying too far from the ideal is what makes it easier to get back to it when needed. It probably varies from one individual to another, but I've found that shedding about 2 lbs per week is pretty easily achieved (faster than that is probably not recommended), so if I get six pounds over, I'm only 2-3 weeks away from ideal, and I usually have at least that much notice before going on one of my traveling pussy-hunting binges.

Oddly enough, 6 extra pounds isn't really visibly detectable on me by others -- but I sure feel the difference. I'm already a naturally horny person anyway, but loss of that last 5 pounds seems to greatly magnify sex drive for some reason. It's as if my brain has been trained to acknowledge the slight difference in weight as the difference between "comfort day to day" and "optimal hunting mode". LOL. So it expects and craves more sex more often. Or maybe it's the diet modifications I make. Going to the gym is a year-round thing for me, varying slightly in frequency of visits, so not a tremendous amount of change there one way or the other. It's mostly dietary changes that seem make the difference in that last five.

[JustLonely]

I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.

I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.

Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?

I look to see how long they have been on the site. With it being a really long time, I assume they are UTR and treat them accordingly. With the ones that are really new, I tell them I am open to various arrangements depending on how well we match up. A lot ask me what my previous arrangements were like. Some even ask how did I help my last SB. My usual reply is that depended on the situation that brought the person to SA. Whatever the case, we have a mutually beneficial arrangement that we can discuss over coffee or dinner and see where we might want to go from there.

The exception to all that occurs like what happens just before Christmas and around rent due time. Some of them will say they need X dollars soon to pay for whatever. I will decline or say we can meet for coffee and see if I can help. I never give them an amount when messaging. If I can't get them to meet me first, then it's not going to be the kind of arrangement I am looking for at this point in my life regardless of UTR or green newbie that has no clue what a real Sugar Baby is.

[Walruscl]

I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.

I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.

Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?

See my post farther down, just happened to me recently. It was strange because usually the GPS girls (in my experience anyway) tend to not be the ones in pursuit. But she reached out to me first, and when I started to flake a little on her she didn't give up. Until we went to text of course, at which point the financials came up again, and then she let it drop that $500 was non-negotiable. Which is ironic because if it's that non-negotiable, that must mean she has SD's beating a path to her door, so why did she feel the need to pursue me?

I don't think she was a UTR, just a GPS who is looking at it very much as a transaction, and for whatever reason (ego, greed, whatever) needs to have the number be high. The one time I agreed to that amount was from someone who claimed to pull down $800 on occasion, but at the same time I was her last SD because she had given up on it as an activity with a good ROI for her. She had no spark, wasn't a clock-watcher but was very stingy with her time, and very much seemed to be of the mindset that she was the one doing me the favor. The latter wasn't obnoxiously so, but that was her general thought process.

So, I'm rambling, but I had no problem just walking away from these situations (demanding to talk financials first, are out of my price range) because I do think that these are girls I am not interested in. The entire vibe is wrong, as they are more likely to be calculating an ROI in terms of their time and are doing it more for the financials than the sex. As a result, the sex is probably not going to be as good, simply because they are either not into it or are treating it so casually that there's no spark.

[Walruscl]

That's very possibly an accurate guess, I haven't put too much thought into the science of it. What I have found is that when I hit my optimum fitness level, it mostly seems to maintain itself. Where I have to be careful is when my normal workout deviates, like when my work ramps up and I start spending a lot of time sitting, then increase my alcohol intake, then start slowing down on the gym visits, then get irresponsible like when my girlfriend's friend gives her a home made cheesecake and I end up eating the whole thing in a day. LOL. After a few weeks of a combination of behaviors like that, I eventually step on the scale to see an unwelcome half dozen or so pounds, and that's my queue to quit screwing around and get back to the gym.

Fortunately I've managed to not backslide that far. At most I see less than a pound difference when I "binge" (which basically translates into indulging in pub food, or a larger portion than I might normally have). And again, remarkably I sometimes see a small net loss over the course of a week where I binged once or twice. I know how much work "that last five pounds" are, so at the moment I'm pretty hell-bent on not letting things slide to the point where I'm facing that problem.

The only bummer right now is with the colder weather, I don't have clothing that highlights the trim physique. Good problem to have I suppose.

[FarFarAway]

I am quite active (=compulsive!) on seeking, recently joining for the next month. I am getting a lot of the "what do you provide for an allowance?" question in messaging on the site. In general I try to negotiate that at the M&G, face to face, to get the best deal. It is also risky to do on seeking, it seems people have gotten banned for getting into that. The site is appropriately paranoid about getting shut down.

I have replied that I can't talk about it on the site because it violates the terms of service, but then of course there's no prevention if we start texting or emailing. I have also said general stuff like 'I wouldn't know how to have that conversation w / someone I'd never met' and 'I'm sure you wouldn't like to discuss sexual acts w / a guy you only know over the internet'. Often times, the conversation stops at that point. I know I want to deflect the sugar discussion as long as possible, but am I missing out on some here? Is there a different way to say it to get them to M&G w / o a sugar promise, or at least a sense. At one point, I think I was saying something like "I'm not poor and I'm not cheap, and I have had very desirable SBs, and they never complained. " In the absence of the old 'lifestyle' buttons, it's hard to know what they want.

Are these who get to this question quickly just UTRs who I mostly am not interested in anyway?

[JZLizard]

Ever since summer I'd sworn off pizza, but finally indulged, but in moderation. Didn't make a dent. In fact I find that if I have a small binge here and there (relatively speaking), I tend to lose weight during those periods. My layman's guess is calorie restriction dials back metabolism, and if you give your body some calories, it gives permission to ramp it back up for awhile.

That's very possibly an accurate guess, I haven't put too much thought into the science of it. What I have found is that when I hit my optimum fitness level, it mostly seems to maintain itself. Where I have to be careful is when my normal workout deviates, like when my work ramps up and I start spending a lot of time sitting, then increase my alcohol intake, then start slowing down on the gym visits, then get irresponsible like when my girlfriend's friend gives her a home made cheesecake and I end up eating the whole thing in a day. LOL. After a few weeks of a combination of behaviors like that, I eventually step on the scale to see an unwelcome half dozen or so pounds, and that's my queue to quit screwing around and get back to the gym.

[Walruscl]

There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.

1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.

2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.

3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.

4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.

5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.

1. That's definitely true. Though in my case my LTSB was blessed with a high metabolism. She never exercised but always had a slim, spinner body to die for. From the day we met to the day she walked. Boy do I miss that.

2. My sister is a nutritionist. Her motto is "everything in moderation, including moderation". So yes, I have been doing exactly what you describe. Ever since summer I'd sworn off pizza, but finally indulged, but in moderation. Didn't make a dent. In fact I find that if I have a small binge here and there (relatively speaking), I tend to lose weight during those periods. My layman's guess is calorie restriction dials back metabolism, and if you give your body some calories, it gives permission to ramp it back up for awhile.

3. Yes. My current SB is as much about the romance angle as the sex, and that's a big motivator. Not to mention that when we do get naked, fitness-wise we're about comparable, which is a nice feeling.

4. I've been doing a slow-and-steady six months, and just enjoying the gradual improvement without being in afterburner mode. 35-45 minutes of weights and that's that, never over-extending myself. Preferably 3 x a week, and the frequency seems to be one of the biggest wins (going from 2 x to 3 x was noticeable).

5. Nice to know.

[Geechie Dan]

https://www.seeking.com/member/c1c90...c-35e6cb0a2ee7

Anyone have info? She's fun sized and I'm intrigued.

[JZLizard]

And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.

There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.

1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.

2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.

3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.

4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.

5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.

[Walruscl]

I've written a great deal about how much difference staying in shape can make.

And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.

[BamBam]

Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.

Your input is appreciated.

J.

That sounds like a perfect situation in which to pass her over to someone else in your area as a favor. He either reciprocates now or later. All you have to do is give her his number and he acts like he is your profile. Guys are always asking me to trade off an SB I am leaving and I have never found a safe way to do so. This may be the only way. Before initial contact.

BAM.

[Javazer]

Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.

Your input is appreciated.

J.