"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Walruscl]

There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.

1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.

2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.

3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.

4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.

5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.

1. That's definitely true. Though in my case my LTSB was blessed with a high metabolism. She never exercised but always had a slim, spinner body to die for. From the day we met to the day she walked. Boy do I miss that.

2. My sister is a nutritionist. Her motto is "everything in moderation, including moderation". So yes, I have been doing exactly what you describe. Ever since summer I'd sworn off pizza, but finally indulged, but in moderation. Didn't make a dent. In fact I find that if I have a small binge here and there (relatively speaking), I tend to lose weight during those periods. My layman's guess is calorie restriction dials back metabolism, and if you give your body some calories, it gives permission to ramp it back up for awhile.

3. Yes. My current SB is as much about the romance angle as the sex, and that's a big motivator. Not to mention that when we do get naked, fitness-wise we're about comparable, which is a nice feeling.

4. I've been doing a slow-and-steady six months, and just enjoying the gradual improvement without being in afterburner mode. 35-45 minutes of weights and that's that, never over-extending myself. Preferably 3 x a week, and the frequency seems to be one of the biggest wins (going from 2 x to 3 x was noticeable).

5. Nice to know.

[Geechie Dan]

https://www.seeking.com/member/c1c90...c-35e6cb0a2ee7

Anyone have info? She's fun sized and I'm intrigued.

[JZLizard]

And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.

There are a few tricks I've found that help maintain the balance through the "comfortable" times.

1. If you're in any sort of long-term situation (SB or civy), keep in mind that if you get too comfortable, she probably will take it as license to do same, and before you know it she's not as hot as she used to be and neither is your sex-life. So by pushing yourself, you're also pushing her to keep up, and it pays dividends across the board in terms of better sex.

2. Don't deprive yourself completely of eating the things you want to eat, but when you do indulge, balance it out with something on the other side. For example if you eat a slice of pie, satisfy the craving but then later eat something like salmon fillet with vegetables. Depriving yourself completely just leads to a bottled up feeling that you're missing something, and most people who swing to the two extremes end up losing the battle to the far end of each extreme they didn't want.

3. Sometimes if I'm feeling too comfortable, I let my mind reflect onto past sugaring experiences -- not just how hot the girl was or how good the sex was, but I start picturing in my mind things like the restaurant we ate at, or what kind of art or decorations were in the hotel room I stayed in, or what was said in the first hour we met. Things like that. It helps to put me back into the "mode" where life is not mundane and I'm traveling around to different cities meeting different girls. Somehow remembering the smallest details of these experiences helps remind me why I want to go to the gym.

4. Don't bust your ass completely on every gym session. Get in the habit of finishing the workout in under an hour, and push yourself just hard enough that the workout itself is enjoyable. This in itself makes the workout itself become addictive, making you look forward to each workout. I've found never, ever to do "as much as I can", because the body does not gauge "too much" very well while it is warmed up during the workout. Injuries only set us back, so avoiding them at all cost is paramount, even if that means stopping the workout at 75%-80% of what you think you have left.

5. Remember there's another reason to exercise. Medical science now knows that failure to exercise is more harmful than smoking and drinking combined, so by exercising we are fending off a gazillion other health issues that would otherwise haunt us when our sugaring days are behind us.

[Walruscl]

I've written a great deal about how much difference staying in shape can make.

And I wish I had taken your advice earlier. Though once you end up in a pattern with a very long-term SB it's easy to slack off, just like in civvie relationships. It was when the relationship with her came crashing down hard that I found myself in a mental space that fueled my weight loss and fitness training. It was a pretty negative space (summer was brutal, emotionally), but I was able to rescue something positive out of all that. The trick is to stay invested in it, and so far so good, as I'm continually seeing a return on that investment.

[BamBam]

Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.

Your input is appreciated.

J.

That sounds like a perfect situation in which to pass her over to someone else in your area as a favor. He either reciprocates now or later. All you have to do is give her his number and he acts like he is your profile. Guys are always asking me to trade off an SB I am leaving and I have never found a safe way to do so. This may be the only way. Before initial contact.

BAM.

[Javazer]

Funny thing happened to me this week. I stumble on a hot chick newly separated in my area of NH on SA, I know the girl because I interviewed her for an opening I had for my company and she ended choosing another place over mine. Now I find her on SA but did not give my pictures, I have a SO and if I reveal my identity it would be just awkward and risky for my situation. I have her number but hesitant to get in touch.

Your input is appreciated.

J.

[JZLizard]

Got myself squarely into the green zone after getting dead serious about my diet and keeping up with weight training starting last summer. Lost 25 lbs and I now have noticeable muscle definition. Can't compete with a gym rat, but I definitely now like what I see when I take off my shirt in the bathroom mirror.

And yes, it makes a huge difference. Your game is naturally better because you look good and you know it. Losing 25 lbs easily shaves 5 years off your looks, and your self-esteem probably another 1-2 on top of that. When it comes time for FC, you look forward to getting naked. Not am I only in better shape than the majority of 50-somethings, I'm in better shape than most of the SB's I've encountered. My latest flakey one actually apologized as we were getting started that she hadn't been to the gym in awhile. Prior to that, as we were sipping wine on the couch, she commented on how firm I was when she was stroking my chest through my shirt.

Anything and everything you can do to shatter their preconceived notion that sex with an older guy is something to endure rather than enjoy will pay off handsomely.

And that extends beyond the bowl. I carry myself with much more confidence now. I'm thrilled every day when I put on the 32 W jeans that haven't fit in years, and now are actually starting to be a little loose on me. Can't recommend trimming down highly enough!

I've written a great deal about how much difference staying in shape can make. It does far more for the overall SD experience than any other single factor -- everything from attracting better SBs, to allowing endless sexual endurance without pills. Women are attracted to alpha males, and alphas don't let themselves get lazy and out of shape, because they want the competitive edge at all times. I can't tell you how much free pussy (well -- free of direct payment that is) the cost of a gym membership has bought me in the bowl.

Regular exercise elevates your natural testosterone levels, and when it comes to T levels, no SB has ever thought to herself "less is more".

A good SB already (as opposed to an escort) has a natural preference for much older men, and while escorts and UTRs will do anything for money, the kind of SBs most of us are after do look for SDs they are physically attracted to. It's hard for an 18-22 year old to be attracted to a lazy schlub of any age, or a guy who has money but let his looks go. But the vast majority of them get horny for a successful and ambitious older man who works out and who can fuck them better than guys half his age.

[JustLonely]

Continuing on the Married theme, I have had 2 college SB's in the last week tell me they were not interested because I was married. One had not seen it on my profile and it wasn't until we were planning our second date that I off handily mentioned needing to get home by 10 pm. She said she wasn't going to be that "other woman". So that ended before the fun started. The other just this morning was willing to "meet for massages but no sex with a married man". That pleasure would cost me 300.

[JustLonely]

My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.

I had 9 months with a married 25 yo SB. She said she felt under appreciated. It was hot and heavy for 7 months. I even got her to grow out her pussy hair as that is what I like on a woman. She said her hubby wouldn't care as wouldn't go down on her anyway. So she got her confidence back as a woman and decided she wanted out of her marriage and told him so. That didn't go over so well with him. That situation dampened her mood and her marriage problems soon become the dominant conversation when we were together. I like to be supportive but I also view my time with an SB as my escape not a therapy session. So we drifted apart. She separated from her husband and now has a new job and new boy friend for real.

So for now I avoid the married ones and the open relationship ones. The OR SBs are another story with jealous boyfriends.

[Javazer]

My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.

I can concur with your assessment, I am with one right now since July and we would be dripping just by giving me a BJ, still one of my ATF. Had to take a few weeks break but will get in her shortly.

Enjoy the bowl!

J.

[Hungre1234]

I know married SBs aren't a new thing, but I just met one who's married and in an open relationship. We did a M&G and kept in touch via text for a few weeks. Got some hot pics and vids over those few weeks. Finally got to the FC and it was all that and a bag of chips. She's a definite keeper. A hot late 30's SB, with few inhibitions. God bless the Sugar Bowl.

Anyone else had experiences with married SBs? Pros? Cons? Pitfalls to watch out for?

My one con with a married sb was her getting too attached. Just be careful, many of the married ones are neglected at home and more sensitive to attention a man might give her. Otherwise I've enjoyed the married ones.

[HollywoodGuy]

On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.

This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.

I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.

I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .

Its such a small world. I am messaging this girl as listed in L. A. Everything is going great and then she tells me she is currently going to school in boston. LOL. All this, while I am replying to you. I guess she really does live here (L. A.) but goes to school there. Coming here for the holidays, Hope she follows through, as we seem to be in total agreement.

[HollywoodGuy]

On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.

This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.

I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.

I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .

I think GPS is universal and constant everywhere. But I will admit that if I see a girl mention in her post that she just moved here (L. A.) from the east coast I mostly shine them on. I don't know how much time you spend online, but you really do have to dig to find the gold. Statistically my numbers would look pathetic on a pie chart. Luckily there are a lot of girls to hit up. Maybe less in your area. Don't know.

[Walruscl]

Maybe its time to up your game?

On one hand, touche. On the other, the hotter / more-in-shape SB's in my area (Boston) have serious GPS issues that seem to defy any amount of game. Most of them basically insist on talking $$$ before even meeting. So either you refuse to meet, or you inevitably find out that they have GPS and you have no ability to counter it with game.

This just happened to me today. It was odd since the SB was definitely pursuing me on the site, asking why I had gone silent at one point (first, she asked about $$$ on the site, second, I was busy with other things, but that wasn't the excuse I gave). When we finally got to text, she was asking $ to meet for dinner, and $$ for each intimacy meet. I told her I don't pay for NSA's, and that I couldn't do five but would be willing to talk about it when it became clear that we had enough chemistry for the discussion to be relevant. She told me it was non-negotiable, so I wished her well.

I guess one upside is I didn't waste time on an NSA.

I will say that my regular SB's body is a Venus de Milo worthy work of art, and is still in great shape despite a six month hiatus from the gym. So I'm not doing *all* that badly. .

[HawkJock]

I know married SBs aren't a new thing, but I just met one who's married and in an open relationship. We did a M&G and kept in touch via text for a few weeks. Got some hot pics and vids over those few weeks. Finally got to the FC and it was all that and a bag of chips. She's a definite keeper. A hot late 30's SB, with few inhibitions. God bless the Sugar Bowl.

Anyone else had experiences with married SBs? Pros? Cons? Pitfalls to watch out for?

I've met 5-6 married ladies from the SB websites. One was in an open relationship, the rest were looking for a side piece. I'd say, from my experience, they are not SB per se. They are using the SB websites to find, what they assume, upscale and non-dramatic dudes. Guys that are not going to blow their cover, etc. Only one would let me give her money on rare occasion. All of them wanted to sexually experiment and do stuff they've seen in porn that their old man wouldn't do. They are one of the better kept secrets.

The con would be their availability. They tend to not be able to meet a couple times a week. Pitfalls would obviously be a jealous husband that seeks to level the score thru violence or other destruction. I met one married lady who's husband had caught her before, who was charged with attempted vehicular manslaughter after T-boning her fuck toy at 75 mph at an intersection.

Be careful and stay safe dude.