"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**Walruscl** · 11-05-18 07:42

Originally Posted by DrSummer [View Original Post]

My inclination is to propose her that I go visit her. In worst case, I will be wasting my 1. 5 hr drive that I am willing to take the chance for her.

She is new to the site and naive may not have thought though all. But a girl agree to drive for 1. 5 hrs with out no guarantee of a date and allowance is odd to me. Am I thinking of this too much of it? Any advice from our veterans?

Your inclination is good, you're not out much if you do the commute and it will be a good litmus test.

My SB surprised me by coming my way on our first NSA, though that was only like 45-50 minutes and she didn't ask for gas money. She's also a 20-something with other sources of income, which probably is the other difference. Gas money may be more on an 18 yo college student's radar, especially if you're talking a 3 hr round trip.

So if your POT agrees to meet you on her turf, the gas money thing will probably turn out to be a false red flag.

**DrSummer** · 11-05-18 06:50

I have been talking to this 18 yr old college freshman. She joined SA two days prior to my first message. She has two profile photos that don't look like stock photos. Very cute girl. I sent a fairly long first message describing what my expectations are (I told her I was looking for 2 to 4 meets per month). I have only one profile photo with no face. In her first message she says she really liked my profile and I seemed genuine, but due to her school work she can commit only to 2 meets per month. She is 1. 5 hr drive away from me. She gave me the option either I visit her or she can drive to me whichever I preferred. I told her that we could meet that weekend, she replied she had obligations that weekend but next weekend is free and we could meet. Again in the second message she emphasizes that either she could visit me or I can visit her. I told her next weekend is fine and we would figure out details later.

Here is my dilemma now. An 18 yr old college student agrees to meet me and drive to me 1. 5 hrs even with out asking few more photos to see how I look like (I give the option of more photos sent via text or email in my profile). Obviously I am suspicious, and the next message would be "send me $100 first for gas money to come and see you". But if it is the case why would she make it more appealing to me by agreeing for weekly visits. If she is going to scam, why not scam that weekend, but wait for another week to scam me?. Her profile seems genuine, and has the "friends with benefits" tag. She has not logged on to the site during the weekend she said she had "obligations". She is really my type, if she is real and someone I am not going to take a chance messing up the opportunity. I have two options, agreeing to drive to her next week, and see if she insists driving to me. Then I know it is a scam. Or asking her to come and see me. If she is a scam I wouldn't loose anything anyway. Only worry I have is that if she agrees to come to me and another guy gives her a better deal (with no travel) before we meet she will be tempted to take that offer. My inclination is to propose her that I go visit her. In worst case, I will be wasting my 1. 5 hr drive that I am willing to take the chance for her.

She is new to the site and naive may not have thought though all. But a girl agree to drive for 1. 5 hrs with out no guarantee of a date and allowance is odd to me. Am I thinking of this too much of it? Any advice from our veterans?

Play Safe.

Dr. S.

**DrSummer** · 11-05-18 06:09

I had my second encounter of "period scam" last night. So, this has happened to me twice with two different girls In both cases, Asian girls. First one was 27 yr old and the second one 20 yr old. Both are college students. As with anyone else, I made it clear to them, first allowance will only be given after we finish FC visit. With first one, we had a "no allowance" platonic dinner before FC visit the following day, the second one straight to FC after a coffee. With first one we agreed for 250 for the date, the second one said what ever I have given to my previous SBs is ok. In both cases, we went to hotel rooms, obviously they knew what to expect. When we get in to the act half undressed in the room, they tell me they are on period. In both cases, I told them why they didn't mention it before heading to hotel room. First one said it just started, and the second ones answer was "well you didn't ask me". Both agreed to give me BBBJ (actually did a good job), but in both cases, they are packed and ready to leave after the job was done. In both cases, I cut down the allowance by half. First one bitched about it via texts and the second one kept quiet. I am sure they are not street walkers looking to give a BJ for 300. I confirmed with our chat and background check that both are real college girls. Both are cute girls with good personality I liked. I would have definitely repeated with them, if the "period" incidence didn't happen. Did I over react? On the other hand, there are several girls who mentioned to me beforehand they were on period on the day we were to hit FC, and gave me the option to go ahead with the date or reschedule. I always reschedule of course, no FC for me when they are on period. I guess it would be awkward to ask a girl if they are on period when we are ready to hit FC. How do you guys handle this issue if it happened to you?

Play Safe,

Dr. S.

**RogerOver** · 11-04-18 15:31

Originally Posted by HollywoodGuy [View Original Post]

Just thought I would share this.

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/show...ar-Daddy-Sites

Posts 3412 & 3413.

Good to see you back in this forum! Links to your specific posts:

The 12 Steps of Sugar Dating Anonymous

The 12 Traditions of Sugar Dating Anonymous

I'm going to drop this in the cincy thread as well. Thanks!

**HollywoodGuy** · 11-04-18 12:42

Just thought I would share this.

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/show...ar-Daddy-Sites

Posts 3412 & 3413.

**RedBaron69** · 11-04-18 12:38

I got the same scam, worked for a bit and played with her. Said she had a friend that wanted to meet also. I told her we could just go shopping. That ended the conversation. LOL.

Damn, SA has become a target rich environment. !

Originally Posted by BStreet [View Original Post]

Is a scammer. Tried to get me to send her 3 Amazon gift cards online to purchase oils and toys for our sexual activities next week with her bi- friend Tara. Looking for a man to join them now. Seemed legit for a bit in our texting but TGTBT. I offered to buy or reimburse and she sends the exact same text in response.

**LikItFun** · 11-04-18 11:42

Originally Posted by Walruscl [View Original Post]

A nice bonding experience.

For me, talking about past SA experiences is a great way to break the ice with a pot SB over what our arrangement might be. I normally start by asking them about their experience so far, and make a point to ask them about their worst SA horror story. That inevitably leads to them asking about my horror stories, and then the conversation turns into ATF stories. Almost always leads to a discussion about what our arrangement will be. It definitely works for me. Likit.

**Madaboutmax** · 11-04-18 07:08

When I first started in the bowl I was reluctant to talk about past experiences not wanting to sound like a player. Now, I've found that speaking of my past experiences gives them confidence I know what I'm doing, credibility that I've had long successful arrangements, and a source for many entertaining stories that puts them at ease and helps us build rapport.

I don't go into great length about past sexual experiences and don't share all of my "work history" but rather pick key points in my "experience" that apply. LOL.

I've found that past success attracts more women than not. I just make sure I describe it as success from the girls point of view as well.

They almost always ask why they ended so I am prepared for that question.

[1 QUOTE=Zcochran00;4011693]I'm curious: have you or others found that it's _good_ to talk about prior SBs / experiences with current ones? I've had a few ask me "Have you done this before? But I generally just limit my answers to "yes, I've had some prior arrangements" and don't go any further. Part of that is operational security, part is just not wanting to go into personal details, and part is thinking that actually discussing details would cause problems.

If anyone's had experiences where discussing prior SBs was a _good_ thing, I'm curious how and why. [ / QUOTE].

**Walruscl** · 11-04-18 04:27

Originally Posted by Zcochran00 [View Original Post]

I'm curious: have you or others found that it's _good_ to talk about prior SBs / experiences with current ones? I've had a few ask me "Have you done this before? But I generally just limit my answers to "yes, I've had some prior arrangements" and don't go any further. Part of that is operational security, part is just not wanting to go into personal details, and part is thinking that actually discussing details would cause problems.

If anyone's had experiences where discussing prior SBs was a _good_ thing, I'm curious how and why.

I guess for me it's a been a context thing, and useful to be able to address an issue or question with a more concrete answer based on experience. Like: "oh, yes, I've had good luck handling this XXX thing by doing YYY". It puts them at ease by being able to speak knowledgeably to their questions or concerns. A reverse example was when, early on, I was expressing how pleased / surprised at how my SB didn't blink an eye at being 45-60 minutes away (and traffic permitting at that). She immediately was able to casually respond that, "no problem, I had one arrangement where I would drive 2-1/2 hours each way when I saw my SD. ".

But personally I've not treated it as bragging rights or like a resume or anything. Just a handy tool when relevant topics come up, and almost never at a personal detail level.

The recent exception (and this went both ways, given her August SD and my August SB experience were something of a train wreck) was talking about priors in the context of how my SB is such a better experience, giving a few details along the way. A few weeks ago we had some pillow talk where I heard more detail about how she was both gaslighted and then never compensated by the jerk she was with in August. In return I shared some more detail with her about how much of a personality mismatch mine turned out to be, how she is pretty much a polar opposite to that prior SB, and that I was glad things worked out better for both of us in the end. A nice bonding experience.

**Zcochran00** · 11-04-18 02:17

Originally Posted by Walruscl [View Original Post]

Totally same deal here with my 20-something past vs my 50-something present. Being personable and in shape goes a long way. I'm sure many 20-something SB's have this really negative mental image of a 50-something dude (remember how impossibly old that seemed to us), and blowing that stereotype to bits certainly doesn't hurt.

While I've not been a dance-card-always-full SD, I've accumulated enough experience that I can see where that makes me more attractive. Being able to confidently and casually talk about previous experiences with POTS definitely has an effect on how they see you.

I'm curious: have you or others found that it's _good_ to talk about prior SBs / experiences with current ones? I've had a few ask me "Have you done this before? But I generally just limit my answers to "yes, I've had some prior arrangements" and don't go any further. Part of that is operational security, part is just not wanting to go into personal details, and part is thinking that actually discussing details would cause problems.

If anyone's had experiences where discussing prior SBs was a _good_ thing, I'm curious how and why.

**BStreet** · 11-04-18 00:54

Is a scammer. Tried to get me to send her 3 Amazon gift cards online to purchase oils and toys for our sexual activities next week with her bi- friend Tara. Looking for a man to join them now. Seemed legit for a bit in our texting but TGTBT. I offered to buy or reimburse and she sends the exact same text in response.

**Walruscl** · 11-03-18 20:11

Originally Posted by Madaboutmax [View Original Post]

I've had a great experience in the Sugar World. I've enjoyed a great variety of beautiful young women and a few long term "real life relationships" with women half my age.

I've found the more variety I've had the more variety I've craved. Somehow, that's made me more of a lifetime partner candidate for some. I've found that as a successful, in shape, reasonably attractive, middle aged man, not desperately seeking a partner and maybe overly confident because of my bowl success I am now in hi demand. I've had 6 women, who are half my age, discuss wanting marriage and children with me.

Maybe it is an indictment of younger men today, but more likely plays to a need many women have to be talen care of by a dominant type a personality male.

I'm much more successful with women now that I'm in my 50's than I was in my 20's.

Totally same deal here with my 20-something past vs my 50-something present. Being personable and in shape goes a long way. I'm sure many 20-something SB's have this really negative mental image of a 50-something dude (remember how impossibly old that seemed to us), and blowing that stereotype to bits certainly doesn't hurt.

While I've not been a dance-card-always-full SD, I've accumulated enough experience that I can see where that makes me more attractive. Being able to confidently and casually talk about previous experiences with POTS definitely has an effect on how they see you.

For now I'm tired of the chase, so holding onto this catch and experiencing her from a LTR angle is pretty appealing. I know that it will inevitably end, and am prepared for it to be sooner than later, because you never know what curveball will come your way (or for that matter, hers). Maybe then I'll try shifting gears a bit, as my life situation and personal needs will likely have evolved.

But for now, I'm good.

**Madaboutmax** · 11-03-18 19:54

I've had a great experience in the Sugar World. I've enjoyed a great variety of beautiful young women and a few long term "real life relationships" with women half my age.

I've found the more variety I've had the more variety I've craved. Somehow, that's made me more of a lifetime partner candidate for some. I've found that as a successful, in shape, reasonably attractive, middle aged man, not desperately seeking a partner and maybe overly confident because of my bowl success I am now in hi demand. I've had 6 women, who are half my age, discuss wanting marriage and children with me.

Maybe it is an indictment of younger men today, but more likely plays to a need many women have to be talen care of by a dominant type a personality male.

I'm much more successful with women now that I'm in my 50's than I was in my 20's.

I have a few drinking buddies that know my success with younger women, but none that I've shared my whole bowl experience with.

Originally Posted by Walruscl [View Original Post]

Now I know that there's a lot of SD's here that are focused on and looking to maximize time in the FC, often with a variety of SB's. With my first LTR SB, things were definitely oriented towards FC time, both quality and quantity. That morphed into something a little too real, and not entirely in a good way.

Different life situation now, and I find myself buying into the notion that it can be "the whole package". Certainly my current SB is in that category. Since we can spend evenings and overnights, we spend a lot of time just enjoying each other's company, and when planning dates that is the main focus. My place? Her place? Eat out? Cook for each other? Binge watch or take in a movie? While we usually cuddle and tease a bit, sex doesn't happen every date. And frankly, just like an IRL relationship, we're still working on getting on each other's wavelength when it does happen. And my past self would be out the door by now given the latter, but we're going into our third month and I'm willing to work on that given everything else is going so well.

I've had just such a great experience so far, it's a little frustrating that the social stigma is such that I basically have to keep this all to myself. No drinking buddy to share how she is pretty but in an unglamorous way, which makes her all the more attractive. How, in contrast, her body is a work of art. Sharing how I had almost a schoolboy crush on her for the first few weeks. How right it felt when it clicked, right down to the paint colors she used in her apartment. How effortless conversations are. How it gets better every time we are together, and we open up to each other a little more. How exciting it is that we have our first weekend trip together soon. How, despite all this NRE ("New Relationship Energy") I am fully aware that this is not an IRL relationship, and am careful to keep some emotional distance.

So am I the only one with this problem? There is, of course, this forum as an outlet. But there's the oversharing problem (which I'm doing a little bit in this post) that limits how much can be said in confidence.

Who do you turn to when your SB just rocks your world and all you want to do is share the experience with someone?

**LikItFun** · 11-03-18 15:32

Originally Posted by Walruscl [View Original Post]

Who do you turn to when your SB just rocks your world and all you want to do is share the experience with someone?

Here, I guess. The SB I'm seeing right now is definitely in the "too good to be true" category. I'm going to enjoy her as long as I can!

Last summer, I was talking to a friend and he brought up that he had a lady friend on the side. So I said, "hey me too!" So, we compared pics and stories and that was that. Other than that one conversation, I haven't talked to anyone about my SA habit.

Also, it's fun to swap SD / SB stories with your SB. There sure are some great stories out there, ranging from the horror stories to the happily ever after (at least for one SB any way).

Likit.

**MacSpazSpam** · 11-02-18 23:31

It's definitely what prevents me from partaking. It's intriguing to read the tales shared here and want to take some action, but very concerned about what it would be like to actually take action. I'm not the happiest with my SO and wish I had an opportunity to do things in real life but the other costs are too big (at least in my mind now).