"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[DoggieFan]

Various sites give possible matches of relative. So even if you did not send in DNA, your kid, sibling, etc. Could have. So baby of SB, if DNA sent in might get a report that there is a possible half sibling, uncle, etc.

Here is how it can come back to bite you.

My SO got the DNA test done to see where her families originated from.

You also get info on relatives that had took the test. A couple of her cousins came up, plus a second cousin she didn't recognize.

Email addresses are provided for the matches. She emailed the adult male in Texas. He said he was adopted and didn't know his biological Mom but his adopted mother said her last name was ______, my SO’s Mom's maiden name.

Due to his age it couldn't have been her Mom or one of her three sisters, but one of her older cousins. Back in the day there where a lot of babies born out of wedlock were put up for adoption.

I think most people doing those type of tests are over 18 so you wouldn't get hit up financially but no fun explaining it to your SO!

[Al Melrose]

This is not a world where you can be found through DNA testing if your DNA has not been tested. I know about the test lab people send DNA samples to for ancestor identification, now limited to finding out if you are a German or whatever decedent not so you can find your long lost father at least not if his DNA is not in the data bank. With NSA and other government and non government snooping (Google for one) it is becoming harder to protect your privacy. Universal DNA testing is too horrible to contemplate.

Various sites give possible matches of relative. So even if you did not send in DNA, your kid, sibling, etc. Could have. So baby of SB, if DNA sent in might get a report that there is a possible half sibling, uncle, etc.

[InTight]

In a world where you can track down relatives through DNA testing, doesn't that upset the illusion that anonymity can protect you from an unplanned, undesired, or unknown pregnancy?

This is not a world where you can be found through DNA testing if your DNA has not been tested. I know about the test lab people send DNA samples to for ancestor identification, now limited to finding out if you are a German or whatever decedent not so you can find your long lost father at least not if his DNA is not in the data bank. With NSA and other government and non government snooping (Google for one) it is becoming harder to protect your privacy. Universal DNA testing is too horrible to contemplate.

[Member #6951]

In a world where you can track down relatives through DNA testing, doesn't that upset the illusion that anonymity can protect you from an unplanned, undesired, or unknown pregnancy?

[YayaGogo]

Agreed. Young girls always have and always will love clothes. I've also found that once I'm in an arrangement, watching their faces light up as you occasionally spend a couple hours going shopping with them to pick out a dress, lingerie or shoes they love ends up costing much less than an allowance, and boosts their sense that they don't feel like a h00 ker. They will do pretty much anything for you after that, and it's also fun watching them try on things for you. I say occasionally as most times we straight up meet at the FC.

*I buy makeup gift cards from Sephora at most malls. Again, I only pull those out as a way to clinch the deal AFTER I've verified on the initial meet if the girl is absolutely top shelf AND we click. I've only done it twice ever and they both were girls very new to the site (under one week), down to earth demeanor, and flooded with messages by competing SD's in my area. After starting things with me they also took down their profiles and have never been on since (verified by dummy / separate account). You have to be very selective if you're going to just hand out gifts. Good luck!

Yaya.

Ulta is the Department store of beauty products.

Sephora little more sophisticated.

Blue Mercury top of the heap.

Also, SpaWish or SpaFinder (same company, diffrerent brand) Gift Cards can be bought at Sams Club for 20-25% off a $100 card.

Other GCs are available at less discounts (some local restaurants offer 20- 30% off, iTunes and Starbucks are like 5%.

So compensating your SB costs even less, and they will never know.

But being able to pick something out for them that they love will melt their hearts and spread their legs faster than anything. Half the time I meet my regular SB, I've sent her a $100 dress or pair of shoes the week before our meeting, and she ends up happy with that and the hotel cost reimbursement. They tend not to know what things cost -- especially things they can't afford -- and I get all kinds of deal emails for places like Shoes.com that offer $40 off a $100 purchase -- so a $150 retail pair of shoes costs me $60 and gets me DPing her with toys while she blows me.

[Ernest Ll]

YayaGogo, what makeup chain store did you buy from? I can't say that I would know the first thing about which store to get get it from, LOL!

Ulta is the Department store of beauty products.

Sephora little more sophisticated.

Blue Mercury top of the heap.

Also, SpaWish or SpaFinder (same company, diffrerent brand) Gift Cards can be bought at Sams Club for 20-25% off a $100 card.

Other GCs are available at less discounts (some local restaurants offer 20- 30% off, iTunes and Starbucks are like 5%.

So compensating your SB costs even less, and they will never know.

But being able to pick something out for them that they love will melt their hearts and spread their legs faster than anything. Half the time I meet my regular SB, I've sent her a $100 dress or pair of shoes the week before our meeting, and she ends up happy with that and the hotel cost reimbursement. They tend not to know what things cost -- especially things they can't afford -- and I get all kinds of deal emails for places like Shoes.com that offer $40 off a $100 purchase -- so a $150 retail pair of shoes costs me $60 and gets me DPing her with toys while she blows me.

[DSmith2704]

YayaGogo, what makeup chain store did you buy from? I can't say that I would know the first thing about which store to get get it from, LOL!

I've never paid a girl just to meet her to see if we're compatible, although I have had a few that asked. IMO there's no reason to do that as there's no guarantee that the two of us will click. For me it's just a red flag that the girl is shortsighted, getting some bad advice, or simply a 'rinser' looking to just get paid for being pretty and showing up. As such I politely decline and quickly move on.

*I always pick up the tab for coffee or lunch in the M&G, and in two occasions have given a gift card from one of the popular makeup chain stores to gorgeous, young hardbody coeds (if we hit it off) as the clincher. Both girls acted like they died and went to heaven and immediately wanted to begin things.

[YayaGogo]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

I've never paid a girl just to meet her to see if we're compatible, although I have had a few that asked. IMO there's no reason to do that as there's no guarantee that the two of us will click. For me it's just a red flag that the girl is shortsighted, getting some bad advice, or simply a 'rinser' looking to just get paid for being pretty and showing up. As such I politely decline and quickly move on.

*I always pick up the tab for coffee or lunch in the M&G, and in two occasions have given a gift card from one of the popular makeup chain stores to gorgeous, young hardbody coeds (if we hit it off) as the clincher. Both girls acted like they died and went to heaven and immediately wanted to begin things.

[MoSlow]

Sooo, what's the deal with the new payment options? I always used to do the PayPal option. Haven't had a subscription for a few months. Tried to re-up, and can't do it by PayPal.

Are you guys just using your personal cc's? I went to the store and thought about getting a prepaid one, but it clearly states on the back of all the cards that they can only be used for transactions IN the us, to help fight terrorism, blah blah. And I saw on some post where someone's card was declined because it was an international transaction.

Anyone know of any way to use a type of cc where you don't have to give your name / info? I searched for subscription and membership in this thread and didn't find anything helpful.

It doesn't address your personal info being shared but some card issuers provide an "internet" card number where you can set a short time limit and a spending cap. There used to be some browser security add-ins that would "tokenize" your card info to keep your info private.

Hopefully these might help a bit for what you are after.

Be safe,

Mo.

[CrazySpice]

[Deleted by Admin]

You need to never do this again.

A2

[CoolPix]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

I've only had one M&G that didn't lead straight to the FC but I gave her a $25 Starbucks card and we agreed to meet but I decided I wasn't interested after meeting in person (see, M&Gs go both ways gents). But I'm also pretty up front with my expectations and don't pull the trigger until I've found one that I'm serious about bedding. To each his own and this takes quite a bit of time to find the right SB but they're out there.

[Walruscl]

IMO the choicest girls on the site are the ones who don't want to be paid for sex, and so paying them for a date without sex is the easiest way to get them to have sex with you.

Good way to put it.

Apologies for the length, but I think it's an interesting story of how things can go when you go against conventional wisdom when your instincts are telling you to adapt to the circumstance.

As background, I've had some real mixed luck for the past few months, and by mid-August it was becoming clear that I had seriously misjudged my compatibility with an SB I started two weeks prior. Along the way I had seen a profile on SA of a 20-something that was interesting enough to for me to keep it in my favorite's, it was not enough for me to initiate contact. It was right around that time that she reached out to me asking if I was still looking. Was totally honest with her about what was going on, but she was game to strike up a conversation anyway. Shortly after I broke loose from my August SB and started the NSA dance.

One of my concerns was distance, as we're about 45 minutes apart in good traffic. When I asked her where she'd like to go out, she picked a place that was basically 10 minutes from me, which was surprising. In person she greatly exceeded my expectations. In retrospect, she was sending "I'm good to go" vibes in spades already. The "they-decide-in-the-first-five-minutes" rule in action. But I wanted another NSA to be sure, since August was such a fail.

For the 2nd NSA I offered to do the commute, and she picked a place really close to her. How do I know? While I'm on the road she asks if I'd rather carpool, and when I agreed she texts me her address. I took her up on it, and turns out her place is right on the way and only five minutes from the restaurant. During dinner and subsequent walk around town, I couldn't find anything wrong and an enormous amount that was right. Right down to where we got to negotiating a monthly (yes, another contrarian view), and when I said I couldn't do her first number, the second number she came back with was exactly what I had in mind. (to mitigate the risks of a monthly, we agreed to it split into two contributions each month).

So, after all that, I'm finally getting to the relevant part.

Now that we had come to an agreement, she offers to have us drive back to my place, go to hers, stay out, or whatever. We had already agreed to have overnights be part of the arrangement, so I agreed to just hang at her place that night, since she was offering. Fairly soon after that she mentioned that "I may not feel like having sex tonight", which I reassured her was fine. So we spend the rest of the evening curled up on her couch, drinking wine, talking, finding even more things we have in common, and end up just sharing her bed. Up until bedtime there had been plenty of physical flirting to signal that she was interested but for whatever reason didn't want to go there just yet.

While I'd prefer not to have the ambiguity, I'm figuring worst case I will have had some really pleasant companionship-something I value equally at this point. But if it doesn't clear the next hurdle in two weeks, I could cut my losses.

On the second overnight, a week later at my place, that hurdle was cleared and there's no longer any doubt that we're on the same page. I think in this particular instance it went a long way to allow her to let the sex develop more organically.

And she's the real deal. We have enough in common to make conversations effortless, but enough differences to keep them interesting. She is utterly down-to-earth, in the game both for the people-aspect as much as helping out her finances. She's pretty but not glamorously so, and as I found out on the second overnight, has a perfectly-proportioned athletic physique that is showing no signs that her teenage years are over. She can host, has no issue making the commute when I'm able to host, so there's no hotel overhead involved.

So sometimes it makes sense to bend the rules when your instincts are telling you that you've got a rare opportunity at landing "one of the good ones".

[BookerTNelson]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

Hell no. I would never do it, but to each their own.

[JZLizard]

You are a braver man than I. I mean, "Aside from a paternity suit..." -- I'm a single guy like yourself, but holy s* I can't think of an outcome from sugaring much worse than that. You've written before about your penchant for BB and CIP, and while I'd be hard pressed to find anything more pleasurable than nutting deep inside a 21 year old co-ed, I have no idea how you sleep at night (not morally, but worry-wise).

It's almost always bareback for me, but nutting inside them is the exception rather than the rule. My preference is to unload in their mouth or just spray their face or body. CIP usually only happens when their oral skills aren't good enough to get me off, or sometimes I just get the random urge. But I also don't stay with any one of them long enough to be too worried about it, and I also probably wouldn't cum inside if I thought my true identity had been compromised already.

In terms of being able to sleep nights -- I have gotten one pregnant, and yes it was incredibly stressful until I saw confirmation of the abortion paperwork, but that was a long time ago and my skills toward avoiding big problems are orders of magnitude better now. Not saying it could never happen, but between my sexual habits, the level of diligence I exert toward protecting my anonymity, and the fact that I don't stay with one long enough for her to devise a plan of attack, there's just not enough there to justify any level of preemptive paranoia.

[RogerOver]

Try acquiring a bit of skill. You never use anything other than cash at a estaurant where you're pinned down into seats and vulnerable (because servers often mention the name on a card when they bring it to you), preferably not at a bar either, and if at a bar and you absolutely must use a card, never sit close to where tabs are being closed out -- leave her at the table to watch your jacket and her purse or whatever while you close it out. Anyone who has spent any amount of time protecting their identity knows that if you're really planning on surviving in this lifestyle, you need to be thinking about it at all times. And, if something unexpected happens and she does find out your name, then close the situation gracefully, without incident, and move on to the next. And, if you ever run into one stupid enough to say something like now that she knows your name she's going to google it, you just put on your poker face, say something funny like you hope she doesn't read about your serial killer background, and play it off like you couldn't care less. Then you send her home with cum stains on her dress, telling her you'll call her again and then you go dark.

Or optionally, just don't get married and leave all your assets on the table (that's the path I took). That, combined with a reasonable but not paranoid level of anonymity protection, keeps my cock happy enough. Aside from a paternity suit, there's not much any of these SBs could do to my life (other than moderate professional embarassment maybe) that could bring me down even if they tried.

Because I've designed around it.

I've opted for number two. Not married and don't give a fuck if the girls know who I am. Generally, though, I'm eating at higher end places, dropping it on the expense credit card, and don't feel like the administrative overhead of getting my money back later.

I was providing an example of how everyday interactions can lead to a girl finding out your real name. I think my skill levels are doing ok. LOL.