"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[CrazySpice]

[Deleted by Admin]

You need to never do this again.

A2

[CoolPix]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

I've only had one M&G that didn't lead straight to the FC but I gave her a $25 Starbucks card and we agreed to meet but I decided I wasn't interested after meeting in person (see, M&Gs go both ways gents). But I'm also pretty up front with my expectations and don't pull the trigger until I've found one that I'm serious about bedding. To each his own and this takes quite a bit of time to find the right SB but they're out there.

[Walruscl]

IMO the choicest girls on the site are the ones who don't want to be paid for sex, and so paying them for a date without sex is the easiest way to get them to have sex with you.

Good way to put it.

Apologies for the length, but I think it's an interesting story of how things can go when you go against conventional wisdom when your instincts are telling you to adapt to the circumstance.

As background, I've had some real mixed luck for the past few months, and by mid-August it was becoming clear that I had seriously misjudged my compatibility with an SB I started two weeks prior. Along the way I had seen a profile on SA of a 20-something that was interesting enough to for me to keep it in my favorite's, it was not enough for me to initiate contact. It was right around that time that she reached out to me asking if I was still looking. Was totally honest with her about what was going on, but she was game to strike up a conversation anyway. Shortly after I broke loose from my August SB and started the NSA dance.

One of my concerns was distance, as we're about 45 minutes apart in good traffic. When I asked her where she'd like to go out, she picked a place that was basically 10 minutes from me, which was surprising. In person she greatly exceeded my expectations. In retrospect, she was sending "I'm good to go" vibes in spades already. The "they-decide-in-the-first-five-minutes" rule in action. But I wanted another NSA to be sure, since August was such a fail.

For the 2nd NSA I offered to do the commute, and she picked a place really close to her. How do I know? While I'm on the road she asks if I'd rather carpool, and when I agreed she texts me her address. I took her up on it, and turns out her place is right on the way and only five minutes from the restaurant. During dinner and subsequent walk around town, I couldn't find anything wrong and an enormous amount that was right. Right down to where we got to negotiating a monthly (yes, another contrarian view), and when I said I couldn't do her first number, the second number she came back with was exactly what I had in mind. (to mitigate the risks of a monthly, we agreed to it split into two contributions each month).

So, after all that, I'm finally getting to the relevant part.

Now that we had come to an agreement, she offers to have us drive back to my place, go to hers, stay out, or whatever. We had already agreed to have overnights be part of the arrangement, so I agreed to just hang at her place that night, since she was offering. Fairly soon after that she mentioned that "I may not feel like having sex tonight", which I reassured her was fine. So we spend the rest of the evening curled up on her couch, drinking wine, talking, finding even more things we have in common, and end up just sharing her bed. Up until bedtime there had been plenty of physical flirting to signal that she was interested but for whatever reason didn't want to go there just yet.

While I'd prefer not to have the ambiguity, I'm figuring worst case I will have had some really pleasant companionship-something I value equally at this point. But if it doesn't clear the next hurdle in two weeks, I could cut my losses.

On the second overnight, a week later at my place, that hurdle was cleared and there's no longer any doubt that we're on the same page. I think in this particular instance it went a long way to allow her to let the sex develop more organically.

And she's the real deal. We have enough in common to make conversations effortless, but enough differences to keep them interesting. She is utterly down-to-earth, in the game both for the people-aspect as much as helping out her finances. She's pretty but not glamorously so, and as I found out on the second overnight, has a perfectly-proportioned athletic physique that is showing no signs that her teenage years are over. She can host, has no issue making the commute when I'm able to host, so there's no hotel overhead involved.

So sometimes it makes sense to bend the rules when your instincts are telling you that you've got a rare opportunity at landing "one of the good ones".

[BookerTNelson]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

Hell no. I would never do it, but to each their own.

[JZLizard]

You are a braver man than I. I mean, "Aside from a paternity suit..." -- I'm a single guy like yourself, but holy s* I can't think of an outcome from sugaring much worse than that. You've written before about your penchant for BB and CIP, and while I'd be hard pressed to find anything more pleasurable than nutting deep inside a 21 year old co-ed, I have no idea how you sleep at night (not morally, but worry-wise).

It's almost always bareback for me, but nutting inside them is the exception rather than the rule. My preference is to unload in their mouth or just spray their face or body. CIP usually only happens when their oral skills aren't good enough to get me off, or sometimes I just get the random urge. But I also don't stay with any one of them long enough to be too worried about it, and I also probably wouldn't cum inside if I thought my true identity had been compromised already.

In terms of being able to sleep nights -- I have gotten one pregnant, and yes it was incredibly stressful until I saw confirmation of the abortion paperwork, but that was a long time ago and my skills toward avoiding big problems are orders of magnitude better now. Not saying it could never happen, but between my sexual habits, the level of diligence I exert toward protecting my anonymity, and the fact that I don't stay with one long enough for her to devise a plan of attack, there's just not enough there to justify any level of preemptive paranoia.

[RogerOver]

Try acquiring a bit of skill. You never use anything other than cash at a estaurant where you're pinned down into seats and vulnerable (because servers often mention the name on a card when they bring it to you), preferably not at a bar either, and if at a bar and you absolutely must use a card, never sit close to where tabs are being closed out -- leave her at the table to watch your jacket and her purse or whatever while you close it out. Anyone who has spent any amount of time protecting their identity knows that if you're really planning on surviving in this lifestyle, you need to be thinking about it at all times. And, if something unexpected happens and she does find out your name, then close the situation gracefully, without incident, and move on to the next. And, if you ever run into one stupid enough to say something like now that she knows your name she's going to google it, you just put on your poker face, say something funny like you hope she doesn't read about your serial killer background, and play it off like you couldn't care less. Then you send her home with cum stains on her dress, telling her you'll call her again and then you go dark.

Or optionally, just don't get married and leave all your assets on the table (that's the path I took). That, combined with a reasonable but not paranoid level of anonymity protection, keeps my cock happy enough. Aside from a paternity suit, there's not much any of these SBs could do to my life (other than moderate professional embarassment maybe) that could bring me down even if they tried.

Because I've designed around it.

I've opted for number two. Not married and don't give a fuck if the girls know who I am. Generally, though, I'm eating at higher end places, dropping it on the expense credit card, and don't feel like the administrative overhead of getting my money back later.

I was providing an example of how everyday interactions can lead to a girl finding out your real name. I think my skill levels are doing ok. LOL.

[Kwagmire]

Aside from a paternity suit, there's not much any of these SBs could do to my life (other than moderate professional embarassment maybe) that could bring me down even if they tried.

Because I've designed around it.

You are a braver man than I. I mean, "Aside from a paternity suit..." -- I'm a single guy like yourself, but holy s* I can't think of an outcome from sugaring much worse than that. You've written before about your penchant for BB and CIP, and while I'd be hard pressed to find anything more pleasurable than nutting deep inside a 21 year old co-ed, I have no idea how you sleep at night (not morally, but worry-wise).

[TomDickNHarry]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

It's not standard practice at all. Some guys do it when asked or as their default, but they're not actually converting any to the FC they wouldn't anyway even as they think they are.

If you're asked and refuse, in the proper and polite way where you explain where you're coming from, at least half will meet you anyway. The ones that won't are what are called rinsers, girls just looking to get paid to be bought dinner. And yes, that's a thing, some of them are very skilled at leading you to believe it's coming while they keep collecting platonic date money until you wise up and they find another sucker.

But the way you do it is you buy dinner, drinks, coffee whatever, some gas money if she drives in. Your time is as valuable as theirs and setting expectations that physical interaction is not required for assistance is how you get rinsed. In fact the true newbies I've had over the years, were not won over by money for platonic meets, but b / c I was willing to see them a few times for dates before expecting anything, usually just for coffee or drinks, to let them get comfortable. They got no allowances for that, I did a time or two provide a small gift (unasked) and I eventually converted almost if not all. The girl I'm ideally looking for values her comfort, safety, respect and that it will be positive and fun before proceeding.

[JZLizard]

All of this is just more proof that these girls are just hookers and we really think of them that way. Seriously, if I've been fucking a chick for 3 or 4 months, hiding everything becomes difficult.

For example, just take them to a bar (not a dive). Open a tab and give up your credit card. When you close, the bartender will walk up with the bill and your card and say, "thank you Mr. RogerOver. " I've had a girl tell me, "well, I'm going home and googling Roger Over. " LOL.

Try acquiring a bit of skill. You never use anything other than cash at a estaurant where you're pinned down into seats and vulnerable (because servers often mention the name on a card when they bring it to you), preferably not at a bar either, and if at a bar and you absolutely must use a card, never sit close to where tabs are being closed out -- leave her at the table to watch your jacket and her purse or whatever while you close it out. Anyone who has spent any amount of time protecting their identity knows that if you're really planning on surviving in this lifestyle, you need to be thinking about it at all times. And, if something unexpected happens and she does find out your name, then close the situation gracefully, without incident, and move on to the next. And, if you ever run into one stupid enough to say something like now that she knows your name she's going to google it, you just put on your poker face, say something funny like you hope she doesn't read about your serial killer background, and play it off like you couldn't care less. Then you send her home with cum stains on her dress, telling her you'll call her again and then you go dark.

Or optionally, just don't get married and leave all your assets on the table (that's the path I took). That, combined with a reasonable but not paranoid level of anonymity protection, keeps my cock happy enough. Aside from a paternity suit, there's not much any of these SBs could do to my life (other than moderate professional embarassment maybe) that could bring me down even if they tried.

Because I've designed around it.

[Ltnric]

No, it's definitely not standard practice, based on prior discussions. I'd cover a meal or coffee or something like that, but no outright gifts for a meet and greet.

I also agree not normal. Any girl who wants to get paid just to go out on a date isn't taking the SB life style seriously. I would skip that. The sad part is the last time I got on SA almost every girl wanted to get paid for M&G.

[Zcochran00]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

No, it's definitely not standard practice, based on prior discussions. I'd cover a meal or coffee or something like that, but no outright gifts for a meet and greet.

[TwoDirection]

One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

I almost always do, with the amount varying depending on how interested I am in the girl. Usually $50 to $100 though, since it's a short date. $200 would have to be a perfect 10 girl.

IMO the choicest girls on the site are the ones who don't want to be paid for sex, and so paying them for a date without sex is the easiest way to get them to have sex with you.

[Geechie Dan]

Are you guys giving any donations at the meet and greet? I have not been, although I do pay for the meal if a meal is involved. One chick just wanted me to give 200 for the M& G! Please advise. I'm not paying the 200, I just wanted to know if this is standard practice.

[VeryBigBuck]

I had that happen to me a month ago on a meet and greet. Same thing checking in a at hotel, I usually try to check in solo, but sometimes it is uncertain if a room will be needed.

At a hotel, I ask SB to sit down in one of the lobby chairs out of ear shot of the front desk to avoid hearing the name usage. Or use the digital key option that the hilton brands are using. The latter is not a sure thing, sometimes you must stop by the lobby anyway.

[Al Melrose]

All of this is just more proof that these girls are just hookers and we really think of them that way. Seriously, if I've been fucking a chick for 3 or 4 months, hiding everything becomes difficult.

For example, just take them to a bar (not a dive). Open a tab and give up your credit card. When you close, the bartender will walk up with the bill and your card and say, "thank you Mr. RogerOver. " I've had a girl tell me, "well, I'm going home and googling Roger Over. " LOL.

Seriously. Farfaraway, you keep mentioning that hot chick that "craves" you. She has no idea who you are IRL?

I had that happen to me a month ago on a meet and greet. Same thing checking in a at hotel, I usually try to check in solo, but sometimes it is uncertain if a room will be needed.