"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Member #6951]

You can always screw up, though. I have been messaging w / a super hot 30's bartender for quite a while. Finally met last week, thought there might be a connection. Electronic communication w / her is spotty, though, and the first time we spoke directly I was dropping into her hood, and she comes out w / a statement that she usually gets 5-600 from her customers. I really have little interest in escorting, for a variety of reasons, but the little head was in command in this instance. I went ahead for her steep price (at least she hosts), and regret it. IDK what I was thinking. I got the standard escort crap, she has TMJ so no BJ, all kinds of 'don'ts', clock watcher, not credible. I totally blew that $ - I came but feel like shit.

FFA this happens to me, too. The red flags are there and yet I blow by them sometimes. Just last night I got approached by someone (flag one. I have no pic and the message was generic, not keyed to anything in my profile). Turns out she is not in DC but is coming in for the holiday with no definite plans on when she might head back, so she wants to see what is out there (flag two. She is hunting). She is from NYC and leads pretty quickly with a price (flag three). The price is $$ plus her train ticket back. And she's staying with friends, so I would have to get a hotel. The costs alone are enough for me to be out, but she is extraordinarily attractive (very tall, perfect curves, beautiful face). Then she starts in with the decision pressure (flag four). She does show a willingness to negotiate down (when I make it clear I wouldn't envision an overnight, she drops to $$ plus the ticket home, which is now in the ballpark of what I might consider) and she does sound like she legitimately wants to spend a lot of time with me. But that rings false, because she has absolutely no idea who or what I am like, and has made no effort to try to assess that (flag five). I do some digging and Mr. Number gives me a first and last on the phone, which leads me to social media to confirm she is in fact who she says she is (a model who has spent a fair amount of her young adult life in NYC and SF, so that puts the pricing in perspective). And the pics are definitely for real. But then she loses me with the lame insults to my manhood for being wishy washy, as if it will provoke me to "man up" and say yes (flag six).

If she had led with a more reasonable price I might have fallen prey. And there is a legit chance she is for real and I am missing out. But from my perspective its a definite pass.

[JustLonely]

The last I heard, the Support Staff was making changes to the Search feature and will roll it back out soon.

Thanks to a fellow SA monger on the Baltimore forum, here is a workaround for the missing keyword (I. E. , potential SB's username) search. It works wonderfully!

RWARNMSN.

Safe mongering and sugaring!

Thanks! Worked great as I found the SA member I was looking for.

[JustLonely]

My SA premium just expired, and I clicked on the "Upgrade" button as usual to renew. But, this time it's only showing me the 1-month option, and while there's a credit card entry form, there doesn't seem to be a Paypal option. When I paid for this upgrade a month ago, I know I did it via Paypal, and pretty sure there were longer premium options listed.

Anyone else seeing this? Did they just change their payment setup or something?

Yep, some thing for me this week. Then my CC company declined the charge because it was overseas. I had to authorize it after BOA sent me a text.

[BStreet]

https://www.seekingarrangement.com/m...2-9063cd41022e

Hard to tell exactly what she may really look like.

[FarFarAway]

Nah, I'm still around. I'm just writing less these days. And, I don't think I was ever the dean of anything.

I usually try to talk about aspects of the scene that either haven't been discussed or that I think I can contribute something new to. That gets harder and harder, as I've written a lot in this thread, and I think that aside from the posts that are indexed, most of it ends up buried in a pile of thousands of posts and read only by a few. It's just hard to find topics that haven't already been thoroughly covered.

Simply a sign of respect. IK you're not the moderator. I agree with you, you pretty much get this SD game figured out after a while. I do like to prowl the threads to be sure I don't miss something new, FOSTA being the latest example, and you inevitably see? S from newbies who haven't come across an earlier post that provided our common knowledge. Guys just don't think to search the thread, and many may not have noticed the archive.

You can always screw up, though. I have been messaging w / a super hot 30's bartender for quite a while. Finally met last week, thought there might be a connection. Electronic communication w / her is spotty, though, and the first time we spoke directly I was dropping into her hood, and she comes out w / a statement that she usually gets 5-600 from her customers. I really have little interest in escorting, for a variety of reasons, but the little head was in command in this instance. I went ahead for her steep price (at least she hosts), and regret it. IDK what I was thinking. I got the standard escort crap, she has TMJ so no BJ, all kinds of 'don'ts', clock watcher, not credible. I totally blew that $ - I came but feel like shit.

[RWarNmsn69]

Just got back on SA after a 3 month break. What happened to the text search box?

The last I heard, the Support Staff was making changes to the Search feature and will roll it back out soon.

The keyword search feature is gone but you can still perform a keyword search by enetering the following in the URL:

&q=keyword.

For example: if you want to search for keyword of "Dtf" use the following:

https://www.seekingarrangement.com/s...cation=0&q=dtf

You can see other search filters I've used like within 100 miles of Arlington but the keyword search is at the end of the url. Just replace dtf with whatever you want to search for.

Thanks to a fellow SA monger on the Baltimore forum, here is a workaround for the missing keyword (I. E. , potential SB's username) search. It works wonderfully!

RWARNMSN.

Safe mongering and sugaring!

[Zcochran00]

My SA premium just expired, and I clicked on the "Upgrade" button as usual to renew. But, this time it's only showing me the 1-month option, and while there's a credit card entry form, there doesn't seem to be a Paypal option. When I paid for this upgrade a month ago, I know I did it via Paypal, and pretty sure there were longer premium options listed.

Anyone else seeing this? Did they just change their payment setup or something?

[JZLizard]

The archives, much of the info you are seeking is found there. Our past dean of this thread JZLizard, doesn't seem to be around these days. It is important that everyone transition from an old, monger model to the new model for arrangements, and for SA, otherwise, SA will go the way of CL and BP, with attacks from activist district attorneys looking to make a name for themselves w / the a*hole holier-than-thou hypocrites.

Nah, I'm still around. I'm just writing less these days. And, I don't think I was ever the dean of anything.

I usually try to talk about aspects of the scene that either haven't been discussed or that I think I can contribute something new to. That gets harder and harder, as I've written a lot in this thread, and I think that aside from the posts that are indexed, most of it ends up buried in a pile of thousands of posts and read only by a few. It's just hard to find topics that haven't already been thoroughly covered.

[JustLonely]

Just got back on SA after a 3 month break. What happened to the text search box?

[Ernest Ll]

Why does a sb who, had 5-6 good fuck sessions w / me and told me she liked getting w / me all of a sudden just stop coming or talking / texting? I mean she is still on SA actively looking and I just don't get it, pisses me off, LOL.

Variety is the spice of life.

Might be looking for a better $/ orgasm ratio.

Total sexual reprobate.

You picked the wrong pastime to be judgy.

[Kwagmire]

Two ways you can do this:

There's a link to a guide to the "BBCode" system for formatting text way at the bottom of the pages on the site here. I think most of the BBCode features have been inactivated to keep the forum clean; a policy I personally really appreciate. It's the reason this forum is one of the easier ones to read on the internet. Please use responsibly.

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/misc.php?do=bbcode

[Kwagmire]

I micro manage every aspect of my overall looks and health and you know what? Not only is it good for sugar dating, it's just good for overall health and well being.

I agree with this 100%, and it's definitely an area I need to work on. I transitioned from a fairly active job to one where I manage projects and people about 6 years ago in exchange for a lot more money. The inactivity, hours and constant stress that comes from the new gig has definitely taken its toll.

Thanks for the reminder. Time to hit the gym and take care of myself better.

[Cephlapod Love]

I don't know how to highlight one section of the quote here, but I responding to your part about cleaning up, staying in shape, etc. .

Two ways you can do this:

1) When you hit reply and the prior post shows up, just delete all of the text that is irrelevant. Make sure you DO NOT delete the stuff in square brackets! I can't show you that because the system has specific use for square brackets so they can not be typed, except when used "appropriately. " So I'll use { and } instead. So make sure everything at the beginning, stays there, that starts with "{QUOTE=" and ends with a number and "}". Then make sure at the END of what you want quoted there is this: {/ QUOTE}. Remember square brackets instead of { and }.

2) You can add bold inside of the quoted message by enclosing the text you want high lighted with {B} (at the beginning of the text) and at the end of the text {/ B}. Remember to replace the { and } brackets in my example with Square Brackets (next to the P on my keyboard).

If you hit a reply to this message you should be able to see the formatting for the bold added to the word "highlight"..

Hope that helps!

[GoneForDays]

Don't take it too hard, we all have to deal with the maturity thing. They just want to make the cash with the least amount of time expended.

She might just be using SA because he wants to communicate that way.

Why does a sb who, had 5-6 good fuck sessions w / me and told me she liked getting w / me all of a sudden just stop coming or talking / texting? I mean she is still on SA actively looking and I just don't get it, pisses me off, LOL.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Doc, thanks for such a detailed reply. There is a ton of great stuff in your post, and from what you wrote it's obvious I need to look at the whole sugar game a little differently. I'm going to start using pretty much everything you suggested. I underestimated the importance of avoiding the appearance of sugar being tied directly to sex (even though it really is), and enjoying the experience of dating itself. I'm too focused on being taken advantage of (because that's happened before), rather than having fun on the date.

I also like your idea about setting dates for 11 a or 5 p for the logistics of transitioning to dinner if she's impressive enough.

I'll check that book out. I got interested in psychology a few years ago while dating a woman who turned out to be borderline or NPD. Even after I sort of "figured her out" (to the extent possible) and setting boundaries that worked for me, and then ultimately splitting up with her because she insisted on constant drama and wasn't happy with a happy relationship, I am still fascinated by psychology.

True, the medium is the message.

I'm twice the age or more of the girls I'm going for, and I think men and women look at the sugar scene though their own lens. A lot of guys see an easy way to have sex quickly with the kind of women they otherwise would have a very hard time even meeting, much less going out with. Women see the dating aspect and imagine a very classy, wealthy, successful and well put together man, and in exchange for that they are willing to overlook the age gap to a larger degree.

So while I am successful, intelligent, classy and well mannered, I likely need to realize that I'm aging and focus on my attractiveness so you're right, I should work on my game and looks somewhat. I'm no where near "disgusting" but I could stand to lose a few and tighten up my presentation to help offset the age difference.

I'm seeing a theme in the replies here, and I probably need to concentrate on the dating aspect more than I have been. Build trust and try to create a vibe where we're both having fun.

I definitely don't use the "when the panties hit the floor" terminology with POTS, but I do like your line about starting allowance when she's comfortable enough for "alone time together. " I'll be stealing that one, thanks.

I don't know how to highlight one section of the quote here, but I responding to your part about cleaning up, staying in shape, etc. This is huge, as no younger girl wants to be pounded by an old obese slob, no offense to anyone. But facts are facts. I take this part of my game even further. I micro manage every aspect of my overall looks and health and you know what? Not only is it good for sugar dating, it's just good for overall health and well being. I basically bodybuild. I'm no pro, but could be a solid amateur bodybuilder. When I walk into meet these girls, they can tell, yes, I'm older, but to have my build, they know I have my shit together. I've had girls say they should be offering me allowance and a few probably meant it. I have little empathy for anyone who lets themselves totally go. So keep that in mind. My one vice that counters all this, is drinking. I do better with the girls when buzzed and loosened up, and since I'm dating them so much, I find myself having several drinks, multiple times per week and that has set me back. But drinking really helps me be more open as I can be a bit stiff without it.

My point is, if you're a 40 plus year old guy, get your hormones checked, get them in line and don; t just do some morning sit-ups and call it good, train your body, get in the best shape of you life and you'll do ten times better at this game. The girls will actually be into you! I speak from experience! And they best sex you can have with anyone, is someone having fun too and into it.

Two cents.