General Reports

[Harry Plopper]

This is a great lesson for all mongers. STFU when ever questioned by the popo. Just say nothing.

See below.

https://youtu.be/i8z7NC5sgik?t=22s

This abbreviation is called STFU. Let's translate it. For those that don't look at the tool bar with the abbreviations on top of this great forum, it stands for Shut The Fuck Up. Allow me to translate for you: If you are texting a provider for the first time, you need to STFU. So, what exactly does this mean, Vino? Well, it mean simply that you STFU. You do NOT talk about specific acts for roses, you do not ask her what you get for your roses, etc. It mean simply that you tell the girl what a great guy that you are, that you are clean and respectful towards women and that you would love to meet her for a certain time period. DUH! That's it! After all, you have READ the reviews on this wonderful girl on this great forum that you are a part of and you know what to expect before you make the text or the call. IDIOTS, THIS IS WHAT THIS FORUM IS FOR! Why, oh why, do you feel the need to confirm what you already know? Isn't this why we are all members on USASG? To find out the info that we want to know? Again, duh!!

Also, if you are going to TOFTT. You are hanging your shit into the wind if you start asking STUPID questions! If you discuss certain acts for roses, then you could possibly be setting yourself for a gargantuan FAIL if you go to see this girl! You see, if you are seeing the wrong girl then you have just made a certain Uncle's job SO much easier when you show up and knock on the door. This uncle will say that you have won an all exclusive trip to wonderful Orlando, FL with totally free accommodations with free meals served to you. Guess what? You have won all of this because you are one dumb, stupid mother fucker. Listen, if you TOFTT, then you must realize that you truly are TOFTT and act accordingly. Do not ask her for specific services. Save that for the second dream if you are TOFTT with a brand new girl.

Last, if you meet an Uncle that you do not care for. You simply MUST adhere to this advice: STFU! You have the RIGHT to a lawyer present during all questioning! Use this RIGHT! So many guys start blabbing and denying, etc. This just puts them into more trouble. Just STFU. Tell them that you do not understand what is happening and that you want to take your right to an attorney present during questioning. That's it! So many guys put their foot into their mouth and condemn themselves. Even DENYING can fuck you up. Just insist on your right to a lawyer and STFU!

This little rant / informative post is not a rebuttal to a certain incident. This is just a reminder to all guys in this hobby to STFU. It will serve you greatly in the long run!

[FL Guy]

Does anyone have any info on this chick says her name is Mia?

TGTBT?

[Yankee Doodle]

Saturday night was kind of odd there. Not my first visit, I just pulled in with my new UTR accidental discovery, (more about that later). It was a lady that came over, not the guy that acts like his hemorrhoids are bothering him. I just said 2 for 2 and she had one room left, took my 2 Jacksons and came back with the change, but said something about she went in with the money this time out of sight, but not again. I did not understand if something is changing. Other times I just pulled up, lowered window and paid and was told what room number. Also I had been leaving the light at Clarcona and went to the second entrance and pulled in, are they changing directions? Am I going up the down staircase? Same price of $28 for 2 hours for 2 people, and room was clean and nice but no soap to wash hands. Yd.

[Vino 7373]

This abbreviation is called STFU. Let's translate it. For those that don't look at the tool bar with the abbreviations on top of this great forum, it stands for Shut The Fuck Up. Allow me to translate for you: If you are texting a provider for the first time, you need to STFU. So, what exactly does this mean, Vino? Well, it mean simply that you STFU. You do NOT talk about specific acts for roses, you do not ask her what you get for your roses, etc. It mean simply that you tell the girl what a great guy that you are, that you are clean and respectful towards women and that you would love to meet her for a certain time period. DUH! That's it! After all, you have READ the reviews on this wonderful girl on this great forum that you are a part of and you know what to expect before you make the text or the call. IDIOTS, THIS IS WHAT THIS FORUM IS FOR! Why, oh why, do you feel the need to confirm what you already know? Isn't this why we are all members on USASG? To find out the info that we want to know? Again, duh!!

Also, if you are going to TOFTT. You are hanging your shit into the wind if you start asking STUPID questions! If you discuss certain acts for roses, then you could possibly be setting yourself for a gargantuan FAIL if you go to see this girl! You see, if you are seeing the wrong girl then you have just made a certain Uncle's job SO much easier when you show up and knock on the door. This uncle will say that you have won an all exclusive trip to wonderful Orlando, FL with totally free accommodations with free meals served to you. Guess what? You have won all of this because you are one dumb, stupid mother fucker. Listen, if you TOFTT, then you must realize that you truly are TOFTT and act accordingly. Do not ask her for specific services. Save that for the second dream if you are TOFTT with a brand new girl.

Last, if you meet an Uncle that you do not care for. You simply MUST adhere to this advice: STFU! You have the RIGHT to a lawyer present during all questioning! Use this RIGHT! So many guys start blabbing and denying, etc. This just puts them into more trouble. Just STFU. Tell them that you do not understand what is happening and that you want to take your right to an attorney present during questioning. That's it! So many guys put their foot into their mouth and condemn themselves. Even DENYING can fuck you up. Just insist on your right to a lawyer and STFU!

This little rant / informative post is not a rebuttal to a certain incident. This is just a reminder to all guys in this hobby to STFU. It will serve you greatly in the long run!

[BobKeBob]

https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg

I was only a little G when this was popular so didn't understand it well. Now I am a Big G, I totally get it. He was rapping about a provider. She was stringing him along bigly. Hmmm makes you think.

[BobKeBob]

Durex break easy and are a pain in the ass to unroll. The lube on them is nasty too.

I have been using CROWN, which is "the preferred condom of porn stars" but I am not so happy with the feel.

[RoadWarrior2K]

Sunny pulled the same thing on me. Left Kissimmee and 15 minutes from Sunny's place she texted me and said she had to go out and do something. She said she would get back to me but never did. Not a wasted trip cause I had to check on my boat.

It wasn't Sunny that was texting me. I just thought it was Sunny. It was actually another provider explaining why she was offline for two or three days. The Sunny I'm referring to has been an extremely reliable provider. Never had an issue with her in the three years I've know her. She shares a home with Dakota, another provider.

[Sexifun]

As some of you may know, I don't see a lot of different women. If I have two or three that I'm comfortable with and vice versa, I'm a happy camper. However, I still follow the ads and read the forum daily and keep an eye out for new talent because, as everyone knows, circumstances change. There's a redhead in Kissimmee that I promised myself I'd like to see if or when circumstances changed. Well, recently one of my regulars dropped out of the rotation and I got in touch with Sexifun aka Summer who advertises on USA and BP. We've exchanged a few PMs in the past so we've known about each other but have never met. I've seen pictures of her but she doesn't have a clue what I look like. Last weekend I sent her a PM that I'd like to meet on Wednesday. Because she wants new clients to call before meeting, I told her I would call her on Monday or Tuesday. She said she was looking forward to that. Well, on Monday I called twice and on Tuesday I called maybe five times. There was never an answer and every call went to voicemail. I'm thinking one of three things has happened: (1) Something has happened and she's unable to answer her phone, (2) She's really really busy, or (3) She's changed her mind about seeing me. Wednesday morning arrives and I still haven't heard from her so I sent her a text telling her all my calls went unanswered.

So now that the Kissimmee trip is cancelled, I give Sunny in Palm Bay a text. I've known Sunny for three years. She only asks for 100 but I donate an extra 40 because she's such a sweetheart. Sunny replies immediately and we arrange to meet at 1:00 PM. The time is now 10:55. When I finished shaving, it's almost 11:45 and time to take the magic pill, something us old guys have to do. Then I shower, get dressed, feed the cat and I'm out the door. I'm literally a half mile from Sunny's place and I get a text "Sorry, had a family emergency, just got home. " It's now 12:55, two hours since I last heard from Sunny, and I'm thinking she'll probably have to grab a shower and not a problem so I text her that I'm almost there. I immediately get a response that she has family there and we have to reschedule. Are you kidding me? Why did she wait to tell me this five minutes before I'm supposed to arrive? I text back that I just wasted a magic pill. When she texted back mentioning her son, I suddenly realized something was amiss. Sunny doesn't have any children. This isn't Sunny I'm having a conversation with. I look at the top of the screen and it says Summer. Ohh, crap! Egg on my face. Summer was explaining why she hadn't answered any of my calls and I thought it was Sunny. Apparently she has two phones and left her business phone at home while she was away. So I quickly sent Summer an apology explaining what happened. I can only imagine what she was thinking since we never had a chance to talk and I have no idea where she's located other than Kissimmee so how could I possibly be "almost there". Summer, if you're reading this, my apologies, again, and I'll be in touch. And yes, I turned around and drove back to Sunny's place where she was waiting for me at the door. It turned out that I didn't waste that pill after all. RW.

I am glad you posted this, I was pretty confused. As some members here know I have a son who's a little accident prone. It seems like once a year he decides to wreck a skateboard, dirt bike, and now car. Pretty much anything with wheels. Again I hope to see you soon and I am back available for anyone who wants to celebrate st pats with a real Irish redhead.

[JustJenna]

A provider I was with recently had a Durex in a blue wrapper. Not sure which model this was but the sensitivity was very good. I checked a couple stores but with no success thus far.

PG.

Durex break easy and are a pain in the ass to unroll. The lube on them is nasty too.

[Dixie Prowler]

As some of you may know, I don't see a lot of different women. If I have two or three that I'm comfortable with and vice versa, I'm a happy camper. However, I still follow the ads and read the forum daily and keep an eye out for new talent because, as everyone knows, circumstances change. There's a redhead in Kissimmee that I promised myself I'd like to see if or when circumstances changed. Well, recently one of my regulars dropped out of the rotation and I got in touch with Sexifun aka Summer who advertises on USA and BP. We've exchanged a few PMs in the past so we've known about each other but have never met. I've seen pictures of her but she doesn't have a clue what I look like. Last weekend I sent her a PM that I'd like to meet on Wednesday. Because she wants new clients to call before meeting, I told her I would call her on Monday or Tuesday. She said she was looking forward to that. Well, on Monday I called twice and on Tuesday I called maybe five times. There was never an answer and every call went to voicemail. I'm thinking one of three things has happened: (1) Something has happened and she's unable to answer her phone, (2) She's really really busy, or (3) She's changed her mind about seeing me. Wednesday morning arrives and I still haven't heard from her so I sent her a text telling her all my calls went unanswered.

So now that the Kissimmee trip is cancelled, I give Sunny in Palm Bay a text. I've known Sunny for three years. She only asks for 100 but I donate an extra 40 because she's such a sweetheart. Sunny replies immediately and we arrange to meet at 1:00 PM. The time is now 10:55. When I finished shaving, it's almost 11:45 and time to take the magic pill, something us old guys have to do. Then I shower, get dressed, feed the cat and I'm out the door. I'm literally a half mile from Sunny's place and I get a text "Sorry, had a family emergency, just got home. " It's now 12:55, two hours since I last heard from Sunny, and I'm thinking she'll probably have to grab a shower and not a problem so I text her that I'm almost there. I immediately get a response that she has family there and we have to reschedule. Are you kidding me? Why did she wait to tell me this five minutes before I'm supposed to arrive? I text back that I just wasted a magic pill. When she texted back mentioning her son, I suddenly realized something was amiss. Sunny doesn't have any children. This isn't Sunny I'm having a conversation with. I look at the top of the screen and it says Summer. Ohh, crap! Egg on my face. Summer was explaining why she hadn't answered any of my calls and I thought it was Sunny. Apparently she has two phones and left her business phone at home while she was away. So I quickly sent Summer an apology explaining what happened. I can only imagine what she was thinking since we never had a chance to talk and I have no idea where she's located other than Kissimmee so how could I possibly be "almost there". Summer, if you're reading this, my apologies, again, and I'll be in touch. And yes, I turned around and drove back to Sunny's place where she was waiting for me at the door. It turned out that I didn't waste that pill after all. RW.

Sunny pulled the same thing on me. Left Kissimmee and 15 minutes from Sunny's place she texted me and said she had to go out and do something. She said she would get back to me but never did. Not a wasted trip cause I had to check on my boat.

[PharmaGuy]

Trojan Ecstasy Her Pleasure! No smell, easy on, and I've never had one break mid-session.

A provider I was with recently had a Durex in a blue wrapper. Not sure which model this was but the sensitivity was very good. I checked a couple stores but with no success thus far.

PG.

[RoadWarrior2K]

As some of you may know, I don't see a lot of different women. If I have two or three that I'm comfortable with and vice versa, I'm a happy camper. However, I still follow the ads and read the forum daily and keep an eye out for new talent because, as everyone knows, circumstances change. There's a redhead in Kissimmee that I promised myself I'd like to see if or when circumstances changed. Well, recently one of my regulars dropped out of the rotation and I got in touch with Sexifun aka Summer who advertises on USA and BP. We've exchanged a few PMs in the past so we've known about each other but have never met. I've seen pictures of her but she doesn't have a clue what I look like. Last weekend I sent her a PM that I'd like to meet on Wednesday. Because she wants new clients to call before meeting, I told her I would call her on Monday or Tuesday. She said she was looking forward to that. Well, on Monday I called twice and on Tuesday I called maybe five times. There was never an answer and every call went to voicemail. I'm thinking one of three things has happened: (1) Something has happened and she's unable to answer her phone, (2) She's really really busy, or (3) She's changed her mind about seeing me. Wednesday morning arrives and I still haven't heard from her so I sent her a text telling her all my calls went unanswered.

So now that the Kissimmee trip is cancelled, I give Sunny in Palm Bay a text. I've known Sunny for three years. She only asks for 100 but I donate an extra 40 because she's such a sweetheart. Sunny replies immediately and we arrange to meet at 1:00 PM. The time is now 10:55. When I finished shaving, it's almost 11:45 and time to take the magic pill, something us old guys have to do. Then I shower, get dressed, feed the cat and I'm out the door. I'm literally a half mile from Sunny's place and I get a text "Sorry, had a family emergency, just got home. " It's now 12:55, two hours since I last heard from Sunny, and I'm thinking she'll probably have to grab a shower and not a problem so I text her that I'm almost there. I immediately get a response that she has family there and we have to reschedule. Are you kidding me? Why did she wait to tell me this five minutes before I'm supposed to arrive? I text back that I just wasted a magic pill. When she texted back mentioning her son, I suddenly realized something was amiss. Sunny doesn't have any children. This isn't Sunny I'm having a conversation with. I look at the top of the screen and it says Summer. Ohh, crap! Egg on my face. Summer was explaining why she hadn't answered any of my calls and I thought it was Sunny. Apparently she has two phones and left her business phone at home while she was away. So I quickly sent Summer an apology explaining what happened. I can only imagine what she was thinking since we never had a chance to talk and I have no idea where she's located other than Kissimmee so how could I possibly be "almost there". Summer, if you're reading this, my apologies, again, and I'll be in touch. And yes, I turned around and drove back to Sunny's place where she was waiting for me at the door. It turned out that I didn't waste that pill after all. RW.

[VegasGuyFl]

Or we can fuck our wives occasionally. A little free pussy.

Lmfao yea I guess that would be an option too.

[JustJenna]

Just wondering what is the best condom? Complicated question I know, so break it down:

Best one for sensation.

Best one for std prevention.

Interesting look / feel or smell?

Trojan Ecstasy Her Pleasure! No smell, easy on, and I've never had one break mid-session.

[Count1]

With all of us east mongers coming over your way for the great AMP action, I can turn you on to an East Coast connection. You MUST have a prescription (any doc will write you one) but West Cocoa Pharmacy compounds generic Cialis or Viagra. The Viagra (just like the real thing) makes me feel funny, flush, and red all over. However, the compounded Cialis works just like the real pill (because it is the same active ingredient), and costs about $50 (fifty dollars) for 25 or so doses. Highly recommended, and fully legal.

You can get the generic version of Cialis from Canadian Pharmacy World. It is 44 bucs for 82 of the 5 mg pills of Tadalafil. You do need a doctor's prescription for it though. You can go online and try to order from them. They will send you a form to take to your doctor. You can just drop this form off at the front desk of your doctor's office and the staff will fax it in for you. No shipping costs and you will have it in your mail box in less than two weeks.

That might be difficult for you married guys but I'm sure you can use a PO Box instead.