"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[MaxxLapper]

IS it possible to search on LinkedIn or look at profiles anonymously? If I am looking around there for dates or a baby I sure am not interested in letting a SB know my real name, work location, etc, just in case she goes wacko on me. So is there a way to do that and keep the lives separate?

Create a separate but credible linked in profile. Takes a little effort, but is feasible.

[MaxxLapper]

One thing I've found helpful is to ask her sometime when you're hanging out, once things are established with her, to show you some awful messages she's gotten on SA, or awful profiles. Ask her what she didn't like about each one she shows you. You can improve a lot from seeing the mistakes other guys are making.

Bingo, well said! Whenever I had them complain about how creepy some gents were, I would casually say - "Oh how creepy could they really be, do tell!" and they would usually spill all the nasty details, once they felt comfortable with you.

[MaxxLapper]

One additional downside of treating SA like BP is that it tends to scare away my target demographic. Women who don't think of themselves as escorts get turned off quickly when propositioned for straight up pay for play.

Just like in strip clubs, proposition the right dancer you can get lucky, proposition the wrong dancer get slapped and thrown out by the bouncer.

I wish more guys knew how to navigate the waters and not scare away the newbies. Pros aren't hard to spot!! LOL.

Mad, I have a contrary opinion. The more gents that treat them badly, the more jaded they become, and the more receptive they are when you treat them with a little kindness, sincerity, and validation. Treat them like hos and that's what you will find. Treat them like women who have some issues that you are there to listen to, and the success rate is much different. It does take a lot more time though, so that's the trade off.

[MaxxLapper]

I wouldn't be too surprised by that kind of interaction.

1) Dudes who use SA as an escort site are what ruins it for those of us who truly seek an on-going arrangement. Sigh.

2)Sadly bad behavior by a few often dissuades others from posting or sharing. Sigh.

So none of these stories of bad monger behavior surprise me anymore, sadly. Can you imagine dealing with that sort of "attitude" 100-times over on a daily basis like someone here has to? Yousa!

Honor among thieves? Honor among mongers?

Couldn't agree more with this. The SA experiences I had were fantastic, but also draining. Took to much effort before I learned to identify according to what their needs were, as has been explained here. There are many fellas who are looking for strict transactional meetings. Others who flat out are creepers and scare the girls, because of the twisted sex acts they ask about, right off the bat, before getting to know them, even just a little bit.

So, even though there is all this bad behavior, in my experience it makes it all the more better when you show them you are an alpha male who won't be pushed around, and show the respect and validation a lot of them are craving. Great thread gents.

[JZLizard]

You can't always trust I'd's many of these girls carry fake ones. They can buy them online. This is why I won't see anyone I cannot 100% assure is over like 20. The law doesn't give a shit if she showed you a fake I'd, or she met you in a bar, or talked about her dorm at college, if she's had sex with five hundred men before you, if she's under age, you are royally screwed. One cannot be too careful in this area. This why for me, I generally only going to the ones in their mid twenties. Many 16-7 year old looks 22 and many 22 year olds look 15-16. I prefer them to have some experience under their belt anyhow. I'm not about exploring any younger woman. Not my cup of tea.

As for the meet and greet and being in public? The looks will generally come from middled age, fat, let themselves go women. And I could CARELESS what they think. The men are always envious and most don't seem to notice. It's become common place for younger women to date older men. And I'm not that old anyhow. LOL Just go about your business and don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Trust me, they all got their own skeletons.

That particular date wasn't at the M&G, I had already spent a few days with her when that occurred. In her case, I already had her first / middle / last name and confirmed age before the first meet. Once you have some info on her, you can usually find out everything including the age of parents and siblings with a quick search or two.

I normally go for the 18-25 demographic (more for reasons of attitude than looks. I find that any older than that and they are usually clingy or marriage minded. I think awareness of the biological clock kicks in around age 27 and they really start thinking about their future, having kids, etc. And I don't want a future or kids with them).

The other thing I like about the younger ones is they have limited experience with everything, so you have the chance to be their first on a lot of things. They are just easily impressed / wowed, and it's fun to watch their face light up over trivial matters. I always find more been there done that attitude as the age range goes up. Most girls that are sugar baby material become really curious about having a sugar daddy around age 18-22, so I often find the ones that are mid twenties or higher have already been in the bowl for a while.

In terms of fake IDs, I've been fortunate in the sense that I've been able to verify age on most of the younger ones I've met. I do always like to try to remain aware of age of consent in whatever state I'm visiting though.

[FruitNinja]

Don't quote me on the URL, as I understand it is tricky to get right, but something like predatorsalert.com. It consists of photos of guys and their phone #s, and accusations such as 'offers $ for sex'. If you pay them $ you can get your pic taken down. I believe people have gotten texts from the site alerting them to being on it and suggesting they pay. Flat-out extortion. Put yourself in a position where you can ignore this. Some people have evidently been successful getting photos taken down by DMCA requests to their photo host, imgur.com. There are other strategies. Perhaps search these threads with a keyword like predator to see what others have experience. They were SDs in Wisconsin, Georgia, etc. The belief is that fake profiles on SA were used to get people's profile pic, messaging to get the phone #s.

I don't show my face on my profile picture but I think I will stick with google voice from now on.

[DirtyDeeds38]

I recently had a 21 yr old that looked a lot younger than her age -- most would guess she was about 16-17. It was surprising to me how rarely anyone ever looked twice at us, even with public displays of affection in busy places.

One time she forgot her I.D. card while we were at a restaurant for dinner. After we already placed our food orders, she decided she wanted a daiquiri. When I said I would order for myself and give it to her, we got a couple of looks as some thought I must be ordering for a minor. Only minutes after starting to sip the drink, she started talking out loud about specific sex acts she wanted us to do after dinner, within earshot of everyone around. Now THAT was fun, and definitely got some attention and wide grins from some nearby nosy eavesdroppers. LOL. And she couldn't care less that they heard her. I'm known for "high volume payloads" during orgasm, and she was very into the cum bath experience -- it was new to her and apparently a latent fantasy of hers before she met me. I bet the nearby diners really appreciated hearing about that as they looked down at their salad dressing...

You can't always trust I'd's many of these girls carry fake ones. They can buy them online. This is why I won't see anyone I cannot 100% assure is over like 20. The law doesn't give a shit if she showed you a fake I'd, or she met you in a bar, or talked about her dorm at college, if she's had sex with five hundred men before you, if she's under age, you are royally screwed. One cannot be too careful in this area. This why for me, I generally only going to the ones in their mid twenties. Many 16-7 year old looks 22 and many 22 year olds look 15-16. I prefer them to have some experience under their belt anyhow. I'm not about exploring any younger woman. Not my cup of tea.

As for the meet and greet and being in public? The looks will generally come from middled age, fat, let themselves go women. And I could CARELESS what they think. The men are always envious and most don't seem to notice. It's become common place for younger women to date older men. And I'm not that old anyhow. LOL Just go about your business and don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Trust me, they all got their own skeletons.

[FarFarAway]

Predator sites? I'm not sure I understand this scam. Please elaborate for the greater good.

Don't quote me on the URL, as I understand it is tricky to get right, but something like predatorsalert.com. It consists of photos of guys and their phone #s, and accusations such as 'offers $ for sex'. If you pay them $ you can get your pic taken down. I believe people have gotten texts from the site alerting them to being on it and suggesting they pay. Flat-out extortion. Put yourself in a position where you can ignore this. Some people have evidently been successful getting photos taken down by DMCA requests to their photo host, imgur.com. There are other strategies. Perhaps search these threads with a keyword like predator to see what others have experience. They were SDs in Wisconsin, Georgia, etc. The belief is that fake profiles on SA were used to get people's profile pic, messaging to get the phone #s.

[JZLizard]

Don't let societal norms dictate your behavior. You'll get some looks at times. I take my girl everywhere. And she's always doing public displays of affection. She doesn't care, I don't care.

I recently had a 21 yr old that looked a lot younger than her age -- most would guess she was about 16-17. It was surprising to me how rarely anyone ever looked twice at us, even with public displays of affection in busy places.

One time she forgot her I.D. card while we were at a restaurant for dinner. After we already placed our food orders, she decided she wanted a daiquiri. When I said I would order for myself and give it to her, we got a couple of looks as some thought I must be ordering for a minor. Only minutes after starting to sip the drink, she started talking out loud about specific sex acts she wanted us to do after dinner, within earshot of everyone around. Now THAT was fun, and definitely got some attention and wide grins from some nearby nosy eavesdroppers. LOL. And she couldn't care less that they heard her. I'm known for "high volume payloads" during orgasm, and she was very into the cum bath experience -- it was new to her and apparently a latent fantasy of hers before she met me. I bet the nearby diners really appreciated hearing about that as they looked down at their salad dressing...

[Cephlapod Love]

Predator sites? I'm not sure I understand this scam. Please elaborate for the greater good.

The scam is this: Someone poses as a SB, gets "uneducated" dude to respond and supply his cell phone number, picture and / or social media links. (or such is "mined" once guy reveals his true identity -real name, phone number tied to SM.) THEN said phone number, picture, other personal information AND actual texts of correspondence is entered in to a searchable website, a site with some name suggesting it is outing pedophiles or sexual predators or just demonstrating a dude is willing to pay for sex.

So, one does a Google search on their name, phone, number or whatever and here is the content of communications with "a girl" - which of course shows that the dude was looking for sex for money or other perversions. {Great find, especially when one is applying for a job, dating or applying for a loan or anything else the requires a background check.} Next step is an email to the target / victim claiming that they had been "discovered" on one of these sites and it was possible it was an error AND for a small "administration fee" of say $500 the website would conduct an investigation, and if found to be false, remove the "file. ".

Key point is that said websites are usually hosted in India or other off shore locations which is out of reach legally to most USA based victims. No way to get a court order to have info removed. BUT the fact is that if it is true, dude DID contact a girl then there is nothing "inaccurate" or malicious, so a court is going to be loath to get involved. Courts aren't a remedy when one is breaking the law or behaving badly.

So yeah, it is extortion of sorts but being off shore what can one do? Only option is pay the "fee" and hope the scammers are honest enough to take your info down off of their searchable site.

Look, years ago one of the most popular TV shows was a reoccurring segment on Dateline called "To Catch A Predator. " A vigilante organization called PJ worked with LE. {text deleted that described show - site admin not likely to appreciate such} BUT the popular series was abruptly halted. Turns out some of the "tactics" employed by PJ did not live up to scrutiny and the TV show & LE could no longer be associated with the group. But the key is that PJ has not gone away, they continue to operate as an independent vigilante group. So there are "watchers" out there and groups not bound by normal legal constraints that could be phishing for your info.

Oh, and 4 years ago there was a scam running on BP as reported in this post and discussed in follow up posts/comments:
http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...=1#post2117372

All of this of course points to why it makes sense to have a hobby phone, not in one's name and a GV number layered on top of that! Oh and before one selects a GV number, might make sense to google it and see what pops up!

[FruitNinja]

On a couple of other SB threads, there is discussion of a *very active* campaign of getting profile pics and numbers from SA, and posting them on a predator site (seeking $ to get the post removed). This can obviously be a HUGE problem for those of us w / SOs. Be careful who you give pic access to. Use GV for your burner.

Predator sites? I'm not sure I understand this scam. Please elaborate for the greater good.

[FruitNinja]

As someone pointed out, you're very wise to research the bowl as you are, before starting. And the Highlights / Index / FAQ thread is a great place to start, because of the categorization of posts.

In terms of age difference, I think here is where some misconceptions exist among newcomers to sugar culture (or those who have been in an extended marriage or for whatever reason have limited experience dating younger girls).

Believe it or not, there are TONS of young girls out there that are actually MORE attracted to older men than guys their age. Sure, there are some that will say anything to increase their income flow too, but the majority of girls on SD sites have at least a moderate attraction to much older guys, and many of them won't date young guys, with or without sugar. Their reasons are sometimes rooted in daddy issues, but there is a bigger reason for this, which comes down to the men are from mars women are from venus thing.

While we are most attracted to a hot looking young female, particularly sans clothes, the same is not really true for them when it comes to the male body. More than anything, women are turned on by whoever makes THEM feel HOT. We are more into the visual aspect, they are more into the feeling aspect. Girls that are super hot can get wet and horny just looking at themselves in the mirror. Even if they are not bisexual, they get turned on by the overall look of a great female body. So, the hotter THEY FEEL, the hornier they get. For many of them, young guys are too immature, lack ambition and don't know how to make a women feel hot, so they feel more appreciated by older men who are more sexually experienced, and thus they enjoy sex and the overall experience more.

Certainly there are women who don't fit that description, but the great thing about SA and such -- they tend to cluster the kind of girls I just described into one location, so you don't have to deal with the hot looking 35 year old cougars that chase young men.

So basically if you're feeling awkward or somehow at a disadvantage due to the age difference, you'll want to get over that first, because the age difference is exactly what a lot of these girls seek. The same physical features that make you look in the mirror and say to yourself that getting old sucks are often the same ones that make her panties wet. The one exception to that is that I think that every SD needs to focus on staying fit. I've never heard an SB say she is attracted to someone out of shape.

Spot on! They all have daddy issues. Make them feel pretty and special and you're in. Don't let societal norms dictate your behavior. You'll get some looks at times. I take my girl everywhere. And she's always doing public displays of affection. She doesn't care, I don't care.

[WildBill225]

You'd be surprised what you can find on LinkedIn and other business sites when fishing for 20 somethings.

A shocking number of them use a LinkedIn photo in the galleries, or their profile photo for tutoring or dog walking services. But the LinkedIn search function is gold.

Was messaging a grad student in Boston, who later revealed she was in Providence at Brown, but willing to drive. She told me her major and undergrad school. Guess what, there is only one person at Brown for Grad School that went to SDSU for undergrad. I've used alma mater and industry to verify an advertising account exec in Chicago.

Google reverse image search is probably only 50% accurate. I've been surprised how many times I've used it, found nothing, but found them by other means and there is half their profile gallery on facebook or instagram with no matches.

My way is to just be very nice and act like a gentleman when talking to them and just straight up ask them for a social media like Facebook or Instagram and the real good girls that you want to actually meet and put the time into will 99% of the time give it to me. The ones that don't you can tell are on drugs or are UTR or pro. I go for the college age or just out all the time. With great success rates.

[FarFarAway]

Chatting w / a bowl brother today, he related he had a POT who planned to take him to her college dorm room, and I opined that the "Dorm Room Experience" is something every SD aspires to. LOL.

[JZLizard]

Is it ever immediately awkward when you see her, she sees you, and your age difference is so stark that you feel guilty for even being there? (I know this sounds judgmental, it isn't intended that way. I think one thing holding me back is fear of how to behave in these types of situations / combinations that I have absolutely no experience with).

As someone pointed out, you're very wise to research the bowl as you are, before starting. And the Highlights / Index / FAQ thread is a great place to start, because of the categorization of posts.

In terms of age difference, I think here is where some misconceptions exist among newcomers to sugar culture (or those who have been in an extended marriage or for whatever reason have limited experience dating younger girls).

Believe it or not, there are TONS of young girls out there that are actually MORE attracted to older men than guys their age. Sure, there are some that will say anything to increase their income flow too, but the majority of girls on SD sites have at least a moderate attraction to much older guys, and many of them won't date young guys, with or without sugar. Their reasons are sometimes rooted in daddy issues, but there is a bigger reason for this, which comes down to the men are from mars women are from venus thing.

While we are most attracted to a hot looking young female, particularly sans clothes, the same is not really true for them when it comes to the male body. More than anything, women are turned on by whoever makes THEM feel HOT. We are more into the visual aspect, they are more into the feeling aspect. Girls that are super hot can get wet and horny just looking at themselves in the mirror. Even if they are not bisexual, they get turned on by the overall look of a great female body. So, the hotter THEY FEEL, the hornier they get. For many of them, young guys are too immature, lack ambition and don't know how to make a women feel hot, so they feel more appreciated by older men who are more sexually experienced, and thus they enjoy sex and the overall experience more.

Certainly there are women who don't fit that description, but the great thing about SA and such -- they tend to cluster the kind of girls I just described into one location, so you don't have to deal with the hot looking 35 year old cougars that chase young men.

So basically if you're feeling awkward or somehow at a disadvantage due to the age difference, you'll want to get over that first, because the age difference is exactly what a lot of these girls seek. The same physical features that make you look in the mirror and say to yourself that getting old sucks are often the same ones that make her panties wet. The one exception to that is that I think that every SD needs to focus on staying fit. I've never heard an SB say she is attracted to someone out of shape.