Massage Parlor Reports

[SteveStone123]

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

[Dboy111]

Just put him on your ignore list. He's absolutely useless; just takes and never gives unless it's bogus info he cobbled together from elsewhere.

You guys are morons everyone loves the troll. Everything I've written is true sorry for your terrible experiences no body was talking to you. I've shared great stories and thank me later when somebody shares their great experience to my question and you end up going and getting the best massage and HE of your life.

[Herow]

Dude -- The best? That's an impossible question. What are you into? Highly therapeutic with a nice happy ending from an ancient lady? Whole hour tease? Table shower? Younger ladies? 4 handed? Feather touch? This is why there's 50 Eskimo words for snow too much variety and very subjective. Narrow it down for us.

Just put him on your ignore list. He's absolutely useless; just takes and never gives unless it's bogus info he cobbled together from elsewhere.

[Jack617]

Dude -- The best? That's an impossible question. What are you into? Highly therapeutic with a nice happy ending from an ancient lady? Whole hour tease? Table shower? Younger ladies? 4 handed? Feather touch? This is why there's 50 Eskimo words for snow too much variety and very subjective. Narrow it down for us.

Why do you guys keep feeding the troll? Even on ignore I have to see his retarded ISO posts when you guys respond. Open his profile and read the posts, 90% are redundant questions about busty asians and his "reviews" are, to be kind, suspect. To quote a great line " Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it".

Gents, stop the replies and you stop the madness.

[YoloGent]

You can probably get that but your tip would have to be higher, my guess over 60. Use a translation app on your phone before you pay house fee to clarify what you want and how much you will tip. Best of Luck.

Try cherry blossom in Waltham. Angela is hottest.

[Appollo101]

Has anyone been to Chi body works lately? I use to see Angela all the time there but she left and started her own spa. Who give a decent and message and easy on the eyes over there?

[Dboy111]

Dude -- The best? That's an impossible question. What are you into? Highly therapeutic with a nice happy ending from an ancient lady? Whole hour tease? Table shower? Younger ladies? 4 handed? Feather touch? This is why there's 50 Eskimo words for snow too much variety and very subjective. Narrow it down for us.

Haha I'm just looking for a solid place to go to in the Boston area. Whole hour tease would be cool never had that, good looking, young, nice bodies. Any suggestions or recommendations? Looking for Busty in the Boston area but that's hard to find. Anything else would do I'm sick of the ancient ladies looking for something good if anybody knows.

[Tiger1113]

Good afternoon gents!

Will be in Boston next week for couple of days. Looking for outcall service maybe a massage and BBJ. Preferably Asian young and fun. Any suggestions would be very appreciated.

[Chuggo]

Could someone give me the best Asian place in the Boston area, I'm going to check one out this week, really in need of a massage. Any recommendations for good places in Boston or is Boston dried up now? I'll leave my review after as always. Thanks.

Dude -- The best? That's an impossible question. What are you into? Highly therapeutic with a nice happy ending from an ancient lady? Whole hour tease? Table shower? Younger ladies? 4 handed? Feather touch? This is why there's 50 Eskimo words for snow too much variety and very subjective. Narrow it down for us.

[Ccup2]

I thought Fayette was always a no go. Am I wrong?

Just bc someone is flirty does not mean there are extras to be had. Place is always a no.

[Dboy111]

Could someone give me the best Asian place in the Boston area, I'm going to check one out this week, really in need of a massage. Any recommendations for good places in Boston or is Boston dried up now? I'll leave my review after as always. Thanks.

[SirPsychoSexy]

I didn't stay because of her incoming appointment but I definetly got a vibe from Loni. She was very flirty and gave me "the look" when I asked if would enjoy my visit. I may try to go back later this week but it's a little out of the way.

SPS.

I thought Fayette was always a no go. Am I wrong?

[Rito1]

I dropped in to an oldie on Fayette but she had an appointment coming in 5 minutes. I think she said her name was Loni. Kind of average looking but had a milf vibe I was digging. I may go back. After that I drive up the street to 299. Hit the 2nd floor looking for Lilly but she not around. Then, hit the first floor and took 30 with CiCi. Not a looker but always a good time.

SPS.

I thought Fayette was always a no go. Am I wrong?

[SirPsychoSexy]

I dropped in to an oldie on Fayette but she had an appointment coming in 5 minutes. I think she said her name was Loni. Kind of average looking but had a milf vibe I was digging. I may go back. After that I drive up the street to 299. Hit the 2nd floor looking for Lilly but she not around. Then, hit the first floor and took 30 with CiCi. Not a looker but always a good time.

SPS.

Where you going to celebrate? Aren't they all closed for a few days?

[JohnBoy69]

I think today marks the beginning of Chinese New Year. Year of the Rooster. I may venture out today and celebrate my cock!

SPS.

Where you going to celebrate? Aren't they all closed for a few days?