Thread: Rants Opinions and Totally Pointless Bullshit
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03-04-16 18:27 #300Senior Member

Posts: 93When you overfilled her belly with monster monger meat, those dainty gas bubbles had nowhere else to go. Your fault for being a stallion, dude.
GROSS OUT ALERT: STOP READING NOW!. . . Ever stick your digit in a cute little browneye, only to discover a solid but sticky barrier to your progress? I recommend pushing the intruder back up where it came from, the lady will think she's being probed with one of those fancy dildo jobbies. Afterward show her the tainted finger of glory to prove a job well done. Then FLY to the sink and the antiseptic soap.
-Jeepster1.
Thanks Jeeps, the whole stallion thing, yea I get that from the ladies all the time LOL. Also, "the tainted finger of glory" now that is priceless. I'm going to add that one to my repertoire of lady pleasing moves.
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03-04-16 00:04 #299Senior Member

Posts: 136I well be Damnd
That is some of the funniest stuff I ever heard LOL, Thanks!
Originally Posted by CanDoForU
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03-03-16 23:23 #298Senior Member

Posts: 136Good lawd
Thanks for the stop Reading warning, glad I don't have much discipline hahaha. You are one sick lad son! Fancy Dan Dildo Jobs, LMMFAO!
Originally Posted by Jeepster1
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03-03-16 20:44 #297Senior Member

Posts: 2316Panic in Detroit!
When you overfilled her belly with monster monger meat, those dainty gas bubbles had nowhere else to go. Your fault for being a stallion, dude.
Originally Posted by CanDoForU
[View Original Post]
GROSS OUT ALERT: STOP READING NOW!. . . Ever stick your digit in a cute little browneye, only to discover a solid but sticky barrier to your progress? I recommend pushing the intruder back up where it came from, the lady will think she's being probed with one of those fancy dildo jobbies. Afterward show her the tainted finger of glory to prove a job well done. Then FLY to the sink and the antiseptic soap.
-Jeepster1.
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03-03-16 11:47 #296Senior Member

Posts: 93One Night in Detroit
Only now am I able to discuss this without having painful flashbacks. About three years ago I was on on a business trip in Detroit. Alone in my hotel room the little guy was becoming restless. I opened the local BP and decided to do some shopping. As I was scrolling through the ads there she was. The "Kissing Grandma". Due to the fact that I am truly a dog with a questionable (being kind to myself) moral compass my bucket list did contain nailing an old woman. Lucky me an opportunity had presented itself. I called and much to my surprise she was available for outcall. Perfect I thought, until she arrived at my door. When I opened the door she was standing there dressed nicely and older than her online pic, I'd say somewhere north of 65. She came into the room and we chatted a bit. She seemed a little nervous. Then she started to undress. At that time I turned to flip the safety latch on my hotel door. That's when it happened. I remembered hearing three large pops. I then thought, is this how it ends. Me in a hotel room with a call girl, my Johnson out and in full glory mode, that awful sound, the smell of death in the air. Yes, it's true, she had just farted and I had to make a decision about what I was going to do next. If I had known the woman, I would have played this differently. I would have just thought ok, game on. I'm pretty confident in my abilities and quite respected as a formidable opponent in Dutch oven circles. But I didn't know her and honestly I was taken aback. I decided to handle the situation like the true gentleman (again being kind) that I am and pretend it never happened. * The night progressed. One thing led to another and I found myself driving it home k9 style. Then it happened again. This time instead of a popping sound it was a faint wisp of wind. Maybe I'm imagining things, maybe she's getting into my head. *She would not fart right on me or would she? *Without breaking stride I kept going. After about 5 more seconds the scent left no doubt that my worst fears have been realized. What should I do? *I could of spanked her right there and then. Then again maybe that would make the problem worse. Still solid as a rock, I was not going to let these events detour me from my objective. I have faced adversity before and this is not adversity. When the going gets tough, well you know. Yet still I did not want her to be embarrassed (just me thinking of others in my time of need). I quickly deducted that the k9 may not be the best position during these circumstances. We switched to BBBJ. Still fixated on my goal I asked her to stick her finger in my ass. I typically am not a big fan but I needed to quickly switch things up to stay focused. She commented, "ok, not sure what everyone's fascination with the butt is all about these days" she then complied and continued without an up charge. Regaining my focus, It happened once more. *This time she acknowledged the problem and stated,"sorry, just a little popcorn gas, no big deal". *Yea, easy for her to say. I've had gas from popcorn before and it did not smell like this. This was gas from like a turkey dinner, corned beef and cabbage, maybe a bad egg roll. I don't know but it was not popcorn. *I started thinking, this is bullshit. What the hell is wrong with this woman? *Has she no class at all? *I can understand once maybe twice, hell we are all human but this is getting ridiculous. Shit, I was beginning to lose my troops. My focus was fading, the little guy felt like he was starting to throw in the towel. Damn, I can usually get a second wind. Not this time. Although I won a few of the battles along the way, I had lost the war. I graciously accepted the defeat. I also ended our time early. First time I was responsible for doing that. No tip for this one. *.
I have often thought since that encounter, why me? *Did I say something that pissed her off? *Was this some sort of game for her? *Why did this not seem to bother her as much as it did me? *Was she ill? *If so, why was she working tonight? *Who knows. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. This is a true story and I have been unable to tell anyone since it happened. Am I alone? *Has this happened to anyone else? *Anyway, if tagging an old bird is still on your bucket list, I hope I did not ruin it for you. If you are still committed, you could take a trip to Detroit. I really can't believe it but this woman is still working the circuit. I looked her up in the Detroit BP last night. If interested, search "kissing grandma", not "farting grandma". *.
Remember boys, play safe. When you call to set up your next appointment, you may want to ask what she had for dinner. Just saying.
CDFU.
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03-02-16 23:23 #295Senior Member

Posts: 136HMMM interesting
Do they have 8 months ripeness. You silly son of a buck you, Mercy!
Originally Posted by Jeepster1
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03-01-16 17:31 #294Senior Member

Posts: 1656My Woman
LOL You could not afford, and she is all mine bought and paid for. I never said she was free no woman ever is but she is well worth it.
Originally Posted by MittRomney
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02-29-16 13:39 #293Senior Member

Posts: 1656Makes no sense to me
Seems to me after reading these posts for a month or so that a large portion of these girls are either unreliable, strung out, thieves or just lousy at sex very few seem to be people you can trolley count on from what I can tell like Kendraa and Ashley in Lebanon. Here is my advice and what I do I treat my wife great and like the lady I love we have out to dinner date night every Friday night and wonderful safe love making sex with no rules all week end long and I do mean wonderful no rules sex.
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01-07-16 11:48 #292Senior Member

Posts: 109This Sheriff is a real scumbag. Here is a link to an expanded article. I am tempted to follow the election cycle and make an anonymous contribution to whoever runs against him.
Originally Posted by MrChooShoes
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https://reason.com/blog/2015/12/15/p...-shame-polk-co
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01-06-16 17:07 #291Senior Member

Posts: 36Interesting, to say the least. Not my cup of tea LOL.
Originally Posted by Jeepster1
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12-20-15 22:44 #290

Posts: 459Like Button
Stunning, yes please.
Originally Posted by Jeepster1
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12-20-15 22:18 #289Senior Member

Posts: 2316Bucket List
The only scenario left on my bucket list was a pretty dwarf.
That is, until I stumbled upon a new unicorn type:
Russian Albinos!
https://www.google.com/search?q=nastya+zhidkova
-Jeepster1.
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12-20-15 22:11 #288Senior Member

Posts: 2316Oh, the shame
When you get down to it, LEO relies primarily on the threat of public shaming in its enforcement methodology. Sure, they have the draconian "promoting" laws that are increasingly misapplied to the individuals on the supply side, but on the demand side the threat is almost entirely that of public exposure. Nobody wants to be on the mugshot list.
Originally Posted by MrChooShoes
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It's unfortunate that the Puritans settled here instead of finding a nice safe haven somewhere in Europe.
-Jeepster1.
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12-19-15 09:01 #287Senior Member

Posts: 107Stings in Florida. Public Shaming
Man in Maid Costume Arrested During Prostitution Sting.
The story of David Marsh has all the makings of a good WTF Florida story. He answered an ad placed online by what he thought was a prostitute. He hoped she would dominate him. He agreed to meet at a hotel and rode his bicycle there (he travels by bike because of a previous DUI). When he showed up, he took off his outer layer of clothing to reveal a French maid outfit and a dog collar. Underneath his apron was some sort of male chastity belt. Turns out, however, the prostitute was an undercover deputy, and Marsh was arrested.
Naturally, it made headlines, and the incident has gone viral for obvious reasons.
The arrest was part of a wider prostitution sting in which the Polk County Sheriff's Office arrested 95 people and publicly shamed every single one. Dubbed "Operation Naughty or Nice," the five-day sting netted 33 johns, 50 prostitutes, and 12 people who were arrested on other charges.
Sheriff Grady Judd seems to take a bit too much glee in publicly shaming those arrested, though. The amount of public assistance that arrestees received, their job titles, and marital status were collected and disseminated to the public. Many, it seems, had turned to prostitution just to get by. The Polk County Sheriff's Office might also need some sensitivity training. The department refers to multiple arrestees as "transgender," while others are classified as "transvestite. " The news release is kind of a sad document to read.
These prostitution stings seem to be a regular hobby of many smaller county sheriff's departments in Florida. This sting is at least Polk County's third of the year. Yet the county still seems to have plenty of people engaging in prostitution. Larger Florida law enforcement offices tend to forgo such tactics and concentrate on going after sex-trafficking rings and violent pimps.
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08-16-15 13:49 #286Senior Member

Posts: 2316Probably right
We do have a newish D-A. With a new mayor possibly a shift in priorities might occur.
Originally Posted by Hankishere
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But if the enforcement choices are left up to MNPD brass then the status quo is probably assured.
Ever notice you never hear much about conventioneers getting busted? Maybe they're just extra-smart.
-Jeepster1.











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