"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JZLizard]

I understand that she has the current address. Now that she has it, he is eternally screwed so long as he lives at that address. The SB will always have leverage so long as he wants to be with his SO. Even years later, if she needs fast cash, he is always extortion bait.

This is why I suggessted moving to a new address. If he moves and she doesn't have the new address, she can't find him without going to more extreme options.

I think you're saying if he moves to another county. Well that in itself is a very extreme and costly option, especially since he would probably be sitting in a house with a For Sale sign out in front for potentially months, putting pressure on the SB to hurry up and get up the courage to act. And then, after all of the time and expense to move, if she's really lost she can spend a few bucks to hire a detective to find him in five minutes.

If he rented instead of bought, and didn't register vehicles and such in the new county, it might slow down the efforts a little bit but that's about it.

[IluvSmellyFish]

I understand that she has the current address. Now that she has it, he is eternally screwed so long as he lives at that address. The SB will always have leverage so long as he wants to be with his SO. Even years later, if she needs fast cash, he is always extortion bait.

This is why I suggessted moving to a new address. If he moves and she doesn't have the new address, she can't find him without going to more extreme options.

She already knows his address, that's the point. He made that part really easy for her. Even if he hadn't, the fact that he rented a place for her made it possible for her to find his address.

[JZLizard]

Friend just left me a voicemail. He impulsively has just met with SB and did his best breakdown and described a sad life to her with his SO. Explained to her that he was never supposed to fall in love with her, but he did, fed her a plethora of compliments. She first got in his face and screamed, "you played me, I will fucking ruin you, I loved you, you were my life love, I dreamed of you every day, I will not rest until I have destroyed you. You are the fifth man in a row who played me like this. " She got in her car and left and then ten minutes later came back crying her eyes out and said she would not ruin his life. He offered her a check for $2500 and she refused it, said she only wanted his love etc. She asked him to promise to still try with her and to eventually leave his wife.

He also played a card, that she had told him, if he had a serious girlfriend, or SO, she did not want to know about it. But that was when they first met, things changed. Lots of lies in the mix on his part, big time lies, but it seems she might understand. If this girl holds true and is not just caught up in her current emotional state and does not ruin his life, I would say he might have himself a real gem. Most girls are not that loyal. I still think once reality and her jealousy sets in, she shows up at his door. He played his hand, now he can live with it. I tried!

He's in deeper than ever now. The one silver lining is that she said this is like the fifth time. So by now, she is either a serial extortionist or she has learned how to cope. Being one or the other never guarantees she won't fuck him up with the SO, but of course the coper is preferable.

[JZLizard]

If the SD was smart enough to keep the new address from the stalker SB, how would she know what county to search in?

She already knows his address, that's the point. He made that part really easy for her. Even if he hadn't, the fact that he rented a place for her made it possible for her to find his address.

[IluvSmellyFish]

If the SD was smart enough to keep the new address from the stalker SB, how would she know what county to search in?

And yes, if she really wanted to find him, she wouldn't need the internet. But that applies to all of us. Regardless of how careful we may be.

gotta agree here...Involving more people only has the potential to complicate things.

Go to your county website and do a real property lookup. All you need is someone's last name. Not all counties make it easy but most do. For the ones that don't, I can often hack in. She probably knows someone who can find out.

Or has a hundred bucks to an private investigator.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Friend just left me a voicemail. He impulsively has just met with SB and did his best breakdown and described a sad life to her with his SO. Explained to her that he was never supposed to fall in love with her, but he did, fed her a plethora of compliments. She first got in his face and screamed, "you played me, I will fucking ruin you, I loved you, you were my life love, I dreamed of you every day, I will not rest until I have destroyed you. You are the fifth man in a row who played me like this. " She got in her car and left and then ten minutes later came back crying her eyes out and said she would not ruin his life. He offered her a check for $2500 and she refused it, said she only wanted his love etc. She asked him to promise to still try with her and to eventually leave his wife.

He also played a card, that she had told him, if he had a serious girlfriend, or SO, she did not want to know about it. But that was when they first met, things changed. Lots of lies in the mix on his part, big time lies, but it seems she might understand. If this girl holds true and is not just caught up in her current emotional state and does not ruin his life, I would say he might have himself a real gem. Most girls are not that loyal. I still think once reality and her jealousy sets in, she shows up at his door. He played his hand, now he can live with it. I tried!

[JZLizard]

Danger zone. Females often decide to "bond" in this situation. -JL "See The Other Woman" now on cable TV Exactly that!

I had to look this up after you mentioned it. Very appropriate reference! LOL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDcaZ3StTfI

Man, I can remember back when Cameron Diaz still looked good. I'd still fuck her but might need a burlap bag and a lot of beer.

[JZLizard]

Involving more people only has the potential to complicate things.

Yep. More moving parts = more opportunity for failure.

[JZLizard]

I just did an internet search on me, my address etc. Nothing came up. Linking the two.

Go to your county website and do a real property lookup. All you need is someone's last name. Not all counties make it easy but most do. For the ones that don't, I can often hack in. She probably knows someone who can find out.

Or has a hundred bucks to an private investigator.

[IluvSmellyFish]

gotta agree here...Involving more people only has the potential to complicate things.

Not only that, but the plan of casting for the role of wife assumes the selected person has a reasonable level of acting skills. Most people can act if they are doing something to save their own ass, but to play a good acting role on someone else's behalf is something not many people do well. Plus, it still assumes that the SB doesn't go to the house while the wife is in town at some point. All she has to do is park her car outside the home to see what the wife looks like for fucks sake. They almost always do this. She's probably already done this.

[IluvSmellyFish]

I just did an internet search on me, my address etc. Nothing came up. Linking the two.

Some records are of course publically available, but tracking them down and going throuh all the hassle would normally reuquire legal assistance or the assistance of a private investigator.

The reality is, if a SB wants to find you, she can find you even if she has none of your personal info. She can have a girlfriend tail you after a session in the FC, etc.

Long story short. Try to avoid crazy and give out as little personal info as possible. But the reality is, playing in the bowl is dangerous if you have a SO and / or a career that isn't going to look favorably on the lifestyle. The only foolproof way to completely prevent it is not to play in the bowl.

[JZLizard]

Danger zone. Females often decide to "bond" in this situation. -JL "See The Other Woman" now on cable TV Exactly that!

He is going to have to take some action because both these women have an upper hand. The risk of exposure for the SB is a very real threat, both drugs and escorting. A conversation with the parents and place of employment could rock her world. I wouldn't recommend putting a shill ahead of things acting as the wife. SB might accept that challenge and insert herself into the battle.

Not only that, but the plan of casting for the role of wife assumes the selected person has a reasonable level of acting skills. Most people can act if they are doing something to save their own ass, but to play a good acting role on someone else's behalf is something not many people do well. Plus, it still assumes that the SB doesn't go to the house while the wife is in town at some point. All she has to do is park her car outside the home to see what the wife looks like for fucks sake. They almost always do this. She's probably already done this.

[IluvSmellyFish]

If he feels the need to come clean with the SO, he should start with first bringing up the issues that led him to wander in the first place. Bringing up the SB relationship makes him lose complete control. Bringing up his concerns he has about the relationship with the SO, but not talking about the SB puts him in the drivers seat.

Maybe it is time to get a divorce, and if he can avoid discussing the arrangement / affair then he will likely be in a better position when it comes time to divvy up the finances. He will of course need to consult with an attorney in his state, but if they both feel the marraige is dead, maybe he can convince the SO to agree to a mutual consent divorce and amicably divide things up. If he comes clean to his SO about the affair / SB, he will need to check with a divorce attorney, but chances are that he will end up in a worse position when division of finances comes up.

[FredMoore]

Danger zone. Females often decide to "bond" in this situation. -JL "See The Other Woman" now on cable TV Exactly that!

He is going to have to take some action because both these women have an upper hand. The risk of exposure for the SB is a very real threat, both drugs and escorting. A conversation with the parents and place of employment could rock her world. I wouldn't recommend putting a shill ahead of things acting as the wife. SB might accept that challenge and insert herself into the battle.

[JZLizard]

This is why I stated a tweak or two is in order. One of my friends hot woman friends, will play the part and they will meet. She will be sympathetic, but firm over SB's submissive nature and play a "motherly" talk down, "how dare you, grow up, if he or I see you again, this will happen" role.

My friend is at a point where he's already visualizing himself alone, living in a cabin, poor, with an old dog. He's got a lot of resentment built up towards his SO and in some twisted way, he feels like she deserves it. The woman was sexless throughout most of their 20 and 30's and while she worked hard and was always there, she was a cold and distant wife big time. I'd have cheated on her hundreds of times if she was my SO.

I would have left her on the legal grounds of no sex (alienation of affection or whatever). This would have enabled me to fuck all the women I wanted, guilt free and alimony free. Perhaps even letting the wife help finance my hobby as the court would be working on my behalf instead of hers.

Having someone impersonate the wife is back to complicated plans that are almost sure to fail.