"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Walruscl]

For you new guys to the forum, a short history. I'm not in this for the play-the-numbers approach to have my dance card lined up with as much pussy as I have time for. I'm just a father of two schoolchildren with a successful career and a stressful-as-all-hell homelife. Early in my hunt I found what turned out to be an ideal situation for both me and my SB. I wanted someone I could connect to, not just fuck, and she also wanted compatibility in addition to financial assistance and quickly discovered the fringe benefits of an older (50 ish) man. See HG's post below on that topic.

Over the past 18 mos we've become close, I treat her as a combination of princess, daughter-I-never-had (ick factor aside), and young person to mentor. If anything, she has the much stronger need for frequent sex than do I, as I'm finding out. (not that I complain about hours of attention to the little head, even if he's not going to do much besides stay hard, wet, and happily well looked-after).

Lately her financial and living situation have become much less desperate, and she only wants me to help out on an as-needed basis (we stopped pay-for-play last summer when I had to bail her out of a couple of dire circumstances). At this point I'm pretty sure she sees me as a boyfriend who has the resources to help her out when she is in need, but without all the usual BF / GF crap. Long run that may become a liability, but I'm watching it.

So, all that said, I'm basically getting 3-4 hours a week of sex on the side with a spinner hardbody, who's mission in life is to please me, and have as many orgasms along the way as she can. As others have pointed out, SO's simply cannot compete against this. Besides physical attractiveness, they came of age in a very different time. So while it's been clear for a looong time that I've not been satisfied with the sex life, and the SO doesn't seem to have a clue on how to fix this, I've kept up a token sex life. Since finding the SB I've dialed it back to be sure (another no-no according to the wisdom here), but I don't refuse the extremely rare offer, and occasionally will attempt to initiate.

So, with all that said, tonight I decide to see if she'll pick up on increasingly obvious cues. Nope, totally oblivious. When I finally make an unambiguous move, it was: "sorry, tonight's not the right time". So, yeah, ok, it was late. I told her it was fine-don't worry about it. She then spent 5-10 minutes talking about how it wasn't fine yadda yadda yadda.

Now in this house, SO sex lasts maybe five minutes. If she could have simply conjured up images of me as Tom Cruise to get wet, it would have been faster just to do it than get into a conflict that lasted twice as long. She might have even enjoyed herself.

What don't they get about this? I really don't understand.

But hey, no worries. My SB's last exam is Tuesday, so Wednesday is looking reaaaallly promising.

[JZLizard]

The sugar that is. I guess my post wasn't clear. What I was trying to convey was that my current approach is situational and dependent on the facts.

I think its always expected though. As Hollywood Guy previously posted, the sugar is a big part of what gets an SB into the FC the first time.

Looking back, I scanned your post too fast and misunderstood it. Sorry about that, I've been in overdrive today trying to get lots done and sometimes read too quickly when I'm in that mode.

[IluvSmellyFish]

I don't know if I would confuse lack of discussion of sugar as lack of expectation of it on their part.

I'm probably not the only SD out there who never discusses money. I just give them some amount I deem appropriate after fucking them silly, based on how much I enjoyed myself and how much I spent overall thus far on the date for things like food. So far they've never complained about the amount.

The sugar that is. I guess my post wasn't clear. What I was trying to convey was that my current approach is situational and dependent on the facts.

I think its always expected though. As Hollywood Guy previously posted, the sugar is a big part of what gets an SB into the FC the first time.

[Jjjchar]

Guys, if you don't mind. Please give the meaning of POT and M&G. Thanks.

[JZLizard]

Had two m&gs today. Neither asked for any money. The first one I met, I gave her a very nominal amount after we established the arrangement, date and time for the FC. The other didn't ask, and so I didn't offer.

Also, thanks to HG for posting the link. After a quick read, it sounds like there are some real crazies out here. The comments on that page makes me feel badly for the young niave ladies out there.

I don't know if I would confuse lack of discussion of sugar as lack of expectation of it on their part.

I'm probably not the only SD out there who never discusses money. I just give them some amount I deem appropriate after fucking them silly, based on how much I enjoyed myself and how much I spent overall thus far on the date for things like food. So far they've never complained about the amount.

[TravelinSD]

Something to keep in mind is that the hot, smart, accomplished ladies you want to meet are the same ones the rest of us would like to meet. She was probably getting tons of messages and probably communicating with multiple prospects (hmmm, same as us, LOL) Most likely she found someone that could satisfy her financial needs sooner and / or better. As has been mentioned by several other members, this is a numbers game. It all comes down to being persistent and in the right spot at the right time.

Good Hunting,

Travelin.

Last month, I was talking to this POT who was someone I was really looking forward to meeting, but every time we made plans to meet, she became too busy and we had to reschedule. That went on for a couple of weeks and then she went radio silent, which I was fine with. I was already starting to think she would never go through with meeting anyway.

So then a few days ago she texts me out of the blue, asking if I was still interested in meeting her. I made a comment that our schedules don't seem to be working out, but she assures me that she would be free to see me this weekend. She says that she is in a bad spot and is hoping I could see her a few times this week. I'm cautiously optimistic. So I text her on Saturday to see what her schedule is like. I get a very, very brief response and that's it. I already see where this is going, but I text her again on Sunday to see if we're still meeting up. She explains she's too busy with homework.

Ah, the mindset of some of these girls. They text you, explain they are in a bad situation and even give you a day when they will certainly be free to see you, then they're too busy to see you on that day.

What's remarkable is that I have another POT who keeps pulling this exact same stunt! She texts me and tells me she really needs money and would like to see me soon. So we set up a day, and then she goes radio silent on that day or is too busy to meet.

[FredMoore]

Well brothers, I have to say I am coming in as a rookie inspite of my years of Sugaring.

I am focusing on 18-20 yr olds and it is not working out for me. Here is the sad tale of woe.

Pot #1.

19 yr old 9. 5 gone. Flaked on the M&G because I am married and she just can't"do that" . She also put no sex on her Profile. Good luck with that.

Pot #2.

19 yr old 8/8.

Flaked the M&G and went dark. Turns out she is FB friends with another coed who doesn't do sex.

SB #1 (ex).

I reported was extremely reliable at 1. 5. Went dark afte 6 mos and finally reporteds that she had found the love of her life. WTF?? I suppose that means she got a bigger allowance from another competitor. Interestingly, I was looking for a backup since I needed some variety. So now I am without any.

I will keep trying these youngsters but a lot of them are stating no sex and no married. But just give me monay and I will look cute on your arm.

Prepay for M&G? Never happen except for expenses.

Pot #3.

Elderly 40 something but looks fantastic on her profile pic. I suspect she will be GPS but I can't nail her down to talk to her.

These are dark hours. I need to get laid something awful so I have to ramp up my game.

[Rouleur]

Last month, I was talking to this POT who was someone I was really looking forward to meeting, but every time we made plans to meet, she became too busy and we had to reschedule. That went on for a couple of weeks and then she went radio silent, which I was fine with. I was already starting to think she would never go through with meeting anyway.

So then a few days ago she texts me out of the blue, asking if I was still interested in meeting her. I made a comment that our schedules don't seem to be working out, but she assures me that she would be free to see me this weekend. She says that she is in a bad spot and is hoping I could see her a few times this week. I'm cautiously optimistic. So I text her on Saturday to see what her schedule is like. I get a very, very brief response and that's it. I already see where this is going, but I text her again on Sunday to see if we're still meeting up. She explains she's too busy with homework.

Ah, the mindset of some of these girls. They text you, explain they are in a bad situation and even give you a day when they will certainly be free to see you, then they're too busy to see you on that day.

What's remarkable is that I have another POT who keeps pulling this exact same stunt! She texts me and tells me she really needs money and would like to see me soon. So we set up a day, and then she goes radio silent on that day or is too busy to meet.

Your POTs are probably putting out many feelers to various SD's and by the time your "date" rolls around they have the money they needed in hand. My favourites are the POT's that begin asking for "emergency money" before we even meet! That always sounds like the beginning of a satisfying relationship.

[IluvSmellyFish]

Last month, I was talking to this POT who was someone I was really looking forward to meeting, but every time we made plans to meet, she became too busy and we had to reschedule. That went on for a couple of weeks and then she went radio silent, which I was fine with.

What's remarkable is that I have another POT who keeps pulling this exact same stunt! She texts me and tells me she really needs money and would like to see me soon. So we set up a day, and then she goes radio silent on that day or is too busy to meet.

I had the same thing with a pot who is desperately trying to move from Richmond and who was asking me to pay for a room at the Willard (I politely declined). I am in town for the weekend so we made plans for an early morning m&g. She goes dark and then I get a text saying her father ended up in the hospital. I suspect the more likely story is that she was busy in the FC with one of you.

[Almighty]

Early in my days of sugaring, I would give a POT some money for coming to a M&G, especially if an arrangement is all but certain. I don't do that anymore, though if a POT has driven a fair distance to come to the M&G, I'll give her some gas money.

Her profile says she is new at this and whatnot and has never done it before, and is fairly new on the site. So I'm just thinking its a variation of the GPS. Like GTS or something (Golden Time Syndrome). I mean, her "time" is so valuable that she can't eat a free meal, and talk for half an hour / hour? Seriously? With the potential to secure addtional, more "valuable" meetings? She needs 50 bucks to sit / eat / talk? Even though the options can be a bit limited in my area, I'm not that desperate.

[IluvSmellyFish]

So, do any of you pay "just" for the m&g? I pay for the dinner, but IMO, if they want a fee for "just" meeting for dinner, to discuss future arrangements, it's a scam. Just "give me money, I'll eat and then leave" is what she's thinking. I had one that wanted 50 bucks just to meet. I balked at that.

Had two m&gs today. Neither asked for any money. The first one I met, I gave her a very nominal amount after we established the arrangement, date and time for the FC. The other didn't ask, and so I didn't offer.

Also, thanks to HG for posting the link. After a quick read, it sounds like there are some real crazies out here. The comments on that page makes me feel badly for the young niave ladies out there.

[FotoGuy1970]

Last month, I was talking to this POT who was someone I was really looking forward to meeting, but every time we made plans to meet, she became too busy and we had to reschedule. That went on for a couple of weeks and then she went radio silent, which I was fine with. I was already starting to think she would never go through with meeting anyway.

So then a few days ago she texts me out of the blue, asking if I was still interested in meeting her. I made a comment that our schedules don't seem to be working out, but she assures me that she would be free to see me this weekend. She says that she is in a bad spot and is hoping I could see her a few times this week. I'm cautiously optimistic. So I text her on Saturday to see what her schedule is like. I get a very, very brief response and that's it. I already see where this is going, but I text her again on Sunday to see if we're still meeting up. She explains she's too busy with homework.

Ah, the mindset of some of these girls. They text you, explain they are in a bad situation and even give you a day when they will certainly be free to see you, then they're too busy to see you on that day.

What's remarkable is that I have another POT who keeps pulling this exact same stunt! She texts me and tells me she really needs money and would like to see me soon. So we set up a day, and then she goes radio silent on that day or is too busy to meet.

[FotoGuy1970]

So, do any of you pay "just" for the m&g? I pay for the dinner, but IMO, if they want a fee for "just" meeting for dinner, to discuss future arrangements, it's a scam. Just "give me money, I'll eat and then leave" is what she's thinking. I had one that wanted 50 bucks just to meet. I balked at that.

Early in my days of sugaring, I would give a POT some money for coming to a M&G, especially if an arrangement is all but certain. I don't do that anymore, though if a POT has driven a fair distance to come to the M&G, I'll give her some gas money.

[Almighty]

So, do any of you pay "just" for the m&g? I pay for the dinner, but IMO, if they want a fee for "just" meeting for dinner, to discuss future arrangements, it's a scam. Just "give me money, I'll eat and then leave" is what she's thinking. I had one that wanted 50 bucks just to meet. I balked at that.

[SlowMo]

Gents,

Another interesting week in the bowl. It had its fair share of flakes not worth discussing here except for perhaps one. This "Alexa" who had gone silent a month ago drops me a SA message telling me that she's free today if I'd like to meet her. Being genuinely busy, I cannot generally turn on a dime like that and told her. Also, in the past she's had a habit of having last minute conditions like wanting more detailed pictures as I'm about to jump in the car. Moreover, I noticed her profile's expectation range ratcheted up a few notches. Anyway, I presented her with two other options to meet and she has gone dormant yet again. Should she resurface I'll simply offer $x for why and see. She's obviously not a planner.

The real interesting part of my week is what happened next. A new POT reached out to me and quickly became suggestive and witty via messages. We setup a time for M&G. I always ask for a txt confirmation 90 min prior so that I can pivot if they flake out and sure enough she missed my deadline. I was going to pass, but poked her anyway via txt. Glad I did as she was getting ready. Had to provide her lots of directions but she made it to the bar / restaurant about 15 min late, which all things considered isn't bad for a 21 yr old (5'4", 120 lbs, ebony, see cups, MILF, nice face). Pretty good conversation ensued, and a thorough sampling of the cocktail menu too (3 each in 90 min). Having finally had enough I suggested we go sit in my car so we can have a more private conversation. Well gents, she wasted no time taking charge. We went from gentle make out to her straddling me on the driver's seat. Now you need to appreciate that I drive a compact sports sedan stick shift with highly bolstered seats, so it's not like there's any place to turn around. Well, she pulled me in the backseat where there's even less space due to crap I had back there and the driveshaft tunnel. At that very moment we negotiated $$ per session, which seems to be the low end of what girls will entertain in Boston. It got a smidgen weird when the car to one side left as she had her pants off and my face in her muff, but what can you do? About an hour into it she amped up her display of satisfaction. That's exactly when I made a mistake I haven't made in years.

See, with Pros you get a sense for when your time is over and you're about to get the "are you close?" question. For whatever reason, I took her signs as encouragement to get it over with, so I did. She picked up on that and then moaned "Oh no, no no no no. " In that split second I realized my mistake and the bad habits I've formed by hanging out with the wrong crowd. I forged ahead with a dogged determination for another 10 min or so, but after cumming, and pumping away with one foot on the center console and the other on the passenger head rest, while being in a single arm plank position I just needed a damn break which put an end to the proceedings. Most fun I've had in a long time with three quarters of my clothes on. While we were fogging up the windows, the car on the other side apparently left too without drama. If they took pictures, at least they did so without a flash.

Should we meet again, I'll be sure to get a room so that I don't need to have my head lower than my hips if I want to DATY (head rush). And she'll get my more traditional 'til-you-can't-walk-anymore treatment. The lesson learned here is that you are better off getting the tap on the shoulder rather than taking yourself out of the game. I have no idea what I was thinking.

Live and learn.

SM.