"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[OriolesMagic]

I was wondering if anyone used regular dating sites. I think the money demands might be quite a bit less. I joined a site called Blackcrush.com. I think some of profiles are computer generated, but some of the women are average to ugly, so I'm not sure its a fake site or not. Just interested if someone has used regular dating sites.

My regular SB is 24 yr old AA. She is model hot, its hard for me to give her a number. I take her out to eat and then to a cheap hotel. I give her. 6 spending money. The sex is insanely hot, makes me wonder if she is a retired porn star. She did "internet" modelling, which I think is code word for porn, and also used to strip. She seems only moderately interested in meeting me, but is not demanding at all. I guess I'll keep things how they are.

[JZLizard]

The ones I have talked to, 30+, I actually do / did invite them to the restaurant of their choice for dinner. 4 of 6 accepted. 1, we didn't click. 2, actually closed on first date yesterday, but this won't last, she's already clingy. 3, I cancelled today. Made date for 4 today for next Tuesday. But so far I can't get the younger ones to engage enough to invite them out.

How do I differentiate the UTR pros from the real SBs? Stumbled on one today by accident, but it was not a good thing.

We've been talking for 10 days, dinner tonight planned 3 days ago to see if we are compatible / discuss terms. She messaged about an hour ago to say her BF thought she was out dancing, so she'd need to bring some cash home to cover, could I give $$$ and "oh, most of these girls want an allowance, but I get paid per meeting. " No, I'm not giving you $$$ for the privilege of taking you out for drinks and dinner at place where the bill would be $$$ too. If it's pay for play, I want to play. LOL.

I'm not sure there is a simple answer to your question of how to distinguish UTR pros from real SBs. Because if there were a clear cut test, they would have already figured it out by now and found a way to blur the test results. LOL. Expect all of these girls to be crafty like that.

Sometimes they give off very clear conversational signs, like calling you sweetie / baby / honey etc. Right off the bat. Ok, this is the same thing that almost every female service worker at a restaurant or retail store says too, does that mean they are UTR? No, but think about it for a minute. It means they've adopted a professional service mentality. Just like the grocery store clerk calls everyone sweetie that comes through the isle, an escort does the same for everyone that comes through their legs.

Do they promise to take good care of you without having met you yet? Etc. Are they in a hotel room or weekly apartment? Another red flag.

If they don't seem to ask much about you personally, but are eager to get together, it's another red flag. This one in particular is my primary gauge. I read a great deal into how they react to my photos and what sort of things they want to know about me. Some favorable signs are when they talk about having a prior monogamous SD relationship and how much they enjoyed it, if they complain about "creepy guys just looking for sex transactions", it's another favorable sign. Do they just send short texts that focus on sex acts, or are they are taking the time to type entire well-written paragraphs that are very clearly tailored to me (as opposed to stuff they have pre-prepared for bulk mailing). Do they use terms like "relationship" and say things that indicate they are looking for an older boyfriend more than just hotel room quickies? Do they care or ask about your own situation (married / SO etc)?

Those are just some things that come to mind. I think detecting them is kind of a learned skill, maybe I developed my "woman management skills" at an early age, but I think it can all be learned and it gets easier with practice. I can't always recognize the UTRs right off the bat, some of them surf a very blurry line between the two and I have been fooled before.

[HollywoodGuy]

I have been working three 19 yr olds in my area and 2 flat out want allowance without putting out. What are they thinking? Why do they think some random guy is going to give them money for being cute? There is no free lunch. I am seeing a lot more teen Pots and many have no sex on their profile. Are guys paying up?

I did a M&G with one 8/8 and she said that she needed to get "comfortable" but wasn't ruling out sex. She refused the Hotel meet # 2. Called later and needs $$ So I offered a Meet and Eat soon. Her question was "I suppose you expect sex " ? Well, Yeah what the? She is gone again. This makes me wonder if the 18 to 20 yr old market is too challenging.

One sounds promising and I M&G her soon. She is an Asian 9/9/? . . She lives with parents and we have to work around that, and she doesn't have a car. The challenge with young students certainly living at home without wheels is access and attitude. It is such a drawback not to be able to take these girls out and impress them. Very few want to book direct hotel appointments. I want to access this spinner pussy so bad I can taste it.

I find the younger ones really have no problem getting sexy PDQ. If I am going on a M&G I know most of the time it will lead to the FC. So I have to be ready for that. At this point I really don't even care what happens anymore on a first date because it happens often enough to keep me in the game. I have had UTR's turn me down and good girls go straight to the FC. I am actually done even trying to guess who will and who won't.

I just try to meet one or two new girls a week. In the beginning I was meeting 3 to 5 a week. But being more selective and having a few regulars has cut that down to banging one new one a week (i may have to meet 2 to do that) .So far I already met two this month (20 and 26) that went to the FC and one more that turned into a car date with some making out (19). After 2 dates the one i had awesome sex with (20) txted me today to say being an SB wasnt for her and she was just gonna look for a new job. The other one I wasnt in awe of (26) I believe was a very low key UTR that ventures out from time to time. This saturday I am hoping to date a fresh 18 year old and even she admits its not her first time (i will be shocked if we dont end up at a motel).

[FredMoore]

I have been working three 19 yr olds in my area and 2 flat out want allowance without putting out. What are they thinking? Why do they think some random guy is going to give them money for being cute? There is no free lunch. I am seeing a lot more teen Pots and many have no sex on their profile. Are guys paying up?

I did a M&G with one 8/8 and she said that she needed to get "comfortable" but wasn't ruling out sex. She refused the Hotel meet # 2. Called later and needs $$ So I offered a Meet and Eat soon. Her question was "I suppose you expect sex " ? Well, Yeah what the? She is gone again. This makes me wonder if the 18 to 20 yr old market is too challenging.

One sounds promising and I M&G her soon. She is an Asian 9/9/? . . She lives with parents and we have to work around that, and she doesn't have a car. The challenge with young students certainly living at home without wheels is access and attitude. It is such a drawback not to be able to take these girls out and impress them. Very few want to book direct hotel appointments. I want to access this spinner pussy so bad I can taste it.

[Minnanon]

Mongers need a safe restaurant / bar to M&G / entertain SBs.

1) How about opening one that has covered valet access with off site parking and a private dining room (s) separate from the main area? Any thoughts? Big investment / risk.

2) Another option would be an apartment or private room (s) near a decent restaurant that could provide takeout. One staff member could provide service to deliver drinks and takeout to the couple. Drinks could be BYOB. One common room could serve multiple Daddies with discrete decorating and plantings. All diners would be Mongers who populate the place by word of mouth. Small investment / risk.

The rooms would have to be in a large market such as DC, NOVA, Richmond, Chicago, etc. This could be a partnership in a target rich area.

Well, you lessen the chance that your neighbor, or your co-worker, or your wife's friends see you out. But now you are exposing a lot of SDs to SBs they are not in an arrangement with. Those like me that have public pictures / visible community profile would shy away.

Me, I mentor in a program at a local college, and another for adult women entrepreneurs. I run a professional association in my field and am a member of two more. So now that I've started into the SB world, I always have a reason to be out of the house late, and always have an excuse to be seen with strange women, even 22-year-olds. I didn't plan it that way, but food for thought for the rest of you.

[Minnanon]

As Hollywood said, multiple profiles might help you figure out what works -- although if you're new to the online thing you'll want to be careful to remember what you said to who under which profile (maybe keep a spreadsheet), and of course you shouldn't add real photos of you under either -- send those after you've made contact with them.

Also I would target the UTR pro type first, just to get the hang of it all. You don't really need any level of game, online or otherwise, to land them, so it would be a good way to practice. Intentionally avoid the ones you really want, saving them for later. Then after you feel more comfortable with the whole online thing, gravitate toward what you really want.

Make your wealth / generosity known, since that's one of your strong cards. For example offer to take them to an expensive restaurant of their choice for the M&G just to show that you're for real.

The ones I have talked to, 30+, I actually do / did invite them to the restaurant of their choice for dinner. 4 of 6 accepted. 1, we didn't click. 2, actually closed on first date yesterday, but this won't last, she's already clingy. 3, I cancelled today. Made date for 4 today for next Tuesday. But so far I can't get the younger ones to engage enough to invite them out.

How do I differentiate the UTR pros from the real SBs? Stumbled on one today by accident, but it was not a good thing.

We've been talking for 10 days, dinner tonight planned 3 days ago to see if we are compatible / discuss terms. She messaged about an hour ago to say her BF thought she was out dancing, so she'd need to bring some cash home to cover, could I give $$$ and "oh, most of these girls want an allowance, but I get paid per meeting. " No, I'm not giving you $$$ for the privilege of taking you out for drinks and dinner at place where the bill would be $$$ too. If it's pay for play, I want to play. LOL.

[FredMoore]

Mongers need a safe restaurant / bar to M&G / entertain SBs.

1) How about opening one that has covered valet access with off site parking and a private dining room (s) separate from the main area? Any thoughts? Big investment / risk.

2) Another option would be an apartment or private room (s) near a decent restaurant that could provide takeout. One staff member could provide service to deliver drinks and takeout to the couple. Drinks could be BYOB. One common room could serve multiple Daddies with discrete decorating and plantings. All diners would be Mongers who populate the place by word of mouth. Small investment / risk.

The rooms would have to be in a large market such as DC, NOVA, Richmond, Chicago, etc. This could be a partnership in a target rich area.

[Grumpyinva]

At different times, I've been into the SD / SB scene, but normally only with 1 or 2 regulars. I've gone between $ - $$ per visit, without noting any great difference in quality between the two, although at $$ it's rare (though certainly not unheard of) for one to hold out for more. (I politely wish them luck in their search, since I'm sure someone will take care of them.) My last time in the bowl was last year, when I used the CL method to good effect, when, after a couple of flakes that I promptly wrote off, I wound up with a very attractive semi-pro for some very nice $ visits, but not really in the range of warmth that I'd associate with sugar dating, and her house was unavailable because of her kids (I'd pick her up there, but we'd have to go to a local notel, for another. 5) I recently (within the last couple of months) decided to start looking again, using one of the SD sites this time, and, after the requisite mountain of unanswered emails, came up with the following results:

One (SBShortNCurvy) was amenable to $ per visit, and agreed to a meet-and-greet (I'm always up-front about not paying them just to go to dinner with me, and I tend to indicate that we won't have "private time" on our first date, so this is just a testing-the-waters to decide if we should consider more intimate meetings. As others have found, things may wind up moving directly to the FC from dinner / lunch, so I do bring along supplies, just in case, but I think it's a more easygoing meeting if there's no pressure to go further immediately.) Her pics were accurate (she was attractive enough, to my tastes, but not stunning,) she stayed in contact for random texting and calls for a few days prior to (and after) meeting, she showed up on time (actually, she was a few minutes early, and was waiting for me at the table I'd reserved,) and she dressed as I requested. She mentioned that she had been a SB for one man for the past few years, until he moved away. She lives in a nearby city, rents a room in a good neighborhood, and has a crappy job within walking distance (but doesn't have a car.) We met in a restaurant a few blocks away from her room (her choice of restaurants, and it was priced reasonably.) It seemed like everything was in place for a good outcome.

As we chatted over dinner, she would stop frequently to openly admire any of several waiters, and one busboy. She was quite vocal, and would comment about what a great ass that one had, and how she'd like to sleep with HIM, but, would then reassure me that she wouldn't, of course, because he has such a menial job. But, my goodness, doesn't he look great. I'm not a jealous sort, but that's exactly the kind of behavior I don't expect from a date, so, I knew I wasn't going to pursue this one. However, I never see a reason to not have a nice date, regardless of how unsuitable your date is, so, after dinner and a very nicely passionate makeout session nearby (during which time she told me that she was very open to my schedule whenever I could see her, but that she did have one requirement: sexual exclusivity- She didn't want me to sleep with anyone else while we were together. I thought that was crazy, since, Hello, Sugar Dating is not about monogamy, and I had been clear that I had a SO at home, but, given that I wasn't going to continue with her anyway, I said sure. Because it would be completely accurate that I would be faithful to her while we were together, for the next 30 minutes or so.) Soon after, (with another, relatively naughty make-out session outdoors,) I dropped her off at her room. I did suggest that I was open to visiting right then (since I knew I wasn't going to be following up on this, hit-it-once seemed like it would make this less of a waste of time than it had been,) but she said that she didn't want my first impression of her room to be a pigsty, so she'd be open to meeting as soon as tomorrow or the next day, anytime I wanted, since she didn't have to work until Monday morning. I asked her if my showing up at odd hours would cause problems for the owner of the house, and she said "Oh, goodness, no, they've seen me come in and out of here with dozens of guys. " Yeeeeeaaaah. Anyway, I did not return, and politely put her off for a few weeks with "sorry, busy right now" until she disappeared.

I considered that "exclusive to me" part to be one-off weirdness, since, in my (limited) past sugar experiences, no one ever put that one me as a requirement. They might mention it as a preference, of course, but not as a rule.

Next up was a girl (SBOutOfState) who advertised herself as having several months of school in the local area (her profile listed her as one state away, and she wrote me a cut-and-paste message about how she was looking for one-and-only-one SD, as she was going to be in town for a few months.) I debated responding to a generic cut and paste, but her planned location is nearby, and she was very attractive, so I wrote her back and indicated that one-and-only wasn't likely to be the case with me, but that I'd be interested in meeting her. She responded to emails very quickly. Actually a little too quickly, and promptly swamped me with multiple replies to each message. Amusingly, we had been talking for over a week before she ever visited my profile (so I didn't take her very seriously. She was clearly doing this with a lot of guys.) She never seemed to recall my schedule, and would email me things like "I'll be in town tomorrow! Can you come see me in the evening?" ignoring / forgetting my stated availability of daytime-only, at that time. I decided to pass. Too clearly pro, and not enough planning on when she'd be in the area for me to actually set up some time to see her.

Happily, a new girl turned up on the site (SBCrazyLatina,) and I emailed her almost as soon as her profile was up. She seemed very sweet, responded promptly, actually read my profile, and replied quickly when I sent her my pics via regular email. She lives over an hour away, in a city my work requires me to visit regularly, and, in fact, I was going to be stuck there for the next week, so I let her know via email that I'd be available for lunch Tuesday, and in town the rest of the week, if she'd like to meet to say Hello,. She said yes, she was looking forward to it, and I told her we'd hash out time and location shortly. The very next morning, she emailed me with a tale of woe. She was behind on her rent, and was about to be kicked out of her apartment! Her rent was only $350, but any help would be appreciated. Could I please WIRE her the funds, and she certainly apologized for imposing with this request, and it was fine if I couldn't do the full amount right now, but she really needed help, or she'd be out on the street! Using a quote from this very forum (damn, I don't remember who said it, but it was brilliant,) I told her that for this to be mutually beneficial, I liked to keep the funds in line with the relationship, since any other way would be unbalanced. She apologized for asking, and agreed that was fair, then later mentioned that I hadn't given her my phone number yet. I assume she's still waiting for it.

Many dozens of no-reply-to-my-opening-emails later, I ran across a mid-thirties married lady (SBMarriedAndOptimistic,) who wanted discretion and adventures--actual dating, as an escape, with the benefits (on both sides) of a sugar relationship. Bingo! I sent her a friendly Hello, she replied, and, after picture exchanges, she asked me what I was looking for. Among other things, I mentioned that former friends still talk to me regularly, so I don't accept any jealousy or possessiveness in someone I'm dating. She keyed in on that, and said that she was too scared of the risks to be sleeping with someone who might sleep with other people, so she said we could only continue as friends, not sugar-friends. Now, ignoring the fact that she knew that I was with someone, and that she had a husband and family. Well, okay, I suppose it's the second time that I've heard "exclusivity" as a requirement from a potential SB. I wished her well, and I refrained from pointing out that Sugar Dating is by nature NOT monogamous, and that the best she'll find is someone who lies to her about that.

However, I'm counting this as a learning opportunity--it seems that lying about monogamy with your SB is apparently what many SBs are looking for. I'm chalking this up to "learning social rules, since no one can really expect that their SD is not going to sleep with anyone else. ".

Clearly, I need to work on my Sugar Game Has the monogamy requirement come up as an issue in recent years, or did I just manage to get amazingly lucky to have not run into it in the past (with my admittedly small sample size.).

[Madaboutmax]

So, I can safely assume that GPS = Goddess P*ssy Syndrome.

GPS = Golden P*ssy Syndrome.

It's a severe disease that has know known cure. We need a fund raiser to find a cure! LOL.

[Crow999]

So, I can safely assume that GPS = Goddess P*ssy Syndrome.

Yep you are IMHO.

[Madaboutmax]

On SA, her name is SweetBella2014. Started emailing last Thursday, met for meet and greet on Friday. All seemed okay, made plans to hook up this morning. Walking her to her car she gave me the "my phone is about to be shut off" routine so I fronted her. 9 to take care of it. On Friday she had another emergency and begged me to send. 5 into her account, I bit and I did. Told her not to call or text over the weekend (she at least honored that). By yesterday am it was another series of oh-woe-is-me's (car accident, mom has cancer, etc.) and could we meet early because she really needed the money (I'm thinking WTF, you are already into me for 1. 4, do you think you're going to get anymore?) This morning I blew her off and took the loss. Too much drama for me. If you decide to pursue this one be careful and don't let her hook you for any cash up front and be prepared for the drama. Lesson learned for me.

I have been in contact with this one as well. She replied to my intro message with your number. After texting her, she wanted to meet up same day. Any baby that is that eager to meet always sends up red flags. Specially, if they have not made a good effort to know me. I assume they are either a pro, desperate or both. Any baby that is not willing to message back and forth for a few days and get to know my is automatically suspect.

Live and learn.

[GeorgeRichmond]

On SA, her name is SweetBella2014. Started emailing last Thursday, met for meet and greet on Friday. All seemed okay, made plans to hook up this morning. Walking her to her car she gave me the "my phone is about to be shut off" routine so I fronted her. 9 to take care of it. On Friday she had another emergency and begged me to send. 5 into her account, I bit and I did. Told her not to call or text over the weekend (she at least honored that). By yesterday am it was another series of oh-woe-is-me's (car accident, mom has cancer, etc.) and could we meet early because she really needed the money (I'm thinking WTF, you are already into me for 1. 4, do you think you're going to get anymore?) This morning I blew her off and took the loss. Too much drama for me. If you decide to pursue this one be careful and don't let her hook you for any cash up front and be prepared for the drama. Lesson learned for me.

Brother, never pay them upfront. Read this forum, you will find lots of info on this topic. When I started on this venture. I started giving gift cards (small amount), I did get burned, when one or two SB took the money on first date and ran away. Lessons learned. Now I don't give anything until the show is over.

So do not pay upfront. Bro, be careful on information sharing. Do not wire money or use western union type service. Forget these types of SB.

[VaSD1]

Sorry you got burned. I NEVER front them any money. They get nothing until the panties hit the floor. I also advise them right from the beginning that I am not an ATM.

Definitely my new mantra.

[JZLizard]

I can't ever close, because I can't open. I do okay in person, but I don't seem to have a feel for online stuff. Tips?

I've been reading this forum, but there's so many posts and the search only gets me so far in finding quality posts.

Any help would be appreciated.

As Hollywood said, multiple profiles might help you figure out what works -- although if you're new to the online thing you'll want to be careful to remember what you said to who under which profile (maybe keep a spreadsheet), and of course you shouldn't add real photos of you under either -- send those after you've made contact with them.

Also I would target the UTR pro type first, just to get the hang of it all. You don't really need any level of game, online or otherwise, to land them, so it would be a good way to practice. Intentionally avoid the ones you really want, saving them for later. Then after you feel more comfortable with the whole online thing, gravitate toward what you really want.

Make your wealth / generosity known, since that's one of your strong cards. For example offer to take them to an expensive restaurant of their choice for the M&G just to show that you're for real.

[FyrGuy33]

On SA, her name is SweetBella2014. Started emailing last Thursday, met for meet and greet on Friday. All seemed okay, made plans to hook up this morning. Walking her to her car she gave me the "my phone is about to be shut off" routine so I fronted her. 9 to take care of it. On Friday she had another emergency and begged me to send. 5 into her account, I bit and I did. Told her not to call or text over the weekend (she at least honored that). By yesterday am it was another series of oh-woe-is-me's (car accident, mom has cancer, etc.) and could we meet early because she really needed the money (I'm thinking WTF, you are already into me for 1. 4, do you think you're going to get anymore?) This morning I blew her off and took the loss. Too much drama for me. If you decide to pursue this one be careful and don't let her hook you for any cash up front and be prepared for the drama. Lesson learned for me.

Sorry you got burned. I NEVER front them any money. They get nothing until the panties hit the floor. I also advise them right from the beginning that I am not an ATM.