"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Rouleur]

I've got the kind of frame that I can put on 35 lbs before anyone says "have you gained a few pounds?" But I learned a great deal about the benefits of staying as fit as possible as we get older.

When I first split up from my ex-wife I would go out hunting women at my "married" weight (about 20 lbs over ideal). No problems really. But then experimentally I got back into fitness and healthy eating more heavily and I realized something. Whatever your current success is with women, it is magnified as you approach your ideal weight (more on that later), meaning you will realize the benefits of (1) more encounters, (2) better sex from those encounters, or (3) just better looking women or (4) all of the above as you approach your ideal weight or fitness level.

What I thought was "good enough" (my married weight) probably was, but after I saw what was possible after I got serious about going to the gym again there was no turning back.

I doubt many SBs care about six pack abs or any other notion of perfect looks that someone might have, because in an SD the competition is other guys of same age, we aren't competing with 21 year old guys' physique any more than they can compete with our career success (the latter being more attractive to the SB anyway). But, it's also good to point out that the closer you can get to looking young (however it is, and for many people that means not gaining too much weight) then it will only benefit you in bed. We perform better, we fuck more vigorously, our cock gets harder, our stamina and energy are better, etc. And sex is even more enjoyable when we are fit.

So, that's the real reason for hitting the gym as a SD I think. That and simply living longer, avoiding injuries and stress on our body and immune system that occurs from being overweight. Anything that stresses our immune system increases our risk of cancer and of course increased susceptibility to STDs etc. , so the healthier we are the better we can fuck them. We are not going to have much fun in the bowl if we are laid up with late stage cancer because we ate too many refined sugar products.

I mentioned I would come back to "ideal weight". By that I just mean the weight at which we look our best. For me that usually means "as thin as I can get", because I find gaining weight too easy and staying the same weight I was in college is much more challenging. For those who are more thin than average then maybe gaining a few pounds is beneficial (as long as it doesn't get to the point of slowing you down in bed).

I can't remember the last time I was "too thin" so I just strive for the lowest weight I can achieve -- I also lift weights, not to try to get bigger, but because I want to delay muscle atrophy as much as possible (muscle atrophy more than any other feature of aging really will make a person look old, and if we don't use our muscles we lose them). Also lifting weights boosts our natural testosterone levels, which makes us hornier and just generally feeling younger than we are.

I think I've successfully tricked my body into maintaining very close to my ideal weight even when I don't work out, as long as I don't slip back into careless eating habits. But even still, when I do work out everything is just so much better, more enjoyable.

You hit so many important points dead center I won't try to list them. Being tall had allowed me to carry too much extra weight that, while not visually impairing, was physically taxing me in more ways than I understood at the time. The day my marriage ended I was diagnosed with skin cancer and had a heart attack that afternoon while visiting my Cardiologist for a previously made appointment. All in all, not a good day. However, since that time I have gone on to regain my health physically and the benefits have extended to my emotional and sexual well being too.

When I first started trying the SD / SB life, I offered over the top compensation to SBs because I assumed my age would be such a turn off to young women. Reading posts from you, HollywoodGuy, and others made me realize that our age, not just our money, can be the selling point. Being in good shape and good health just seals the deal.

[FredMoore]

Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.

Since my budget is lower these days I have told the SB Pots that I Like to relax in a nice home environment and prefer their place if they live alone, once they are comfortable with me. I want them to get the extra money instead of the Hotel chain. They will think about the extra money, so factor that into your offer. Most will not like it but I have had success there.

Case in point: With one of my ATFs I went out of town to meet her for dinner. The understanding was we would go to the FC all night if we felt a connection. She was OK with her home but friends talked her out of it and she required a hotel the 1st visit. After dinner I asked if she wanted to spend some quiet time together and she said yes, so I told her that I was stepping out to make a reservation. She said not to worry and she felt safe to invite me to her home. And home we went.

Married FC: usually means a hotel. I always pick a dirt cheap one since you will only be spending a few hours together. One of my SBs likes public / car sex but I will not do that. I'm too old and can't be caught on a public indecency rap.

[JZLizard]

Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.

1. Just be straight with them about what you're looking for and understand that you will most likely only be able to land UTRs with that strategy. A real SB would never bring you to her home on the first encounter, and she's going to assume that if you're too cheap to get a hotel you're too cheap to be a reliable SD. Some of them will warm up to the idea of bringing you to their place over time, but pulling it off on the first encounter really reveals her as a UTR rather than a true SB. Maybe sometimes that's a good thing but you would probably have better luck pulling UTRs off CL.

2. I'm not married but have a live in GF so I always do a hotel and never in the city I live in.

[FeelGoodMd]

Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.

The easiest solution is a cheap hotel / motel (preferably one that you can pay cash for). As long as there are no roaches or bedbugs, that is.

[GBL86]

Hey Gang,

Another noob here, dipping my toes into the sugar pool. Like most of y'all I'm married too, which can be somewhat limiting at times. Have identified a few POTs and have been exchanging emails lately. Biggest issue I've learned recently is finding a place to play. All POTs I've been emailing have gone nearly radio silent when I ask them if they have their own place. I've even tried to qualify my question with logic (I know. Stop laughing! Saying that hotel costs will negatively impact the level of support I can provide to them. So would like to know a couple of things:

1. What's the best way to broach this subject with a POT without turning them off?

2. What are you other married guys doing as far as a FC?

I think it was Billy Crystal who once said "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place". So true.

[JZLizard]

I am tall and thin and used to be self conscious, until I realized a lot of girls (especially spinners, which I am naturally attracted to) don't like big guys. Don't like six packs, and don't like younger guys with macho attitudes.

Now I am older and filled out a little. I actually lost 20 pounds to stay thin. It works for me.

I've got the kind of frame that I can put on 35 lbs before anyone says "have you gained a few pounds?" But I learned a great deal about the benefits of staying as fit as possible as we get older.

When I first split up from my ex-wife I would go out hunting women at my "married" weight (about 20 lbs over ideal). No problems really. But then experimentally I got back into fitness and healthy eating more heavily and I realized something. Whatever your current success is with women, it is magnified as you approach your ideal weight (more on that later), meaning you will realize the benefits of (1) more encounters, (2) better sex from those encounters, or (3) just better looking women or (4) all of the above as you approach your ideal weight or fitness level.

What I thought was "good enough" (my married weight) probably was, but after I saw what was possible after I got serious about going to the gym again there was no turning back.

I doubt many SBs care about six pack abs or any other notion of perfect looks that someone might have, because in an SD the competition is other guys of same age, we aren't competing with 21 year old guys' physique any more than they can compete with our career success (the latter being more attractive to the SB anyway). But, it's also good to point out that the closer you can get to looking young (however it is, and for many people that means not gaining too much weight) then it will only benefit you in bed. We perform better, we fuck more vigorously, our cock gets harder, our stamina and energy are better, etc. And sex is even more enjoyable when we are fit.

So, that's the real reason for hitting the gym as a SD I think. That and simply living longer, avoiding injuries and stress on our body and immune system that occurs from being overweight. Anything that stresses our immune system increases our risk of cancer and of course increased susceptibility to STDs etc. , so the healthier we are the better we can fuck them. We are not going to have much fun in the bowl if we are laid up with late stage cancer because we ate too many refined sugar products.

I mentioned I would come back to "ideal weight". By that I just mean the weight at which we look our best. For me that usually means "as thin as I can get", because I find gaining weight too easy and staying the same weight I was in college is much more challenging. For those who are more thin than average then maybe gaining a few pounds is beneficial (as long as it doesn't get to the point of slowing you down in bed).

I can't remember the last time I was "too thin" so I just strive for the lowest weight I can achieve -- I also lift weights, not to try to get bigger, but because I want to delay muscle atrophy as much as possible (muscle atrophy more than any other feature of aging really will make a person look old, and if we don't use our muscles we lose them). Also lifting weights boosts our natural testosterone levels, which makes us hornier and just generally feeling younger than we are.

I think I've successfully tricked my body into maintaining very close to my ideal weight even when I don't work out, as long as I don't slip back into careless eating habits. But even still, when I do work out everything is just so much better, more enjoyable.

[HollywoodGuy]

I am with Hollywood on the hot chicks. You never know. I would describe myself as a tubby old guy 60 and big, (but with a few tricks up my sleeves) My babes to a one all end up calling me sugar bear. But I have a lot of confidence in myself and never worry about it. The babes still are coming and returning. Go ahead and ask you never know. Usually they are being bombarded by muscle bound numb heads and are swept away by a little class. Sometimes it is not worth the effort, the 10's tend to have few skills. But those 9's. Dayammn.

And I post pics so ya'll know that not all the good ones are in California. Some are on the east coast! You guys need to share some too. This week I am seeing my Chinese translator. OMG I am the one in love.

I am tall and thin and used to be self conscious, until I realized a lot of girls (especially spinners, which I am naturally attracted to) don't like big guys. Don't like six packs, and don't like younger guys with macho attitudes.

Now I am older and filled out a little. I actually lost 20 pounds to stay thin. It works for me. The salt and pepper grey hair and a few creases in the face are a real assets as well. I had no idea how much some girls love love love older guys until I became one.

[Marcus Weiner]

Sorry I wasn't more clear about the circumstances of my tryst this afternoon. She is the office manager and everyone was gone for the day when I saw her. My man it's a pediatrician's office, how in the world would I go about fucking her with children around? Anyway, she was on SA and brought up the idea for cost (getting a room) and convenience (having to pick up her kids at the sitter's) to make it easy for both of us. It was a very unique experience. MW.

Wow! More details needed on this one please! How in the world did you go about lining this up? We're there other patients and employees in the office? How'd you guys play it off?

[Marcus Weiner]

I'm not so sure I'd agree with you. However unlikely it would be for LE to go fishing on the SD / SB websites, it's really only a matter of time before they worm the hooks and try a sting or two this way. To say that you're expecting sex for cash is solicitation, nothing more, nothing less. There are certainly girls that play off the notion that we're going to dump drinks down their throats and feed them plus give them a couple hundred bucks to be graced with their company and discuss current events, but the smart ones know that they are going to have to fuck us to get the money and if they come off saying that they're not prostitutes, figure it out. They are nothing short of being charlatans! There is a tacet agreement between SD and SB and if they aren't down for the FC, move on. Use common sense and be careful what you say but anytime sex is brought up I avoid the discussion of sex for money. MW.

This is not at all unusual, for a POT to ask if physical activity is expected. Tell her what you're expecting. You can couch it however you like. But make sure she knows that you are expecting sex as part of any arrangement you enter into. Some have no interest in any sort of physical arrangements at all, in which case they have no business being on a sugar site. Forget them and move on to the next POT.

[Beachesnole02]

I am with Hollywood on the hot chicks. You never know. I would describe myself as a tubby old guy 60 and big, (but with a few tricks up my sleeves) My babes to a one all end up calling me sugar bear. But I have a lot of confidence in myself and never worry about it. The babes still are coming and returning. Go ahead and ask you never know. Usually they are being bombarded by muscle bound numb heads and are swept away by a little class. Sometimes it is not worth the effort, the 10's tend to have few skills. But those 9's. Dayammn.

And I post pics so ya'll know that not all the good ones are in California. Some are on the east coast! You guys need to share some too. This week I am seeing my Chinese translator. OMG I am the one in love.

[FotoGuy1970]

Finally dipping my toe into the SD / SB world and looking for a bit of advice. I messaged a SB, she messaged back asking for pics, I sent pics, she says they were good, she asks me what kind of arrangement I'm looking for, I respond with what days I'm typically available and the frequency that I can meet. I told her I would like to meet in person before we agree to any arrangement in order to ensure we are compatible. She responds saying the schedule works and asks what I'm wanting to do with her "like sex or what". Spidey senses tingling. Not sure if this is a normal exchange. Normally I'd be running for the hills as it sounds like LE to me. Not sure how (or if) I should respond? Any advice greatly appreciated.

This is not at all unusual, for a POT to ask if physical activity is expected. Tell her what you're expecting. You can couch it however you like. But make sure she knows that you are expecting sex as part of any arrangement you enter into. Some have no interest in any sort of physical arrangements at all, in which case they have no business being on a sugar site. Forget them and move on to the next POT.

[LandonR]

Ok cross another off the bucket list! I found a struggling mother on SA looking to make some extra cash and agreed to 100. She works in a pediatric doctor's office and it was bizarre. She had the wear and tear of 3 kids showing on her belly, and the vag was very loose. A bit on the homely side but not hideous to look at. The loose vag prevented me from cumming, but she had outstanding mic skills and I nutted in her hungry mouth, LOL. I doubt that I'll see her again but it was fun fucking the office manager in the doctor's office! MW.

Wow! More details needed on this one please! How in the world did you go about lining this up? We're there other patients and employees in the office? How'd you guys play it off?

[Marcus Weiner]

Ok cross another off the bucket list! I found a struggling mother on SA looking to make some extra cash and agreed to 100. She works in a pediatric doctor's office and it was bizarre. She had the wear and tear of 3 kids showing on her belly, and the vag was very loose. A bit on the homely side but not hideous to look at. The loose vag prevented me from cumming, but she had outstanding mic skills and I nutted in her hungry mouth, LOL. I doubt that I'll see her again but it was fun fucking the office manager in the doctor's office! MW.

[JZLizard]

What they are doing is what we do. They are opening 40 emails / day and sometimes it takes awhile to get around to yours. Also, they might be working off a few Pots before they can do you. If you miss them and they are "in a sugarship " which doesn't work out then they will revisit previous emails. And sometimes they are just not into you.

Yes, I think this is probably why many of them don't respond or they are simply handling things on a priority basis. I explain what I'm about in my early contact, which some of them will detect as a transient SD type who is not the one for them if they are looking for someone who is going to always be there to handle the latest emergency. In some cases I get these delayed responses from girls who say they moved out of the area they used to be in or whatever, but now they are back. Maybe its true and they shack up with an SD in another town or just travel around on the money they make. Its a turn off for me when they do that, because the way I look at it any responsible or reasonable person would take 10 seconds to send me a note saying their situation has changed but they will contact me if things change back.

If I were a year round SD I'd put preferences aside and just bang them anyway but with a relatively small window of opportunity, I can only do what I can do. The fact I'm seasonal is something I can't really be straight with them about anyway.

[Graham111]

Well we know how this goes. I have the third date with SB15 tonite and getting the vibe she may be a little too enamored with me. Suspended her SD4 M account and tells me "just stay the way you are, you are wonderful). 30 YO so not her first rodeo but a very good fuck and pretty good personality. So we play with fire!. Not sure she picked up on the "Married" description in my profile. What's a guy to do?

So SB15 came over, we made drinks and went to the community hot tub. Other people in the big pool but not with us in the hot tub. After some extended rubbing she says "do you mind" and climbs aboard. Later that night back to the apartment and she has too much to drink, even to the point "fuck my ass". Unfortunately I have had too much to drink and not rock hard like I need to be but good time had and. We are on for nxt wk. It's nice when you get a regular SB. You know what they like.