"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JZLizard]

Happy Lover. Quick question, I think I'm reading into the post that you believe that telling her your true age led to the arrangement going downhill and was thus a mistake? I think that's what you're saying but wasn't sure.

[Happy Lover]

Greetings All,

I hope this isn't a double post. I sent this yesterday afternoon, but it timed out asking me to login again. Since it still hasn't posted, here goes.

I have what I guess qualifies as a SB that I'll share and then look to the brethren for advice.

I introduced myself to the forum last September and as I was separating myself from the escort scene and preparing for the bowl my SO busted me with undeniable evidence. That was in October. After quenching the flames of her discovery and then laying low for a while I visited a UTR in December. She was 18, only escorting for a couple of months, had a handful of regulars, and expressed a desire to separate herself from that. She is 5'1", muscular spinner frame (think not quite cheerleader), latina, with a narrow apple bottom, and the most amazing see / the cups that I have ever seen in real life, maybe ever. I usually go for the be cups for perkiness, but hers naturally defy gravity. We hit it off right away. I would pay her donation on the way home after we hung out and went at each other for as long as I wanted to. She is what most of us look for, a gorgeous woman who doesn't know how beautiful and sexy she is. She complains about how guys are constantly hitting on her and giving her free things and then in the next breath claim to being a failure at being beautiful or sexy. At that time I would say 8/9/8/8. I continued seeing her regularly for the rest of December. By Jan 1, she had agreed to $650/ mo, two visits a week, which I broke down into weekly payments of $150 which I would sometimes give her on the first visit, sometimes the second. She would never ask for it. We developed more of a relationship. I got her motivated to continue with school, pushed her to find a job, taught her life lessons that she was ill prepared for, basically helped her out in any way that I could. She pared her regulars down to a couple. By the end of Jan, she had mentioned a couple of times that she felt strange taking money from me because that made it about "something other than hanging out". I took the hint. We talked about FWB, she brought it up, and then we never talked about money again. I just stopped giving it to her. She was fine with that, in fact I would get calls saying that she wanted to see me and get together for quickies along with our regular visits. At the end of Feb, she needed help with Mar rent and I gave her $250 to help out. That was it for Feb. She has room mates that know nothing about our relationship or her other activities. So with exception to her not having a place for us or a car, this is ideal. New rating 9/10/10/9. She is intelligent, just unprepared for the world. Her attitude is sweet and caring. We text everyday, usually extensively. She is always good about communicating. Everything is going great.

She has had issues with stalkers, exes who won't leave her alone, basically guys who are obsessed with her. I can see why. With her looks, attitude, and strong sex drive, who wouldn't be? We agreed to keep it light, not get too involved. She is more than a little paranoid. Every now and then she would, very frankly, ask me to reassure her that I wasn't falling in love with her. Of course I would always do so. She started to causally see someone her own age a few weeks ago. She just started a new job, finally. There are numerous things about me that she just hasn't asked me about, one of which being my age. She asked last week, and after I unsuccessfully tried to change the subject several times, I told her the truth. I probably should have lied. It turns out that she thought that I was about 15 years younger than I am. So on Monday, I stopped by her place to bring her some soup and hot tea because she has a cold. 5 min later, enter the problem.

I get a text from her saying that I'm wonderful, she can't put into words how much she appreciates what I've done for her, but she can tell that I like her too much and she wants to make sure that it doesn't end badly. I'm driving, so I called her to put her worries to rest, again. She then proceeds to tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore because I'm falling for her and it will only get worse with time. When I protested and gave her logic she used the fact that I protested as proof that she was right. What?! Just when I think I've got that issue squared away, she tells me that even though her seeing the guy her own age isn't exclusive, she feels like she has two boyfriends and doesn't like it. Bottom line, we shouldn't see each other anymore. I sent a text when I got home saying that I thought she made a rash decision because we we're making plans to see each other while I was dropping off the food, then 5 min later pulling a 180 on me. I told her not to reply, think about it, and we would talk in a couple of days. She responded a couple of hours later telling me that she had thought about it before sending me the first text. I'm thinking she is just being young and skittish. Otherwise, why would she be making plans with me and then 5 min later, end it? We haven't communicated since Monday, which is a big deal considering how often we talk / text.

She really does need some guidance in her life at this time. She has no one that fits that bill. She is also putting too much credence in her newly acquired minimum wage job. I was planning on sending her a lengthy email on Monday about how good I am for her. That she needs my positive influence in her life. That while I care about her, it is still casual. She (like so many young girls) uses social media extensively and has left the security wide open. Yesterday she went out with girlfriends (when we had planned to get together) and had a lousy time. Today she is bored to death at home. I'm fighting the urge to contact her now instead of waiting. As we all know, timing is everything with this sort of situation. Unfortunately, I have no idea when and think its a crap shoot. She also has a banking issue with a deadline on the 21st that I'm considering trying to white knight. That would back fire on me if she already has it handled.

What would you do? If she is adamant about not seeing each other but still wants my assistance, (quite possible) would you go along with being a friend with only her benefitting from my knowledge? Regardless, if it goes south, I'll be kind and leave the door wide open for her to change her mind in the near future.

Thanks for listening and giving any insightful feedback.

HL.

[HollywoodGuy]

One year anniversary. She is a 10/10/9/8. Still 20. Probably average me about $$$$$$$$ a month this year. It's taken a year for her skill level to go from a 6 to an 8. And MMMV from week to week. But overall she is improving. I am hoping that 8 turns into a 9 by years end. And she is my GF so the e-level is high. And the per visit is also higher. We always plan for 8 days a month. But this month will only be 5.

Different girls satisfy different needs. She does cover a lot of bases, but not all of them. And she knows that.

[Golfcart]

Yes Revvo, these stories keep us all going. It's interesting how the Blog ebbs and flows with significant players coming and going through. Lets' have a moment of silence for the great names who were or are still here. And it's great that so many new names are popping up. You Revvo have risen to the top of the productivity chart with Hollywood.

Remember: Lit (still here and moderating) the king of it all, Golf, F Scott (where are you man?) ,

Yes, Literal2 when at the time the incarnation was Literal is the godfather of the board from the founding post on 12-26-2010. F Scott came on board and picked up the heavy lifting by heavy learning and heavy posting. As the result of this and a lot of joiners willing to try and see if it works this place became the Holy Grail of Sugar Babyhood all across the country just because the early days were made up of guys knowing nothing about this but willing to feel their way along with their fingers and post what works and what does not work, all by trial and error. That's why this place is what it is, and why this thread is chock full of good information what to do and what not to do, all here for the reading. All other SB boards to come along since are pretenders. I think I may have posted this before and that's because it's all true, even the part about Literal starting this thread on the Richmond board because he happened to be spending that night in Richmond. You can't make this stuff up.

Literal2 is our moderator now, of course, and performing in the background but Scott has been totally absent of late. I always worried about Scott, and don't know why. It's time to show up, Scott, so we know you're okay, so you read you are missed.

Fred, thanks for kick-starting me to say what needed to be said.

[HollywoodGuy]

Not quite sure how a guy could send a message to a SB on SDforme if they (the guy) aren't a paying member. If the gal has a VIP membership, then you can send messages with any contact info in it anyways.

If you are not a gold member no girl will take you seriously.

[Dirty Dingus]

Have not heard of them down here. But sometimes the more obscure ones can have fewer lurkers and gameplayers hitting on the girls. But also could have fewer girls to pick from and maybe less GPS which can always be a plus.

By the way funny story my little Italian Princess was telling me on the lurkers front. She said that when she was on SDforme. She would get about 20 messages a day from douchebags who had not paid for a membership and they would put in the subject line their email and to call email them. Obviously not even paying for a membership. lol

And sometimes these douches would track her facebook down and contact her through there. And say things like you never emailed me back? SMH Another reason to keep your girls privacy secret also. If you start posting her pics around she could get stalked electronically.

Just an interesting story.

Revvo

Not quite sure how a guy could send a message to a SB on SDforme if they (the guy) aren't a paying member. If the gal has a VIP membership, then you can send messages with any contact info in it anyways.

[CaneBay]

Has anyone tried this site? Heard about from what I consider a failry reliable source. A search in my area shows a lot of girls, a few of whom I've seen on SA or SD4 M, but not all. I'm thinking about giving it a try but thought I'd see of anyone has any experience.

Was on this site playing around after your post. Most of the profiles are very old with no recent activity. Definitely search the profiles before anyone pays for access. East TN, NW GA looks like a waste of time. Does not look like you can search by recent activity or by newest member close to you.

Just my 2 cents.

[HollywoodGuy]

Have not heard of them down here. But sometimes the more obscure ones can have fewer lurkers and gameplayers hitting on the girls. But also could have fewer girls to pick from and maybe less GPS which can always be a plus.

By the way funny story my little Italian Princess was telling me on the lurkers front. She said that when she was on SDforme. She would get about 20 messages a day from douchebags who had not paid for a membership and they would put in the subject line their email and to call email them. Obviously not even paying for a membership. lol

And sometimes these douches would track her facebook down and contact her through there. And say things like you never emailed me back? SMH Another reason to keep your girls privacy secret also. If you start posting her pics around she could get stalked electronically.

Just an interesting story.

Revvo

Thats why I only post pictures I take myself that are not on any other sites. Or pics that were only taken for me.

[Revvo]

Has anyone tried this site? Heard about from what I consider a failry reliable source. A search in my area shows a lot of girls, a few of whom I've seen on SA or SD4 M, but not all. I'm thinking about giving it a try but thought I'd see of anyone has any experience.

Have not heard of them down here. But sometimes the more obscure ones can have fewer lurkers and gameplayers hitting on the girls. But also could have fewer girls to pick from and maybe less GPS which can always be a plus.

By the way funny story my little Italian Princess was telling me on the lurkers front. She said that when she was on SDforme. She would get about 20 messages a day from douchebags who had not paid for a membership and they would put in the subject line their email and to call email them. Obviously not even paying for a membership. lol

And sometimes these douches would track her facebook down and contact her through there. And say things like you never emailed me back? SMH Another reason to keep your girls privacy secret also. If you start posting her pics around she could get stalked electronically.

Just an interesting story.

Revvo

[Dsprdo]

Has anyone tried this site? Heard about from what I consider a failry reliable source. A search in my area shows a lot of girls, a few of whom I've seen on SA or SD4 M, but not all. I'm thinking about giving it a try but thought I'd see of anyone has any experience.

[HollywoodGuy]

This is one reason why I like the young, inexperienced singles. They frequently are naive and have not been burned yet. But they are like moths flitting near that flame. Someday they will get too close.

Ditto that. But mostly they have been emotionally burned by some young guy or guys. Then they just stop dating for a while. Then it's on to a 60 year old SD for some real fun. God bless those jersey shore and thug types. They make our lives so fuckin easy.

[FredMoore]

Many of these girls have been through hard times. My little FB almost Nando 1 just got the living crap beat out of her by an acquaintance. She could have been seriously injured or worse by the lout. Fortunately he's off to jail. She was all beat up and still made it to her appointment. I wish I had unlimited funds to just bless someone like her for no other reason than she needs it. I would be a White Knight if I could.

[FredMoore]

" But she could not see past her own nasty bitterness to even hold her tongue for just a little while. " Revvo.

A lot of girls here view themselves as victims and have "victimized" by a guy. Perhaps she was married and her husband stepped out on her. She will not be a pleasant SB for anyone and will use the poor sucker to get "back at" mankind.

This is one reason why I like the young, inexperienced singles. They frequently are naive and have not been burned yet. But they are like moths flitting near that flame. Someday they will get too close.

[Revvo]

I met this blond a couple of months back on SDforme. Actually we never met we just talked. You can always tell a lot about POTs by how well they respond at first. People have what is called a social tone. And what that is. Is a very strong preference for being nice communicative and social when they first meet you. Such as in a party when you are introduced to someone, or on a job interview when trying to impress, or first chatting with someone on a dating site.

Now many of these people drop the social tone eventually if they are honest and of normal quality they can maintain the social tone for a very long time because it is their nature. If they are very deceptive like a lot of the women on these sites they can maintain it for quite a while and usually long enough to get something from you. But most women can only do it for so long and then they revert back to their natural state which is angry, surly, bitter, desperate, sarcastic, or a variety Nando 1 type of behaviors. By the way gents use this info at your own peril if they have this pattern of behavior early on beware, spend time to screen them and see if they can maintain it.

So anyway I was chatting with this very attractive but not gorgeous blond MILF, 35 YO nice body. And she is not very responsive but hey I was not busy at the moment so I would go a little longer. Big waste of time. So I eventually get her on the phone and she is not overly pleasant just cordial. And she starts to tell me about a health issue she is having with her 10 YO son. Now my son has the same issues and I am very familiar with the details of it and offer her some advice and information. Which she eagerly accepts and is very interested in.

The conversation goes for about 15 minutes like this. Pleasant and decent. I am in the car driving to an appointment so I have an hour to kill. So eventually she asks me. "you keep referring to we, are you married?" I said of course I am so is about all of the men on that site. She says no they are not. I said yes just a lot of them just don't tell you this. I said are you familiar with what a sugar daddy is. She says "jerk but its ok, they are all jerks" and then she kind of smirks and laughs a little. Now the phone was a little garbled so I thought. Maybe I did not hear her right. So I said did you just call me a jerk. Now I have done nothing to this woman and have not said anything mean or hid anything from her my marital status is on my profile. I had even been helping her with something very important. But she could not see past her own nasty bitterness to even hold her tounge for just a little while.

I said really? And said good by.

Amazing, and she was laughing the whole time. It was erie.

Anyway there is a strange but funny one.

Revvo.

[HollywoodGuy]

Agreed about your last line, but the thing is once you have cash there is almost no way you can separate it from dating. Even if we meet a woman while broke and get rich while with her, it will impact our relationship in some way (and probably not in the way we'd prefer).

Part of the art of the game is being in control of the relationship without them realizing it. When they're eating out of your hand psychologically, it matters less what you actually have in your hand (cash in this case).

I was just saying that "game", or the social skills with which we use to interact with our ladies, is something you benefit from whether civi, SD, or anything else. Cash enhances it all of course, amping up our game when present, but game can be developed without it. Having cash without having game will still get us pussy, but having game will keep us paying a whole lot less for it, or in some cases not paying cash (directly) at all. Notice I said not paying cash, civi dating can get expensive too.

I personally have two major obstacles (1) being in a regular relationship I don't want to give up and (2) my actual age and financial position makes it harder for me to be with the age range of women I prefer without being an SD. (1) means I can only do this a few weeks out of the year, and (2) isn't going to get any easier with time.

If you've never been in a nightclub, only to have a cute 21 old flirt with you, pull you out on stage to dance with her, and after a half hour be all over you with her tongue down your throat, only to watch her suddenly lose interest when she learns your actual age (at least twice hers) and start to act creeped out as she starts thinking her friends will judge her, etc., then it would be hard to imagine the type of disappointment I'm looking to avoid with the SB scene. I've been in the above scenarios and its not fun. At least with SBs they've already made up their mind they will screw an older guy. In the mainstream civi pick-up world, even if you still have the charm to pull it off, you have the real-world obstacle of your actual age to get in the way. Sugardaddying solves that problem for me.

At 60 and dating mostly 20 year olds and only internet dating for 15 years, there is no other option for me to get what I want. And yes game is key. I really had none when I started. In the beginning I had a ton of cash which I spent freely. It was a very expensive lesson. And now, yes, I pay a little and get a lot. So I hear ya brother.