"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[FredMoore]

Have decided to quite sb10.she is starting to be a whiner and the thrill is gone! Need ideas? Go silent? Deliver the news? What'd ya think?

Tell her 1) your finances have changed and you can no longer afford to be a SD.

2) Your SO discovered you and you have to cut it off.

3) your Herpes got worse / whatever is final and outrageous.

Thank her for a wonderful time together but you can longer see her --and go silent.

It's best that they don't take it personally and can blame "the circumstances".

[HollywoodGuy]

Have decided to quite sb10.she is starting to be a whiner and the thrill is gone! Need ideas? Go silent? Deliver the news? What'd ya think?

Deliver the news. Then go silent. But it has to be very final sounding. Because there may be many follow up txt's from her.

[Colgado]

Have decided to quite sb10.she is starting to be a whiner and the thrill is gone! Need ideas? Go silent? Deliver the news? What'd ya think?

Just deliver the blow as quickly as possible. The faster you get it over with the better off you and her will be. She will hopefully learn a lesson: it's business not pleasure, and, if she is really smart, she will understand that her customer service needs to improve.

[Graham111]

Have decided to quite sb10.she is starting to be a whiner and the thrill is gone! Need ideas? Go silent? Deliver the news? What'd ya think?

[Barry B]

When SB # 2 texts that she needs a cash advance and can I meet her somewhere or buy a Green Dot card I do not respond. I have found that it is too easy to get into a dialog about how desperate things are and it is an endless spiral.

This was a lesson I learned as well through experience. In the past, I would try to be helpful and suggest ways to solve the problem without me having to come up with the cash. However, I am no match for their persistence or desperation. So now I suggest she earn it by coming over or I just stop responding if I'm not looking for fun that day.

[Walruscl]

One thing for sure. Our morals and what we take for granted as acceptable behavior may be a totally new concept to these girls. I have been lulled into a false sense of security more than once, through no scheming on the girls part, just me being oblivious to their reality. My humble home and responsibilities may be something they aspire to but really have no clue on how to attain it. We are like parents to some of these girls, especially the younger ones. They need their daddy, its a double edged sword.

The whole mentoring / emotional support and guidance thing has been a big part of my adventure. She's not Nando1, but had a broken upbringing with very few role models to gravitate to. Being able to guide her through situations which seem insurmountable to her but 2nd nature to us is a big deal for her. Frankly, worth more than the money-what good is money if you don't put it to good use?

Anyway, I help her through her existential crises school and what she really wants and how she's going to get there but "damn I'm going to fail!" and "I have to work while I take classes" and all that fun stuff. And I'm not letting the drama get to me so much, as I seen her pattern of panic, then regroup and figure out a solution.

Fortunately I clearly don't have a schemer. My biggest worries are of discovery, and how clean the inevitable break will be. Letting go will be tough on both sides of the equation, but I'm still enjoying the ride.

[HollywoodGuy]

Grumpy thanks for the advice and thanks to you Fred.

I really like your analysis of showing her the level she needs to use for the manufactured emergencies. At this point I do not believe they are manufactured emergencies. She has been completely honest with me so far and I have had quite a few babies that tried to bullshit me. So your point is very accurate. And I have been pretty stingy with any type of alimony so far. Now on the Nando 1 front I do not believe she is there. She does not drink or smoke or do drugs. She has her own house and car, and they are clean and nice, and has a job and goes to school. Actually not bad for a 19 YO. She is however surrounded by a lot of nutty and semi nutty family members. She is Puerto Rican and very proud of that. And I have seen that make them quite self destructive. But so far have not seen that in her. She is very calm not hysterical and crazy like a lot of the young babies are.

That being said she has come from a terrible upbringing with very bad mother and father. But not poor. They just don't help her with money and they were abusive. So basically she has raised herself since she was 15. I can't tell you how many babies I have found like this. And they jump from Lilly pad to Lilly pad or crisis to crisis. So no I did not meet with her today I expressed my concern very calmly. And no I did not give her any money. And I told her in very kind but firm terms (something I am sure she is not used to). That I don't mind helping her but I am not here to bail her out of her crises. And in addition this relationship should be about fun and excitement. Not constant turmoil and crisis. She agreed and told me that her cousin was arrested for shoplifting and that my girl left the store when she saw the cousin put stuff in her purse. But when she went outside cousin followed her and police arrested both. She had nothing on her and she will most likely get charges dropped on her. Which I agree with.

Then I talked with her about two other things. She needs to not associate with anyone that not only brings her down. But only associate with people she admires and can help lift her up. She agreed. And finally I talked to her about her duties as a sugar baby and if I am not feeling it we will not proceed. I needed someone who was sexually open and available to me. And that I am the one helping pay for her place so I should be the one meeting her there and not some lame family member that does not help her at all. She promised she would be much better. I don't think she has ever been in an affectionate and loving environment. And I think we as semi normal people take that for granted with some of these damaged souls sometime.

Finally I will say on our last meeting last Friday before this incident. Affection and performance was better. So she is working on it. But she is still on the bubble and will do for now while my other three no dollar 40 ish babies are getting developed.

Wow never a dull moment. And thanks for all of the great advice. You guys are awesome.

Revvo.

One thing for sure. Our morals and what we take for granted as acceptable behavior may be a totally new concept to these girls. I have been lulled into a false sense of security more than once, through no scheming on the girls part, just me being oblivious to their reality. My humble home and responsibilities may be something they aspire to but really have no clue on how to attain it. We are like parents to some of these girls, especially the younger ones. They need their daddy, its a double edged sword.

[Revvo]

You mentioned in earlier posts that she's on the bubble with you, tends to request cash advances up front, lacks any actual intimacy, and seems to be using guys for money. The only positive things she has going for her is that she's hotter than hell, and her weekly costs work out to be in a good range.

My $0.02 depends on whether or not she knows your real name, or just a hobby name. If she knows your real name, she can add you to her list of visitors, and you can try to find time to visit her once, so she can talk you into adding .5 to her canteen funds. If she doesn't, however, I would not decide to break cover just to go visit her, and I would not be interested in sending funds to jail without visiting first. I'd be "sorry, too busy" to visit, and "let's talk about taking care of funding after I get a chance to visit you.".

However, I sincerely doubt that you'll actually find her in jail. If she's like many other DBs (Drama Babies) she's using this as another unverifiable "emergency" that requires your money to solve, and she intends to milk it for a year or more of "court appearances" and "lawyer's fees." Shoplifting is hard to prove, so for her to have been arrested pretty much means she was caught red handed, whether or not her "cousin" was an accomplice. Assuming any of this story is true at all.

If you bite, you'll have shown her the level she needs to use to get you to pay for her self manufactured emergencies. You won't get receipts, nor will you get better service, and the emergencies will get bigger and more frequent, over time. That's not really a fun place to be, so I would consider being sympathetic and ready to "help her" when she's back out, but, bottom line, she's interested in seeing how much unearned income she can get from you, as you already know.

You haven't been with her long enough to feel obligated to pay "sugar alimony" as one poster so eloquently put it, a while back.

I'll be curious to know what you decide, though... You have some good SB stories!

Grumpy thanks for the advice and thanks to you Fred.

I really like your analysis of showing her the level she needs to use for the manufactured emergencies. At this point I do not believe they are manufactured emergencies. She has been completely honest with me so far and I have had quite a few babies that tried to bullshit me. So your point is very accurate. And I have been pretty stingy with any type of alimony so far. Now on the Nando 1 front I do not believe she is there. She does not drink or smoke or do drugs. She has her own house and car, and they are clean and nice, and has a job and goes to school. Actually not bad for a 19 YO. She is however surrounded by a lot of nutty and semi nutty family members. She is Puerto Rican and very proud of that. And I have seen that make them quite self destructive. But so far have not seen that in her. She is very calm not hysterical and crazy like a lot of the young babies are.

That being said she has come from a terrible upbringing with very bad mother and father. But not poor. They just don't help her with money and they were abusive. So basically she has raised herself since she was 15. I can't tell you how many babies I have found like this. And they jump from Lilly pad to Lilly pad or crisis to crisis. So no I did not meet with her today I expressed my concern very calmly. And no I did not give her any money. And I told her in very kind but firm terms (something I am sure she is not used to). That I don't mind helping her but I am not here to bail her out of her crises. And in addition this relationship should be about fun and excitement. Not constant turmoil and crisis. She agreed and told me that her cousin was arrested for shoplifting and that my girl left the store when she saw the cousin put stuff in her purse. But when she went outside cousin followed her and police arrested both. She had nothing on her and she will most likely get charges dropped on her. Which I agree with.

Then I talked with her about two other things. She needs to not associate with anyone that not only brings her down. But only associate with people she admires and can help lift her up. She agreed. And finally I talked to her about her duties as a sugar baby and if I am not feeling it we will not proceed. I needed someone who was sexually open and available to me. And that I am the one helping pay for her place so I should be the one meeting her there and not some lame family member that does not help her at all. She promised she would be much better. I don't think she has ever been in an affectionate and loving environment. And I think we as semi normal people take that for granted with some of these damaged souls sometime.

Finally I will say on our last meeting last Friday before this incident. Affection and performance was better. So she is working on it. But she is still on the bubble and will do for now while my other three no dollar 40 ish babies are getting developed.

Wow never a dull moment. And thanks for all of the great advice. You guys are awesome.

Revvo.

[Bunker Buster]

If she's like many other DBs (Drama Babies) she's using this as another unverifiable "emergency" that requires your money to solve, and she intends to milk it for a year or more of "court appearances" and "lawyer's fees."

If you bite, you'll have shown her the level she needs to use to get you to pay for her self manufactured emergencies. .

You haven't been with her long enough to feel obligated to pay "sugar alimony" as one poster so eloquently put it, a while back.

I've also learned this lesson from a few tweeners. Once you move from a BP thing to a sort-of SD thing, they get bolder with their stories and requests. Some of the legal problems and emergencies are real, because they come from screwed-up homes, and tend to hang around people with candy habits and sticky fingers, if they don't share these attributes themselves.

The one time I bought into an "emergency" and bought a green-dot card, I never saw her again. I chalked it up as a parting gift that worked out to 20 dollar tip for each time I saw her. It was kind of like paying "sugar alimony" without realizing it at the time. LOL.

[FredMoore]

I got this text from my 19 YO Tat baby about an hour ago. What would you do?

"My Cuzin stole from Walmart and got me in trouble going to jail help me".

Drama drama drama.

Revvo.

This girl is the definition of a Nando 1 . Avoid these girls at all costs, the pussy is just not worth it.

When SB # 2 texts that she needs a cash advance and can I meet her somewhere or buy a Green Dot card I do not respond. I have found that it is too easy to get into a dialog about how desperate things are and it is an endless spiral. I have been burned almost every time I advanced money. She has learned that I am not an ATM and that she has to earn her cash.

[FredMoore]

I got this text from my 19 YO Tat baby about an hour ago. What would you do?

"My Cuzin stole from Walmart and got me in trouble going to jail help me".

Drama drama drama.

Revvo.

What would I do?

Me "let me know when you are out and we will celebrate ".

[Grumpyinva]

I got this text from my 19 YO Tat baby about an hour ago. What would you do?

"My Cuzin stole from Walmart and got me in trouble going to jail help me".

Drama drama drama.

Revvo.

You mentioned in earlier posts that she's on the bubble with you, tends to request cash advances up front, lacks any actual intimacy, and seems to be using guys for money. The only positive things she has going for her is that she's hotter than hell, and her weekly costs work out to be in a good range.

My $0.02 depends on whether or not she knows your real name, or just a hobby name. If she knows your real name, she can add you to her list of visitors, and you can try to find time to visit her once, so she can talk you into adding .5 to her canteen funds. If she doesn't, however, I would not decide to break cover just to go visit her, and I would not be interested in sending funds to jail without visiting first. I'd be "sorry, too busy" to visit, and "let's talk about taking care of funding after I get a chance to visit you.".

However, I sincerely doubt that you'll actually find her in jail. If she's like many other DBs (Drama Babies) she's using this as another unverifiable "emergency" that requires your money to solve, and she intends to milk it for a year or more of "court appearances" and "lawyer's fees." Shoplifting is hard to prove, so for her to have been arrested pretty much means she was caught red handed, whether or not her "cousin" was an accomplice. Assuming any of this story is true at all.

If you bite, you'll have shown her the level she needs to use to get you to pay for her self manufactured emergencies. You won't get receipts, nor will you get better service, and the emergencies will get bigger and more frequent, over time. That's not really a fun place to be, so I would consider being sympathetic and ready to "help her" when she's back out, but, bottom line, she's interested in seeing how much unearned income she can get from you, as you already know.

You haven't been with her long enough to feel obligated to pay "sugar alimony" as one poster so eloquently put it, a while back.

I'll be curious to know what you decide, though... You have some good SB stories!

[Revvo]

I had a weird experience on SA yesterday. I was talking to woman in Nashville and she wouldn't show me any photos (she had a blurred photo on her profile). She also wanted me to come to a seedier part of the city to pick her up. I was very apprehensive and did some google and facebook research. I searched for her email on Facebook and it brought up a guy's profile. I asked her about it and she said I was a crazy stalker. Have any of you had an experience like that? I of course didn't meet her. Maybe I'm overly cautious, but I don't want to get catfished or in any trouble (I work in the tv biz and would like to keep working in it).

You did the right thing. Instead of explaining the strange occurrences she accuses you. Thats all you need to know.

Be careful out there.

Revvo.

[Revvo]

I got this text from my 19 YO Tat baby about an hour ago. What would you do?

"My Cuzin stole from Walmart and got me in trouble going to jail help me".

Drama drama drama.

Revvo.

[KrustyDawg7]

I found a nice potential SB on SA, and set about to arrange a meet. The photos on her profile showed no face so I asked for a face pic. She sent a tiny 100 x100 fuzzy phone pic that was fairly useless. Strike one. Asked about meeting for lunch or starbux and she said she would rather meet for a (motel) date without the preliminaries. We talked on the phone a couple times and she seemed legit. Never mentioned money at all. Mmmm. Planned a meet but weather interfered since it was a 100 mi trip for me. Various stories about shared custody of kids were exchanged...seemed normal. I googled her phone number and came up dry. Later just on a whim, I googled one of the faceless images of her backside. Bingo! Several escort ads and a website popped up. Also more photos. Strike two. Next I went through about 20 pages of posts on the USASG forum for her area and came up with the further info that the photos were quite old and did not represent her current appearance. Also found a bad review, a possible scammer. Strike three. BUSTED.

Lesson. Do your research. There are good and honest girls out there, but you have to be dilligent with checking them out.

Best,

Krusty.