Massage Parlor Reports

[Exec Talent]

Do not read JaguarXF's posts while eating.

[AncientOne]

I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.

You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.

Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).

Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.

I wish you all great success.

Merry Christmas, fellas.

I'm out.

JaguarXF.

Not sure that using Sandy Koufax and body rub mongering in the same sentence is a good thing. Doubt very highly that Koufax ever partook, LOL. But we get your point about hygiene and it happens to be excellent advice. Flowers are quite over the top but certainly guys need, at a minimum, NOT to be total retards. I fully understand from my years of mongering, what a bunch of sorry motherf*ckers these ladies get to deal with on a daily basis. If you stand out as NOT one of those guys, Your Mileage WILL Vary!

[Richrich]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were largely argumentative. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[Steve Pope]

Jag you left out the rule that you have to drive a rental car.

If I had your coinage I could whistle Dixie out my ass while dining at the Y and still get a great massage.

Of course, as always, YMMV.

Peace brothers & sistas.

Just don't forget to install the Vanity plate on the rental car!

SP.

[SpikeFL]

I have fully agree with JaguarXF on all basis and the only thing I have to add is that the AMP offers a tableshower take advantage of it. You will get a lot farther if the provider can scrub you clean.

OJ.

Amen to the advice!

[Sex Xes]

I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.

You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.

Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).

Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.

I wish you all great success.

Merry Christmas, fellas.

I'm out.

JaguarXF.

Jag you left out the rule that you have to drive a rental car.

If I had your coinage I could whistle Dixie out my ass while dining at the Y and still get a great massage.

Of course, as always, YMMV.

Peace brothers & sistas.

[Viamx]

I have fully agree with JaguarXF on all basis and the only thing I have to add is that the AMP offers a tableshower take advantage of it. You will get a lot farther if the provider can scrub you clean.

OJ.

The table shower can be quite relaxing too.

V.

[Ccon66]

1. Nikki. LMT on CL. Saw her again very recently. Early 20's, 5-6 130/ lbs. Br hair / br or hazel eyes. Be –see cup titties. Nice ass. Overall body is an 8/10.This young Latina is truly a sight to behold. Look at her photo. If you don't get instant "wood" looking at that photo, then you are on the wrong website (no offense to you gents who "swing" the other way). Reviewed her before. Draping is optional. Her incall office is on second floor of an office complex and Banquet Hall. Across from Rooms to Go / HH Gregg / Florida Mall. Beautiful body. Soft, smooth hands and skin. Really gets into her "sessions", if you will. Not a clock watcher. She really cares about you as a client. Wonderful technique, great full body massage. Nikki reads the board, so PM for Intel. Will definitely repeat. 100/ hr. http://orlando.craigslist.org/thp/4229630851.html.

Bummer. I just tried to get a hold of Nikki and got a "The mobile number you have called is no longer in service" message.

[OrlandoJ]

I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.

You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.

Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).

Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.

I wish you all great success.

Merry Christmas, fellas.

I'm out.

JaguarXF.

I have fully agree with JaguarXF on all basis and the only thing I have to add is that the AMP offers a tableshower take advantage of it. You will get a lot farther if the provider can scrub you clean.

OJ.

[Relentless self promoter and pain in my ass]

Jag... Your inbox is full.

Just cleaned everything out. Let's roll, brothers!

JaguarXF.

[Relentless self promoter and pain in my ass]

I have received many PM's from mongers asking me for my "secret" to success with providers. The Mario coin notwithstanding, there is no "secret". Instead of answering, individually, the dozens of PM's I've received regarding this subject, I thought it would be incumbent upon me to simply post this letter to the Board / Massage / Rub forum, in an attempt to assist my brothers in their eternal search for soft, feminine, succulent "quiff". I can't speak for SW's as I never see them, or Escorts, as I don't see escorts either. This business model / marketing strategy applies mainly to cats that see LMT's and Rub chicks. Of course, you older, experienced hobbyists, already know what I am about to say. So you guys need not read any further than this sentence.

You younger and less experienced cats, listen up: I honestly cannot tell you how many providers have told me how they were "sickened" by guys whose "manscaping" skills were, shall we say, less than exemplary. NOTHING turns a provider off more than a guy with body odor. NOTHING. I have heard stories from providers about guys that, have "ass sweat", "nut sweat", "toilet paper" in their ass crack (yes, USED toilet paper! Dingleberry's, dingleberry's, dingleberry's all the way" (Oh, what fun it is to ride, oh never mind. I'm just in the Christmas spirit! In their ass hair, "body sweat", "disgusting nose hair", "ear hair" and the list goes on. Now, the Jag is sensitive to other cultures and their "manscaping" rules and I would never want to offend a fellow hobbyist who is from another country / foreign nationals / culturally different. But here in North America, in order to get pussy / BBBJ / CBJ from a "quality" provider, you better make sure you fucking "MANSCAPE". I promise you, a quality provider will shut you out, (like Sandy Koufax, circa 1963), if you are not exceptionally well groomed. I have heard from dozens of providers who tell me stories of clients, even good looking ones, that have despicable hygiene. The provider cannot get them out of the room quickly enough, coinage notwithstanding. You can look like Rock Hudson, Clint Walker, Tom Selleck, or, Tom Cruise. But if you don't shower / bath properly BEFORE you see a provider, don't expect any extras. But, some guys are just too fucking stupid to realize that hygiene is absolutely critical to their success rate. It does not matter if the chick is a "civilian", or, a Rub gal. Hygiene goes a long way in determining your success rate. Similarly, if a provider has a "hygiene" issue, I wouldn't expect a hobbyist to want to get close to her. And believe me; I have seen a few providers who have hygiene issues. I summarily refuse to see them again.

Think about it: You begin to finger blast a chick during foreplay, and out comes a "cheesy" substance, or, you detect an aroma better suited for the Hong Kong fish market. I don't know about you cats, but the Jag is "exiting stage left" at that point. True, that may be a bit of an overreaching example, if you will, but you cats get my drift, (or, is it a "whiff of quiff" So, as we move forward in our never ending quest for "quiff", please remember: 1. Shower thoroughly and completely prior to your appointment. That especially includes you "hairy" cats out there. Pay careful attention to your "crack" and "sac" areas. (You blue collar cats, I realize it is more difficult for you if you are seeing a provider on your lunch break, or, immediately after work before you go home to the Mrs. But, at least do the best you can, ok? Do NOT spray cologne over your body odor. It will only make it worse. You are better off stopping at a 7-11 and washing your man parts in the bathroom. Bring a change of underwear if possible and hide it in your lunch box. If the Mrs. Packs your lunch for you, hide your "monger" skivvies in your tool kit or utility belt).2. Avoid wearing: Sweats, ball caps, flip flops, dirty and smelly sneakers, tank tops, old tee shirts, etc. For those gents that can, try to wear a decent button down dress shirt, kakis', dress socks and business casual shoes. Remember, the providers are "sizing you up" the minute you walk through the door. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression, as they say. You don't have to walk in wearing a "Brioni', or, "Zegna" suit in order to get laid. Just dress nicely and look neat and clean. 3. Wear "lightly" scented cologne. You want the provider to "gag" on your cock, not on the scent of your cologne. 4. Cats with facial hair: Be neatly trimmed and free of food, toilet paper, mucosal droppings, etc. Inspect your facial hair carefully PRIOR to entering the studio / rub joint. 5. Walk into the studio with confidence, not arrogance. Don't look like you're a fucking tourist, lost, or, a newbie. And ALWAYS be a gentleman to the ladies. All women love a real gentleman and being a true gentleman is a real turn on for them. Never, ever grab or grope a gal. NEVER. They fucking hate it when a guy does that. Always ask permission before you touch a provider, otherwise they may ask you to leave. The Jag has even sent / brought flowers to a studio before. That's right mother fuckers; the Jag is a romanticist at heart. (I may have just blown my cover at a few places, but, oh well).

Gents, feel free to add anything, as this is just a general guide to assist you in your hobbying efforts. These tenets on hygiene have enabled me to achieve a remarkable "closing percentage", worthy of Mariano Rivera and Michael Jordan, during my 11 years of hobbying.

I wish you all great success.

Merry Christmas, fellas.

I'm out.

JaguarXF.

[Member #4882]

Yes SoloTraveler and they are not advertising in sex forms. They are advertising in legit massage business ads. We as hobbyist do not want our private info exposed in a public forum and when we post about them here we totally expose them.

Sabrina,

I am a client of yours and enjoy your personality and service. In my opinion, you are one of the tops providers in the Orlando area. You are easy to contact, your place is conveniently located, your service is exceptionally sensual and fullfilling and you are affordably priced.

The girl who objected to being reviewed on this site is not a prostitute. She is a professional, licensed massage therapists. She is not in the same business as you are and it makes sense that she would not want her name mentioned here.

[FloridaBum]

Sabrina,

I am a client of yours and enjoy your personality and service. In my opinion, you are one of the tops providers in the Orlando area. You are easy to contact, your place is conveniently located, your service is exceptionally sensual and fullfilling and you are affordably priced.

The girl who objected to being reviewed on this site is not a prostitute. She is a professional, licensed massage therapists. She is not in the same business as you are and it makes sense that she would not want her name mentioned here.

Hi there, It's Sabrina and I've been reading these posts. I wanted to give my two cents to this conversation as a provider. I never ask ahead of time before my appointments with you dreamers. I might ask during my session where you've heard of me (so I can give credit where its due) and I don't mind being mentioned on here, I'm flattered... I'm sorry if another girl on here is offended or anything by a post / review. Maybe you shouldn't be in this business if you feel offended by the reviews and "threaten" to sue people. Anyways... I had to get this out of my system because it bothered me and I don't want some immature girls on here messing up things for us other "dream girls". Happy Dreaming and Happy Holidays Dreamers!

[FloridaBum]

From Dec 12th to Dec 19th, there were about 30 prostitution arrests in Osceola County.

Of those, 5 were from various AMP's and 2 were guys dressed as girls.

Several familiar faces.

Not a Polk County style dragnet, but definitley more heat on the hobby.

Be careful.

What you don't read. Checked two sites and there were a total of 4 arrests in as many days. Hardly a dragnet.

However, I wouldn't take a check from anyone in Osceola County or leave your possessions or car unattended.

[Exec Talent]

Go take a look at the arrest reports on the osceola jails website Everyone with game is laying low and mbi is on the move in orlando.

What you don't read. Checked two sites and there were a total of 4 arrests in as many days. Hardly a dragnet.

However, I wouldn't take a check from anyone in Osceola County or leave your possessions or car unattended.