"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[HollywoodGuy]

This is a tough discussion and somewhat divisive, but I think it's actually a good discussion to have. We get to see each other's perspective and maybe even re-evaluate our own decisions.

I am scared straight for today. When you"re an addict, it's one day at a time. Today I have a date with my live in. Then I will just work till bedtime. This really is not a joke and I know I am in denial most of the time.

One of my X's got HSV 1 about a year ago. She has a BF, a SD and a sugar couple. They all know she has this and continue to see her. I know she is addicted to kissing and giving oral. I will not see her for any reason. But all this talk is making me uneasy.

Just got txted by a HYM. I know there will be at least kissing and maybe more on the m&g tomorrow.

[John G Smith]

Guys. If you're worried about the risks. Then don't play the game.

Yes condoms reduce the risk of many things, but they aren't 100% effective against HSV-1/2, HPV, and molluscum (not just for kids) etc. If you love DATY or BBBJ, then other STD's come into play as well.

If you're worried about a SO or a spouse, then there is no 100% way to keep them safe. Period. You can do risk management, and using condoms is a significant part of that plan. However, don't think just because you're using condoms your not taking risks.

Exactly. If you're extremely worried about your SO catching something, you shouldn't play the game. You can catch certain STDs by receiving and giving oral and as well as with deep french kissing. Just about everyone here engages in heavy kissing with their SB, so you're technically putting yourself at risk to certain types of STDs, which can be passed to your SO. Simply saddling up for intercourse doesn't absolve you from these risks and morally you're still in the same boat as the rest of us because the risk is there even if it's reduced.

This is a tough discussion and somewhat divisive, but I think it's actually a good discussion to have. We get to see each other's perspective and maybe even re-evaluate our own decisions.

For me, I don't think this lifestyle is for everyone. If you're happily married and you're still planning to have kids, you should probably enter the Sugar Bowl draft at a later time. What happened to Joe was very unfortunate and I feel for him. What made his situation especially difficult was that he and his SO were still planning to have kids. So contracting an STD in that situation is very very serious since there's many implications.

Likewise if you have a happy marriage and you don't want to put it at risk whatsoever, you have to understand every single day in the Sugar Bowl you're rolling the dice on your marriage regardless if you catch a STD or not. For example, Alias left a condom lying around, I left a hotel card in my pants, and F Scott left his Sugar phone in plain sight of his SO. All of this in just the last couple of weeks. These things had no nothing to do with practicing safe sex and yet things still came very close for things to come crashing down for us. The fact is, the longer you play this game, the greater the risk, the greater likelihood your marriage will end or change forever. I'd argue it's not a matter of "If", it's "When".

In my situation at least, I already have kids and there are zero plans for future kids. So if worst case she gets a STD, she'll just take the same antibiotics as me but it won't affect her having kids. Also, our marriage is not in great shape so if we divorce, it's not the end of the world for me. Yes, I'd like to avoid one right now due to financial implications and the kids, but I'm probably subconscious trying to get a divorce because I'm keenly aware that a healthy marriage is completely incompatible and unsustainable with the Sugar Lifestyle over the long-term. Especially with how aggressive many guys here play the sugar game with 4-7 SBs and Booty Calls at a given time, you're kidding yourself if you think you'll be happily married 10 years from now. If some of us still manage to post on this board 10 years from now, I guarantee only 10-20% of us will still be married and of that remaining percent, those marriages will have been drastically altered (getting caught, reconciling, no more trust, and etc).

I've always assumed that if you're in this lifestyle, a part of you willing to let your marriage end or go to shit. If you just maintain one SB and you keep your time and money with her fairly modest, then maybe you can still maintain a happy marriage. But anyone who plays this game aggressively or develops emotional involvement should not fool themselves. Your marriage can and will end as you know it at any moment regardless if you put a condom on or not. This whole lifestyle is an act of risky insane and reckless behavior. Calculating our risks simply delays with various degrees of success the inevitable conclusion.

[HollywoodGuy]

How about a Phillipina manage my sexual needs? $ 1 / hr sounds pretty daggone good!

My live in Pinay does OK by me. LMFAO. But seriously. I have managed a few SB's accounts. Great insight. If those guys knew they were messaging me I don't think they would have been too happy. Hope it was none of you. Not likely as I live in L. A.

UPDATE

This month I stuck to my 3 SB's like glue.

MILF. All we do is fuck. So not much to talk about. Been together almost 2 years.

Live In. Pinay Mistress. I,m her personal slave. But we have a lot of fun. 9 months so far but she was talking about moving possibly : (

Teen Stripper. Almost 5 months so far. Today a wannabe pot SD spent $$$$$ on her and got the pleasure of her platonic company. Better him than me.

To comment on the STD discussion. I will admit to being reckless in the past, but it's been a relief knowing I don"t have to be tested right now. I only have safe sex with my live in and the other two are exclusive to me for now.

[Hernando]

Does anyone have an assistant "manage" their sugar babies? (onsite / email / SMS). You can find people from the Philippines to work part time for $1 an hour; we use them at our company for admin work including customer service, and many people use them as personal assistants too.

How about a Phillipina manage my sexual needs? $ 1 / hr sounds pretty daggone good!

[Wnde8]

Does anyone have an assistant "manage" their sugar babies? (onsite / email / SMS). You can find people from the Philippines to work part time for $1 an hour; we use them at our company for admin work including customer service, and many people use them as personal assistants too.

[BikeRider]

Brothers,

I think you all are missing the point, but maybe I'm the one who's not getting it. It is not only the STD one has to worry about, it is the possibility of passing it along to your wife / SO, and what I imagine will be the conversation that starts the End Of The World!

Whether one can live a reasonable life with AIDS or not, or how easy the treatment for these other scary diseases is, how do you tell your wife / children / inlaws / friends / colleagues how you got it? And no one believes it comes from toilet seats, Nando!

In the end, this may just be one of those topics, like politics or religion, where it is best to let things drop. I will continue to play it safe, and I hope never to read a post like Joe's on this thread ever again. Ask him if he would have done things differently and I bet the answer will be a resounding "yes"!

Peace,

Scott

Guys. If you're worried about the risks. Then don't play the game.

Yes condoms reduce the risk of many things, but they aren't 100% effective against HSV-1/2, HPV, and molluscum (not just for kids) etc. If you love DATY or BBBJ, then other STD's come into play as well.

If you're worried about a SO or a spouse, then there is no 100% way to keep them safe. Period. You can do risk management, and using condoms is a significant part of that plan. However, don't think just because you're using condoms your not taking risks.

Also- Plan B is essentially a 'Hail Mary'. Plan B's efficacy is 87. Compare that to withdrawal used effectively at 96% and condoms at 98% and you'll see what I mean. Over the years, I've only had to girl friends (before I was married) have to use Plan B. The first was an incredibly hot Korean MILF in LA who wouldn't agree to a condom. She didn't tell me until after I came that she wasn't on BC. The lesson I learned that night was that you always have the "talk" before going bare.

The talk involves two very important subjects. One. Are you on BC. Two. If you become pregnant will you have an abortion. The answers help me do risk management even though I use condoms.

[F Scott]

HIV and Hepatitis C.

Even nowadays HIV is manageable for a normal lifespan (see Magic Johnson) Hep B and C can become chronic and destroy your liver (death) but has successful therapies if diagnosed quickly.

ALL others are totally treatable and manageable. So you get Herpes? Cry me a river. I know bringing home an STD is hard to explain to the SO. You might prepare an explanation to give the SO if you get one (like oooh, my cubicle mate was using the same toilet I use and came down with all the STDs. Honey, should I take antibiotics to be safe?)

Herpes = sores for days to a few weeks. Inconvenient but not life threatening.

HPV (warts) = bumps that are treatable

HPV (carcinogenic) oral and pharyngeal cancers due to the virus (see Michael Douglas 'pubic service announcement) Yes, scary but get regular dental and oral checkups and don't do oral sex hahaha Seriously, dental dams might help but if you think condoms are a downer,

Gonorrhea =antibiotic shot and pill for one day

Chlamydia =antibiotic for a day.

Syphilis= rare but Penicillin shot.

Trichomonas = antibiotics for a day

Brothers,

I think you all are missing the point, but maybe I'm the one who's not getting it. It is not only the STD one has to worry about, it is the possibility of passing it along to your wife / SO, and what I imagine will be the conversation that starts the End Of The World!

Whether one can live a reasonable life with AIDS or not, or how easy the treatment for these other scary diseases is, how do you tell your wife / children / inlaws / friends / colleagues how you got it? And no one believes it comes from toilet seats, Nando!

In the end, this may just be one of those topics, like politics or religion, where it is best to let things drop. I will continue to play it safe, and I hope never to read a post like Joe's on this thread ever again. Ask him if he would have done things differently and I bet the answer will be a resounding "yes"!

Peace,

Scott

[ChiGuy606]

So you get Herpes? Cry me a river. I know bringing home an STD is hard to explain to the SO. You might prepare an explanation to give the SO if you get one (like oooh, my cubicle mate was using the same toilet I use and came down with all the STDs. Honey, should I take antibiotics to be safe?)

Nandoman,

To each his own, but if I were a non-married player in this game my attitudes would probably be a lot different.

As it stands, the thought of bringing home 'the gift that keeps on giving' to my SO, especially considering she is an UNWILLING PARTICIPANT in my activites is a moral-line I just cannot cross.

I honestly do not think there is any excuse I can come up with as to why Mr Happy is covered in infectious sores that she'd buy. And even if she did believe whatever I told her, no excuse would make good the fact that she may have been exposed as well (assuming of course one does actually get sex at home. Miracles are known to happen!).

[Hernando]

HIV and Hepatitis C.

Even nowadays HIV is manageable for a normal lifespan (see Magic Johnson) Hep B and C can become chronic and destroy your liver (death) but has successful therapies if diagnosed quickly.

ALL others are totally treatable and manageable. So you get Herpes? Cry me a river. I know bringing home an STD is hard to explain to the SO. You might prepare an explanation to give the SO if you get one (like oooh, my cubicle mate was using the same toilet I use and came down with all the STDs. Honey, should I take antibiotics to be safe?)

Herpes = sores for days to a few weeks. Inconvenient but not life threatening.

HPV (warts) = bumps that are treatable

HPV (carcinogenic) oral and pharyngeal cancers due to the virus (see Michael Douglas 'pubic service announcement) Yes, scary but get regular dental and oral checkups and don't do oral sex hahaha Seriously, dental dams might help but if you think condoms are a downer,

Gonorrhea =antibiotic shot and pill for one day

Chlamydia =antibiotic for a day

Syphilis= rare but Penicillin shot.

Trichomonas = antibiotics for a day

[ChiGuy606]

Just so no one forgets.

Gentlemen,

I've thought long and hard over the last few days about whether to post this or not, and I eventually decided that maybe my story will do someone else here some good. Maybe it will serve as a wake up call.

I just found out that my 18yo HYB is positive for genital herpes (HSV-2).

I also found out that I have HSV-2 as well.

I won't get into all the details, because they are largely irrelevant. But I will say that I am a smart guy who did some very stupid things. I hope and pray that nobody else is doing the dumb things I've done, or if they are, at least they're doing them knowingly and with full understanding of ALL of the risks.

I last saw HYB almost two weeks ago. We were both feeling a bit under the weather; me with a cold, her with a sore throat. We went to the movies, but one thing led to another, the little head took over all thinking duties, and we ended up at a hotel. To make matters worse, I entered her without a condom. I did not finish, but it is what it is.

Over the next few days, we each felt progressively worse. My doctor did a throat culture, and that's how they found it in me. The pubic bumps and sores appeared shortly thereafter. They gave me an anti-viral medication, which speeds the healing, and I have a follow-up visit tomorrow to discuss long-term therapy.

HYB was oblivious. She says she does not have obvious sores, so they never tested her for it. At my insistence, we did anonymous testing through www.tstd.org Yesterday at a local lab. The results returned today.

I believe HYB contracted it from her other SD, because she finally confessed yesterday that she's been barebacking him for months. By coincidence, I had a negative test on September 13, which leaves only two other potential partners, both of whom I now have little reason to suspect. Plus, I was protected with each of them (aside from oral).

HSV-2 is a virus that has no cure. I will be stuck with this my entire life. It can be suppressed, to varying degrees, and outbreaks controlled with medication. But I always risk passing it on whenever I have unprotected sex. Although the risk of transmission is relatively low when there is no outbreak, the risk remains. The risk is also very low, but again not zero, for unprotected oral.

There is a high likelihood that this one terrible decision will ruin my marriage as well. I am currently working through how and when to tell my wife. I've decided she needs to know soon, as we were considering children in the next year or two. I will be lucky if she even considers keeping me around. (Thanks to the confidential brother who has been guiding me through all this.)

I know that in the interest of brevity I've created many gaps in the story and that you may have questions. I'll be honest in saying that I don't know if I will be able (or will want) to answer them all. You can post them here or PM me. Needless to say, my days in the sugar bowl are done.

All I can say is that I hope this is an eye-opener for some of you.

Regards,

Joe

[John G Smith]

Spartak,

I suppose I will agree to disagree with all you cowboys out there who ride without a saddle, but any buckaroos in the Chicago area, please pm me the profile numbers of your babies so I can steer clear.

I understand your perspective, but I'm not sure what exactly that would accomplish. You think if we bareback a SB in the Chicago area, you're in more danger? Regardless what we do with her, she could very well be barebacking her boyfriend / husband / lover / co-worker. Whether we saddle up or not with a SB, really shouldn't give you any more or less comfort. If you want any real peace of mind just always wear a cover (which you do) and have her tested regularly. Claiming some of us are putting you in danger is naive and misplaced blame. The real risk is from the girl herself. You have to understand her protection habits, her lifestyle, and have her tested. Just because no one has sent you a profile number of a particular SB in Chicago does not make her any less likely to have a STD or not practice BB in her personal life.

[Revvo]

Here is one that took me. Won't give out the details because she may be lurking out there. But suffice it to say she is clever and you have been warned.

Profile says NC but she works Florida and appears to be moving around.

http://www.sugardaddyforme.com/?page...e&pmid=3505948

Revvo

[F Scott]

Spartak,

I certainly understand the issue of risk, and agree that there are levels which we all decide for ourselves we can manage. But this just seems like hubris to me, plain and simple.

Have we so soon forgotten the sad story of our brother Joesparty? In my day, stds were called the gift that keeps on giving, and that seems just as relevant today.

I suppose I will agree to disagree with all you cowboys out there who ride without a saddle, but any buckaroos in the Chicago area, please pm me the profile numbers of your babies so I can steer clear.

Scott

[Spartak]

In this day and age, bb just seems like a game of Russian Roulette, but with your dick.

I agree. But life is all about choosing a course with varying degrees of risk. And this is exactly why I've chosen the sb / sd route. Certainly a lesser amount of risk here than with an AMP / Stripper / Escort.

[F Scott]

In this day and age, bb just seems like a game of Russian Roulette, but with your dick. Same potentially lethal outcome, though.

Just not getting it,

Scott