"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Hernando]

OMG, I had to come back for this. I think we should take up a collection for this poor soul. I'm in.

[Hernando]

" My only point is to be aware that the Babies are different for whatever reason, which makes it even more difficult to find what a lot of guys, me included, are looking for." MagicRat

So true. I think the competition is stronger since there is so much in the media about the hobby. It also takes a lot more guts / risk taking to walk on the escort side because of LE, perceived STD risks, and societal disapproval. SB pursuit can be thought of as having a GF / affair by some. (even though it is still prostitution) As long as there are money pressures these girls of all walks of life will sell themselves to the highest bidder. After all, their product is in the most demand of all, except maybe Redskin tickets.

[Mr Strict]

Was doing a little browsing of SD4me today. I'll just leave this right here.

3497343

[Magic Rat]

Hernando, I don't think you've lost your mojo, I think the pool of Babies is different from what it was when we first started this little pastime. Back in the early days, my success rate at hitting the FC at the first meeting was at least 75%. Hell now I get stood up half the time it seems like! It's almost like the Babies are just playing at being Babies and are not really serious, unless they can find an idiot who will pay them just to have dinner. Keep in mind, most of us that post on here have been around the block a time or two and have been successful at bedding Babies regularly, so we aren't novices at this. I've let my SA membership lapse and, to be honest, it has been a welcome respite from the chase. My only point is to be aware that the Babies are different for whatever reason, which makes it even more difficult to find what a lot of guys, me included, are looking for.

[WoodSlinger]

Priceless!

Nice idea FScott. My contribution.

Green Flags

Looking to be discreet = I'm married / involved or live at home. High probability of FC fun.

I'll take care of your needs = I'll have sex with you.

Just looking with help for bills = I'm low maintenance. I don't care about pampering and shopping trips. Just give me enough to cover my phone and car payment regularly.

I'm open minded = I don't care that you're married or involved. I'll take your money regardless.

I'm looking for a reliable / steady sugar daddy = I've had a bunch of one night stands and flake / fake SDs, so I'm willing to compromise on the allowance if it's reliable.

Red Flags

I'm currently not in school and I'm looking for work = I'm going to be totally dependent on you.

I'm not an escort = I won't sleep with you. I'm an arm-candy girl only.

Pro Flags

What donation will you give me? = I'm such a PRO that I'm not eve going to bother using Sugar-lingo.

If I'm going to stay that long, I'm going to need more = I'm used to charging by the quarter hour.

Hi Hun / Hi Honey = I'm going to call you what I call my Johns.

Let's meet! (even though I haven't seen your picture) = I'm used to meeting complete strangers sight unseen.

Are you affiliated with law enforcement = I'm on parole, so I have to be careful.

[John G Smith]

Nice idea FScott. My contribution.

Green Flags

Looking to be discreet = I'm married / involved or live at home. High probability of FC fun.

I'll take care of your needs = I'll have sex with you.

Just looking with help for bills = I'm low maintenance. I don't care about pampering and shopping trips. Just give me enough to cover my phone and car payment regularly.

I'm open minded = I don't care that you're married or involved. I'll take your money regardless.

I'm looking for a reliable / steady sugar daddy = I've had a bunch of one night stands and flake / fake SDs, so I'm willing to compromise on the allowance if it's reliable.

Red Flags

I'm currently not in school and I'm looking for work = I'm going to be totally dependent on you.

I'm not an escort = I won't sleep with you. I'm an arm-candy girl only.

Pro Flags

What donation will you give me? = I'm such a PRO that I'm not eve going to bother using Sugar-lingo.

If I'm going to stay that long, I'm going to need more = I'm used to charging by the quarter hour.

Hi Hun / Hi Honey = I'm going to call you what I call my Johns.

Let's meet! (even though I haven't seen your picture) = I'm used to meeting complete strangers sight unseen.

Are you affiliated with law enforcement = I'm on parole, so I have to be careful.

[Hernando]

All of the Pots I have lined up for meets have flaked out. I have temporarily lost my mojo it seems and I feel like a newbie all over again. I signed up for SA today and there is certainly a lot more material and seemingly a higher quality of SB? I even got desperate and tried to hook up with an AM 51 yr old and I couldn't even bag this old lady.

Hey Scott, maybe we should trade ATFs? Geographically it might not work out though.

The funniest bon mot I heard in person was during a one hour appointment with an escort. I was lasting 30 minutes of aerobic activity when she pushed me off of her, sat up and said " what do you think I am? A fucking machine?" Well, yeah, I do. These girls who are not into sex but only want the payday want to get us off as quickly as possible.

[John G Smith]

I don't have much to add to what F Scott and Zomby said, but I wish you luck in proceeding forward. Even though you're moving on, I'll still consider you a brother in the sugar bowl. I appreciate you sharing your experience publicly. It's a reminder to all of us that the risks we take, are real Risks. They're not just risks that happen to "other people". They're risks that can happen to "you".

Now many of us may continue to take certain risks. But we now can't claim we were never given a warning.

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

A while back there was a brief flurry of posts regarding things to watch out for in terms of babies who weren't really with the program, intimacy-wise. I'd like to add a few observations of my own, from my recent experiences, and perhaps we could compile a phrase book of Babyspeak, and its translations, that would help us all in figuring out what to avoid, both for babies who have no intentions of visiting the FC, and those who perhaps are a tad too comfortable there.

Looking for a gentleman = keep your hands to yourself.

Just seeing what's out there = I have no intention of putting out.

Treat me like a princess = I have a severe case of GPS.

I'll treat you like a king = yeah, right.

Just looking to have fun = you're not getting any.

Looking for a special mentor = you're not getting any.

I will post more as I run across them, but I am also beginning to suspect that to some babies,"NSA" means No Sex Allowed!

Feel free to add yours, my brothers, and keep up the good work. If it were easy they'd be called "escorts."

Scott

[F Scott]

Joe,

Let me join Zomby in wishing you the best of luck and fortune, whatever that my look like, as you work through this. Thank you for your courage in sharing it publicly as well. Not to start spouting platitudes, but I have learned over the past 5 years or so as I struggled with an issue with one of my daughters that nothing in life is constant except change. The bleakest, darkest situation can improve, and while you may never be able to put things back the way they were, that does not mean that you won't be able to construct something new.

Good luck again, and thank you.

Scott

[Zomby]

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

Let me publicly wish you the best fortune you can make of it. Take care.

/z

[JoesParty]

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

I think I should clarify something, based on a couple private questions I've received. I don't know for certain how I was infected, though I do know by whom. I had both unprotected oral (receiving and giving) and BBFS. I know most of us avoid the latter but partake in the former. My outbreaks were in both the throat and pubic areas. So although chances of getting herpes (or other STDs) are lower via oral, it is not impossible. My doctor believes the oral infection (still technically genital herpes) was from giving oral. Herpes almost never (some docs will say it can't ever) auto-inoculate. In other words, you have outbreaks in the area (s) where you were infected. The scary thing is that my partner didn't have any outward signs of an outbreak or infection.

I just want everyone to make informed choices. I judge no man for the risks he takes, as I've obviously taken my own. I will forever live with these consequences, though.

Sorry if I've brought down the mood. I think that's it for me now. Stay safe.

[Hercules78]

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

Do you think one needs to wrap up for BJ also. I always have sex w condom but I usually have BBBJ.

[JoesParty]

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

[Kyowa]

Bear in mind that these comments are from one who's experience in this is limited to one person, albeit over a longer period of time. So take that for what it's worth. I don't think it's completely fair to say that everyone's time is wasted. It absolutely is a waste of your time, and would be of mine if I was yet in search mode on this one. However, a compensated non-sexual relationship is certainly a legitimate goal, and there are guys out there who want exactly that, however ludicrous most, if not all, the posters on this particular forum would find such a thing.

Just had to comment on an ongoing discussion here; I'm not into the sugar-bowl myself: but I cetainly enjoy reading this forum; I'm, like my regional compatriot Zomby, a life-long (40years) veteran of the stripper-scene in various areas of IA, IL, IN, KY, & TN. I've also been active, over more than 25 years, with a'm'p's & nonAsian e'm'p's & escorts in Cedar Rapids (IA) Paris & Nashville & Memphis (TN) Lexington & Louisville & Paducah (KY) & S't Louis (MO) & I've seen the vary same behaviors & mind-set from guys who are show-club "regulars" + I've heard stories from escorts whom I've spent "non-energetic-activity" time with; so I must say that I totally agree with Zomby on his contention following here-in:

I think you're overestimating the degree of willingness to strive for as much as they can get among those in that segment of the male population that do this sort of thing. Sure, most may hope for more than arm-candy, but many of them don't have the confidence, or risk tolerance, to pursue more. I don't want to harp on strip clubs, but I've watched a lot of customers in those clubs pay a lot of money to do nothing but sit and talk with these women, including women who I know from direct experience are willing to do a lot more than talk. These same men will often either become upset at the suggestion that their favorite girl is a thinly disguised prostitute, or be unwilling to take the next step in availing themselves of those services for a number of reasons, whether that be fear of spousal reprisal, contracting disease, law enforcement, social stigmata, etc. The set of men who go to strip clubs for sex is not, in my experience, very representative of the set of men who go to strip clubs regularly. It seems well within the realm of possibility, not far-fetched at all, that the same factor applies to sugar daddies.

/z