"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**John G Smith** · 10-25-12 20:07

I don't have much to add to what F Scott and Zomby said, but I wish you luck in proceeding forward. Even though you're moving on, I'll still consider you a brother in the sugar bowl. I appreciate you sharing your experience publicly. It's a reminder to all of us that the risks we take, are real Risks. They're not just risks that happen to "other people". They're risks that can happen to "you".

Now many of us may continue to take certain risks. But we now can't claim we were never given a warning.

**F Scott** · 10-25-12 17:43

Gentlemen,

A while back there was a brief flurry of posts regarding things to watch out for in terms of babies who weren't really with the program, intimacy-wise. I'd like to add a few observations of my own, from my recent experiences, and perhaps we could compile a phrase book of Babyspeak, and its translations, that would help us all in figuring out what to avoid, both for babies who have no intentions of visiting the FC, and those who perhaps are a tad too comfortable there.

Looking for a gentleman = keep your hands to yourself.

Just seeing what's out there = I have no intention of putting out.

Treat me like a princess = I have a severe case of GPS.

I'll treat you like a king = yeah, right.

Just looking to have fun = you're not getting any.

Looking for a special mentor = you're not getting any.

I will post more as I run across them, but I am also beginning to suspect that to some babies,"NSA" means No Sex Allowed!

Feel free to add yours, my brothers, and keep up the good work. If it were easy they'd be called "escorts."

Scott

**F Scott** · 10-25-12 11:26

Joe,

Let me join Zomby in wishing you the best of luck and fortune, whatever that my look like, as you work through this. Thank you for your courage in sharing it publicly as well. Not to start spouting platitudes, but I have learned over the past 5 years or so as I struggled with an issue with one of my daughters that nothing in life is constant except change. The bleakest, darkest situation can improve, and while you may never be able to put things back the way they were, that does not mean that you won't be able to construct something new.

Good luck again, and thank you.

Scott

**Zomby** · 10-24-12 18:36

Originally Posted by JoesParty [View Original Post]

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

Let me publicly wish you the best fortune you can make of it. Take care.

/z

**JoesParty** · 10-24-12 16:05

Originally Posted by JoesParty [View Original Post]

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

I think I should clarify something, based on a couple private questions I've received. I don't know for certain how I was infected, though I do know by whom. I had both unprotected oral (receiving and giving) and BBFS. I know most of us avoid the latter but partake in the former. My outbreaks were in both the throat and pubic areas. So although chances of getting herpes (or other STDs) are lower via oral, it is not impossible. My doctor believes the oral infection (still technically genital herpes) was from giving oral. Herpes almost never (some docs will say it can't ever) auto-inoculate. In other words, you have outbreaks in the area (s) where you were infected. The scary thing is that my partner didn't have any outward signs of an outbreak or infection.

I just want everyone to make informed choices. I judge no man for the risks he takes, as I've obviously taken my own. I will forever live with these consequences, though.

Sorry if I've brought down the mood. I think that's it for me now. Stay safe.

**Hercules78** · 10-24-12 14:13

Originally Posted by JoesParty [View Original Post]

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

Do you think one needs to wrap up for BJ also. I always have sex w condom but I usually have BBBJ.

**JoesParty** · 10-24-12 11:11

Gentlemen,

I've only been around a few months, even if it feels like forever. I just wanted to post one final follow-up and to say goodbye.

I told my wife Monday night about my recent herpes diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I decided I had a marriage worth saving, and in order to do so, I had to come clean.

She was (and still is) understandably upset. Yet she has not kicked me out and seems willing to work with me, one day at a time, to repair the damage in our lives.

I did not tell her all the dirty details, as doing so would serve no purpose other than to hurt her even more. Still, I have exposure should she ever find out the true extent of my cheating. So I'm not yet out of the woods, and I offer these final two take-aways:

ALWAYS wrap it up, guys. If you are sleeping with multiple women, at least one of whom you love and cannot imagine life without, please do not risk your health and hers by going bare. If only I'd accepted my own advice.

If you need to hide your activities from anyone else, NEVER use a credit card for anything. Toward the end, I started getting sloppy and used my card for hotel stays. If my wife finds these charges, I am toast for sure.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. None of these ideas are new, really. But I wanted to take one last opportunity to remind everyone that there can be severe consequences when we let down our guard.

Thank you all for your support, especially all of you who contacted me privately. Please take care and be safe.

Joe

**Kyowa** · 10-24-12 01:58

Originally Posted by Zomby [View Original Post]

Bear in mind that these comments are from one who's experience in this is limited to one person, albeit over a longer period of time. So take that for what it's worth. I don't think it's completely fair to say that everyone's time is wasted. It absolutely is a waste of your time, and would be of mine if I was yet in search mode on this one. However, a compensated non-sexual relationship is certainly a legitimate goal, and there are guys out there who want exactly that, however ludicrous most, if not all, the posters on this particular forum would find such a thing.

Just had to comment on an ongoing discussion here; I'm not into the sugar-bowl myself: but I cetainly enjoy reading this forum; I'm, like my regional compatriot Zomby, a life-long (40years) veteran of the stripper-scene in various areas of IA, IL, IN, KY, & TN. I've also been active, over more than 25 years, with a'm'p's & nonAsian e'm'p's & escorts in Cedar Rapids (IA) Paris & Nashville & Memphis (TN) Lexington & Louisville & Paducah (KY) & S't Louis (MO) & I've seen the vary same behaviors & mind-set from guys who are show-club "regulars" + I've heard stories from escorts whom I've spent "non-energetic-activity" time with; so I must say that I totally agree with Zomby on his contention following here-in:

Originally Posted by Zomby [View Original Post]

I think you're overestimating the degree of willingness to strive for as much as they can get among those in that segment of the male population that do this sort of thing. Sure, most may hope for more than arm-candy, but many of them don't have the confidence, or risk tolerance, to pursue more. I don't want to harp on strip clubs, but I've watched a lot of customers in those clubs pay a lot of money to do nothing but sit and talk with these women, including women who I know from direct experience are willing to do a lot more than talk. These same men will often either become upset at the suggestion that their favorite girl is a thinly disguised prostitute, or be unwilling to take the next step in availing themselves of those services for a number of reasons, whether that be fear of spousal reprisal, contracting disease, law enforcement, social stigmata, etc. The set of men who go to strip clubs for sex is not, in my experience, very representative of the set of men who go to strip clubs regularly. It seems well within the realm of possibility, not far-fetched at all, that the same factor applies to sugar daddies.

/z

**SubCmdr** · 10-24-12 00:01

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

In this pursuit it is ill advised to get emotionally attached (listen hard Commander ). This feeling has affected my judgement.

Gentlemen,

The Cmdr has fallen so hard for his West Coast ATF that currently while on the east coast he has four SB's waiting to get on the fuck schedule. But currently is too busy with work and life stuff to fit them in. My apologies if this sounds like bragging.

I am polyamorous. That means I can love my Wife, ATF1, ATF2 & ATF3. And still retain the ability to function while pounding each and everyone one of them into the mattress. It is simply a matter of scheduling. ATF1 gets first shot at my time and sugar, then ATF2, then ATF3.

Expand your mind Gentlemen. And everything else will too.

SubCmdr Out

**Hernando** · 10-23-12 22:46

Thank you my brothers for the wise advice and support. Here I am crying like a little baby but I did fall a little too hard. In this pursuit it is ill advised to get emotionally attached (listen hard Commander ). This feeling has affected my judgement. But as I said I think the discovery that she was out looking again has allowed me to move on, so I will. This will free up the block in my psyche that is keeping me from scoring a new SB, so on with the show!

**WoodSlinger** · 10-23-12 21:48

My friend, you have a connection to her that you need to let go of. Simply put, once you move on, find a suitable replacement your outlook will change.

She is going to replace you. You provided something she needed, the sugar. If the sex was good, Bonus! Your wife contacted her? She's done with you and it is seriously time to move on.

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

Well, I have finally hit bottom with my ATF SB.

I found her on SA advertizing her wares. She was on for only 2 1/2 weeks, so I suspect she landed a Daddy in that brief time. I would like to see if anyone out there has encountered her but I'm not sure I'm ready to out her. Besides, if one of you is seeing her you wouldn't admit it anyway while things are good. I do wish her well but I hate it that she is prostituting herself. It's tough when you care about someone. It puts the whole meaning on a different level. I guess this will finally let me let go of her since I was thinking she was out there still pining away for me. NOT! She is banging another guy for an allowance.

**Zomby** · 10-23-12 20:37

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

It puts the whole meaning on a different level. I guess this will finally let me let go of her since I was thinking she was out there still pining away for me. NOT! She is banging another guy for an allowance.

Perhaps this really will let you put her behind you. Also, look at it from her perspective, she was verbally and emotionally attacked by your wife, something in my military days I would have referred to as a "shitstorm" of trouble, if I've read your previous accounts correctly, and I'm betting that there's no freaking way she wants to chance that again. The easiest way to do that is to avoid you. It may, I repeat "may", have been almost as hard for her as it was for you, but she's decided that she can't afford to let the possibility of it back in her life.

I thank the gods that my SB and I have never made any bones about the quid pro quo nature of our relationship. Yeah, she's getting good sex, or is faking it very well, and I'm getting some pillow talk with a "friend" and fun conversation about topics I can't cover with anybody else, but in the end, kits about the pussy for me and the money for her. I have no intention of leaving my family for her, and she has no desire to take me in if I did.

To be fair, however "perfect" she may be for me in this one area, or how good she sounds to the rest of you, she is far from perfect in any objective sense, nor more so than I, certainly. Neither one of us would make any sort of good, even halfway decent, life partner for the other, despite how good for each other we appear to be for sex.

The reality is that both your former, and my current, are, and were, prostituting themselves. I personally have no moral qualms about that, nor do I use the word as a perjorative, despite what others, and the law, might have to say on the matter. It's a simple fact.

Take care, my friend, and continue to post your feelings and experiences for as long as it helps you to do so. And if my, or any other post here fails to help you, I for one will not be offended if you ignore me. (:

/z

**Hernando** · 10-23-12 17:54

Well, I have finally hit bottom with my ATF SB.

I found her on SA advertizing her wares. She was on for only 2 1/2 weeks, so I suspect she landed a Daddy in that brief time. I would like to see if anyone out there has encountered her but I'm not sure I'm ready to out her. Besides, if one of you is seeing her you wouldn't admit it anyway while things are good. I do wish her well but I hate it that she is prostituting herself. It's tough when you care about someone. It puts the whole meaning on a different level. I guess this will finally let me let go of her since I was thinking she was out there still pining away for me. NOT! She is banging another guy for an allowance.

**F Scott** · 10-23-12 16:23

Originally Posted by Hercules78 [View Original Post]

Met a couple of sugar babies. One was willing to go as low as $50. Willing to do covered FS and BBBJ (no cim though). Would stay for a couple of hours and allow multi pops. But I didn't like her looks. Too shabby. Another one is willing to do couple of hours for 100, and another one, a nurse at a drug rehabilitation center who says she's good for doing everything for some compensation every now and then. She did not mention any amount. What do you think this third girl might be looking for? Would she feel offended if I gave her a 100 every now and then (would work out to around 50 per engagement). She's hot.

A little more info would be helpful with this post. What area of the country are you operating in? Are you sure you are not just in contact with SWs pretending to be babies as Nando has suggested?

As for what the third girl is looking for, I'd ask her, not us.

Scott

**F Scott** · 10-23-12 16:20

Originally Posted by Mr Strict [View Original Post]

If you are not willing to put in the time to even read the thread, you will certainly not enjoy the time and effort it takes to contact, cultivate and meet potential sugarbabies.

Things are beginning to loosen up for me, but it has taken me most of 4 months to get my game back on after the breakup with my ATF. As has been noted by others, there seem to be a lot of new babies who don't get that there is a physical aspect to the Bowl, which is a sine qua non for most of us, I believe. This plethora of self-described "arm candy" makes for a fair number of coffees that lead no where, but I also believe that the m&g is essential to determine if the baby knows what is expected and is down with that, is not some nut-case (which I have encountered more often than you might imagine) , and is in fact appealing to both brains, the large and the small.

It takes time to land these little fish, if they are anything above Nando 1s, but the rewards, as has been said by many, are substantial and worth the effort.

Keep up the good work, my brothers, and keep up the excellent posts.

Scott