"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Dog Rice]

Bros,

After on SA for 3 weeks or so, I got 7 M&Gs, and scored 2 SBs. One SB was in adult film industry for a while (27 hot blonde) , and another was an 18 black.

For 27 yrs old hot blonde, the experience was pretty good. Until. While she was BBBJ, I was saying "Want to come in your mouth". She responded w/"Not with $$.5". I completely lost my mood, and quickly done w / it, and get the hell out of there. She contacted me back, and I told her I am not interested. She is not that cheap, and I don't need such attitude while I can get a better service (and hot blonde) going w / Pro.

For 18 yrs old black, the experience was pretty good (again) until. After done w / the 1st round (deadfish experience) , she was dressing up in a lighting speed. And started playing with her phone. Although she is pretty cheap, is not fun. I expressed my frustration with her. She texted me back saying that she will make it up next time. I told her that I expect that she has passion and MSOG is expected. She responded back w/$$$$. I ignored her afterwards.

So far, all of the pots I M&G with are all about $, and not into real SB / SD experience. One pot was telling me,"I don't expect to have sex with you, and I expect each date to have $$$".

Still trying, but slow down quite a bit as Sugar Bowl is time consuming and the return is not great. (part of the fun). Pro is much easier

[Hernando]

Well, I've forgotten how much work this hobby is! I have been seriously spoiled by my ATF who friggin' deserted me in my finest hour. They are all fickle and skittish and are apt to bolt at the slightest sign of trouble. It is still unreal to me that as close as we were (or seemed to be) she totally cut off all contact in the blink of an eye. It just showed me that she was into the $$ and ease of the thing and not truly "in love " as I convinced myself that she was.

OK, so 2 M&Gs and no pussy.

The Asian I still feel that she is righteous and will put out this coming week when I see her. Score no $ but Hotel costs.

Tonight I met a pretty girl off SDFM who showed up for dinner and drinks and asked for a good faith deposit with a promise to meet this Sunday. Did I get scammed? Time will only tell. Shs is 25 lbs heavier than her pics so a little disappointing, but lovely rack and worthy of a taste.

[F Scott]

Dodge,

Let me be the first to welcome you to the joys, frustrations, rewards and heartache of The Bowl. If you have not already dones so, I would urge you to go back to the very beginning of this most excellent thread and read it forward. Not only will you find a treasure trove of information here, hard-won on the front lines, but you will also begin to understand the effort and dedication it takes to be a successful, or at least marginally successful SD. There are many approaches, and many points of view; take what you like and leave the rest. Unlike any other thread on this site, at least that I am aware of, you will find the brethren to be polite, helpful, extremely supportive and willing to share, and pretty fuckin' literate. This is some of the best reading out there, in my opinion.

Feel free to PM any one of us, and be aware that we have a Sister In Sugar, (SIS?) who posts here as well, but she's totally cool, so don't feel restrained in any way.

Good luck with your new babies. I'm wondering if your young baby might start to lose her appeal the more into the non-pro scene you get. It really is, as you say, like an affair, especially if you can settle into something long-term. At some point, you might want to consider one of the SD sites like SA or SD4me instead of BP. In my area, the only responses I get are from pros or Russian dudes trying to get me to sign up for whatever that fake "verification" site is. Read back for opinions on all of the above.

Again, welcome, keep up the good work, always wear your helmet, and don't forget to write.

Scott

[AOneFred7734]

Years of watching this thread, but never really thought about getting in because I don't trust pay sites and therefore never tried SA or SD4Me or any of the other sites. However, I did post an ad on CL that was heavily implying the sort of arrangement I was looking for.

2 ladies answered. One was a lady in her mid 40s, blonde, nice rack, killer bod. Definitely not a pro. The other was likely a pro, much younger, who was looking to move to another series.

In short order both ladies proved their worth and had my toes tapping in a minimum amount of time. Both met me at my "home", where small take gave way to light kissing which graduated to heavy kissing and soon we'd retired to the bedroom. I think the older of the two is probably just looking for a fun distraction from dealing with her miserable ex. We do a good bit of commiserating about our past and present circumstances. We also do a good deal of kissing and touching. Lots more fun than the classic pay for play scenario. The whole thing has more the feel of an affair, but with the financial aspect to keep it in perspective. To date I've never gotten texts from her at inopportune moments.

The younger gal is more into the sex and $ aspect and feels very much like straight pay for play. As a result, times with her are more regimented and mechanical. Given my choices, I don't call her much unless the older gal is out of town. We it not for the younger gal having the sweetest pussy I've ever seen, I would probably never call her. LOL.

Both claim to be unable to have children but I'm keeping the helmet. I find that most women over a certain age who already have a couple kids generally don't want anymore and have usually had some sort of procedure to make sure it doesn't happen but it's not worth risking an 18+ year commitment, either.

Anyway, I'll keep more up to date on this thread and have more to offer as time goes on.

Later.

DB27

My gun got blanks in it but still play safe.

[Member #4183]

Years of watching this thread, but never really thought about getting in because I don't trust pay sites and therefore never tried SA or SD4Me or any of the other sites. However, I did post an ad on CL that was heavily implying the sort of arrangement I was looking for.

2 ladies answered. One was a lady in her mid 40s, blonde, nice rack, killer bod. Definitely not a pro. The other was likely a pro, much younger, who was looking to move to another series.

In short order both ladies proved their worth and had my toes tapping in a minimum amount of time. Both met me at my "home", where small take gave way to light kissing which graduated to heavy kissing and soon we'd retired to the bedroom. I think the older of the two is probably just looking for a fun distraction from dealing with her miserable ex. We do a good bit of commiserating about our past and present circumstances. We also do a good deal of kissing and touching. Lots more fun than the classic pay for play scenario. The whole thing has more the feel of an affair, but with the financial aspect to keep it in perspective. To date I've never gotten texts from her at inopportune moments.

The younger gal is more into the sex and $ aspect and feels very much like straight pay for play. As a result, times with her are more regimented and mechanical. Given my choices, I don't call her much unless the older gal is out of town. We it not for the younger gal having the sweetest pussy I've ever seen, I would probably never call her. LOL.

Both claim to be unable to have children but I'm keeping the helmet. I find that most women over a certain age who already have a couple kids generally don't want anymore and have usually had some sort of procedure to make sure it doesn't happen but it's not worth risking an 18+ year commitment, either.

Anyway, I'll keep more up to date on this thread and have more to offer as time goes on.

Later.

DB27

[Hernando]

Well, good news / bad news.

I trucked two hours at 8 pm to M&G this girl at a hotel bar. She was coughing and relatively inscrutable, but attractive enough. We had a drink and chatted. Or at least I chattered and she coughed. She obviously wasn't feeling it that night and I thought it was a bust because she sent me naked pictures and a BJ pic. When I got home she had emailed me and wanted to see me again. When we parted I made it clear that if we met again it would be in the hotel room so we shall see. I told her we had at least 3 or 4 candidates for her gang bang so she just smiled. We'll see if she is all talk or not.

SDFM: I have a M&G scheduled tomorrow night and if the price is right I think it could be good. She was in a 2 year SD relationship so she wants the long term thing that I do. She is mid 20s and very hot looking in a girl next door way.

ATF : I continue to beat my head against the wall trying to lure her back. I'm beginning to lose hope but I will keep trying until she gets a restraining order LOL. I text or email her every week or so so I wouldn't call it harassment. I hope she doesn't.

My apt has all kinds of hot babes but I need to figure out how to meet them. Everybody keeps pretty much to themselves there.

Tonight I have a date with one of my 2 fav escorts to at least get the pumps drained until I can line up a regular.

[FeelGoodMd]

I saw a report of a similar experience. The first outbreak was very severe. After that the guy occcasionally felt an itch coming on and he would resume the pills for a week. He never knew if the itch was the sign of a forthcoming outbreak. Nonetheless he took the pills for a week and there was no further outbreak. After a year or so he never felt another itch and never took another pill.

Interestingly, he had difficulty getting his Rx renewed. All he had was an itch. The doctor did not want to write an Rx without seeing an outbreak. The guy posted he raised enough Hell in the office he got his Rx renewed.

What you read is pretty typical. The worst outbreak is always the initial one, and someone can have a "outbreak" (with an increased risk of infecting others) without any symptoms (even a "mild itching"). Condoms help during outbreaks, but may not always cover the infectious sites.

The doctor you referenced was an idiot, for that very reason. If anyone has had an HSV infection (1 or 2) it should be a "lifetime ticket" to his / her antiviral of choice.

Be careful, everyone. Remember that this will NEVER be a 100% safe hobby.

Dr. Feelgood

[ILikeHotWomen]

I would hope that this guy was joking, but I know there are is some weird shit out there. I set up a sb profile to see what kind of messages the girls receive and here was one I had to post:

"I want to experience being the toilet of a white girl. No sex, no drama, no risk to you. I will pay $800 each time I visit you and experience being your toilet. No sex. No friendship or even conversation needed. You can just come by to my hotel and use me as your foot stool and toilet and then leave. Only to return the next time you need to go. I will pay $800 for each such day.

Your brown skinned toilet"

[Golfcart]

*** My brother contracted HSV2 over twenty five years ago. Is first attack was the most severe, painful and ugly. His second attack wasn't anywhere near as severe as the first one, and after a year and only two more, the attacks have disappeared. He gets itchy once in a while, but no obvious sores. He hasn't had to use his meds for longer than my oldest child has been alive. ***/z

I saw a report of a similar experience. The first outbreak was very severe. After that the guy occcasionally felt an itch coming on and he would resume the pills for a week. He never knew if the itch was the sign of a forthcoming outbreak. Nonetheless he took the pills for a week and there was no further outbreak. After a year or so he never felt another itch and never took another pill.

Interestingly, he had difficulty getting his Rx renewed. All he had was an itch. The doctor did not want to write an Rx without seeing an outbreak. The guy posted he raised enough Hell in the office he got his Rx renewed.

[Zomby]

I just found out that my 18yo HYB is positive for genital herpes (HSV-2).

I also found out that I have HSV-2 as well.

Joe,

Thanks for sharing, and my commiseration as well.

A question: Did the test confirm HSV2, or are you making that assumption based on the presence of "genital" bumps, rather than facial ones? If you are, that is not indicative. I presume it's the test, but it's worth making sure.

However, I want to point out that you got a wake up call with just cold water, instead of the scalding deluge it could have been. I realize that HSV is no walk in the park, but something like HEP or HIV could have been worse, infinitely so in one case.

I'd also like to offer some hope. If you are lucky, you may not suffer very much at all. In this day and age, HSV, even the genital "2" variety, is largely cosmetic, especially with the medical regimens available today. My brother contracted HSV2 over twenty five years ago. Is first attack was the most severe, painful and ugly. His second attack wasn't anywhere near as severe as the first one, and after a year and only two more, the attacks have disappeared. He gets itchy once in a while, but no obvious sores. He hasn't had to use his meds for longer than my oldest child has been alive. (:

I'm not trying to say you have nothing to worry about, far from it, especially as regards your marriage, but it may not be the devastatingly horrible thing you might be envisioning right now.

Best wishes,

/z

[ILikeHotWomen]

So I know that a lot of members that post here are from places outside of Richmond. I just set up a fake profile on SA seeing what all was out there and the responses some of these guys send the ladies. Heh Would some of you mind sharing some tips on which sites are the best for Richmond and what has given you the best luck? Feel free to post here or message.

[John G Smith]

Thanks for sharing Joe. It's very sobering to hear. And it's a big kick in the gut to see this happen to one of our brothers.

To be honest, anybody who frequents AMPs, escorts, and etc for any length of time (which is 90% of the people on this site) is going to have encountered someone with HSV at some point and it's pretty much just a coin toss on whether you contract it or not because condoms aren't fully protective of it. I've always assumed every sex worker has herpes because it's just so prevalent and easy to spread.

So the question becomes, can you afford to get herpes in your personal situation. I think what makes Joe's situation thorny is that his wife is still looking to have kids. Despite its negative connotation, herpes is pretty much benign aside from the initial infection period. The only serious health issue with herpes is if a woman becomes pregnant.

I know for my situation, I already have kids, no plans to have more. Giving my wife herpes wouldn't be good, but I've already at various points contemplated divorce. So if the marriage ended, it wouldn't be the end of the world. However I know some SDs / Mongers here are indeed happily married or at the very least looking to maintain their marriage long-term. If that's the case, you should seriously consider reevaluating the risks because herpes is so easy to spread, it's not really a matter of "if" it's "when".

Also for those of us in the Sugar Bowl, BB activities are a common place so our risks for things like this are even higher. What was sobering for me hearing Joe's story is that until this year when I officially got into the sugar bowl, I had never done any BB activities. In all my years of going to AMPs and seeing escorts, I think I got one BBBJ and never BBFS. Yet this year alone in the sugar bowl, I've had BBFS with three different SBs and BBBJ with every SB I got intimate with. The girls I had BBFS were between 18-20 and had very few previous sexual partners. But according to studies this is actually the highest risk group because they're least likely to use any form of protection.

The downside to the Sugar Bowl is that for some of us we get too brazen playing without a helmet. The girls we see just seem "normal" and since they're not blatantly screwing 6-12 guys a day in a hotel or massage parlor, we often forget about the real risks that are still there. I'm definitely guilty of this.

Joe I know you're in a rough spot right now. But you're not the first SD or will you be the last that has HSV-2, and many still play in the sugar bowl. Ethically you may want to limit yourself to covered activities but as mentioned before herpes is extremely widespread that I'd wager the majority of the SDs / SBs who've lived the lifestyle for a while probably have it even if they're not aware of it. Same thing for those that frequent escorts, street-walkers, and AMPs. It's the dirty little secret that rarely gets discussed on this site.

I'm just rambling now but Joe I hope you make it through your situation. It's definitely eye-opening and it has injected some hard bits of reality into this forum.

[AOneFred7734]

Gentlemen,

I've thought long and hard over the last few days about whether to post this or not, and I eventually decided that maybe my story will do someone else here some good. Maybe it will serve as a wake up call.

I just found out that my 18yo HYB is positive for genital herpes (HSV-2).

I also found out that I have HSV-2 as well.

I won't get into all the details, because they are largely irrelevant. But I will say that I am a smart guy who did some very stupid things. I hope and pray that nobody else is doing the dumb things I've done, or if they are, at least they're doing them knowingly and with full understanding of ALL of the risks.

I last saw HYB almost two weeks ago. We were both feeling a bit under the weather; me with a cold, her with a sore throat. We went to the movies, but one thing led to another, the little head took over all thinking duties, and we ended up at a hotel. To make matters worse, I entered her without a condom. I did not finish, but it is what it is.

Over the next few days, we each felt progressively worse. My doctor did a throat culture, and that's how they found it in me. The pubic bumps and sores appeared shortly thereafter. They gave me an anti-viral medication, which speeds the healing, and I have a follow-up visit tomorrow to discuss long-term therapy.

HYB was oblivious. She says she does not have obvious sores, so they never tested her for it. At my insistence, we did anonymous testing through www.tstd.org Yesterday at a local lab. The results returned today.

I believe HYB contracted it from her other SD, because she finally confessed yesterday that she's been barebacking him for months. By coincidence, I had a negative test on September 13, which leaves only two other potential partners, both of whom I now have little reason to suspect. Plus, I was protected with each of them (aside from oral).

HSV-2 is a virus that has no cure. I will be stuck with this my entire life. It can be suppressed, to varying degrees, and outbreaks controlled with medication. But I always risk passing it on whenever I have unprotected sex. Although the risk of transmission is relatively low when there is no outbreak, the risk remains. The risk is also very low, but again not zero, for unprotected oral.

There is a high likelihood that this one terrible decision will ruin my marriage as well. I am currently working through how and when to tell my wife. I've decided she needs to know soon, as we were considering children in the next year or two. I will be lucky if she even considers keeping me around. (Thanks to the confidential brother who has been guiding me through all this.)

I know that in the interest of brevity I've created many gaps in the story and that you may have questions. I'll be honest in saying that I don't know if I will be able (or will want) to answer them all. You can post them here or PM me. Needless to say, my days in the sugar bowl are done.

All I can say is that I hope this is an eye-opener for some of you.

Regards,

Joe

I have seen 3 diff, post just to day! About that kind of thing. Is makeing Me rethink all this.

[JoesParty]

Gentlemen,

I've thought long and hard over the last few days about whether to post this or not, and I eventually decided that maybe my story will do someone else here some good. Maybe it will serve as a wake up call.

I just found out that my 18yo HYB is positive for genital herpes (HSV-2).

I also found out that I have HSV-2 as well.

I won't get into all the details, because they are largely irrelevant. But I will say that I am a smart guy who did some very stupid things. I hope and pray that nobody else is doing the dumb things I've done, or if they are, at least they're doing them knowingly and with full understanding of ALL of the risks.

I last saw HYB almost two weeks ago. We were both feeling a bit under the weather; me with a cold, her with a sore throat. We went to the movies, but one thing led to another, the little head took over all thinking duties, and we ended up at a hotel. To make matters worse, I entered her without a condom. I did not finish, but it is what it is.

Over the next few days, we each felt progressively worse. My doctor did a throat culture, and that's how they found it in me. The pubic bumps and sores appeared shortly thereafter. They gave me an anti-viral medication, which speeds the healing, and I have a follow-up visit tomorrow to discuss long-term therapy.

HYB was oblivious. She says she does not have obvious sores, so they never tested her for it. At my insistence, we did anonymous testing through www.tstd.org yesterday at a local lab. The results returned today.

I believe HYB contracted it from her other SD, because she finally confessed yesterday that she's been barebacking him for months. By coincidence, I had a negative test on September 13, which leaves only two other potential partners, both of whom I now have little reason to suspect. Plus, I was protected with each of them (aside from oral).

HSV-2 is a virus that has no cure. I will be stuck with this my entire life. It can be suppressed, to varying degrees, and outbreaks controlled with medication. But I always risk passing it on whenever I have unprotected sex. Although the risk of transmission is relatively low when there is no outbreak, the risk remains. The risk is also very low, but again not zero, for unprotected oral.

There is a high likelihood that this one terrible decision will ruin my marriage as well. I am currently working through how and when to tell my wife. I've decided she needs to know soon, as we were considering children in the next year or two. I will be lucky if she even considers keeping me around. (Thanks to the confidential brother who has been guiding me through all this.)

I know that in the interest of brevity I've created many gaps in the story and that you may have questions. I'll be honest in saying that I don't know if I will be able (or will want) to answer them all. You can post them here or PM me. Needless to say, my days in the sugar bowl are done.

All I can say is that I hope this is an eye-opener for some of you.

Regards,

Joe

[Mr Strict]

Now here ar the bridge we are a bit confused. Or your little brain is getting more compute power than our starship computer.

1) she lives with her alcoholic dad that treats her like shit.

2) Threatens to kick her out if she doesn't have her half.

3) this morning she tells me I can come over while her dad is at work.

When does dad come back. When you are undressed? How quick can you tele transport yourself to your car, while your keys are in your pocket on her bedroom floor?

Please reroute power to the main brain. Engage

FVCK THAT!

1) she lives with her alcoholic dad that treats her like shit. (So what?)

2) Threatens to kick her out if she doesn't have her half. (Which you are willing to provide.)

3) this morning she tells me I can come over while her dad is at work. (Good thing. Don't want to be plowing daddy's little girl while he's pounding Jack in the kitchen.)

When does dad come back. When you are undressed? How quick can you tele transport yourself to your car, while your keys are in your pocket on her bedroom floor? (Pretty fvcking fast with keys in hand!)

Please keep supplying power to the auxiliary brain and stay engaged.

Dude! Have a plan, show up and pound her into the mattress! Drunk dad ain't coming home from work. And how long you going to spend there anyway? Get in, do the nasty, several times if possible and GTFO.

Remember: If you aren't living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

Or not.

Strict

The Contrarian