"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[AliasSM]

I've been dabbling in the SD / SB thing since the first of the year and subsequently been reading and following the exploits in everyone's reports / responses here. This is my first time posting so bear with me.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

Don't you hate messages like that. What a way to ruin a potentially good relationship. Since I've been playing in the SB arena, I've been asked for $$$$$ up front by one SB, asked for help with renting a new place from another that was just kicked out of her parent's house, asked for help getting utilities turned back on, asked for help with a cell phone bill then payment for an on-line shopping spree, and asked for money to buy a new cell (ex boyfriend stole it). I have not contributed to any of the above requests except to pay a $95 cell bill, which later did pay off by an eventual trip to the FC. All of these SBs had been seen by me at least once before they made the request. $1800 is a ridiculous amount to pay out, even if it had been a long term arrangement, I would never pay out that much sugar in hopes of ever seeing it (or her) again. If you had paid this out, it would have only been the beginning of many many more such requests and you would likely have never seen the inside of a FC with her anyway. Run. Don't walk away as fast as possible.

[Zomby]

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

As others have said, you bloody well did the only possible thing in that situation. If you haven't heard from her at all after that very polite, well worded, completely reasonable response, it was likely a scam. Even if she really did have a car repair bill, it doesn't sound like you were in a position to do much about it.

/z

[SubCmdr]

Wow! Are the SD's in this Forum having a bad week or what?

AllSeasonLv,

You did the right thing! 1800 in advance. GTF! My Southern Belle SB just asked me for $$$$$ cause she was short for a transmission repair. The answer was no. I told her "I'll spend that on us. But not on your car." And she is still talking to me.

Hernando,

Damn I am sorry to hear that man. I cringed when I read your story. Not to be disrespectful of your wife, but that is some straight up crap you would expect from a Nando1 except the other way around.

SubCmdr out

[Binder79]

Tiny eye (dot com) is your friend, If the Pics look that good, (TGTBT) search them on tiny eye. If she is a scammer, she is likley using stolen pics. Tiny eye finds the origonals. Always error on the side of caution.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

[AOneFred7734]

I've been dabbling in the SD / SB thing since the first of the year and subsequently been reading and following the exploits in everyone's reports / responses here. This is my first time posting so bear with me.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

Take you money and run I've been to the sa site dot see much there yet but just how much $$$ are we talking?

[JoesParty]

I've been dabbling in the SD / SB thing since the first of the year and subsequently been reading and following the exploits in everyone's reports / responses here. This is my first time posting so bear with me.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

You absolutely did the right thing. This happened to me once, too. Only the money was supposedly to stave off eviction. My guess is that most of these requests come from scammers.

On advances in general, and I know this has been discussed before, never give more than you are prepared to lose forever. Never assume you'll be repaid. I speak from personal experience.

[Spoonie]

I've been dabbling in the SD / SB thing since the first of the year and subsequently been reading and following the exploits in everyone's reports / responses here. This is my first time posting so bear with me.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

You did the right thing

[JoesParty]

My adorable HCB with whom I have had a regular affair for 1 1/2 years got a phone call at her work place from my W, who also talked to her boss, and also left a message on her parents VM about her seeing a married man. This slash and burn effort appears to have sunk my relationship which was the intended result. Talk about a dirty play, to hurt a young girl so deeply.

The moral of the story is don't get emotionally attached to a SB or don't play around at all as a married man. Also, be careful what you expose your SB to if you are married. Perhaps they shouldn't play in this arena with married men on the side. If they are young and inexperienced then they are vulnerable.

And, how can I ever consider re-establishing any sort of love relationship with a woman who would do this sort of thing?

Hernando,

I'm truly sorry you're enduring these trials, which I'm sure all of us married guys will agree is our worst nightmare. If we're being honest with each other, nobody in your situation is without fault. We could make all manner of excuses for your wife, but didn't our mamas teach us that two wrongs never make a right?

You ask how you could ever consider reestablishing a loving relationship with your wife; I think the question is whether you really want to or not. If you do, it will require no small amount of forgiveness by you for what she's done. (This assumes she is willing to forgive you, too.) I've seen relationships of family members torn apart by lingering resentment. If neither of you can let it go, it might be time to move on, or you'll be living in a constant state of tension.

Just my two cents, for what it's worth, because I've never been in your shoes (and knock on wood never will be).

[Hernando]

My adorable HCB with whom I have had a regular affair for 1 1/2 years got a phone call at her work place from my W, who also talked to her boss, and also left a message on her parents VM about her seeing a married man. This slash and burn effort appears to have sunk my relationship which was the intended result. Talk about a dirty play, to hurt a young girl so deeply.

The moral of the story is don't get emotionally attached to a SB or don't play around at all as a married man. Also, be careful what you expose your SB to if you are married. Perhaps they shouldn't play in this arena with married men on the side. If they are young and inexperienced then they are vulnerable.

And, how can I ever consider re-establishing any sort of love relationship with a woman who would do this sort of thing?

[AllSeasonLv]

I've been dabbling in the SD / SB thing since the first of the year and subsequently been reading and following the exploits in everyone's reports / responses here. This is my first time posting so bear with me.

I've read conflicting reports about when it might be appropriate to "advance" substantial sugar (not just gas / babysitter money) before one receives any sugar. Here's my story.

Met and cultivated a young lady from SA. She made the initial contact. She wouldn't post pics on the site but after giving her my shadow email account, she sent pics to me there. Stunning is the only word for her. She is of mixed race with the best possible DNA combination she could have hoped for. Remember our first Miss America of color who was later stripped of her title? That was this POT SB but 26yo. And, a killer body. She is a student who had just moved to RVA to pursue a masters degree. Or at least that was her story. But it made sense since her SA profile listed her as being in Raleigh. So after a few email exchanges I ask if she would like to meet for lunch. We even spoke on the phone when I got tired of texting (hate those little keyboards!). Her response to my question of what were her expectations if we had some chemistry and wanted to start an arrangement was that her needs were modest. Just a little help now and then when things that were unexpected popped up. No talk of an allowance or what she might want per meeting. Just the type of situation I was looking for. So we set a date and time for our meet and greet with the idea of maybe $ for her to cover gas and to show a little good faith. The morning of our lunch day I get an email wondering if I could "advance" her $1800 so she could get her car out of the shop. She said it was a $4800 transmission replacement and she only had $3000. She had to have the "loaner" back that afternoon. She even said she wouldn't ask for anything for awhile, implying that it would go toward many future meetings. I responded by telling her that I wasn't prepared to assist her with that much and she needed to look for someone with a lot more disposable income and a more trusting nature. Never heard back from her.

So I ask you. Here I was, presented with what looked to me to be the potential for a perfect situation with a gorgeous girl and she steps up and asks for a LOT of scratch. Would anyone out there have taken a chance with this total stranger? Please tell me I did the right thing.

[HollywoodGuy]

I've been running into a lot of Pot SB's that are focused on how much time you want to spend with them. As in the number hours your meeting will last. I have a real problem with that. If you want to get paid by the hour go be an escort. Meetings have a natural flow to them. Some are short. Other are more leisurely. Please share your thoughts on this subject.

How much time is enough?

SubCmdr Out

When I first meet a new girl I always agree to a dollar amount per hour. (and they are calculating like 2 to 4 hours in their head) and then when the hour is up I always tell them they can leave if they want to but I am only paying for the one hour. The ones that like you will never leave. They will see another guy when there is someone else offering more. But on the nights when they don't have anything else going on. They will see you rather than have nothing to do at all. And plenty of times even turn down more, because its you that they really want to be with. I have had overnights and all day dates many many times.

Its a take away. And it works.

[SubCmdr]

Definitely wasn't one of my finest hours. I think I had a bit of hubris and didn't think anything serious would happen. I've met quite a few local girls and never come close to having any issues. Lesson learned though.

Good evening Mr. Smith,

I was not taking a personal shot at you. It's was like a debrief after and operation. We look at the things we could have done better. It is all good! You haven't got a chance to read my screw up yet. I'm still writing it up. Happens to all of us my man. I like to send hostile text to spam. That way I can review it later. And get a laugh when cooler heads prevail.

I am having a great time in Southern Cali! And it's not because of the weather.

SubCmdr Out

[John G Smith]

And all this after my OPSEC warning. LOL! You met a Nando1 that you had a bad feeling about previously; at night; in a desolate parking lot; in a neighborhood local to your home. Wow!

My suggestion is to hold onto all threatening communication until after you may need it. By blocking her messages you no longer have any proof of criminal behavior. It is a worst case scenario, but important if it comes down to it. If it comes down to Divorce or Jail. I'll take divorce.

Definitely wasn't one of my finest hours. I think I had a bit of hubris and didn't think anything serious would happen. I've met quite a few local girls and never come close to having any issues. Lesson learned though.

However blocking her messages doesn't mean I no longer have proof. I didn't delete any of the previous messages. I still have all her threatening messages. I basically just stopped her from communicating with me further, so she would get frustrated and move on.

Personally I rather get divorced than get extorted. I'll never pay a penny under threat. So any girl who threatens me will never get anything. And if they push it too far I'll be glad to turn them over to the police. Of course, I still want to avoid drama if I can.

[Magic Rat]

How much time is enough?

SubCmdr Out

I had a POT inform me that she expected to be compensated for the M&G because time was $ to her. I told her she sounded like an escort and that wasn't what I was looking for.

How much time is enough? As you said Commander, whatever feels right in that particular situation. I've been doing a late lunch with drinks and typically the M&G goes hour and a half to two hours. If you are talking about time in the proverbial FC, the only times that has ever been mentioned is to say "I have to be home by x time", sometimes by the Baby, sometimes by me. I would never spend time with a Baby where I felt like I was paying by the hour. But that's just me.

Happy trails.

[SubCmdr]

I've been running into a lot of Pot SB's that are focused on how much time you want to spend with them. As in the number hours your meeting will last. I have a real problem with that. If you want to get paid by the hour go be an escort. Meetings have a natural flow to them. Some are short. Other are more leisurely. Please share your thoughts on this subject.

How much time is enough?

SubCmdr Out