"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[F Scott]

It appears you have been a very busy bee in just three weeks! Congratulations on your stellar entry into this most rewarding, frustrating, exciting and disappointing pursuit a person could find. I can find little to criticize in your technique, with the exception of a rookie move we all make - getting too many babies on the line at one time. You pulled off a spectacular double-header, it appears, but at least in my case, I know I let some great catches slip away because I just couldn't handle them all in the first months of discovering the delights of the Bowl, but this is a minor, minor observation, and not at all a critique.

Keep up the good work, and don't forget to write,

Scott

[FeelGoodMd]

I've been lurking for about a month, and after much reading and learning from my elders on this board, I jumped into the sugar bowl about 3 weeks ago. My deepest thanks to all the posters here, especially the more active members. I have learned much, and it has made my entry into the sugar world much simpler than it ever could have been without you.

That being said, I'll jump right into my rounds for the evening.

Patient 1 is a 23 year old AA who contacted me on SA shortly after I joined. I have never been to the dark side, but her initial email intrigued me so I decided to see where things would lead. We learn a little bit about each other over email (she's grew up and attended college locally, but is moving about 2 hours away in the fall to pursue a masters). After several days emailing, we set up a dinner M&G. Some creative googling confirms most of her story, and gives no indication she might be a pro.

When we finally meet, I am absolutely stunned! She is tall, curves in all the right places, and breasts. Well, I'm a breast man and these might be the best I've ever been within reach of. Over dinner, she explains that she hasn't had sex in over two years. I am somewhat incredulous at this, and express that, but she swears it's true. We have a great meal, seem to really be getting along, and at the end of dinner I suggest we might adjourn to somewhere more private. She hesitates, I can see the battle in her eyes, but after a few moments she declines. She says she wants to be sure she is ready for the next step first. I express understanding (don't push the string, right?) , and give her a kiss (actually, turned into several very hungry kisses on her part) goodnight. I slip. 2 into her purse and explain it's gas money, since she had a bit of a drive to our dinner site.

Over the next several days, she and I text back and forth several times, making tentative plans to get together again which fall apart at the last minute because of conflicts on one of our parts (often hers) , or her simply not responding to a confirmatory texts. After a few of these, I get tired of that game and decide to leave things alone after again writing to confirm a rendezvous and not hearing back from her. About 4 days later, she texts me and says she'll be free the next night and really wants to see me. I suggest we get together at a local hotel after work, and after about 4 hours she texts back an agreement. Things are looking wonderful, except I forgot I'd already set up a date that day with.

Patient 2, a 36 year old Cauc recently relocated from Vegas to be with an ill family member locally. She responds to my wink, and seems very eager to get together. First contact with her was the same day as with patient 1. Things progress quickly, and she gives me her email address so we can communicate offsite. Out of curiosity, I google the email and it turns up connected to a "companion" in Vegas. There are no pictures connected to the vegas info, but the years correspond roughly to the time she says she lived out there. My alarms go off, but I decide to ignore them and plunge ahead. No gift amounts have been discussed, so I'm still in control of the transaction.

The day after my M&G with pt 1, I have an early dinner with pt 2. Things go smoothly, and we progress to a local hotel to "find out if we have chemistry." We do, twice, and my suspicions that she is a pro-trying-to-exit or a semi-pro grow stronger. (great technique, obviously polished, but slightly inauthentic) I give her the gift I'd already settled on and we part ways. I text her the next day to tell her how much I enjoyed our time together, and she readily texts back her agreement and her enthusiasm to meet again. I file her as a "dependable backup," but continue to pursue other leads.

Patient 3, a 23 year old Cauc student who contacts me while I am out with Pt 2. We go back and forth on email for about 24 hours, and she divulges that she grew up in town, but went to college out of state. She returned last fall after having a breakdown her senior year, but has "put things back together" and is planning to finish her degree at a local U starting in the fall. And she claims she is a virgin. She heard about the sb life from a girl at the dead-end job she is currently filling, and decided to explore. She thinks it would be "neat" to lose her virginity this way, and I agree (actually, I think it's idiotic on her part, but soothe my conscience with the knowledge that she can apply my gifts to her eventual therapy). We meet for breakfast the following morning (the Head Nurse is out of town that weekend) , and I begin to believe the virgin story is true. She is VERY nervous, but chatty. Things are moving in the right direction, but I sense that pushing for a trip to the FC would be premature, so I walk her to her car and we agree to meet again for another meal.

We continue to text and email, and have dinner about 4 days later with much expression of angst on her part, but no further progress toward the fc. There is radio silence for several days after that. She finally emails to say she just isn't ready for "this kind of thing," but appreciates my patience and understanding with her. I wish her the best, and tell her I hope she will contact me if she ever changes her mind about pursuing a sd-sb arrangement. I realize I have probably been spared a great deal of drama and clinginess.

Patient 4, a 37 year old Cauc moving back to the states after several years with our northern neighbors. She contacts me and expresses interest, but the problem is she lives 2 hours away from me. I explain that my schedule rarely allows me to travel, but she says she's happy to come to me. We set up a M&G the morning after my trip to the FC with Pt 2, but early that morning, before I leave, she texts to say that her car wouldn't start and it's now on being towed to the shop. She texts later to say the mechanic thinks she can have it early the next day, so we agree on a late lunch. No dice. She doesn't get her car out of the shop until early that morning, and by the time she made the drive it would be mid-afternoon (when the head nurse is expected to return).

I suggest we try to get together later, which she seems eager (almost desperate) to do, but in the ensuing 2 weeks our schedules haven't lined up. We have a tentative meeting in a few days, which she insists should be a M&G only to "remove the pressure of sex." OK, I'm not driving 250 miles round-trip. We'll see if she actually makes the trip, and if she does whether she wants to return with only some gas money (I figure I'll give her. 5 for her trouble) or if she wants to enter the FC for a greater reward for her travels.

I have a M&G with Patient 5, a 25 year old Cauc, over dinner the following week. She is smoking hot. Thin and lithe, but with only a generous A or modest B cup. She's also flaky, and there's no chemistry at all. We agree to meet again, but don't set a date. I give her. 2 for gas money (bait). I text her the following day, and get a response with little apparent enthusiasm. I text again a few days later, same thing. I decide to wait for her to make the next move. Not enough good chemistry for the effort, but I figure that she may decide she likes the taste of sugar and get back in touch.

Patient 6, 27 year old AA sales woman recently relocated after being downsized and trying to "get back on her feet." Very charming online, lots of chemistry in texts / I'm's, and we set up a lunch M&G two days after my dinner with Patient 5. When we meet, I discover she is in much the same mold as Patient 1. Tall, statuesque, sharply defined features, and very dark. Lunch goes well, and our online chemistry seems to have carried over (with an almost imperceptible chill, however) , so we part with an agreement to meet again but no firm date and no sugar dispensed. We're still communicating online, but I have my hands full right now with other prospects so I'm not going to rush her.

This brings us back to Patient 1 and Patient 2. Two days before I heard from Patient 1 that she finally wanted to get together, I'd made a date with Patient 2. I call Pt 2 back to say that I have evening plans, but could we meet in the afternoon. She's more than happy with that (unemployed, and her family member is getting healthy so she has time on her hands). I say great, and we set a date for 3. I contact Patient 1 again, and suggest we meet at 6:00 instead of 5:30 "so I can make sure I get out of the office in time." Yes, it's cutting it close, but I think I can make the logistics work. Patient 1 suggests we meet instead at 6:30 so she can "go home and change into something less work-why." No problem! I remind her of the hotel address, and she says she has it and she'll be there.

I get to the first hotel (a drawback to my plan. 2 hotel bills in one day) five minutes early, and discover that Patient 2 has preceded me by 45 minutes and 3 margaritas in the lobby bar. I order a water, chat for about 15 minutes while she finishes margarita 3, pay for her drinks (still cheaper than dinner) , and escort her to the FC. What few inhibitions she had after 1 glass of wine at our first meeting are completely gone after 3 margaritas, and she fucks like a condemned woman whose only hope is to screw her way off the gallows. 2 hours and 3 cups later we depart the FC, with the same gift as our first meeting, and my only regret the possibility that she may have drained me for my rendezvous with Patient 1. I have nearly 90 minutes to recover, however, so I grab a quick bite to restore my strength, and make my way to FC 2. I jump in the shower again to eliminate any trace of Patient 2, and have just gotten back in my clothes when Patient 1 knocks on the door. 2 minutes early, perfect.

She is in a green dress that contrasts beautifully with her ebony skin and shows off her curves to great advantage. We hug and kiss lightly, I pour some wine, and we sit on the bed to talk and touch and kiss. She confesses nerves, and I'm in no particular rush since I figure I need as much recovery time as I can muster. After about 15 minutes of this, however, I take her glass and put it on the nightstand, and lean her back on the bed. The next two hours are a whirlwind. She fucks like she wants to make up for the last two years before we part for the evening. Her body is even more spectacular than I had imagined, and I begin to believe that the "once you go black" saying may be true for men as well as for women. I am thankful that my stethoscope has been put to extensive use already, because it greatly enhances my endurance. Another 2 cups and 90 minutes later, and I tell her that our time has to come to an end. The head nurse will soon be getting suspicious. We agree to see each other again, and I slip her gift in her purse as I give her a final hug. A few minutes later I get a text: THANK YOU SO MUCH! C U SOON! I think she's satisfied by my generosity.

I've already written a novella, so I will save news of Patient 7 (23 year old student and single mother, breakfast M&G tomorrow morning) , Patient 8 (early 40's aspiring massage therapist, dinner M&G on Friday) , Patient 9 (27 year old early career blueblood who seems to want to "break the mold" her upbringing has her in, breakfast M&G Saturday) , as well as one of 3 prospects I'm trying to arrange a M&G with on Wednesday evening (23 year old entering med school. 18 year old heading off to college on an athletic scholarship. 41 year old recently widowed nurse who gives amazing chat, but also has a higher taste for sugar than I want to dispense).

Thank you for your time and your reading, gentlemen (and at least one lady). I am glad to have formally joined your conversation, and welcome any thoughts and feedback (and even admonitions if applicable) you may have to offer.

Dr. Feelgood

[AliasSM]

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

Scott

You have hit on something here Scott and I find it rings true with me also. I just had this discussion with my nurse SB a few nights ago, and then again on an ungodly long string of emails with a potential SB last week.

But the "honestly", I'll have to admit, is very selective. Still though, I find myself telling them things about me that I have never shared with my wife of many years and would never discuss in a real relationship.

I do think it's due to the fact that this person will not be around the rest of your life and you can always find a replacement if necessary. It's still odd though. Almost like paying a therapist to hear all of you inner thoughts.

As usual Scott, you are onto something here. If nothing else, it sparked a response from Mandy, who has been noticeably absent for some time.

Welcome back Mandy!

[Golfcart]

(Edit Delete) I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. (Edit Delete) Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? (Edit Delete)

No.

When Scott had to use his own game to get the girls failure was personal. It was like a job interview. Scott was on his good behavior to a greater extent. That means he was artificial to some extent if only to himself.

In the pay for play world the pressure to succeed is off; another girl is just around the corner. Scott is more relaxed, more real, more open, more Scott. Scott's girls see Scott The Real few others see. Scott likes this Scott better. If Scott doesn't do it there's always tomorrow, but tonight has a habit of working out.

This is the same discussion Scott and I had a year ago in another form. Not being afraid is power. A man unafraid is very hard to beat.

[F Scott]

Scott as always you pose an interesting question – why do you feel free to be honest in the sugar bowl?

But, I have to question if you're really all that honest? I think we find our longer-term favorites and we get comfortable and are honest with that person. But, that's only part of the sugar journey.

I mean – how many of your babies know your real name, what you do, or your company name?

What they do know is what you like in bed and that you play with multiple people. Once you form a connection with them, it's easy to be honest with everything else because they already know 'the worst of you. '

But, at the same time once that connection is formed I think we tend to lie a little bit to protect that person just like most of us do with our spouses. Recently, 'Him' revealed that he's been dating someone locally. It's been going on for several months and in an effort to 'not hurt me' he lied to me. I can't fault him – The Doctor has no idea I have another SD.

So, while I agree there is a certain level of honesty in the sugar world. I think we cloud things over here just as much as in our normal worlds.

Mandy

Perhaps honesty is not the perfect word, here, but rather "forthrightness". I don't just tell a new baby what I like in bed, but share stuff about myself, (not including my real name, etc) that even some of my close friends don't know. I find it liberating and a release. Maybe the fact that I am "anonymous" in one regard lets me be more open in others?

Only my last ATF knew my real name, none of the others ever did. It just didn't seem like a smart thing, so perhaps selective honesty, if there is such a thing, is the phrase I'm after. Having said this, I never shared with her that I was also seeing other babies while we were together. Again, it just did not seem smart, but if she had asked, I would have told the truth, I think. Is that a lie of commission, or omission? I know she was seeing other people during our time together, and so what would have been the big deal? On the third hand, if she had started our day together telling me about the date she had the night before, I'm not sure how I would have reacted, so Mandy, maybe you are right after all. The more it gets to be like real life, the more we obfuscate to "protect" our partners. I asked my current Irish Obsession if she were planning on having multiple situations at our first m&g, and she admitted that she was looking for more than one, but not in a serial fashion, and I appreciated that. Is that honesty? Does the book have to be totally open to call it "honest"?

I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. Maybe because I know there is a huge Bowl out there, I don't need to "put one over" on any particular baby, and so that lets me say exactly what I want to say. I'm not being rude or disrespectful by any means, just clear and simple, direct and open. And it is not only about sex.

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

In other news, a client just laid a huge amount of cash on me as payment for time, so I am scraping it off the books and straight into my sugar bowl. Hooray, just in time for the weeks ahead. Rain on and off all day, so we will not, apparently, burst into flames here in the Midwest, at least not just yet.

Looking forward to more opinions on the topic as posed,

Scott

[SbabyBlog]

Scott as always you pose an interesting question – why do you feel free to be honest in the sugar bowl?

But, I have to question if you're really all that honest? I think we find our longer-term favorites and we get comfortable and are honest with that person. But, that's only part of the sugar journey.

I mean – how many of your babies know your real name, what you do, or your company name?

What they do know is what you like in bed and that you play with multiple people. Once you form a connection with them, it's easy to be honest with everything else because they already know 'the worst of you. '

But, at the same time once that connection is formed I think we tend to lie a little bit to protect that person just like most of us do with our spouses. Recently, 'Him' revealed that he's been dating someone locally. It's been going on for several months and in an effort to 'not hurt me' he lied to me. I can't fault him – The Doctor has no idea I have another SD.

So, while I agree there is a certain level of honesty in the sugar world. I think we cloud things over here just as much as in our normal worlds.

Mandy

[Golfcart]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Not all aspects of EuroInCincy's situation are clear to me. I assume EuroInCincy and the girl have agreed to $300 behind closed doors; her view is they will meet for a M&G at which M&G she expects $300 and this occasion will not be followed by going behind closed doors. I would tell her the $300 is associated with behind closed doors time; a M&G for coffee is not behind closed doors time and is not compensable unless the two of you decide to adjourn to behind closed doors.

I agree with Scott. Being straight up about everying is the only way.

I don't agree with gift cards or anything not associated with going behind closed doors. If we start something like that we invite more of the same, ending with regrets.

[F Scott]

Not much about flanking, way more about straight talk

I was having this discussion with a new pot baby the other day: how, in a strange way, the Sugar Bowl offers both parties the opportunity to be upfront and straightforward in what we expect in a way that real life dating does not. Before I was married, I would use whatever ruse, game, angle or approach I could think of to get access to the pussy, but now, in the SB world, I curiously find that staight talk is the way to go. These babies can smell a bs'er a mile away, and most will call you on it in no uncertain language.

I wonder why I feel so much more free to be honest in the Bowl, and would love to hear more opinions from the brothers, and Mandy, of course.

So, here is the topic for debate: "Why, in an arena that prizes discretion, and for most, married or not, a certain level of secrecy, does it seem to be so easy to be honest?" The floor is open for input.

Scott

[Varoom]

Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Not sure if it is GPS or maybe more so just throwing out her line (line of BS) to see just how stupid these SD's can be. Lets look at this if the tables were turned and you were lurking for a female who was trolling for your services. Say you have no idea what she is willing to pay to get up close and personal with your equipment, so how would you handle the negotiations? Of course you would start high and see her reaction, and when she reacted that you were being unreasonable then you would lower the fee for your services until the negotiations reached the floor of what Euro was willing to accept to insert the equipment into said hole.

So here is what I would do; tell her straight out how your program works. NO sugar for M&G, but maybe a parting gift for showing and playing nice over coffee; aka gift card. (Most people do not get paid to drink a cup of coffee). Then if mutual feelings are in place and time is scheduled in the FC that you would provide to her X wampum per visit, with future negotiations being possible upon extroadinary performance. Pretty simple, and if she responds for further discussion then you have the makings of an appointment brewing. If / when she tells you there are way better offers and more generous gentlemen out there, then tell her to go find her generous SD and stop wasting her time talking to you since you obviously aren't her cup of tea.

Not much about flanking, way more about straight talk; here is what I will do for you, if you do this for me. Ding, ding, we have a winner!

[F Scott]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Euro,

That is completely outrageous! You could agree to the $300, but then suggest that she fuck you when you meet, just so you know she's for real LOL! If she's new to the Bowl, she may just not know how it works, so if it were me I'd compose a calm, polite response, laying out the way the game is played, and let her walk or not. Be prepared yourself to have it be the end.

Let us know,

Scott

[F Scott]

My guess Scott, you'll have her kissin the Blarney Stone for dessert on Monday.

That is my sincere hope, but I want to go a little slowly with this one, since I have a really good feeling about long-term potential here, and don't want to come off as too grabby, unless she indicates that access would be encouraged.

Have a great, baby-filled weekend, my brothers.

I look forward to Monday morning's recap,

Scott

[EuroInCincy]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

[Varoom]

since, as she told me, she's pretty sure I'm her guy.

Well, I guess Irish is the LAST ONE to know then. The rest of use in the clubhouse are damned sure about you being the guy, and Scottie put in two vote of confidence on the subject. My guess Scott, you'll have her kissin the Blarney Stone for dessert on Monday.

[F Scott]

Brother Scott,

The above dialogue is like a classic line from a movie. It may rival Rhett Butler, in GWTW. I am certainly glad that I didn't have a mouthful of liquid when I read this one because I busted out with an uncontrollable horse laugh which continued on a bit. Sweet. Vroom

Thanks, Vroom. I didn't really think of the humor potential as I was writing it, but now that you point it out, it was pretty snappy, wasn't it? And the best part is, it's all true! And you are correct, I will never forget the day, ever, nor will Scottie. He loves me so much right now, it's kind of embarassing. Can you have a bromance with your own penis? Apparently so!

In other news, my Irish Cherokee bailed on me, surprise, surprise. My big failing is that I let myself get out ahead of reality, and start to image the two of us, wrapped in the Sweet Embrace, and I start to believe that she will, in fact, follow through, and forget what the history has been up till now. I straight out accused her of yanking my chain, which of course she denied, and protested that she really, really wants us to get together, but things just came up, yada yada yada. I ask you, my brothers, what just comes up in the life of a 23 yo partially-employed baby that can't be put off for an hour or two? I own my own business and still I can usually find an hour to meet someone for coffee on a given day, especially if it's been planned ahead. Whatever.

In further news, out of the blue I got a response yesterday to a contact I had put out on SA from a gorgeous, funny, smart, lively baby who I may just be mad for. We met for coffee, spent almost three hours at a Starbucks near me, and have been texting and emailing ever since. She is a single mom, ex-military, fishing, hunting and cooking fan, who acts and sings. God, I think I'm in love. Plus, she is gorgeous, did I mention that? We are meeting for lunch on Monday. Negotiations have already been dealt with, since, as she told me, she's pretty sure I'm her guy. Plus, she's Irish. First generation, and you senior members know what I think about that! She is so animated, and full of life, that I think she will be perfect for me to get over the breakup with my ATF, which I realized recently has not even been a month. Time does drag when you are miserable, doesn't it?

Lastly, my "sure thing" with my little Goth baby with the enormous rack did not materialize either. After an endless stream of "sexts", the line suddenly went dead. As Magic said to me, "Ya just never know how this shit's gonna go", which I think we should have made into t-shirts for the clubhouse.

Anyway, just some random musings and updates, in no particular order and without polish. SO comes home this evening, so I will be headed back to solitary until Monday, when I am going to delight in my shiny new baby (hopefully).

Feelin' good,

Scott

[Varoom]

I ask,"would you like to take the tiller?", to which she replies, in her posh British accent,"no, I'd like to fuck you."

Brother Scott,

The above dialogue is like a classic line from a movie. It may rival Rhett Butler, in GWTW. I am certainly glad that I didn't have a mouthful of liquid when I read this one because I busted out with an uncontrollable horse laugh which continued on a bit. Definitely some great prose there my friend and sooooo glad that the Brit blew your boating shoes clean off. Yip-fuckin-ee; sounds like one that you will take to the old folks home in your grey matter, and even old-timers won't erase that memory! Sweet. Vroom