"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[TravelinSD]

I'm signed up for both SA and SD4Me. I get a lot of local gals I'm not interested in sending me inquiries on SA, but on SD4Me I get tons of overseas and far-flung areas of the US inquiries from women. I never answer any of them and just hit the delete button. I'm assuming the overseas ones are some kind of scam being run, but wonder about the US ones. Anyone have experience with these and know what the deal is with them? Again, not even considering responding, just curious.

Thanks!

Drummer

[TravelinSD]

I may have finally turned the corner after 3 months of searching. I had dates Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and all of them were great albeit in different ways. I'll start with Sunday:

I'll call Sunday's SB Flakey. That's because she says she isn't flakey, but has canceled and no-showed (contacted me and apologized later for broken phone, hmmmm) two sessions and truncated two promised overnights for a variety of reasons. The thing is she IS a nice, sweet, intelligent girl and she has muscle control that is simply incredible. She says that she'll get better, but I've made it clear there will be no monthly allowance until things get a lot more stable. Still a great time Sunday evening with dinner at my place, an episode of Homeland and great sex.

Monday was the amazing one. M&G with someone new. I'll call her Car Girl. We spent most of Sunday afternoon in a text conversation which was fun (finally getting used to the texting thing). That made dinner go really great. There has been recent discussions about sharing with SBs, I've made it a point to be open about my divorce, escort-using past and my 1 yr previous SB relationship. Anyway, after that and other conversations we finally left when the restaurant turned on the lights because we were the last ones there. As I'm walking her to her car she says,"Your story really made me hot, we should have sex in the car." At first I thought she was kidding. Thankfully she wasn't. Ours were the only cars in the parking lot, so we made out like teenagers and had sex in my car. Twice! It was hot and amazing. The kicker was I made an offer to donate some money to her non-profit (she has a dog rescue) and she actually got upset with me. She said that made it seem too much like "prostitution" and that we'd talk about that stuff later. Since then we've had a couple extended text sessions and I hope to see her again soon. Whew!

Last night I had a M&G with another lady I'll call Tokyo Rose. She's going to college for language with a concentration in Japanese. 20yrs old, very nice, very intelligent, a lot in common. It went fantastic! We made plans for her to come to my place Friday night, so we'll see if the physical connection matches up with the social one.

So, I think one of these three may work out to try an extended arrangement with. The problem is so far I like different things about all 3. I'm finding my self trying to figure out if there's some way I can afford all of them. I'm working diligently to see if I can make that happen.

So, on the age thing. I just turned 56. The ages of these three SBs are 22, 27 and 20 respectively. My previous SB was 23. They all seem fine with it. I'm in pretty good shape, happen to have good genes from my parents so I'm not very gray yet and look younger than my years. The other thing is I'm in an industry in which I'm in contact with a wide range of ages and am exposed to most current trends, music, etc. That gives me a young outlook on life. More than one of these SBs has said,"Age is just a number." To be honest I've stopped dwelling on it and have learned that if you're having fun and if she seems to be having fun, just enjoy it! So much I hear,"I have nothing in common with these girls!" Well, if you're dealing with educated (degree or in college) ladies, who are looking for a long-term arrangement, I haven't found any problem with topics of conversation, finding common interests or forming a connection.

I will throw in the caveat I mentioned in one of my other posts though. Just realize while your relationship with her may be great, whether she's monogamous with you or not, she probably has an entirely different world of friends and activities that won't include you. Roll with that any you'll be in great shape!

Good luck to all in your SB relationships,

Drummer.

Hi Everybody, great reading all of your posts. Interesting

[Magic Rat]

The age difference between me and my ATF is around a decade. Late 50's vs late 40's. It appears most of the guys on here have had great success with the HYB's in their 20's, but that hasn't been the case with me. I've seen a few but it just hasn't floated my boat so to speak. I enjoy a woman who knows what she likes and can even take control at times. The younger SB's I've seen have been very reserved, some almost to the point of being considered a "dead fuck". Maybe more research is needed on my part?

[CantWinLosin]

Got to agree with Varoom for the most part. I'm in my 50's and, for me, the lady needs to have some maturity. I usually have nothing in common with a young-20-something, and while a hot young body is nice, it wears thin pretty quickly without something else to hold my interest. I've found that 30 is a good arbitrary floor for me; I have met 28-yr-olds that were great and 40-yr-olds that still act like teenagers, so no number is hard and fast. But in general if they're younger than 35 or so, I'm going to be extra careful in determining whether we're a good match, and below 30, they're really going to have to be special.

There's also the out-in-public issue. This is still the South, and Mrs. Grundy will always remind you about what's considered "proper". I've learned the hard way that, when you're with someone significantly younger and you're not acting like family or colleagues, other men will smirk and matronly women will stare, point and scowl. I'd like to say fuck 'em, but it gets old when it happens *every time* you're out together. (It's not just an age thing. The same has been true when clean-cut me was out with a lovely lady who happened to have sleeves, a chest plate and lots of other visible ink.)

Finally, that thing about us getting better with age? It tends to apply to the ladies too. Again, a hot young body is nice, but if she doesn't know how to use it or hasn't yet learned that great sex is both physical and mental, it gets old quickly. An older woman may not be quite as HYB, but she can more than make up for it with experience, sensuality and empathy.

Just my 35 cents worth (adjusted for inflation)

[Hernando]

That would be me! Yes Varoom, I tend to agree that I find it hard for a HCB to get truly excited by a gent many decades her senior. I am very blessed to have found a 40 year younger SB who seems to be truly into me. You can talk the talk and walk the walk for a while but we just celebrated our 1st year anniversary and she kisses me and loves me like no one I have ever experienced. I am a very fit and youthful 60, so I do not come across as "gramps" fortunately for playing in this bowl. My Baby says things that make me think that I am way more put together than her peer group. (but she's smart enough not to draw comparisons to her other male experiences. I do not want to hear it) The down side to getting old is that the equipment (as lit opined) gets hinky and that can be frustrating when with a hottie who might go a 2nd or 3rd round and the old bod isn't up to it. Fortunately there are chemical enhancements which onercome most issues, but can take the spontaneity out of a session. Some of you younger men seem to attract girls who are getting off just being with you.possibly Scott, Droo . And don't demand the Sugar. I think 30 something is a perfect age for landing these HCBs. Good for you guys.

I found my SB on Sugardaddy4me and got a lot of responses there before settling down. I agree it is next to impossible to cancel so use VaJimbo's advice about using a prepaid card. Fling is full of young girls who aren't thinking money and seem to be looking for a hookup with another young dude, Ashley Madison has been a total loser for me. I think the girls there are looking for younger guys as well. I didn't get as far as SA since I already found my SB SO.

[EuroInCincy]

Understandable that a young SB might want to date an older guy for the experience, or to compare notes on the comments of her friend (s) . Do others see the relevance of whether the age spread is 20 yrs. 30 yrs or 40?

Ok I find that I get the most out of the 18-19 yr olds and then the 30+. The 20. 30 I found are solely doing it for the sugar while the 18-19 yr olds (yes 30 + yrs younger than me) do it to get 'knowledge' or to fill the 'void' of having a sympathetic 'dad' in their life.

The 30+ crowd, do it not for the sugar, even though ir is a nice perk, but because they need it in addition to the relation (s) they already have or because the want the 'security' of something that looks like a semi long term without the hassles.

That is just my 2 eurocents

[Varoom]

I have to agree with Mandy here, I currently have 2 18 yr olds (ok mentally they are a tad older, but physically 18. And both wanted me because of me being older and being able to mentor, and being able to teach them tricks guys their age can't even fantasize about!)

One even said she is approaching this as a college course, where she will learn how to take care of her future husband.

Understandable that a young SB might want to date an older guy for the experience, or to compare notes on the comments of her friend (s) that have had such experiences with older guys and told the stories. Yes, they want to see if it is different than the 18 yo boy in social studies that got in there and pounded it for all of a minute and a half. But when is AGE experience and when is AGE just plain OLD? We have SD's here who are in their 30's. 40's. 50's. 60's and maybe even 70's. An 18 yo SB can surely be attracted to a 30's or even 40's SD (and maybe on the outside a well preserved 50's SD) , but lets not kid ourselves folks, a recent high schooler isn't going to get much kick out of snuggling up to someone who is older than their Grandfather. If you think so then I've got a bridge for sale.

Age and age difference needs to be quantified to some degree. It seems that most here discuss SB and SD as being 20ish +- yrs apart and that isn't how it is for all concerned. The 65 yo snuggling up to an 18 yo is great for Gramps but frankly I can't imagine that it does much for the young lady except cause her to fantisize about what she will do with the sugar once the moaning is over and done with. Nando seems to be the exception here with quite a large age spread that seems to work successfully; (hats off to Nando). Who are the others that are working with a 40 yr age spread with continued bliss? It might be helpful to know when some write about their SB and speak of AGE to know the appx spread in yrs, so the experiences can be quantified into loose categories for similarity. Do others see the relevance of whether the age spread is 20 yrs. 30 yrs or 40?

[Graham111]

I use SA almost exclusively. Have found no good luck with CL. Anyone comment on their favorite hunting grounds? Thanks

[Droo89]

These babies.

My last report here I mentioned I was corresponding with a 20 yr old college student. At first, I thought she might be one of you. LOL. Well, I am glad to say that I was wrong. What she has turned out to be, is a curious, worldly, sexy, beautifully confident young muse. We met today for the first time. Coffee and conversation. Which was fun and lite and flirty and good. A kiss good bye. Any talk of sugar? Nope. Talk of meeting again? Yes, soon. Is she interested in me? Very much. Do I want to bed her? Very much so, but not yet. To be honest, I want to get to know her better. Kinda like we might be dating.

SB alt androgynous model. Horny, porn watching, nymph. Have met with her three times. No holds-holds-barred-straight up-let's fuck each other senseless meetings. I've paid for lunch, drinks, sex toys and the room. Nothing more. I've even offered, which she laughed at. She say's that she likes having a mature, drama free lover on the side.

SB local grad student. Amazing body, beautiful looks. Busy gal who knows the game. Talks a great game, but in my opinion, doesn't quite deliver. Have seen her twice and that will most likely be it. Interestingly enough, she is the only SB that has ever really talked sugar with me, which I think is her primary motive, which would be fine with me if she delivered in the way that I need. But, she doesn't.

SB art student. I don't want to talk about.

SB wannabe Playmate. Stunning. Complete freak in bed. Everything and anything is offered and encouraged. We've met several times over the past couple of months. If she met my emotional needs, she would be the one. Sugar? Has never talked of it and has always sent a sweet text saying thank you when she finds it.

I guess what I'm getting at, something we all know, is that this game is filled with a lot of different players. I know what I seek, I get to know my POTS before we even think about meeting. I love the seduction that's involved here, the anticipation.

As I write this, SB local girl just sent me a picture of herself after getting caught in the rain. Got to love it.

[Castlerae]

Oh. And I might be interviewed again! I received an email through my blog today from a writer. I'll keep you all posted on how that one turns out.

Night!

Mandy

One thing to remember about writers: you can never, ever trust them completely. As someone who used to write, I know that a good interviewer can get a subject to talk about just about anything. So, with that in mind, I do hope you will be very sure to keep your wits about you, lest you end up telling far more than you wish known about yourself to a complete stranger.

Just a bit of a warning, and hoping you do not need it.

[VAJimbo]

I saw the model girl this last week and she seems to have backed off even more, she is a beautiful young lady and shows some skills but, this time did not even give me a good kiss.

On to a new SB 18yo MILF, took her to a late lunch and then to FC, everything seemed to just flow, she kissed me so deeply passionately when she came and just collapsed into my arms that it just seemed so natural. She seems like a strong candidate for a long term, will see how things go.

Model girl just texted and asked when we will meet again, let her know that I did not think she was into me so will see what if anything she has to say.

SD4ME, use a prepaid card, it works that's what I have done and when the $ gone they can't charge any more to that card, some of the cards can be 'recharged' by adding $ like Wal-Mart's visa card but they charge a management fee of $3 a month, I think.

[EuroInCincy]

Golf,

I'm going to have to disagree with you on a number of things. The first being your comment that girls can't possibly actually dig older guys. Well, the first time I had an "older guy" I was 20 and he was 39. 19 year age difference and at that age it was the best sex I'd ever had! Yes, you all, like a fine wine get much better with age. Shortly after that experience I quit dating guys my own age.

Every sugar relationship is different and we should have fun on here enjoying the variety instead of saying what is or isn't sugar. Just my thoughts, on the topic.

I have to agree with Mandy here, I currently have 2 18 yr olds (ok mentally they are a tad older, but physically 18. And both wanted me because of me being older and being able to mentor, and being able to teach them tricks guys their age can't even fantasize about!)

One even said she is approaching this as a college course, where she will learn how to take care of her future husband.

[SubCmdr]

Golf,

I'm going to have to disagree with you on a number of things. The first being your comment that girls can't possibly actually dig older guys. Well, the first time I had an "older guy" I was 20 and he was 39. 19 year age difference and at that age it was the best sex I'd ever had! Yes, you all, like a fine wine get much better with age. Shortly after that experience I quit dating guys my own age.

Now, as some have heard me say "off line" maybe you're playing with a different kind of baby and not the type that you'd ever want to evolve to a longer-term relationship in which case you will not experience a girl looking for the above things. Your experience will simply be a sugar baby who just wants the money. Which, is ok if that's what you want, but don't discount Scott's experiences simply because they are different from your own.

Maybe this only happens when you start to get into the longer relationships which Scott, Nando and myself are in. Several guys on here are looking for that same thing, while others are just having fun playing around with 20 something's and either is fine. As I tell the sugars I coach. Just know your goal and it all follows from there.

Every sugar relationship is different and we should have fun on here enjoying the variety instead of saying what is or isn't sugar. Just my thoughts, on the topic.

The Big Brain Girl is in the House! I'm feeling the spirit and it's moving me! Preach Sister Preach! Can I get a witness! I've never quite seen a WWF beat down like that!

Game, Set and Motherfucking Match!

The Cmdr is scared of you girl!

[SbabyBlog]

Golf,

I'm going to have to disagree with you on a number of things. The first being your comment that girls can't possibly actually dig older guys. Well, the first time I had an "older guy" I was 20 and he was 39. 19 year age difference and at that age it was the best sex I'd ever had! Yes, you all, like a fine wine get much better with age. Shortly after that experience I quit dating guys my own age.

Then, there is the mentor fact that obviously a guy our own age can not give us. I immensely enjoy having dinner with Memories and having him challenge my thesis question and whatever research I've just read. It takes education and experience to be able to do that and again, that's not found in younger men. I wanted to chime in on this discussion the last time it came up but didn't have the time. Memories is teice my age and The Doctor is 17 years older than me. Although he is in better physical shape than most men my age and I do adore him for a number of reasons beyond the sugar.

This brings me to another issue. Where does it say you have to sleep with your baby every time you are together otherwise she's no longer an SB? I would have been screwed in December when I was very sick and The doctor brought me out so he could take care of me. It was physically impossible for me to play that weekend so instead he just wrapped me up, held me, and tried to make the pain go away.

Now, as some have heard me say "off line" maybe you're playing with a different kind of baby and not the type that you'd ever want to evolve to a longer-term relationship in which case you will not experience a girl looking for the above things. Your experience will simply be a sugar baby who just wants the money. Which, is ok if that's what you want, but don't discount Scott's experiences simply because they are different from your own.

As for the not providing sugar each time, it depends on the relationship. I certainly don't require it from The Doctor but what I did learn this weekend is that all I have to do is ask and he will oblige. I'll admit that's probably because I don't ask for a lot at any one time because I look for a long-term gain not short term.

Maybe this only happens when you start to get into the longer relationships which Scott, Nando and myself are in. Several guys on here are looking for that same thing, while others are just having fun playing around with 20 something's and either is fine. As I tell the sugars I coach. Just know your goal and it all follows from there.

If you want a ltr with a bit more educated girl then know your going to have to divulge some real info. We're too smart to put ourselves at risk. If you just want a toy for a month and then to move on, well keep your personal stuff to yourself.

Every sugar relationship is different and we should have fun on here enjoying the variety instead of saying what is or isn't sugar. Just my thoughts, on the topic.

[Hernando]

That would be me, haha, not really. It is easy to feel powerful with the ladies when you are speaking with dollars, which makes perfect cents! (Sorry, that was a poor attempt at a bon mot ). Seriously, we all have different motivations and styles and it is instructive to learn from our brothers and sister. WHen hot girls (HCB, HYB) act like they love us most of the time they are loving our Sugar, but as Mandy attests, there is a fondness, perhaps even love for one's Sugars. Each of us has to make the decision what works for our style and life circumstances. I personally need and want love, or the appearance of love in my sugar relationship, and have it! I am going to ride this wave as long as it lasts. I am not ready to offer to permanently go off the reservation with my SB, even if she would consider an IRL relationship which I doubt. How could a 20 something truly love IRL a 60 yr old? I agree with The Commander that emotional connection adds a great deal to an affair. I went through a multifucking phase for a few years and felt an emtyness after each encounter. Physically it was heady to bed a different girl frequently, but in the end I wanted more.

Scott seems to have the most success with HYBs and apparently a very liberal Sugar program (at least since Literal semiretired Welcome back Lit! I hope little Lit gets his mojo back) There is a true fondness that his SBs must have for him to donate their services as generously as they do. Perhaps he is younger and more appealing to the ladies as an IRL type BF. Young girls do have FWBs and affairs all the time without a negotiated fee for service. I am too old to attract a 20 yr old for free I guess.

Golf is correct in keeping these SBs at arm's length to strictly maintain a separation of one's RL and SL (real life and sugar life) We E-types take a risk getting E involved. And from a safety POV withholding info about yourself helps keep that separation particularly when dealing with Nando 1s.

But in the end, as long as we are in the game life is good! And I am "in love "