"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**Graham111** · 05-10-12 12:28

Well SB1 moved on after 4 months, the last 2 pretty intense. She was a Nando 1 and I got way too involved. Kept wondering what the hell I would do. After she basically moved into my hotel room for 2 weeks in a row I was addicted to the morning, noon, evening and night time fuck-a thons. And she is outstanding in bed. BTW - She says everything changed when she started taking Adderall. Became a rabbit. How do I get my wife to take it? But drama constantly. And constantly hinting for more $$. And I had capped the weekly allowance so the more the merrier for me. Which was really unfair in hindsight. Fortunately old boyfriend came back, threw $$ at her, but said get rid of me as she disappeared a few times with me. So sad to see her go but in the long term I am not leaving my wife for her, I cannot give her $2000 a month to support her, and while I ignored her disfunctionality for the sex as a fulltime gig she would have driven me crazy if I ever came out of the orgasm induced fog I was in. But would I?

Revving back up the previous contacts. We shall see.

**Magic Rat** · 05-10-12 11:31

It is great to see the recent board activity, although some of us haven't had much to contribute lately. It's certainly nice to see new brothers in arms on here, some just starting on the SB journey.

I have made an observation over the past few months that apparently finds some confirmation here. To me it seems we're almost in the Seinfeld bizarro world, where we guys are the needy, emotional ones and the women are into it more for the sex. What the hell happened here? I put myself in that category as it's pretty easy to find sex in this day and age, but I desire intimacy and passion or the sex just seems empty somehow.

As far as an update on my status, things have worked themselves out with my ATF. It appears I'm in Hernando territory with the monogamy aspect from both parties, although our time together is nowhere near as frequent as his. One thing I've learned is if you care about your SB (s) , keep their feelings in mind as well. If they get emotionally attached, think about how they must feel knowing that we're married and we're with another woman every night. No easy answers there I know, but I've been surprised by some recent comments by my ATF in that regard.

Keep those cards and letters coming in!

'Rat

**JoesParty** · 05-10-12 10:36

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

" My ATF calls our time together "vacations"."

This is the essence of our favorite avocation. Hobbying or deeper involvement sugar dating is a vacation from real life. The problem occurs when the lines blur for some of us. Many friends here are able to maintain that NSA attitude which does not imply no passion or emotional involvement, but does mandate keeping a line between real life and Sugar. My ATF one and only HYCB has inspired too deep a committment in me and I find myself thinking IRL with her instead of ORL (outside of real life ). She seems a lot more skilled at keeping that line in place. I am the more needy one. So be careful my bros and sis to keep that line in place.

" My ATF is a dancer "

Joe, be careful about strippers who frequently are Nando 1 s. I know profiling is not always good but can you really take the stripper mentality out of the strip lifestyle? Now, I am assuming by "dancer" she is a stripper. Perhaps I am wrong and she dances for the Bolshoi Ballet? I apologise if my assumption is incorrect.

These are both excellent points, and I'd like to think that I have considered them. On being "a lot more skilled in keeping that line [IRL vs. ORL] in place," my ATF is very skilled at that. Like you, Hernando, I am the needy one in that "relationship." She definitely keeps me in check. It appears the roles are reversed, however, in the current USB (unemployed SB) situation I have. I need to have a heart to heart with her. I thought about just disappearing, but she is a nice girl, and I'd feel bad about that.

As for dancers, a Russian ballerina would be nice, but you are correct that I am using the PC term for strippers. Again, the ATF is a dancer, and she is nowhere near Nando1 territory. She's not a model citizen (who among us is, anyway?) , but she's employed, has stable kids, no drugs, etc. USB is closer to Nando1, but still not there. My newest interest, SB23, is a dancer but has a regular "day job" at a day care, so I am hopeful but remain cautious.

**Hernando** · 05-10-12 10:12

" My ATF calls our time together "vacations"."

This is the essence of our favorite avocation. Hobbying or deeper involvement sugar dating is a vacation from real life. The problem occurs when the lines blur for some of us. Many friends here are able to maintain that NSA attitude which does not imply no passion or emotional involvement, but does mandate keeping a line between real life and Sugar. My ATF one and only HYCB has inspired too deep a committment in me and I find myself thinking IRL with her instead of ORL (outside of real life ). She seems a lot more skilled at keeping that line in place. I am the more needy one. So be careful my bros and sis to keep that line in place.

" My ATF is a dancer "

Joe, be careful about strippers who frequently are Nando 1 s. I know profiling is not always good but can you really take the stripper mentality out of the strip lifestyle? Now, I am assuming by "dancer" she is a stripper. Perhaps I am wrong and she dances for the Bolshoi Ballet? I apologise if my assumption is incorrect.

**JoesParty** · 05-10-12 08:45

Ok, maybe it's not quite that bad, but my overnight with Unemployed Sugar Baby (USB), though very nice, was not without drama.

I picked her up Monday after work, and she looked absolutely amazing. Her hot, form fitting dress was just about the perfect mix of sexy and classy, and her fuck me pumps were whispering my name all night. We stopped at the hotel so I could change, and as much as I wanted to get down to business right there, we had dinner reservations nearby that kept us on our best behavior. Dinner was wonderful--great conversation, flirty looks and touches, amazing food. We passed on dessert because we were both stuffed, but also because we were both eager to return to the room. The indoor fun began almost as soon as the hotel room door closed behind us. Oh. My. God. This girl is an absolute freak. I have to admit I was a little intimidated by her in the first few minutes; I'm good at following directions, but she was shouting out orders like a drill sergeant. Not normally my cup of tea, but since it was clear every possible option was on the menu, I happily got into it. And this is not to imply that the entire show was about her. She was very concerned with ensuring that I was having a good time as well.

After a marathon of a session, we decided to relax for a while. She wanted to get out of the room again, so we walked over to the nearby casino for some drinks and people watching (neither of us is much of a gambler). It was there that the trouble, if you want to call it that, started. She clearly had had a good time to this point in the evening, as had I, and while thanking me for arranging everything, she said,"I really like you, and I'm worried about your home life, because you seem unhappy. I would hate to lose you."

Given that we were in a public place, I tried to avoid a scene, but I was astonished. I am not unhappy at home, and I have consciously tried to avoid giving her the impression that I am. And she would hate to lose me? I admit that I look for an emotional connection with a SB, but this is moving way too fast, way too early. We've only been meeting up about a month.

I think I was able to handle it diplomatically at the time by trying to acknowledge her feelings while noting that she really shouldn't be concerned. But it put a damper on the rest of the night, at least for me. And I'm not so sure she got the message. I like spending time with her (and did I mention that she's a freak in bed?), but we will have to discuss this before we meet again. As much as I like the GFE, I can't have a clinger. There is absolutely no circumstance under which USB could ever, ever become anything more than a SB.

On another front, and perhaps in a bit of fortuitous timing, I had a second M&G with the 23 year-old hot SB (SB23). We met at a sushi lounge that she picked for its more intimate setting, and it turned out to be a nice choice. Some of you may recall that I was a bit concerned about her age and possible immaturity, but every time I talk with her, those concerns subside even more. She definitely has her head on straight. The conversation was very nice, if a little forward. She has said she hasn't done this before, though I'm not so sure I believe that, and she wanted to know what I was looking for and what she could expect. I gave an honest, straightforward answer, as did she to my probing questions. The topic of an allowance came up, and I think I avoided pinning myself down about as well as I could. In the end, I think we both have similar expectations, and I see things progressing very nicely.

SB23 told me at the end of our first M&G last week that, if we met again, she had a "surprise" for me. Honestly, I had forgotten all about that, but she announced last night that she's a dancer at a local club. Check please. My ATF is a dancer, and I tend to gravitate to dancers for some reason. So, it wasn't that much of a "surprise," but I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to tell me. Overall, the evening was very nice. We had good conversation, and as the night progressed, she kept sliding closer to me on the couch, touching me in that flirty way that a girl touches a guy when she laughs or wants to emphasize something she's saying. It was very cute.

If forced to chose between the two (and I eventually want to focus on only one), I think SB23 has much more promise than USB. SB23 has a couple of jobs, which earns significant bonus points, and she doesn't exhibit any of the signs (that, in retrospect, I should have seen in USB) that she's prone to overly-emotional involvements. So, wish me luck as I try to cool things off with USB and ramp things up with SB23.

As always, I enjoy reading the commentary here, so keep up the good work.

Regards,

Joe

**AliasSM** · 05-10-12 05:22

Originally Posted by BigTigger [View Original Post]

I see Alias has stumbled upon the FFG phenomenon. It's always good to have one on speed dial. .

BigTigger,

You are correct. I was complaining a few months ago about being a BBW magnet, and I have tried out 3 of them now over the course of my SD experiences. The sex was just OK with 2 of them. The 3rd is a little distance for me to drive, but she is so glad to see me when I do make the trip that it makes it all worthwhile. She will just continue to have orgasm after orgasm during our sessions and makes me feel like the king of the FC. She is only 21, but a lot of women twice her age could take lessons from her about how to enjoy and appreciate sex. She is as nice as can be, just has the problem with being about a hundred pounds overweight (yes. Probably a hundred pounds). I never thought I'd say it, but I will likely return for more just because she makes me feel so good, and that is what this hobby is all about anyway.

So yes, I will keep her on "speed dial" and gladly service her whenever I'm in the mood.

Alias

**GeorgeRichmond** · 05-09-12 22:43

Originally Posted by F Scott [View Original Post]

George, welcome to the Bowl. It sounds like you may have had a little experience under your belt already, but as we all can attest, you never stop learning or polishing your game. Nando and the rest have commented eloquently on the issue of sugar, monogamy, personal revelations etc, so I will refrain from adding my two cents with one exception, which is to second the cautionary statement about revealing anything To a Nando 1. There is just no upside in it. It will not engender trust, closer feelings, greater intimacy or anything like that. The only thing it does is expose you to potentially catastrophic trouble. Someone mentioned the difficulty in maintaining their alter-ego, and while I agree to a point, it is also paramount to understand the level of baby you are playing with. If you can't stay under deep cover, don't mess with the 1's.

Scott

Scott, this is why I come everyday (for past 2 months) to check what's happening in SD world. Great to see your comment. You are right, I already had a little experience, one night (went very fast. It was late in the night so. All happened in short time). I want SB to prepare for the date. If they are not then I feel it is not a good date and SB is not into it. So my SB#1 did get minus point. SB#2 little more weight than expected but she has cute and innocent face. She prepared very well for the date. I like that part.

I am attracted to SB#2 though I like slim / average girls. First meet went well. She opened up after gift but want to take it slow. May be multiple dates. Looks like. Today had dinner with SB#3, little lost, not bad, in 20s. SHe was very well dressed for the occasion but kept the distance. I gave her gift as she drove all the way here. But hopefully more in the books.

I am learning to Polish it and gain from experiences from you all. Truly this is one of the best place to understand and learn how to enjoy this side of the world. I hope we have one day SD-SB bash party. For all the members here. So far I am hiding my information to be safe. My biggest problem is finding reasons to go to these dates. And some are out of town. So they do take 4-5 hours with travel. Finding reasons are becoming tough though.

More to come.

**Castlerae** · 05-09-12 22:21

Everyone's updating their status, listing their newest conquests (or potential ones) , so I thought I'd bring in my own experiences. After multiple casts with no nibbles, one took the hook in her mouth enough to reply. After a few back-and-forth messages, she asked me what I wanted in a relationship. I was honest and told her I'd like to meet her, get to know her, find out how we 'got on', then move to a more physical relationship if things worked out. Now she's talking about not wanting a 'serious' relationship, so I'm guessing sex isn't in her plans. Might see her anyway, as her pic is pretty decent looking (and in hopes of changing her mind, of course!). About the same time, I got an approach from a woman living nearby. Not sure she's my cup of tea, as her self-description says "average", but the weight she gives and the size of certain other parts of her anatomy make me think she's going to be another "BBW". Guess I can set up a short meet of some sort to find out.

So that's the story from the sugar gulag. Enjoy your good fortunes, my fellow fishermen.

**BigTigger** · 05-09-12 20:49

I see Alias has stumbled upon the FFG phenomenon. It's always good to have one on speed dial. .

Originally Posted by AliasSM [View Original Post]

I met last week with one of my BBWs from a few months ago. She has stayed in touch and seems to really appreciate the sex, more so than most SBs in this game. Sure she appreciates the money also, but the sexual gratification is extremely high for her. I like that! She is not my body type and would not consider seeing her again if not for the fact that she is genuinely good in bed and totally into the act when we are together.

**BigTigger** · 05-09-12 20:47

Greetings All.

I'm not exactly back, but I wasn't exactly gone. I've been trying to keep up with the forum and it's great to see the board so active. I've bounced around between a few SBs who've been keeping me busy. Had a couple that took up more time than others but those have all moved on for one reason or another. Now I'm back to spreading my suga around until I settle on 1 or 2 consistent favs. Right now locally, one Korean. 3 African Americans, one Caucasian with Red Hair-blue eyes and bountiful booty, still have the NJ SB (seeing once a month). Oh and I replaced my anytime bootycall FFG (Freaky Fat Girl) with another FFG (both are Caucasian) , this one has her own place and fewer mental issues. LOL.

As you can see, I am still working in my niche area (SBs who are ok with most of the funds being spent on activities together as opposed to allowance). All in all, the market is still great. I'm hoping soon I can join the party here again participating and being more informative. But keep up the good work, I'm enjoying the read. And last but not least, welcome Mandy!

Thanks for asking about me Scott, I appreciate that. I startled me back into the reality of being a contributing member as opposed to a voyeuristic freeloader.

BigTigg

**F Scott** · 05-09-12 18:30

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

I have never had bad sex with anyone, some are just better than others.

Nando,

Yet again, you strike to the heart of the matter. Sometimes I wish I weren't Irish, and so could be a little more pithy. I also agree with your statement that entering into any new relationship is a combination of anticipation and anxiety. We just don't know how things will turn out until they turn out. Hope for the best, and give the baby a chance, or maybe two. What did Joe say a while back, something about it being just like real life, only we both know it's pure fantasy? To me, that encapsulates the reality that it is both ours and the baby's responsibility to preserve and contribute to the relationship / illusion. My ATF calls our time together "vacations". I like that.

Scott

**Hernando** · 05-09-12 17:46

Drummer, you bring up a topic near and dear to my heart.

I have never had bad sex with anyone, some experiences are just better than others.

So, a new relationship is full of anticipation but also anxiety. I anticipate a great time but am not turned off by anything except utter disconnection. For a SB who is courting you as a pot SD, she should put some energy and emotion into it as should you. So I would give the relationship time to grow and for feelings to develop. There is a point at which you might just not feel any connection and call it a day even though you are getting laid. To me a SB is a long term committment and I approach selecting her as I would an IRL GF.

I would trade E connection for experience and skill any time. Also extreme sexual skill and comfort with sex suggest a high degree of experience and I am personally more interested in a partner I can mold as a SB rather than a pro who has been around the block many times.

**F Scott** · 05-09-12 17:07

Originally Posted by Atldrummer [View Original Post]

After thinking looking at my last post I started thinking about sex and the SB / SD relationship. So, here's a few questions for the group:

Do you expect the sex to be fantastic the first time with your SB?

Do you judge the future of the relationship on the quality of the first-time sex experience?

Do you have patience to let it grow with time?

Interested to hear your opinions,

Drummer

Drummer,

Sounds like you are having fun in the Bowl. I was interested to read about one of your babies that you just hang out with, no sex. I am thinking I might suggest that to my Irish Cherokee. I think I would enjoy her company, and she certainly is easy to look at. My question to you: do you have in the back (or further forward) of your mind that things might / should progress towards a more physical relationship? In other words, is that the long-term goal here, or are you really content with things as they are?

Now, on to your questions:

Yes, I do expect the sex to be fabulous the first time, but I do put some effort into things, and try to make it as fantastic for her as well. With one or two exceptions, it has in fact been pretty darn excellent. Would I stop seeing someone if it were less than great? It depends. If I felt there was the possibility of something more substantial growing between us intellectually or emotionally, I would definitely give it some time. You have to think that the babies can be nervous or off their games from time to time just like us.

A case in point is my naughty Brit. The first time with her was awkward to say the least. She was shy, and a little too reserved in my opinion, so I began to feel unsure as well, and instead of passion, it was more like duty. Top that off with one of her cats coming in to the bedroom and scratching me on the ass and you get a picture of a small train wreck, which would not be inaccurate. It actually was pretty funny in hindsight, but still. Our next meeting was just for breakfast, where we had a fantastic time talking and laughing, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Having said this, I don't know if I would have pursued anything further if we had not had that nice breakfast. What made me agree to that I can't really say. A hunch maybe, or just an addiction to her accent. Probably the latter. If our next time in the chamber had paralleled the first, however, that would have been the end. Fortunately for me, this was when the classic "fuck me harder, I'm your sl*t" was coined. Good Lord!

Keep up the good work, you all!

Scott

**TravelinSD** · 05-09-12 10:46

After thinking looking at my last post I started thinking about sex and the SB / SD relationship. So, here's a few questions for the group:

Do you expect the sex to be fantastic the first time with your SB?

Do you judge the future of the relationship on the quality of the first-time sex experience?

Do you have patience to let it grow with time?

Interested to hear your opinions,

Drummer

**TravelinSD** · 05-09-12 10:40

Hi Everyone, I've been traveling for business the last couple of weeks so haven't had time to look in here. I figured I'd give a quick update and put my 2 cents in on some of the threads.

To Mandy's NSA Impossible thread, I totally agree. Harking back to the features of an SB relationship having a social / emotional component and longevity, you can't have that type of relationship without strings becoming attached. If it's just sex for money what you really have is an escort.

Related topic of monogamy in the SB relationship. I don't think it should be expected. Especially if you're playing the the 18-25 or so arena. It's just not fair to expect that from a HYCB type gal. If it happens at the SB request, great, but I'd be realistic and not expect that to last. Experience has taught me that. And also that it is hard to keep jealousy out of the equation. It's something that I know was part of my last SB relationship demise and that I need to keep working on. I look at Mandy as my mentor and goal in this journey.

On sharing, since my divorce, I've pretty much been an open book on M&Gs. Even before that I was pretty open with my former SB from the get-go, mostly because she was open with me. You can't have a long-term relationship without getting into the details of the other person's life. That's what forms the connection. Even in my escort days I found a lot of openness in both directions on many occasions.

As far as my recent SB experiences they are definitely getting interesting and also a bit confusing. Here's the recap:

Spent a great evening a couple of Saturdays ago with a 23 yo cutie. Couple episodes of Homeland at my place then some nice playtime. This was our 2nd meeting. The playtime was pretty good, but still not spectacular. It may get better with time. She is a little flaky, frustrating for me, but I've found it just comes with the 20-something territory.

I have developed another relationship with one of my former escort contacts. She's no longer "working". The social contact is good, she's a super sweet person and we have a pretty good friendship going. She also happens to be the hottest, most beautiful woman I've personally had contact with. I mean a 10! The sugar comes in the form of a variety of situations she finds herself in and needs assistance. So far the assistance / sex ratio is pretty much in line. The only problem is the sex is really mediocre at best. Beautiful to look at, the sex is at times fairly hot, but kind of distant. Not sure what to do with this one.

I do have one other relationship that's about three months running. Nice girl and fun to go out with. No sex, but also no expectation or mention of an allowance or money. Of course I pay for dinner, drinks, entertainment, etc. It's turned into a great friendship and company, so I'm currently comfortable with it.

Another couple of M&Gs, but nothing of interest coming out of them so far.

Anyway, as most on this board, I'm having fun looking, but still would like to find "the special one (or two)"

Congrats to those that have found Nirvana, and good luck to those who are still looking,

Drummer