Escort Reports

**Howard5354** · 03-31-12 21:06

Coochie eater was right. We have someone special and we go after these unproven duds and we complain when we get ripped of. I met a lady on sugar daddy and she was smoking hot. She sent me pics of her ass and I wanted to nail this pussy so bad, so we arranged to meet at 12. So I drove about 50 miles to the hotel but she did not show up and called me asking where it was. This was pure bullshit. So I departed and thought about Mercades. I called her and she said sure come right over. I forgot how tight her sweet little body is and how much I liked her personality. She gave me enough good pussy to last for a month and she knows how to fuck and better still she enjoys it. I signed up for an hour but when we checked the clock I had been in her good pussy for close two. Brothers, you have to be in shape to handle this good pussy. She is the best that you are going to find on or off back page. She charges 80 for hh. 160 for the full hour. I signed up for an hour but was hitting that good pussy for 1. 5. You are missing some real good pussy. Just ask Choochie.

Her number is 608 443-6138.

Her back page post is here somewhere and on back page.

She told me that you mongers are not showing up to hit this pussy. Now while I like it because she is always available, the girl is an escort and has to make some money or she will leave, so give her some action. I am definitely going back again and again. But I am a pussy hunter so I will continue to hunt new pussy but I will go back to see Mercedes so she can survive and stay in Madison.

**Davidonecall** · 03-31-12 17:44

Coochie you are right. If the provider is close or even better no complain. Now if any of the girls that you know make a trip to Chicago or close let me know. I rather visit someone that is coming from you. I know some providers like to make weekend trip to other citys because they don't worry about seeing someone the know. Thanks DOC.

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

Maybe crazier, I dunno. But I do know this. I will do anything to get laid. Okay, just about anything: I do have some limits. Of course, those limits are disappearing so quickly I barely have time to violate them. Anyway, one of the things I've done for free / reduced price coochie is to place escort ads.

Now escorts / wh0res being the kind of people they are, invariably tell me the ads aren't working, and that their phone isn't ringing, and that people are calling but no one is showing. But when the ad comes down, man they are calling me asking to post them again. Hmmm? The ad brings them nothing, yet they can tell the day it stops working?

I don't care about their bullshit as long as I'm getting some discount coochie or maybe a freebie thrown at me from time to time.

And I do know this:

As crazy as they are, h00kers are people. And as people, they have various motivations besides selling pussy for cash. I have been posting for this one girl for about 10 years. I actually met her when she was 17 and stripping in a club using a fake I'd. I nailed her when she was 18, so NO, I didn't violate any child abuse laws. God knows how many people did.

Anyway, this babe is now 28 and has aspirations of becoming a professional, as in a medical professional. No, not the fucking CNA bullshit, but a licensed, full-fledged, medical practitioner (as in doctor, dentist, physician's assistant kind of professional). She gets straight A's, is active in student government and is considered one of the best students where she attends.

And she dates.

Life aint right unless she's turning tricks. That's just the way she is. I told her that she'll be forty, making six figures, on some board somewhere, and she'll still have to sell pussy for money just to feel right. She laughed and agreed.

So does she want her picture used in her ad? Well my fellow mongers, take a picture of yourself, post it on backpage with an ad that reads: Hey, I buy pussy for cash! Middle aged white male. 6'11".210 lbs, great shape. Love to eat pussy and shove my fingers up assholes. Nice guy, but into verbal abuse as I approach orgasm. Prefers uncovered but will pay for a blowjob with a rubber with some negotiation and bitching. Please call me at 414-555-h0re. Ask for Phil Pseudonym.

So do I post ads with fake pics for this girl? Yep, I do. Typically I find a picture of a black girl from another city / state on backpage that's similar to her, then blur out the eyes. My girl is gorgeous with a killer body, so when you get to the door you will not know or you will forget that the pic doesn't match exactly. Besides that, this girl gets into her sessions, so you will have the time of your life. But when the cop who lives next door sees her in the grocery store, they won't be any wiser as to what her avocation is.

Does this excuse this? I guess not. Let's face it. If the picture looked like Whoopi Goldberg, but Beyonce opened the door, not a one of you would b1tch about fake pics. It's when the pic looks like Jada Fire and Precious opens the door that we get a little pissed. No one minds the bait and switch if the switch is better than the bait.

So guys, I guess all I can say is "Quit bitching." We're mongers working with wh0res. If you pick up a scorpion and pet it like a puppy dog, you're going to get stung. Use tineye or google pics and if it pisses you off enough, call the b1tch up and say "What the fuck? Your pics are spread all over the internet like shit on pig farm. Who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid? I'm posting that you're a fake, and I hope your tits drop off." I did exactly that when some "see you in Tiajuana" posted pics of Lacey Duvalle on her ad. I mean really. That would be like me posting a picture of Brad Pitt as myself. (Honestly, we're both white, have blue eyes, and sport beards, so I guess I can use his pic.)

So enough of my confession and rant. Use the tools available to you and bust the bitches. Beyond that? As an offender myself, I have no answers.

**Coochie Eater** · 03-31-12 15:08

Originally Posted by Too Nice [View Original Post]

Question, are all the fake pic escorts ugly as shit, or are some of them attractive?

Maybe crazier, I dunno. But I do know this. I will do anything to get laid. Okay, just about anything: I do have some limits. Of course, those limits are disappearing so quickly I barely have time to violate them. Anyway, one of the things I've done for free / reduced price coochie is to place escort ads.

Now escorts / wh0res being the kind of people they are, invariably tell me the ads aren't working, and that their phone isn't ringing, and that people are calling but no one is showing. But when the ad comes down, man they are calling me asking to post them again. Hmmm? The ad brings them nothing, yet they can tell the day it stops working?

I don't care about their bullshit as long as I'm getting some discount coochie or maybe a freebie thrown at me from time to time.

And I do know this:

As crazy as they are, h00kers are people. And as people, they have various motivations besides selling pussy for cash. I have been posting for this one girl for about 10 years. I actually met her when she was 17 and stripping in a club using a fake I'd. I nailed her when she was 18, so NO, I didn't violate any child abuse laws. God knows how many people did.

Anyway, this babe is now 28 and has aspirations of becoming a professional, as in a medical professional. No, not the fucking CNA bullshit, but a licensed, full-fledged, medical practitioner (as in doctor, dentist, physician's assistant kind of professional). She gets straight A's, is active in student government and is considered one of the best students where she attends.

And she dates.

Life aint right unless she's turning tricks. That's just the way she is. I told her that she'll be forty, making six figures, on some board somewhere, and she'll still have to sell pussy for money just to feel right. She laughed and agreed.

So does she want her picture used in her ad? Well my fellow mongers, take a picture of yourself, post it on backpage with an ad that reads: Hey, I buy pussy for cash! Middle aged white male. 6'11".210 lbs, great shape. Love to eat pussy and shove my fingers up assholes. Nice guy, but into verbal abuse as I approach orgasm. Prefers uncovered but will pay for a blowjob with a rubber with some negotiation and bitching. Please call me at 414-555-h0re. Ask for Phil Pseudonym.

So do I post ads with fake pics for this girl? Yep, I do. Typically I find a picture of a black girl from another city / state on backpage that's similar to her, then blur out the eyes. My girl is gorgeous with a killer body, so when you get to the door you will not know or you will forget that the pic doesn't match exactly. Besides that, this girl gets into her sessions, so you will have the time of your life. But when the cop who lives next door sees her in the grocery store, they won't be any wiser as to what her avocation is.

Does this excuse this? I guess not. Let's face it. If the picture looked like Whoopi Goldberg, but Beyonce opened the door, not a one of you would b1tch about fake pics. It's when the pic looks like Jada Fire and Precious opens the door that we get a little pissed. No one minds the bait and switch if the switch is better than the bait.

So guys, I guess all I can say is "Quit bitching." We're mongers working with wh0res. If you pick up a scorpion and pet it like a puppy dog, you're going to get stung. Use tineye or google pics and if it pisses you off enough, call the b1tch up and say "What the fuck? Your pics are spread all over the internet like shit on pig farm. Who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid? I'm posting that you're a fake, and I hope your tits drop off." I did exactly that when some "see you in Tiajuana" posted pics of Lacey Duvalle on her ad. I mean really. That would be like me posting a picture of Brad Pitt as myself. (Honestly, we're both white, have blue eyes, and sport beards, so I guess I can use his pic.)

So enough of my confession and rant. Use the tools available to you and bust the bitches. Beyond that? As an offender myself, I have no answers.

**Andy54** · 03-30-12 21:50

Originally Posted by Howard5354 [View Original Post]

How long for the $70. 00? How is her body as she does not post pics of her body.

That was for 30 minutes. I thought she had a great body. Very short and petite. 34b, is what She told me, but a very nice 34b, I would have guessed a C

**Too Nice** · 03-30-12 17:58

Originally Posted by Ontheroad [View Original Post]

There seems to be lots more fake pics that usual on BP with ridiculously hot models.

What sucks just as bad, you ask fake pic escort what she looks like and she says "didn't you see my pics?"."Yes I did see them, which why I'm fucking asking you what you look like because fuck, you're clearly not the escort shown in your ad!"

The escorts who post real pics must be pissed, because these fake pic bitches are ruining the fucking market.

Question, are all the fake pic escorts ugly as shit, or are some of them attractive?

**Ontheroad** · 03-30-12 10:21

There seems to be lots more fake pics that usual on BP with ridiculously hot models.

Here is one:

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...526-21/5743547

I saw here anyway. I wasn't expecting the girl in the pics, but the girl that was there was the exact opposite. She was very petite with A cups and she was black.

Like I said, I wasn't surprised, but to make matters worse, her service was terrible. Her list of no's was much longer than the list of yes's.

I've had worse, but I should have left upon seeing her just out of the principle of not rewarding the working girls for using fake pics.

**Howard5354** · 03-30-12 05:36

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

Yep, that's the problem. Too much new pussy. We find someone like Destiny / Mercades who is so fucking special, but we have to go get ripped off by some newcomer who doesn't cum across with the goods no how. I love new pussy, I love new black pussy. I love hittin' something that I've never hit before. And I've had so many lackluster to bad experiences, I wonder why I don't just stick to jacking off.

But mostly I wonder why I don't stick with a provider who's cute, sexy, shapely, gets into sex, cums hard, squirts, kisses, is clean and honest.

The answer? Because being a monger is fucking CRAZY! I'm nuts, cuckoo, bugs, daffy, touched, goofy, fucked up, squirrelly, bone headed, dippy, dingy, deranged, and mental.

How many of our posts are about being ripped off and dissatisfied, yet we ignore the providers that could eliminate each and every one of those posts.

Get the straight jacket, Ma. I'm going mongering.

Its simple. Once new pussy is discovered there is a mad dash by the mongers of the world. The ladies know that their pussy is in high demand so they begin to rush or slack trying to make all that new loot and the new good pussy soon become old pussy. All the mongers hitting it stretches it. This is the main reason I book all my appointments before 10 AM in the morning. A provider told me that her pussy is real tight in the morning. The last man to hit the pussy gets loose pussy.

Next, there is a small window of success for the newly discovered good pussy, three, perhaps four years or so, then it either retires, gets married, or gets knocked up. So the monger is like an 16th Century explorer. Always has to be searching for new and better land. It is a never ending process. The good pussy I used to hit five years ago have all vanished. In short, there is an expiration date on everything, including pussy.

**Coochie Eater** · 03-29-12 12:37

Originally Posted by Howard5354 [View Original Post]

I reported on destiny last year. I hit and ate that pussy like a wild man and she came hard. I have seen her twice and never go back for a A third time. Too much new pussy!

Yep, that's the problem. Too much new pussy. We find someone like Destiny / Mercades who is so fucking special, but we have to go get ripped off by some newcomer who doesn't cum across with the goods no how. I love new pussy, I love new black pussy. I love hittin' something that I've never hit before. And I've had so many lackluster to bad experiences, I wonder why I don't just stick to jacking off.

But mostly I wonder why I don't stick with a provider who's cute, sexy, shapely, gets into sex, cums hard, squirts, kisses, is clean and honest.

The answer? Because being a monger is fucking CRAZY! I'm nuts, cuckoo, bugs, daffy, touched, goofy, fucked up, squirrelly, bone headed, dippy, dingy, deranged, and mental.

How many of our posts are about being ripped off and dissatisfied, yet we ignore the providers that could eliminate each and every one of those posts.

Get the straight jacket, Ma. I'm going mongering.

**Howard5354** · 03-29-12 06:49

Originally Posted by Heialak [View Original Post]

I agree that Mercades is a great girl to see with a great menu with great prices. I saw her last year when she was going by Destiny and being accused of working with LE. I thought I reported that last year, but I don't know if I did for sure.

I reported on destiny last year. I hit and ate that pussy like a wild man and she came hard. I have seen her twice and never go back for a A third time. Too much new pussy!

**Howard5354** · 03-29-12 06:47

Originally Posted by Heialak [View Original Post]

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...oll-28/5519544

Said she would do. 7$ with GFE and BBBJ and swallow. Has a got a real strong accent.

I saw this girl and she was awesome. She is older than she advertises, but her body and attidtude are younger than she advertises. Very nice!

How long for the $70. 00? How is her body as she does not post pics of her body.

**Howard5354** · 03-29-12 06:45

Originally Posted by Heialak [View Original Post]

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...ban-22/5699137

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...eal-22/5379141

Took a while but she agreed to 70 anytime I call her back. GFE. When I first asked she wanted $.25. She looked a little scarey to me with the afro, but she said her hair is straight now like the one ad. Not sure why she would post the one with the afro when she has the much nicer looking pictures available in my opinion.

Went to see this girl and the pictures are either fake or really old. The pictures with her in the bikini aren't even close. The pictures with the afro could be close if you ad 20 or 30 pounds or more. She is the first girl that I have ever walked out on.

I passed on her.

**Andy54** · 03-28-12 21:12

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...ban-22/5699137

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...eal-22/5379141

Took a while but she agreed to 70 anytime I call her back. GFE. When I first asked she wanted $.25. She looked a little scarey to me with the afro, but she said her hair is straight now like the one ad. Not sure why she would post the one with the afro when she has the much nicer looking pictures available in my opinion.

Went to see this girl and the pictures are either fake or really old. The pictures with her in the bikini aren't even close. The pictures with the afro could be close if you ad 20 or 30 pounds or more. She is the first girl that I have ever walked out on.

**Andy54** · 03-28-12 21:07

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...oll-28/5519544

Said she would do. 7$ with GFE and BBBJ and swallow. Has a got a real strong accent.

I saw this girl and she was awesome. She is older than she advertises, but her body and attidtude are younger than she advertises. Very nice!

**Andy54** · 03-28-12 21:02

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

Ok muthah fuckahs, I'm telling you now, Mercades is the best. She's got a petite well toned little body with just the right amount of ass. I LOVE DATY with this girl because 1.) She's clean and sweet and nice. 2.) She's got a good size love bump that fits nicely into my mouth. 3.) She cums really hard when she cums and is fun to chase around the bed, and 4.) She squirts!

Perky little tea cup titties, beautiful skin tone, and really cares about getting your nut as well as hers. She's cute too.

So if you like black girls, this girl's for you. If you don't like black girls, go fuck yourself.

Cooch

I agree that Mercades is a great girl to see with a great menu with great prices. I saw her last year when she was going by Destiny and being accused of working with LE. I thought I reported that last year, but I don't know if I did for sure.

**Ggloo2001** · 03-25-12 23:45

If your thinking of checking elsewhere, stay away from beloit. I have been ripped off there for 3 years, every call has promised heaven and they take your money and run. There may be a good one somewhere in beloit, but after 3 years and 6 payments I quit. The last one wanted 80 and would do 69 oral and anything I wanted. We met at a motel and she had no cash so I gave her the room rent, she got the room and then I went in. Wouldn't do oral without a condom, but expected me to do oral with nothing. I ended the session and dropped the rest of the cash and then she told me that I was to pay for the room and give her 80 bucks and she wanted more. I should have jacked off and gave the salvation army 50 and I would have felt good and been ahead in the cash dept. Beloit, don't go there. Stay in Madison.