Massage Parlor Reports

[Niteluvr]

So yesterday I had some extra cash just burning a hole in my pocket. Felt like doing a little mongering so I did my research, found a few agency providers I liked, and called the first agency on my list. Fail. I'm not going to trash talk the agency but the woman on the phone was a total. I ended up totally pissed and went on an AMP search. Of course I should have known better.

My anger at the agency cooze took me and my pocket of cash to the Gold Spa where I paid the house fee then pissed away the rest on a tight-bodied hottie named "Julie". Smoking hot body, tan & very-nice looking see-cups with awesome nips and barely-noticeable implants. She was cool and fun and hot and I hit it twice. Second time after I gave her a massage. That's the good.

The bad: All of it. I KNOW this place is over-priced but I wanted what I wanted. First thing "Julie" says after I paid the house fee (and laid out the rest saying,"I don't negotiate") she said,"Oh that not enough to fuuuuh". It went on like this for a few go 'rounds before I got up, walked towards the cash. Grabbed it. And said: "Listen, I'm giving you forty bucks and then I'm leaving. I'm tired of this dicking around. That's what I brought, I'm out of there." She freaked.

Not like, freaked on me. She just looked scared. She said,"No! You stay! You stay!" and got on her knees in front of me and started to tease. I took control there. She did her thing with my hands behind her head and then off to the races. I pretty much bossed her around after taking charge. I've never done that before. Always been passive. It's the reports I've read on here from guys who don't take bullshit from these ho's. Especially the Asian ones. Who gave me the inspiration to do it. WIN.

So. Julie at Gold Spa. Damage $$$. Looks = 6 (cute face, horrible teeth & breath) /Body = 8 or 9 easily / Attitude (pre-adjustment) : 2 / Attitude (post-adjustment) : 6.

Never going there again. Massage wasn't even a consideration. Then again. I knew that.

Merry Christmas!

So, you gave her approximately $220-$240 just for the FS part and she told you it wasn't enough to fuck?

[BrokenZipper]

So yesterday I had some extra cash just burning a hole in my pocket. Felt like doing a little mongering so I did my research, found a few agency providers I liked, and called the first agency on my list. Fail. I'm not going to trash talk the agency but the woman on the phone was a total *****. I ended up totally pissed and went on an AMP search. Of course I should have known better.

My anger at the agency cooze took me and my pocket of cash to the Gold Spa where I paid the house fee then pissed away the rest on a tight-bodied hottie named "Julie". Smoking hot body, tan & very-nice looking see-cups with awesome nips and barely-noticeable implants. She was cool and fun and hot and I hit it twice. Second time after I gave her a massage. That's the good.

The bad: All of it. I KNOW this place is over-priced but I wanted what I wanted. First thing "Julie" says after I paid the house fee (and laid out the rest saying,"I don't negotiate") she said,"Oh that not enough to fuuuuh". It went on like this for a few go 'rounds before I got up, walked towards the cash. Grabbed it. And said: "Listen, I'm giving you forty bucks and then I'm leaving. I'm tired of this dicking around. That's what I brought, I'm out of there." She freaked.

Not like, freaked on me. She just looked scared. She said,"No! You stay! You stay!" and got on her knees in front of me and started to tease. I took control there. She did her thing with my hands behind her head and then off to the races. I pretty much bossed her around after taking charge. I've never done that before. Always been passive. It's the reports I've read on here from guys who don't take bullshit from these ho's. Especially the Asian ones. Who gave me the inspiration to do it. WIN.

So. Julie at Gold Spa. Damage $$$. Looks = 6 (cute face, horrible teeth & breath) /Body = 8 or 9 easily / Attitude (pre-adjustment) : 2 / Attitude (post-adjustment) : 6.

Never going there again. Massage wasn't even a consideration. Then again. I knew that.

Merry Christmas!

[Niteluvr]

A) I was there

Be) I was not interested in extras.

See) Been awhile since I have done something idiotic.

The) I was curious about the bullet holes. Almost makes me want to root for the bad guys.

Take your pic, but all are apt answers to your question.

Fair enough. As much as I hate to say it, you might have been better off seeing Missy at Missy's Retreat in the next strip mall south of Tong. But, I hate to refer anyone to her. Hard to find a good provider in the area from north of Tong.

[Niteluvr]

WTH is up with the a, be, see, the autochanges? Man, it just isn't my night.

I think we've all been complaining about Jackson's software since the changeover. You can type a perfect post and it will end up royally f*cked up.

[NuGuy36]

Some of these so called massage ladies are completely clueless about how to administer massages. I got a shoulder massage from a Hispanic chick some months ago and it left the muscles in my shoulder area in severe pain for months.

Actually embarrassed to post this. I am certainly no novice to AMPs, but my experience at Tong was so bad that I just had to share.

Been feeling real tight this week and wanted a legit massage. Went to my regular legit place, but all girls were busy so I went to Tong.

Three girls there, no customers. Anna and two others. Anna has gained quite a paunch, but it is so loose that she can't be pregnant, even though it looked like it. One of the other girls was literally snoring and drooling on one of the chairs (and she was the best looking of the lot.) The other was busy on her laptop and never even looked up, thank goodness or I might have turned to stone just looking at her square in the face. All are overweight and none are attractive by even a blind man's standard.

I have seen Anna before and while no extras, she had always been pretty good at massage and my neck was really sore, so I went for an hour. She was so freakin rough that I told her to ease up, twice. During the scalp massage, I thought she was literally ripping my hair out (I stopped her before I ended up completely bald.)

No hint of extras as is typical with her. Flip came and that is where it went south in a hurry.

Anna starts rubbing my neck and shoulders while I am face up. I smell something funny, but can't figure out what it was. Weird sort of shea butter scent. Then she starts massaging my face and all of a sudden, I am having trouble breathing, my face is burning, and my eyes are stinging. Plus, she is literally grinding her hands into my temples and smashing my face (again, I have had my share of massages before. – this was beyond rough.) I grab her hands and rear up. I say enough and she smiles, says okay, no more face. I lay back down and she starts to rub the side of my face. I really can't breathe now so I rear back up and say I'm done. It was only then that I noticed the ICY / HOT. She had rubbed my shoulders with it and then went straight to my face without washing her hands or wiping that stuff off. My sense of smell is not the best and it was mixed with whatever shea butter scent she had been using on my back, but I still can't believe I did not recognize the menthol scent. That stuff is not intended for the face and what AMP even uses it in the first place?

At that point, I can hardly see since my eyes are burning and having real trouble breathing. The look I gave must have scared her because, she left real quick promising to send another girl in. I did not stick around for anymore. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face as best I could and left.

The part that makes me so angry at myself is that I was there for 30 minutes and put up with that crap. I paid for a half, no tip and left. Too many lessons learned here to even know where to begin. On a personal note, I once put liniment in a friend's suntan lotion when he went on his honeymoon – dang, I guess I owe him an apology.

[Amp Fme]

A) I was there

Be) I was not interested in extras.

See) Been awhile since I have done something idiotic.

The) I was curious about the bullet holes. Almost makes me want to root for the bad guys.

Take your pic, but all are apt answers to your question.

WTH is up with the a, be, see, the autochanges? Man, it just isn't my night.

[Amp Fme]

Hawaii chicks do bareback? I would think they would be ultra-conservative and everything would be covered, given the touristy nature of Hawaii.

I "think" he forgot to include a J at the end of that BB. But I wouldn't listen to me, I am the antithesis of those Holiday Inn commercials, I went to Tong.

[Amp Fme]

Lucy at Super Salon down the road would have been a better choice. From what we talked about before, why did you even try Anna?

A) I was there

Be) I was not interested in extras.

See) Been awhile since I have done something idiotic.

The) I was curious about the bullet holes. Almost makes me want to root for the bad guys.

Take your pic, but all are apt answers to your question.

[Niteluvr]

From what I've read on the Hawaii forums, Hawaii-like service would be GFE and BB.

Hawaii chicks do bareback? I would think they would be ultra-conservative and everything would be covered, given the touristy nature of Hawaii.

[Niteluvr]

Actually embarrassed to post this. I am certainly no novice to AMPs, but my experience at Tong was so bad that I just had to share.

Been feeling real tight this week and wanted a legit massage. Went to my regular legit place, but all girls were busy so I went to Tong.

Three girls there, no customers. Anna and two others. Anna has gained quite a paunch, but it is so loose that she can't be pregnant, even though it looked like it. One of the other girls was literally snoring and drooling on one of the chairs (and she was the best looking of the lot.) The other was busy on her laptop and never even looked up, thank goodness or I might have turned to stone just looking at her square in the face. All are overweight and none are attractive by even a blind man's standard.

I have seen Anna before and while no extras, she had always been pretty good at massage and my neck was really sore, so I went for an hour. She was so freakin rough that I told her to ease up, twice. During the scalp massage, I thought she was literally ripping my hair out (I stopped her before I ended up completely bald.)

No hint of extras as is typical with her. Flip came and that is where it went south in a hurry.

Anna starts rubbing my neck and shoulders while I am face up. I smell something funny, but can't figure out what it was. Weird sort of shea butter scent. Then she starts massaging my face and all of a sudden, I am having trouble breathing, my face is burning, and my eyes are stinging. Plus, she is literally grinding her hands into my temples and smashing my face (again, I have had my share of massages before. – this was beyond rough.) I grab her hands and rear up. I say enough and she smiles, says okay, no more face. I lay back down and she starts to rub the side of my face. I really can't breathe now so I rear back up and say I'm done. It was only then that I noticed the ICY / HOT. She had rubbed my shoulders with it and then went straight to my face without washing her hands or wiping that stuff off. My sense of smell is not the best and it was mixed with whatever shea butter scent she had been using on my back, but I still can't believe I did not recognize the menthol scent. That stuff is not intended for the face and what AMP even uses it in the first place?

At that point, I can hardly see since my eyes are burning and having real trouble breathing. The look I gave must have scared her because, she left real quick promising to send another girl in. I did not stick around for anymore. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face as best I could and left.

The part that makes me so angry at myself is that I was there for 30 minutes and put up with that crap. I paid for a half, no tip and left. Too many lessons learned here to even know where to begin. On a personal note, I once put liniment in a friend's suntan lotion when he went on his honeymoon – dang, I guess I owe him an apology.

Lucy at Super Salon down the road would have been a better choice. From what we talked about before, why did you even try Anna?

[TwistedBrother]

From what I've read on the Hawaii forums, Hawaii-like service would be GFE and BB.

Whoa. Someone named Joy only gives a clothed massage at Aroma Therapy? Did you protest to the mamasan? Exactly what is Hawaii-like service?

[Amp Fme]

Actually embarrassed to post this. I am certainly no novice to AMPs, but my experience at Tong was so bad that I just had to share.

Been feeling real tight this week and wanted a legit massage. Went to my regular legit place, but all girls were busy so I went to Tong.

Three girls there, no customers. Anna and two others. Anna has gained quite a paunch, but it is so loose that she can't be pregnant, even though it looked like it. One of the other girls was literally snoring and drooling on one of the chairs (and she was the best looking of the lot.) The other was busy on her laptop and never even looked up, thank goodness or I might have turned to stone just looking at her square in the face. All are overweight and none are attractive by even a blind man's standard.

I have seen Anna before and while no extras, she had always been pretty good at massage and my neck was really sore, so I went for an hour. She was so freakin rough that I told her to ease up, twice. During the scalp massage, I thought she was literally ripping my hair out (I stopped her before I ended up completely bald.)

No hint of extras as is typical with her. Flip came and that is where it went south in a hurry.

Anna starts rubbing my neck and shoulders while I am face up. I smell something funny, but can't figure out what it was. Weird sort of shea butter scent. Then she starts massaging my face and all of a sudden, I am having trouble breathing, my face is burning, and my eyes are stinging. Plus, she is literally grinding her hands into my temples and smashing my face (again, I have had my share of massages before. – this was beyond rough.) I grab her hands and rear up. I say enough and she smiles, says okay, no more face. I lay back down and she starts to rub the side of my face. I really can't breathe now so I rear back up and say I'm done. It was only then that I noticed the ICY / HOT. She had rubbed my shoulders with it and then went straight to my face without washing her hands or wiping that stuff off. My sense of smell is not the best and it was mixed with whatever shea butter scent she had been using on my back, but I still can't believe I did not recognize the menthol scent. That stuff is not intended for the face and what AMP even uses it in the first place?

At that point, I can hardly see since my eyes are burning and having real trouble breathing. The look I gave must have scared her because, she left real quick promising to send another girl in. I did not stick around for anymore. I grabbed a towel and wiped my face as best I could and left.

The part that makes me so angry at myself is that I was there for 30 minutes and put up with that crap. I paid for a half, no tip and left. Too many lessons learned here to even know where to begin. On a personal note, I once put liniment in a friend's suntan lotion when he went on his honeymoon – dang, I guess I owe him an apology.

[Niteluvr]

Great report as always, NL. Is this the Golden Touch on PIB, or has a new one opened up on Buf Hwy?

It's the one sandwiched between PIB and Winters Chapel Road. If you can, get to know Lisa the owner or the pudgy little mamasan with the short butch haircut. If they warm up to you, you'll be treated well.

[Cocknballs]

While we're on the topic of deceptive ads, I'd like to remind everyone to avoid Missy of Missy's Retreat in Duluth.

I'll second this. She's a pure tease, and will lie to you on the phone.

[Cocknballs]

Checked out a few AMPs today:Golden Touch: Summer came to the room first. I had a session with her several weeks ago so I asked to see the other girl and Jeena showed up. I recognized Jeena from another AMP (I think Fuji) but she doesn't have a pretty face. I then asked that Summer come back. At first she seemed a little miffed that I hadn't chosen her right away but warmed up within a few minutes. Had a pretty good GFE session with her and went well over the allotted time. She was enthusiastic and she can deep throat but her teeth do get in the way, to the point that it can become uncomfortable. The downside to Summer's body is she's had a kid and the stretch marks show as well as bolt-ons that are not quite as shapely as they should be.

Great report as always, NL. Is this the Golden Touch on PIB, or has a new one opened up on Buf Hwy?