"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[TravelinSD]

Hey, thought I'd throw my 2cents in on public M&Gs. I personally like them. I've never even attempted to try and make an arrangement to meet alone. I'm somewhat surprised that you can even convince a non-pro to do that. Then again, I am looking for a social / emotional connection in addition to the sex part. I do think that hour or so of conversation makes for a better, more relaxed sexual experience. I'm running about 25/75 on my initial M&G leading to sex on the first date, that's sex 25% of the time. Sometimes it's been mentioned and details worked out ahead of time and sometimes I've just gone with the flow and it's happened. Just recently I had a text exchange with a PotSB asking her to dinner. Her response was "Just dinner?". Due to schedule conflicts on both our parts we haven't met yet, but have worked out all the details already and just need to find a time. That is kind of exciting. As far as wasting the sugar on a bad experience, I always leave the sex and sugar as an option if things go well at dinner or lunch. I'll say something like "if things go well and we have chemistry, perhaps we can go back to my place (or room) for a night cap after dinner." That way the most I'm out is the dinner or lunch costs. I would be much more upset if I laid out the sugar amount and then found out the physical chemistry wasn't there. As far as public M&G, I agree with what most folks have already said. I too am at least 30 years older than the PotSBs I'm going out with. If seen and questioned I'd just say it's a friend or business associate. That's my take.

Happy Hunting!

Drummer.

I feel like I caused the topic to go to a grinding halt, haha. So I thought I'd pose a question and ask for a bit of advice.

Over the last several days I've been reading back through this topic (almost about 60% through it so far) and I noticed that even the experienced SDs in this topic almost always have a Meet & Greet with a potential SB before going to a hotel. Is this by choice or necessity?

[Magic Rat]

I've almost always done the meet and greet with a Pot SB. Up until the last few, most of the time the M&G ended up immediately in the FC, or not at all. Either the SBs are changing or I have totally lost my game as I've just dipped a toe back in the SB pool recently. Seems like all the pots are asking what kind of arrangement I want up front, where I would rather discuss that during the M&G. A few times recently when I have told them that, I get no response. I'm beginning to wonder if it's just me or the shallow pool I have to cast my bait. Recently, even if the M&G seems to go well, inevitably the next email is how much are you thinking? Early in my tenure here, we had several posts about slipping the sugar into a pocket at the end, which always seemed to work for me. These days it seems to be different.

As for the M&Gs in a public place, I haven't had much of an issue there, and I live in a small town in the South. I usually take a file with me so the pot SB can be a client is my cover. So far so good.

I think the reason the board has been quiet is just what you said. With summertime here, many more activities consume our time, especially with the holiday week upon us.

Saying that, Nando and Scott have been quiet lately. Hope all is well with them.

[Graham111]

I am impressed that you can vet enough to avoid meet and greet. Perhaps I am not patient enough but I always meet and greet. Keep it light and short. 1 hour. And provide a Starbucks gift certificate as I leave. You quickly find out if the pics are accurate and attitude matches expectations. But I am in an away town where no one would recognize me. Avoids most problems. Last week met a pot SB who's pics were 5 years and 20 pounds ago. A few drinks and the starbucks certificate. No thanks. Texted me when do we get together. I declined respectfully and got a blast that "You owe me, read the web site". On and on and on. Cannot imagine what that would have been like in the FC!

[AliasSM]

John, Looks like its just you and I that are posting on this board these days. Highly unusual to see the board go dormant for so long so I can only speculate that the hot and family-busy summer months have taken their toll on all of the SD activity. I know it's harder for me to get free time out of the house when there are lawns to mow, vacations to plan, and family coming to town to entertain. It's also a busy time at work for me so my free time suffers.

I'm not an expert on the M&G topic, but I do consider it a necessary evil in the true world of SD / SB relations. In my experience, it's hard to convince the true non-pro to go straight to the fucking chamber on the first date without a chance to personally see each other and kick the tires so to speak. I'd love to skip the ritual myself, but don't see that happening, at least in my neck of the woods. It seems ingrained in the SB culture here (in the conservative South) , and thats not likely to change anytime soon. That being said, I think you can reduce your risks considerably if you use your (big) head and take some precautions. I'm married also, but don't have the work-from-home restrictions that you do. I can usually get away for longer lunch periods at my work at least once or twice a week without causing any suspicions. So I almost always suggest a quick lunch to the interested SB. If you pick a spot away from work and normal family hangouts (and away from popular spots like the shopping mall) you reduce the risk of seeing family, friends, and co-workers. Since I am usually at least 30 years older than my SBs, I always try to have some excuse just in case of the random encounter with an acquaintance. It's not like they are catching you in bed with someone. It's only a lunch meeting! So if I meet family or non-work friends, my lunch date would be a new intern at the office that I have been assigned to train for the day. If I meet a work-related person, she is an out-of-town niece or friend of my daughter that I am taking to lunch while she's in town. I've never had to use one of these lines so far, but I always have one handy just in case.

San Diego is a big area, so you should be able to reduce your risks considerably if you chose places a little off the beaten path and have a fall-back story in case Murphy attacks.

I do agree that in an ideal world we could almost eliminate these risks by going directly to the FC.

I read your recent post about your potential Chastity SB. While I think it's highly doubtful that you will ever penetrate this little religious virgin, what fun you will have trying. Keep us informed on how all of this goes. I had almost given up on the CL approach, but you now have me rethinking that strategy. We fish in much different waters being over 3000 miles apart, so you don't have to worry about competition from me. If you care to share one of your more successful CL posts with me, I'd love to see how it works in the South. PM me with any information you feel comfortable with sharing.

Good to have you on this forum. Stay in touch.

Alias.

So I'd love to hear advice from other married SD / Mongers here who work from home while also trying to balance the SD / SB lifestyle. I definitely would appreciate any tips on creating more "free time" that doesn't raise suspicions from the Warden. Right now, my gym time is the only window I have during the week.

[John G Smith]

Okay, now I really feel like I'm flooding the board, but it's Sunday night and I finally got a little free time to myself, so what else am I going to do? But apologies ahead of time for those I'm annoying with my posts.

Anyway, I wanted to share a little bit of my experience that I've been having with a new SB over the last several weeks. A few weeks ago, she responded to my CL ad and actually asked if she could work as my secretary since I mentioned I was a successful businessman in my ad. I basically said I'd think about it (ha!) and we should start a traditional SD / SB relationship first. But what's the most interesting thing about her is that she's 21 and she's supposedly still a virgin! So that's why I'll call her Chastity SB. I was pretty doubtful at first because you don't see too many attractive 21 year-olds who are still virgins these days. I'd rate her about a 7 in looks, an 8 when she puts effort into it. Nice average / slim body. But when I went to her Facebook page (she directed me toward it) and went through it in depth, I finally figured out why she's still a virgin. She's very religious and still lives at home.

But it's pretty clear, a part of her is ready to break free. So not only did we start txting a quite a bit, but also sexting! She really got turned on by the idea of being my secretary and likes role-playing the naughty secretary. She also calls me Daddy all the time and sends me nice little flirtatious txts at least a couple times a day. This all before I've even given her a single cent! And she initiates a lot of it. I told her I would help pay for her college, but since it's just community college and she just wants to take a few classes, it'll only cost a few hundred yet she was super appreciative. She's still unsure if she's ready to have sex, but she's willing to do other "activities" while we work our way up to it.

I adore her already because it just feels like what a real SD / SB relationship should be. I can feel she has a genuine attraction for me in addition to the promise of money. I like how she flirts with me without me having to outline it in a contract or something. And since she's completely fresh, her needs are pretty modest. The other day she asked if I could buy her a bicycle. So she's not trying to juice thousands per month.

THAT said. Because she's religious, I always dread Sundays. It's been like clockwork the past couple of weeks. Every Sunday, she gets cold feet and says,"it's wrong. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm so sorry, I can't do this" Then I have to do some sweet talk and talk her off the ledge. Last week I got annoyed and saw a backup SB. Happened again tonight where she had another moral freakout, but I think I did a better job this time so hopefully she'll stay uninhibited longer this time, LOL.

We still haven't actually met yet. This is partially why in my previous post I was asking for ways to do a M&G in public but discreetly. I'm pretty sure taking her to a hotel right away will scare her off. I need to romance her a bit more.

I would really love to make Chastity SB my prime SB. But there's just so many variables right now. It's been tough to get her to commit for a date for an exact day or time, so I may never actually see her in person at this rate. She clearly has a sexual side she wants to explore, but she may just want to keep it purely txt-based for now. So arranging the first meet has been and will be a challenge. I'm hoping once I can put some sugar in her hand and touch her untouched sexual buttons, she'll be hooked.

But for now, I don't really consider her my prime or backup SB. She's more of my special project. But right now she's not costing me any money and I enjoy txting with her, so I'm willing to be patient. I know some girls would demand a 500-1000 monthly allowance just to do the type of consistent and flirtatious txts she does for free.

I'll keep you guys updated with my progress.

[John G Smith]

I feel like I caused the topic to go to a grinding halt, haha. So I thought I'd pose a question and ask for a bit of advice.

Over the last several days I've been reading back through this topic (almost about 60% through it so far) and I noticed that even the experienced SDs in this topic almost always have a Meet & Greet with a potential SB before going to a hotel. Is this by choice or necessity?

Out here in southern California, it seems much easier to get an SB to have the first meeting at a hotel or private place. Of the last 5 SBs I've met, I met all 5 at a hotel or private place on the very first meeting. Before you ask, yes these were true SBs / non pros. Not UTR or semi-pros. 4 out of the 5 girls, were college girls living at home. The other one was a struggling hair stylist also living at home. I'd say all were about 7-8 in the looks department.

My usual routine is to talk to them initially over email (hopefully getting a Facebook hit in the process). I try to get all the details out of the way before we even meet. So I'll say I'm a generous man, but I need to be discreet. I explain that if we meet in town it will need to be mostly behind closed doors. Most of the girls I correspond with understand what this means. Usually around this time, they ask how much I can help them with. I then give them a per meet offer based on. 1). Do they have a place where we can meet or will I always need to rent a room. 2). How far or close by they live. 3). Do I want her as a backup or primary SB.

Some girls will reject the offer, some girls accept it. If she accepts and I want to start moving things forward, I then give her my GV# and start setting up plans to meet. Since they know I need to be discreet and all the details have already been worked out, the first meet is usually directly at a private place or hotel room. Keep in mind, some of these girls need to be discreet too. They don't want their parents, friends, or boyfriend seeing them at a restaurant / bar with some older guy on a perceived date. Most of the SBs I've talked to, need some discretion as well so as long as you don't give them any "creeper" vibes, they're happy to skip the M&G.

However I agree, there are some advantages to a M&G. You can feel out the girl and see if there is any chemistry before you dole out any large amounts of cash. But at the same time, I think it's also easier for the girl to get cold feet and conversations can get awkward at times, especially when you're talking with someone 10-30 years younger than you. Also more importantly for me, I'm married so it's extremely risky for me to have a dozen M&Gs in public areas in a span of just a couple of months time. I prefer to do my M&G on the hotel table or bed. Talk for a bit to get comfortable and soon as any awkward silence hits, just jump into the action. Then between rounds, have more "M&G" time. This usually gives me a good enough vibe if I want to see her again anyway. If we don't click at all, then it was basically a one-night stand where we both benefited.

Anyway, I do encounter some girls that I don't always want to take the hotel room right away or I need to warm them up a little bit first. Do you guys have any advice for how a married guy can do a public M&G without it being such a huge risk for exposure? I'm in my 30s and can sometimes pass for mid / late 20s, so I usually don't attract too much attention if I'm with someone who at least looks over 21. However even on normal days with my family, we keep randomly bumping into friends, associates, and acquaintances. And those are the ones we saw. I'm sure people have seen me without saying anything. So I really don't want to go to a public place with my SB within a 45-50 mile radius of where I live. I also work from home, so it's very hard just to disappear for several hours. It takes a lot of groundwork for me to get that much free time and I don't want to waste it on a possible fruitless M&G. This is pretty much why I always push just to meet directly in the hotel.

So I'd love to hear advice from other married SD / Mongers here who work from home while also trying to balance the SD / SB lifestyle. I definitely would appreciate any tips on creating more "free time" that doesn't raise suspicions from the Warden. Right now, my gym time is the only window I have during the week.

[John G Smith]

A quick aside: She likes the TV or radio on during sex. I guess she prefers a little background noise. Tonight, it was the TV. Family Guy, in fact, which is not the most romantic choice, but it's better than, say Law and Order SVU (the one with all the creepy sex offenders). Anyway, on tonight's Family Guy, Ollie Williams the black weather guy made an appearance. Just as my baby is deep throating my cock, Ollie lets out one of his "IT'S GONNA RAIN!" forecasts, and she almost starts choking she's laughing so hard. So, we had a little fun, too, and I'll never watch Ollie Williams the same.

I'm from the West coast but I was reading this forum since I'm into the SD / SB scene and we don't have a proper Sugarbabies forum over there.

Anyway, this part of your post made me laugh because I also was banging my SB last night while Family Guy was on and had a similar experience, haha. Just thought it was hilarious that 3, 000 miles away another sugar daddy was banging his sugar baby to Family Guy in a hotel room. I wonder how many others were out there, ha.

Well again, I'm glad to see a proper sugarbaby forum on USG. I can relate to the experience of a lot of you guys. I also had to notify "landlord" when I left. I sent the notification after my SB left, but I got delayed because I couldn't find the night-time hotel manager to check out and they didn't have a key-drop off, so I was delayed leaving the hotel by 15-20 minutes just right there. Thankfully the landlord never confirmed the ETA and was too busy watching TV, so the delay was never noticed. But now I know I'm not going to send the notification until I'm actually ready to pull out of the hotel parking lot.

[AliasSM]

Well, I am happy to report that those of us (myself included) who thought she wouldn't show, or would show but would give less than 100% effort, were wrong. Very wrong. We both knew it was our last evening, so perhaps there was no pressure to perform. We had a lovely dinner, followed by absolutely mind-blowing sex back at the hotel. I am hopeful my earlier concerns were unfounded and will remain so.

A quick aside: She likes the TV or radio on during sex. I guess she prefers a little background noise. Tonight, it was the TV. Family Guy, in fact, which is not the most romantic choice, but it's better than, say Law and Order SVU (the one with all the creepy sex offenders). Anyway, on tonight's Family Guy, Ollie Williams the black weather guy made an appearance. Just as my baby is deep throating my cock, Ollie lets out one of his "IT'S going to RAIN!" forecasts, and she almost starts choking she's laughing so hard. So, we had a little fun, too, and I'll never watch Ollie Williams the same.

I am sorry to let this girl go; she's turned out to be a real gem. It is unfortunate that I have neither the time nor the cash flow to keep her on the payroll long term, but she wasn't shy about telling me to get in touch from time to time, should the mood strike.

I'm glad it all ended on good terms for the both of you Joe. Now I'm going to make a prediction of my own. With sex that good, you will be back. Maybe not soon, depending on your other commitments, but if your brain (both little and big one) thinks like mine does, you will not be able to stay away for long. The smart SB is the one that always leaves you with a smile on your face. That way, odds are the little brain will take over and eventually bring you back like a boomerang.

I don't have the strength to stay away from the good ones. The only thing that finally does it for me is a string of bad or lackluster performances.

Alias

[JoesParty]

My guess is the odds would be significantly less than 50/50 that she shows tomorrow and goes balls to the wall in the FC. Moreover, I would look for a no-show, or maybe an appearance so that she can inform you of some reason why you shouldn't cast her to the wind, or beg for continuance of the allowance because she is destitute, et al. Can't imagine since you are basically cutting her off at the knees that all will function as normal, so I would be prepared for anything and highly surprised or even shocked if it turns out to be a robust bang-a-rama.

Well, I am happy to report that those of us (myself included) who thought she wouldn't show, or would show but would give less than 100% effort, were wrong. Very wrong. We both knew it was our last evening, so perhaps there was no pressure to perform. We had a lovely dinner, followed by absolutely mind-blowing sex back at the hotel. I am hopeful my earlier concerns were unfounded and will remain so.

A quick aside: She likes the TV or radio on during sex. I guess she prefers a little background noise. Tonight, it was the TV. Family Guy, in fact, which is not the most romantic choice, but it's better than, say Law and Order SVU (the one with all the creepy sex offenders). Anyway, on tonight's Family Guy, Ollie Williams the black weather guy made an appearance. Just as my baby is deep throating my cock, Ollie lets out one of his "IT'S GONNA RAIN!" forecasts, and she almost starts choking she's laughing so hard. So, we had a little fun, too, and I'll never watch Ollie Williams the same.

I am sorry to let this girl go; she's turned out to be a real gem. It is unfortunate that I have neither the time nor the cash flow to keep her on the payroll long term, but she wasn't shy about telling me to get in touch from time to time, should the mood strike.

[Varoom]

Exactly the encouragement I needed to hear, Cmdr! I plan on doing just this tomorrow afternoon.

My guess is the odds would be significantly less than 50/50 that she shows tomorrow and goes balls to the wall in the FC. Moreover, I would look for a no-show, or maybe an appearance so that she can inform you of some reason why you shouldn't cast her to the wind, or beg for continuance of the allowance because she is destitute, et al. Can't imagine since you are basically cutting her off at the knees that all will function as normal, so I would be prepared for anything and highly surprised or even shocked if it turns out to be a robust bang-a-rama.

[JoesParty]

I don't see a reason to skip your final meeting. If she wanted the information she has it. If she plays that card you are prepared to fight back. Enjoy that last visit and make sure you hit the bottom of her pussy hole! Pound that nasty thing thru the mattress!

SubCmdr Out.

Exactly the encouragement I needed to hear, Cmdr! I plan on doing just this tomorrow afternoon.

[SubCmdr]

Joe,

Since you have already acknowledged that it was a bad call I'm not going to ride you for that. You have a legitimate concern about revealing intelligence on yourself. You would not have put yourself into this situation if you had of just gone 'cold turkey' on the pussy and simply never bothered to inform your SB that it was over. Sometimes is it best to have her wonder what is going on. A unexpected interruption of cash flow keeps her off balance and gives you the tactical advantage when you wish to reengage.

The real issue is all of the bad things that can happen when you leave someone else in a hotel room that has your name attached to it. The worst case scenario: A crime of ANY type occurs in the room. Now my friend you are between a rock and a hard place. Local law enforcement rolls up on you. If you give yourself up, it is on the record. If you invoke your constitutional rights, further investigation by 5-O is going drag your name through the mud. You see you name in the paper. Friends, work colleagues, and clients start looking at you funny. You are forced to have one or more uncomfortable conversations with your landlord that at best overdraws your trust account and at worse results in an eviction.

Now what I just presented is called absolute risk. Relative risk is the type you took. You were with a known quantity. You looked at all of the risk factors and decided it was a risk you were willing to take. We all make those types of decisions each day.

In the future my suggestion would be to wait until you have left the building before establishing your ETA with the Warden (oops I mean landlord) when returning from your work release pass. I don't see a reason to skip your final meeting. If she wanted the information she has it. If she plays that card you are prepared to fight back. Enjoy that last visit and make sure you hit the bottom of her pussy hole! Pound that nasty thing thru the mattress!

SubCmdr Out.

While I was getting dressed to leave, I texted the landlord to let her know that I would be "leaving work" momentarily. She confirmed my ETA in response. I'm putting on my shoes, and I look over at the bed, and SB23 has crawled in. I must have given her a quizzical look, because she replied that she was feeling nauseated and needed to rest a few minutes. Alarm bells went off immediately. I was screwed. I was due home by a certain time (although traffic can be unpredictable, especially with the construction going on) , and SB23 was basically refusing to leave. She said she wasn't sure what the problem was, but that I could go and she would leave a few minutes after me, when she felt better. Um, hell no. Does anyone else see her potential endgame here?

I figured she wanted me to leave so she could use the hotel TV system to look up my "guest folio" and figure out my real name. Now, maybe she did have an upset stomach, but what better way for an enterprising young baby to keep the cash coming in-when she's been told it's going to dry up-than to find out my real name to set up a blackmail scheme? Someone please tell me I'm crazy or overreacting, but I need to be cautious here.

In the end, she forced my hand. In the heat of the moment, I couldn't come up with another excuse to delay my ETA home, and I'm not the kind of guy to forcibly evict a SB from my room. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. So I left. I left her there. Alone. In my room, with access to my real name.

[JoesParty]

I still maintain that this is the best sub-forum on USASG, so I feel a little guilty for being absent lately. But something happened this week that I must report, as I know we have discussed it in general terms before, and the specifics of my situation may help other gents in their SB pursuits.

With the warm Midwestern summer upon us, I've frankly found myself more interested in pursuits other than SBs. Golf, swimming, jogging, and other outdoor activities are high on my priority list right now, and work is absolutely killing me. Plus, I have incurred some unexpected expenses at home. So taking even one or two evenings a week to visit the FC is a challenge. I therefore decided I needed to adjust my approximately six-week-old arrangement with SB23. I decided to call her, hoping that she would suggest a less-frequent, less-allowance arrangement, but I suspected she would demur and bow out altogether. Well, that's more or less what she did. She suggested one last two-week allowance for two final meetings, after which we will move on. I knew paying upfront for two "final" meetings was risky, but I also knew that (1) she would have to show to meeting #1 to collect, and (2) even if she bolted on meeting #2, I'd at least be done. I like the girl, so I basically decided why not roll the dice on two more quality fucks.

We met last week for final #1. The sex was good, and she was enthusiastic and creative, but honestly, my heart just wasn't into it. But that is neither here nor there. It was what occurred after that is important.

While I was getting dressed to leave, I texted the landlord to let her know that I would be "leaving work" momentarily. She confirmed my ETA in response. I'm putting on my shoes, and I look over at the bed, and SB23 has crawled in. I must have given her a quizzical look, because she replied that she was feeling nauseated and needed to rest a few minutes. Alarm bells went off immediately. I was screwed. I was due home by a certain time (although traffic can be unpredictable, especially with the construction going on), and SB23 was basically refusing to leave. She said she wasn't sure what the problem was, but that I could go and she would leave a few minutes after me, when she felt better. Um, hell no. Does anyone else see her potential endgame here?

I figured she wanted me to leave so she could use the hotel TV system to look up my "guest folio" and figure out my real name. Now, maybe she did have an upset stomach, but what better way for an enterprising young baby to keep the cash coming in--when she's been told it's going to dry up--than to find out my real name to set up a blackmail scheme? Someone please tell me I'm crazy or overreacting, but I need to be cautious here.

In the end, she forced my hand. In the heat of the moment, I couldn't come up with another excuse to delay my ETA home, and I'm not the kind of guy to forcibly evict a SB from my room. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. So I left. I left her there. Alone. In my room, with access to my real name.

I heard from her the next day, with her thanking me for being "such a gentleman" for sitting with her for as long as I could. She said she rested maybe 30 minutes more, talked with her sister on the phone, and then left. We've made plans for our final visit next week.

Now before you all descend on me, I acknowledge what I did wrong here. And I won't repeat the mistakes. And I say all of this so that maybe someone else doesn't repeat the mistakes either. But all hope is not lost. See, I've done my homework on her, too. She doesn't know it, but I know virtually EVERYTHING about her: real name (interesting aside: she uses her real last name, but not her real first name), home address, real phone number, DL number, etc, etc, etc. I can't go into details about how I acquired this information, though it is all available. So, I have ammunition to fight back should things get ugly.

OK, now on to my question: Given all of this, do I meet with her our last time next week and play it off like nothing's wrong? For all I know, she really was feeling sick, and she never thought to check the TV. Or, she figured out my name, but was merely curious and doesn't plan to do anything with it. Or do I just cancel the meeting and call the unused allowance a parting gift?

As always, thanks for your thoughts and enjoy the beautiful weekend.

Joe

[F Scott]

Magic, Droo, Fix, Drummer, Joe, Nando, Sub, JoyD, Mandy and all my other brothers who have chimed in to offer their words of support - THANK YOU!

I had a really good day today, and am in a really great head space. Each of you contributed something to helping me get there, so, though I hope the time never comes for you, please let me repay you by being your sounding board should life in The Bowl get just a little too intense.

Once again, I feel the need to lay low for a bit, (am I bi-polar?) but I will continue to enjoy your exploits. I never expected to fall so fucking hard for my ATF, but all in all, I would not trade what we had for a lessening of the heartache I have felt. It took me four months to find her, so when I am back to full game again, I won't try to make every shiny new baby into her. No matter what happens with us in the future, no one can take away the thing we had, and the really fantastic memories I will take with me to the Old Folks Home.

Signing off before I start quoting Barry Manilow,

Scott

[Fixinit]

Scott,

Sorry to hear about your ATF but as much as it hurts now let her have her space and keep the lines of communication open for the future. If the time comes where she wants to get physical again I wouldn't let it get serious again just make it a friends with benefits relationship. You can trust each other it seems and this would give you some fun with someone you are attracted and can trust at the same time. Sometimes that is hard to find.

Fix