Massage Parlor Reports

**MagicMike1234** · 03-03-25 15:37

Originally Posted by LittleWillie65 [View Original Post]

I haven't been to the lake massage shop for a long time, and I just came in to have a look today. It's good to have a new girl. She received me very warmly, clean environment, clean and warm room. The new girl took me to my room. The massage is very good, especially the shoulder and neck massage and the head massage, I enjoy the comfortable massage. Fell asleep. When the massage was over I gave the girl a sixty dollar tip and left, very comfortable massage, I will be back.

I was fairly close this weekend and thought I would try somewhere new. Got there about 5:40 and the place was closed, of course I hadn't bothered to call beforehand. Are they out of business?

**LittleWillie65** · 01-05-25 15:59

I haven't been to the lake massage shop for a long time, and I just came in to have a look today. It's good to have a new girl. She received me very warmly, clean environment, clean and warm room. The new girl took me to my room. The massage is very good, especially the shoulder and neck massage and the head massage, I enjoy the comfortable massage. Fell asleep. When the massage was over I gave the girl a sixty dollar tip and left, very comfortable massage, I will be back.

**Cromwell** · 10-18-18 23:53

Originally Posted by SteveStone123 [View Original Post]

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

Now THAT'S funny!

**SteveStone123** · 03-16-17 08:09

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this and found it funny and decided to pass it along.

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing Neon signs with words like "massage", "bodyrub" or "fellatio barn". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know degenerates like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a handjob = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending, if I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a handjob (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied babysacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

HA!

**TideLover** · 06-10-14 00:00

Originally Posted by Buff9999 [View Original Post]

Looks like a can't miss for 80 for 1 hour.

If I can get over that way, I'll try it out.

**Buff9999** · 06-09-14 22:52

Originally Posted by TideLover [View Original Post]

http://alabama.backpage.com/Therapeu...ountry/9959631

Anyone seen her yet.

Looks like a can't miss for 80 for 1 hour.

**TideLover** · 06-08-14 22:20

http://alabama.backpage.com/Therapeu...ountry/9959631

Anyone seen her yet.

**CoastToCoast** · 04-04-14 00:05

Tried this one today. Good massage. .6 for 40 minutes. Good looking 40's woman. Great massage. No extras available. No table shower. Save your $ unless your looking for a massage only. Totally draped the whole time and never got near the fun places. No way to even brush the woman.

C2 C.

**Nickn3** · 10-25-13 20:12

I saw April today. Fair massage, good hand job, and she was ok with my hands wandering. I just wish to hell she would shut up. Maybe you guys can stick something in her mouth.

Again not bad.

http://mobile.backpage.com/BodyRubs/...res-36/5551115

Have a great day.

Nickn3.