Sexual Addiction Reports

[MeyghaMann]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

Hope you don't cause tremendous grief in your personal life this time.

[Doug Stamper]

My name is Doug, and I am a sex addict.

For several years, I regularly contributed to this forum. That was over 10 years ago. I had well over 100 posts. The majority of them, unlike this one, contained real information intended help others. Then came a day when my membership here caused me tremendous grief in my personal life. I retreated from this site and the hobby for a long time. I thought I could change who I was and what I had been doing. I found new ways to occupy my time, new things to think about. I tried to keep the my secret inner beast at bay. I was successful for awhile. Just when I thought I was out, this thing pulled me back in. Slowly at first, then more and more often I looked here for information which I put to "good" use in my quests. I really should have rejoined the ranks of the posters some time ago. But I felt like doing so would be an acknowledgement that I had completely relapsed. Well, turns out the only person I was fooling was myself. So here I am again.

[Head First]

I've been doing it more than three decades

A2.

High 5 to you. It's rare to hear of someone with so many years. The world is a better place because of this decision you made years ago.

Me too. It hasn't always been easy but it has been worthwhile.

My goal / legacy is to get to 50 years (2031). At that point I feel this one achievement will trump any failure (s) I had in life.

One morning 13 mos ago my younger brother didn't wake up. He died with a bottle in his hand.

Some people get it. Some don't. But For The Grace Of God ... There I Walk.

[Member #5605]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was deleted because the content of the report was pointless, unproductive drama. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

Look man, I'm sorry your mommy or daddy let you down so badly and it turned you into a rage o holic but I'm not going to let you abuse people here.

Maybe you can help me with something though. Why is it you guys who insist on calling people snowflakes are the ones that do the most crying? It's the case every time.

Sorry man, you can't do this anymore. I know you think you have an ownership stake on this forum but you don't and you have been abusing people for years and you're going to have to adjust that it's over.

A2

PS, I'm not censoring you, I'm muzzling you.

[OlGary]

Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.

Sorry man, I apologize for that.

Cool, this is you being the exact opposite of dumb. Thanks, I appreciate it.

A2

[Admin2]

Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.

Did you miss the part where I specifically told you that it isn't about that for me? Just curious, who do you think knows more about my life? You? Or me?

In my case it has nothing to do with will nor self control. I'm not guessing at that, this is not something I think, it's something I know. I'm informing you about that. It's not a discussion, it's not open to your interpretation, it's information I'm giving you. It's like if you told me your name. If you told me your name was Joe and I said "no it's Steve" I would look kind of stupid no? So if I tell you that in my case, in my experience, it's not about self will nor self control and that in fact I am totally lacking those characteristics and you tell me that I am incorrect and that having never met me you know more about me than I do, how do you think that makes you look?

Yeah, just that stupid. Please don't argue with me about this. As with the other guy your opinion doesn't hold the weight of fact. Especially when you are putting your opinion against my experience of my very own life.

A2.

[OlGary]

I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.

Well, it could be 12 steps or 144 steps — nothing will work until the person takes back control of his / her life. If you were able to do it for so long, you ARE capable of extreme self-control.

[Admin2]

Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.

I've been doing it more than three decades and that's not how it works for me hoss. Not busting your chops, your post wasn't douchey so I didn't have anything to say about the rest. Just saying that me willpower, and self-control have never been well acquainted is all.

A2.

[Admin2]

I got rid of his posts because he's wrong. It's not a matter of opinion, the science is in addiction is a disease. His issue is he's an atheist and hates the idea that some people are finding a spiritual solution to their disease and since he couldn't rationally attack their success he tried to invalidate the idea that addiction is a disease.

I'm not advocating for 12 step programs, I have my story and no shame about it but they aren't for everybody. I also have no issue with atheists, some of the people I know who are 12 step inclined are atheists, doesn't seem to hurt them any. he wasn't any of those, he was just a misinformed blowhard who thought his opinion carried the same weight as scientific fact. There seems to be more and more of those these days.

In any event, best of luck to the OP and I appreciate the compassion that you guys show them and even this misinformed blowhard.

A2

[OlGary]

It may not work for you, or may not have for some folks you know, but I've seen it work for many individuals in multiple cities over the past 25 years. I know folks whose lives were falling apart, whether it's sex, drugs or alcohol, and this is what did it for them (some "sober" for 20 years or more, including two family members for me).

Obviously different things work for different people and you have to find what works for you.

Addiction (including sex addiction) involves structural changes in the "reward system" of the brain which are irreversible. Therefore, addiction is an incurable disease in a sense that your brain will never be the same as it used to be before you became addicted. Don't kid yourself into believing that seeing a psychiatrist will solve your addiction problems — presently, there is no any reliable way to treat addiction, pharmacologically or psychotherapeutically. Of course, there are some people with extraordinary willpower capable of sobering up and staying sober for years. But they still have a desease, it didn't go away. They just suppress urges through extreme self-control.

[NiteWolf]

Fellas,

I have problem. I think I'm hook on this hobby. I know it not the safest hobby. But I find myself trying to go see my local MT, even I now I don't have the money. I use my CC and almost maxed it out. If I don't go for 2-3 days, I get these urges, like I'm going thru withdrawals. I want to control it, but sometimes I can't. The days I don't see my MT, I masturbate 2-3 x a day. I'm looking for any advice to slow myself down, so I want get to far into debt. It all started when my wife left me.

[Head First]

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.

Good info. Good place to start. Good post.

[TwistedBrother]

There isn't an easy cure. The rush from trying someone new and different and forbidding is intoxicating and overwhelming. Not surprisingly, what works the best for the most people is a 12-step program. I had some success with it when I was interested and willing to work it, and I've seen others have life-changing success.

For better or worse, there isn't one universal program like Alcoholics Anonymous. Multiple folks started 12-step programs over the years with somewhat different (but similar) definitions of "sobriety. " They include Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and a few others. Some are available in some cities and some aren't, but chances you can get help of some kind nearby.

This is one source of comparison and information. http://www.billherring.com/comparing-different-12-step-meetings-for-sex-addiction

You can Google much more.

Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[MeMonger]

Guys I need some help here. I've met an amazing beautiful sexy lady and she satisfies my every wish problem is I still want to get a BJ when I see a new girl walking. I've had restraint for about a year so far but the desire is sometimes overwhelming. Has anyone been able to beat the addiction? I've been doing this for 30 years now. How do I stop.

[Head First]

At what point does this habit become an addiction? I am relatively new to mongering (in 1 yr seen about 20 girls), I only do it a couple times a year at best but I when I do, I binge for a week or two then stop.

Sometimes when I go a while without doing it, I feel that RUSH where I NEED it now and can't think of anything else. Can't focus. The hunt. The feelings. The rush. It's like a fix I need no matter if I have no savings or seeing someone.

Is that an early warning sign that I should taper off or stop? I don't want this habit to go into sex addiction territory. I had a scare last week where I had no money but still went mongering in a dangerous area of town at a late hour against all common sense.

Yes. It's a warning sign of danger in your future. Here's a couple of reasons why I say that:

1.) You binge. Right now you may not be doing it on a daily or weekly basis because when you do it you do enough of it to last for a while. Then you come back. If you continue, the time in between will become shorter and shorter and one day you'll find yourself doing it 3-7 X a week.

2.) You do it even when you can't afford it. Huge sign that's it's become more than entertainment. If we get to this point we've crossed the proverbial 'line in the sand.'

3.) You do it also when you're seeing someone. No need for any splaining here. But a word of advice. Don't think you're fooling her. Females are experts on picking up on the many clues that we leave behind when we're cheating and eventually they figure it out. If you're married be warned she's going to get 60% of everything. Is it worth it?

4.) You're here asking the questions. To use a play off your own mongering name, GloDuck55, and I don't mean any disrespect here. But if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. It's probably a duck.

Do you have a problem? Come to your own conclusion but the first step in any successful recovery is admitting you have a problem.

We've all been / are still there. Don't expect any cures here. But we can offer support and free advice.