"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**IluvSmellyFish** · 04-01-15 12:32

Originally Posted by Walruscl [View Original Post]

The second part is a question. I know some of the brothers mention that they are open a with trusted friend about their experiences in the bowl. How does that work out? I wonder how many of you do this. I'm at the stage where I'd sorely like a sounding board, as my life feels like a house-of-mirrors that could use some perspective. But among the candidates in my circle of friends and acquaintances, the risks far outweigh any upside.

Food for though anyway.

I have hinted at my bowl activities with one very trusted friend but would never outright tell him about it. There is just too much risk. This forum is my outlet. Probably not a very good place to get a different perspective, but the reality of it is, as FM, has mentioned, our activities would not be condoned by our society in the US. A friend might be able to offer a different perspective, but in the end, that friend will either not agree with your decisions or alternatively ask you how he can can do to get into the bowl.

If you think a friend will be the former, then you will put yourself at risk for having shared. If he is the kind of guy who is likely to do the latter, then you could probably get the same perspective by posting your thoughts to this forum, but create additional risk to your life by having shared your decision to play in the bowl with someone you actually know.

IMHO, if I needed perspective on a question that I didn't feel like I could post to the forum publically, I'd probably send a pm to one of the other trusted senior members I have exchanged pms with in the past.

As for the other part of your post, if things have gone downhill so badly in your relationship with your SO, have you ever considered leaving her? You may want to consult a family / divorce attorney, but if there is nothing left to salvage in a relationship, the decision to preemptively end things on mutually agreeable terms generally work out better for a guy financially, than if a man is "caught cheating. " Then spouse who has been "cheated on" generally has significant leverage. Depending on the state you live in, and the state of your relationship would your SO, you might be able to negotiate a mutual consent divorce and walk away without having to pay a lifetime of alimony.

As for me, well, I am selfish. I want my cake and I want to eat it as well. My SO isn't perfect, but she puts out on demand, is attractive, and pulls at least some of the weight when it comes to taking care of life. I don't want to get rid of her, but the need for variety is too strong, and the fear of regret is too great. What it boils down to is at the end of the day I don't want to look back and wonder about all the opportunities I missed with so many hot beautiful young women.

**FredMoore** · 04-01-15 11:01

The bottom line for me is the need for variety and a lower maintenance experience. Everything with the SO is predicated on me being " good enough" and taking care of things of a non sexual nature. It's nice to have a baby who shows up, pleasures me, and GOES HOME. My SO is very fit and attractive for her age, so Ican't blame the ole "gotten fat" excuse. But I am just not turned on anymore. But give me a hot 20 yr old and I am ready to go.

As some of those You Tube articles say, there is just not a compelling reason to get married.

A trusted friend is invaluable to run things by, especially if he is non judgmental. If you don't have one seek a therapist to talk to. We are engaging in an activity that is not acceptable by societal standards, so there is a little ego hit for some of us, not to mention a social, business, financial one.

**Walruscl** · 04-01-15 09:32

I figured I'd switch the topic from bowl strategy to the personal matters that those of us with SO's deal with.

I recently decided to Google search variations on "sexless marriage", which proved to be a mix of interesting, depressing, and somewhat angering. At approx 4 times a year, my situation is well into the normal definition of a sexless marriage. Kids definitely gave it the final push (no surprise there), but it had been teetering there for years beforehand. The only reason it go sooner didn't was because I was still trapped in the begging-for-scraps mentality, and at the time that would still pay off occasionally.

What's interesting is both the range of stories yet the similarity of them. Also that the majority of hits were about women complaining that their spouse had no drive. What's depressing is what one can infer about how widespread it is when you look at this cross section (normal caveats of Google-extrapolation apply).

What's angering is that when you read the discussions of the stereotypical case of male drive exceeding female drive, it tends to devolve into blaming the victim. Well-meaning (and sometimes less so) advice of "do your chores, help out, be more supportive, make yourself more attractive". And gee, cut your spouse a break, she's stressed and tired from {job, motherhood, keeping the house, or fill-in-the-blank}. Occasionally the man would step to defend his honor in that he did not match the deadbeat husband stereotype, only to then suffer the "stop being so beta!" criticism.

When it's the woman not getting enough, well then, it's all about how cruel the man is being. That it's slow, demeaning psychological abuse being perpetrated by the man. And how nobody should be force to be celibate, since after all, sex is a normal part of human expression and a very important part of a relationship! It's a need, not a want, why doesn't he understand that?!

As someone who's in a place he never expected to be, fueled at least partly by realizing that the sex was a good as it would never get (and going downhill fast), I figured I'd find how other men were coping with this age-old problem. Didn't expect the hits I found, or how pronounced the double-standard seems to be.

The second part is a question. I know some of the brothers mention that they are open a with trusted friend about their experiences in the bowl. How does that work out? I wonder how many of you do this. I'm at the stage where I'd sorely like a sounding board, as my life feels like a house-of-mirrors that could use some perspective. But among the candidates in my circle of friends and acquaintances, the risks far outweigh any upside.

Food for though anyway.

**FyrGuy33** · 04-01-15 08:58

Originally Posted by HollywoodGuy [View Original Post]

My daughter now has a profile on SA. Good luck if she can find someone to spoil her more than I have. But I hope she does and lets me off the hook. You know you're in trouble when the girl shows up in a late model mercedes.

I'm not sure I would be so calm about that. But then again, how do you bring up that subject? I wonder if she now knows that Daddy has a profile on there too. Talk about uncomfortable.

I guess this really reminds us that every girl on there is somebody's daughter. Treat them like you would want someone to treat your daughter if she was on there.

**HollywoodGuy** · 04-01-15 02:30

My daughter now has a profile on SA. Good luck if she can find someone to spoil her more than I have. But I hope she does and lets me off the hook. You know you're in trouble when the girl shows up in a late model mercedes.

**FyrGuy33** · 03-31-15 21:37

Originally Posted by PhxFunLover [View Original Post]

You rock, already got one M&G setup in less than 24 hours, and don't worry I am changing the messages enough and no where near LA, although if there are anyone in the AZ area send me a pm so we can make sure we aren't sending too similar messages to the same SBs.

One question in prep for my first M&G, what are some red flags you guys pickup from SB's who might try to lead you on and not give up the goods? I mean getting a BJ or making out on the M&G it obvious for giving them up down the road.

Several things you need to keep in mind. The very first thing to remember is that you NEVER front any sugar. Never give them anything until you have a trip to the FC and the panties hit the floor. Also, determine what your budget is before you make an offer. Whatever that is, stick to it. Do not cave in because she is hot. You must always go into a m&g with the thought that you may have to walk away. Remember, we have the cash, they have the need. They also have the pussy we are looking for. But there are many, many others out there that will take whatever you are offering. No one pussy is worth over paying for.

The other advice I can offer you is to take the time to read as much of this thread as you can. It will sharpen your hobbyist skills immensely.

Oh yeah, and enjoy yourself.

**PhxFunLover** · 03-31-15 20:37

Originally Posted by HollywoodGuy [View Original Post]

Ok. Here are my 5 Steps in an easy to read format. Happy hunting.
I will update it from time to time if I get a better approach or find any typos.

http://coach4ula.wix.com/fivesteps

You rock, already got one M&G setup in less than 24 hours, and don't worry I am changing the messages enough and no where near LA, although if there are anyone in the AZ area send me a pm so we can make sure we aren't sending too similar messages to the same SBs.

One question in prep for my first M&G, what are some red flags you guys pickup from SB's who might try to lead you on and not give up the goods? I mean getting a BJ or making out on the M&G it obvious for giving them up down the road.

**Member #5144** · 03-31-15 15:51

For those of you on SA, could you make contact with Abigail in Verona? https://www.seekingarrangement.com/m...ecently-active.

She sent me some hot pics and a video (don't mention that when you contact her) made it sound like she was up for a meet (40 minutes from me) -- but now over a a day of radio silence.

Not sure if she is trying to find folks to buy videos or do web shows or if she is really up for a meet.

Any assistance in triangulating some intel would be greatly appreciated. Not many fish in the west central part of the sea.

**FredMoore** · 03-31-15 15:49

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaIqyuPCWmY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdr33aGnbas

http://www.fredoneverything.net/DontMarry.shtml

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg04...9r0ABA&index=7

Here are some vids posted on the Blog (SA) by the residents there.

**FyrGuy33** · 03-31-15 12:16

The 27 why / o I met up with a few weeks ago just texted me to say hello. This is the one that was dating a guy I know from another fire dept. She asked for 400 per date and I said I could only do 150. She rejected that but as we parted I said if you change your mind just let me know. Looks like maybe some bills are coming due and maybe she figures something is better than nothing. I noticed she has been on SA a lot since then and she has taken her profile pic down. As always, sometimes it pays to just sit tight. Never close the door on them. If you are the nice guy, even though you don't offer what they want, sometimes they come back. So let's see how this progresses.

On another note; the 29 why / o nurse in Florida that I have been talking to is now sending me naked pics and video's of her playing with herself. She is begging me for my cock. Seems to be an extremely frustrated young lady needing Daddy's attention. I leave tomorrow to go down to close on a new house there. Maybe Friday I can slip away from the warden for the afternoon and take care of this little girl. Another one that has not mentioned any sugar.

**FyrGuy33** · 03-31-15 12:04

Had a M&G with a pretty little 21 why / o nursing student set up for this morning. Very petite redhead, which could make me weak at the knees. We were all set to meet up at a DD for coffee. Confirmed with her last night, and she was telling me how excited she was to meet me. This morning, no show and has gone silent. Hope nothing happened to her but I get really annoyed when they do this.

On a good note, the 41 why / o MILF has been texting me on a regular basis. Looks like she wants to take a trip to the FC soon.

**HollywoodGuy** · 03-31-15 12:02

Originally Posted by FredMoore [View Original Post]

Those of us who have been at it a long while have developed our own shtick, but Hollywood's contributions are always welcome, and his approach seems to work very well for him. I will adopt many of his thoughts myself.

It will be hysterical to see how the Babies react to the same message coming to them from 50 guys.

I think we are spread out a bit geographically. If you live in los angeles please mix it up.

But if you are in the OC or IE dont even worry about it.

**FredMoore** · 03-31-15 10:10

Those of us who have been at it a long while have developed our own shtick, but Hollywood's contributions are always welcome, and his approach seems to work very well for him. I will adopt many of his thoughts myself.

It will be hysterical to see how the Babies react to the same message coming to them from 50 guys.

**LikeMike1963** · 03-31-15 09:49

My hats off to you as always!

Originally Posted by HollywoodGuy [View Original Post]

Ok. Here are my 5 Steps in an easy to read format. Happy hunting.
I will update it from time to time if I get a better approach or find any typos.

http://coach4ula.wix.com/fivesteps

**HollywoodGuy** · 03-30-15 21:18

Ok. Here are my 5 Steps in an easy to read format. Happy hunting.
I will update it from time to time if I get a better approach or find any typos.

http://coach4ula.wix.com/fivesteps